Noortje’s POV

We were somewhere in Italy right now. It had been a few days since Tony and I had our fight and I was still ignoring him. Jaime and Vic had helped me set up my bunk, so I wouldn’t have to share with Tony anymore. This was exactly what I was afraid of happening. Not only was my heart shattered, but I had also lost my best friend. It was slowly killing me inside. I still wasn’t eating and I didn’t feel confident anymore. Tony telling me he thought I was starving myself made me feel fragile and not worthy of my body. I know I shouldn’t let him get to me, but he did and there was nothing I could change about that.

Jaime decided we were going to the beach today and he seemed so excited about it. To be honest I really didn’t want to go. It meant showing my body. Wait, no. Today was going to be fun. I wasn’t going to let Tony get to my head today. Instead I was going to his head. I was going to wear the most revealing bikini I had and make him suffer. Show him what he’s missing.

“You guys ready to go?” Jaime called out.
“No,” I sighed, “I wasn’t planning on coming, but now I am. Just let me get changed.”
“Yay!” He picked me up and twirled me around.
“Ok Himes, You can put me down now.” I said emotionless while patting his head.
He put me down and gave me a sympathetic smile. I rolled my eyes. I know they were trying their best to cheer me up, but they didn’t understand that I didn’t want to be cheered up.

I looked through my bag, hoping that I could find the bikini I had throw in without care just before we left for tour. I never thought I would actually wear it and had no clue why I had bought it. Eventually I found the black bikini, which was held together with strings, at the very bottom. I walked towards the bathroom and accidentally walked into Tony who was coming from the back lounge. He tried to talk to me but I maneuvered around him and locked myself up in the bathroom.

I wasn’t really mad at him because of the starving comment (Don’t get me wrong, I still was upset and angry about it), but it was more about what he did after that. I know he was drunk and all, but he can’t just come up to me and kiss me, telling me he loves me. The word ‘love’ means so much to me. I never really had it around me while I was growing up, so I only used it in really special occasions. But Tony saying it to me while he was drunk was not a special occasion. People always say shit they don’t mean when they are drunk. And Tony definitely did not mean it. He wouldn’t have called us a mistake if he did…

I finally managed to put on the bikini, having some trouble with the top because of the different strings. I put on a kimono and grabbed my sunglasses. When I went back to the front lounge I found nobody but Jaime sitting there.
“Where is everybody?” I asked.
“They’re already at the beach. I decided to wait for you.” He answered.
“Oh ok. I’m just gonna grab my guitar and we can go.”
“Guitar?”
“Yes, I want to be able to do something when we’re there.”
“Ok, sure. Just hurry up!”

I quickly ran to the back lounge and got my acoustic guitar. Jaime and I walked to the beach in silence. I put on my sunglasses and held on to my guitar so it wouldn’t scrape against the floor. I could feel guys staring at me and knew this would have to set off Tony. Maybe today wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it would be.
“You know guys are staring at you right?”Jaime nudged.
“I know,” I smirked, “Let them. I’m ignoring them anyway.”
“Ok then. If you need me to shout at anybody, just let me know.”
“Don’t worry Jaime, I will.”

My feet touched the soft warm sand and relaxation rushed through my body. It had been ages since I had gone to a beach. But all the memories were good ones. Now all I had to do was find Tony and the others. I wanted to see Tony’s reaction. You might call me mean and selfish but I needed to see him suffer, even if it was just for an hour or less.

I spotted them and ran over, Jaime trying to run after me without falling over. Sand is really difficult to run in, ok? The towels were already placed to create one big blanket and I saw someone had brought a cooler. The guys were sitting in a circle.
“Hey guys,” I smiled.
“You brought a guitar!” Vic made grabby hands towards it, “Gimme!”
I laughed and handed it to him, “Be careful with it, it’s my favourite guitar.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be carefull.”
I looked around and saw Tony staring at me with wide eyes. We made eye contact and he rapidly averted his eyes to the floor next to him. His eyes were still wide and I knew my plan was starting to work. I sat down next to Vic and saw there was candy placed in the middle of the group.
“Ooh! Lollipop!” I instantly grabbed one and put it in my mouth, leaning back on my elbows.
Tony tried to look in the other direction, but I noticed him taking quickly glanced at me. I acted like I didn’t know what I was doing to him and looked out at the ocean.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” Tony announced and hastily stood up.
I watched him hurry away and smirked. My plan had worked. I knew the walk he was doing. He always did it whenever he was getting hard. It wasn’t much different from a normal walk, and I was probably the only one that knew the difference, but he’s been my best friend for years, I’ve watched movies alone with him many times. The amount of times he would walk away during a sex scene only to return when the movie was almost finished was actually quite funny to see.

My assumptions were right as Tony only returned about half an hour later.
“What took you so long!” Mike teased.
“I got lost. Everything looks the same! It’s just sand and water everywhere.” Tony lied.
“Hmm… Whatever.”

I watched Vic’s fingers fly across the fretboard and was mesmerized. Guitars just made me happy, alright? Anything to do with them was awesome to me. I couldn’t figure out what song Vic was playing. It could have been improvised, but it sounded so familiar. He strummed the last chord and looked at me.
“You play something now.” He insisted and gave me the guitar.
“I don’t know.” I hesitated.
“Come on, Noortje!” Jaime encouraged.
“I don’t even know what to play.”
“Just play anything.”

I thought for a while and strummed a G chord. I knew exactly which song to play.

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.”

Everybody clapped really loud, even some people around us clapped.
“Fuck you guys.” I growled.
“Oh, what’s that? Did you just say it was time to go in the water?” Jaime picked me up and started walking towards the water.
“No Jaime! Put me down.” I screamed. I seriously did not want to want to go in the water. There was no way I was going to get wet and salty. I was just here to annoy Tony. The more I said that, the more I realised this was actually a really weird and stupid idea.
Jaime didn’t put me down and instead started laughing.
“Im being serious Hime! I don’t feel comfortable going into the water, ok!”
Jaime stopped in his tracks, “What, why?”
“You know, that thing, where girls bleed out of their vagina once a month.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” He put me down on the wet ground. I was just in time with stopping him. Few.

Ok, yes, I was lying. I wasn’t actually on my period. But how else would I have gotten out of it? I actually still hadn’t had my period. My doctor had warned me about that though, so it was nothing to worry about. Besides, Tony and I always used protection… Except the first time, but I took a morning after pill. Why not take my medication forever so I’ll never have my period? Sounds good to me.

Jaime walked back to the others with me and I took my seat next to Vic again.
“How did you get out of that?” Mike whined.
“As Noortje put it, she’s ‘bleeding out of her vagina’.” Jaime said nonchalantly.
“Jaime!” I scolded.
“What!”
“You didn’t need to tell everybody that!”
“I’m sorry!”
“Ugh, this is so embarrassing.” I hid my face in my hands.
Vic wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side, “It’s ok. I’m used to it, I used to live with you. You live with Tony now, so he better get used to it. Jaime doesn’t seem to mind. The only person I don’t know about is Mike.”
“I don’t care. I mean why would I? If I were creeped out by it, it would be very immature.” Mike said encouragingly.
“Thanks guys,” I mumbled. At least now I knew I would never have to be embarrassed about it. Plus, I could now use the bathroom excuse to leave them, whenever I felt like it, the next couple of days.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel like going for a swim.” Mike said.
Jaime and Tony nodded and stood up along with Mike.
“Do you want me to stay here with you?” Vic asked.
“I’ll be fine. You go have fun.” I giggled at it concerns.

I watched them run towards the cool water. Tony turned around and gave me a heartbroken smile. I looked away from him and concentrated on some kids splashing around in the water. With nothing to do, I took out a book from my bag and started reading. Suddenly a shadow appeared.
“You don’t look like you’re from here.” A guy with a strong italian accent said.
“I’m not,” I said bluntly, not bothering to look up at him.
“Where are you from?”
“Not here.”
“Funny. I like it.”
I rolled my eyes. I seriously did not want to put up with this.
“So, what’s a girl like you doing here all alone?”
“I’m not.”
“Not what?”
“Alone.”
“I don’t see your friends, where are they?” He asked curiously.
“I see them.” I motioned in the direction of Jaime, Mike, Vic, and Tony.
“Hmm, why don’t you come with me, pretty lady.”
“I’d rather not.”
“No, you don’t understand.”
He tightly grabbed on to my wrist and pulled my arm, making me drop my book.

----

Tony’s POV

I looked back at where Noortje was sitting and saw her talking to some guy. Great. There goes my chance with her. She already moved on. I know I messed up, but I was hoping to fix it and be able to call her mine again. I would have done anything to fix it, even if it would take me as long as I live. But I guess I’ll never get a second chance. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t watch her talking to another guy. It was too much. I dove underwater and hoped to get the painful images out of my head.

I heard a muffled scream. A muffled scream that sounded like Jaime screamed out ‘Noortje’. What the fuck? Why is he screaming her name? Ugh. Whatever. She’s not my girlfriend anymore. I should stop being so paranoid. She’s fine.

I ran out of breath and came back to the surface. Mike, Vic and Jaime were no longer in the water with me. They were crowded around Noortje. Mike was holding down a guy and Jaime and Vic were blocking my view of Noortje. What was going on? I quickly ran out of the water and saw that the guy Mike was holding was the guy Noortje was talking to earlier. What happened? Is Noortje ok? I could finally see Noortje as well, but nobody could see me. Vic was holding her shoulders, trying to talk to her while Jaime was inspecting her wrist. I went a bit closer, hoping to see why they were doing that. I saw Noortje was crying and that her wrist was bruising.

Somebody fucking hurt her. Tears were threatening to spill and I ran away before anybody noticed I was standing there. I couldn’t see this. This was worse than seeing her talk to him.

Notes

Tony, you're getting it all wrong!


- DSN