The pact

The next dayJessie took me shopping. She came at 11 am to me house and introduced herself to my parents.
My mom liked Jessie, which was special, because my mom mostly didn’t like any of my friends. I think it was because Jessie was everything my mom wanted me to be: good at school, popular, normally dressed.
After that Jessie took me to the centre of the city where most of the shops were. San Diego had a big mall with multiple levels. I had never seen something like that before in England, even not in London. It didn’t even look like a mall anymore, it looked like a tropical resort or something.
Jessie walked on like it was the most normal thing in the world to her, while I was so overwhelmed. There were so many colours and people, my eyes couldn’t take all the new influences.
I bought new clothes, but I didn’t succeed at my goal of finding my own style. Most of the clothes I bought were pieces Jessie picked out for me. She was good at it, the things she picked out for me actually made my figure look really good. The clothes weren’t really my thing, but they were way better than the clothes my mom bought for me and I actually looked pretty in them, in my opinion at least.
Also, we actually had fun. Jessie was actually extremely funny and at the end of the day my stomach hurt because of all the laughter’s. I didn’t think I could have a good time with her, but I did and it made me feel less alone.
At 5 pm we sat in a coffee shop on the highest level of the mall and we looked over all the people under us that were walking from store to store.
'‘You should definitely wear that golden shirt to school on Monday'’ she said and she took a sip of her coffee.
I took the shirt she meant out of my bag and felt the material. It was soft and had light gold glitters on it. It wasn’t a shirt to stand out with but I was still a bit scared to wear it school. It was so different from the things I normally wore to school.
'‘Do you think?'’ I asked.
'‘Positive.'’ She said '‘It looked especially flattering with that amazing hat, I still don’t get why you didn’t buy it.’'
I laughed. An hour earlier she came into my fitting room while I was trying on the golden shirt. She had two cowboy hats in her in hands. We made weird pictures with those hats and after that we just started a game of whoever could find the weirdest clothes. At one moment I was wearing a tutu with rainbow leg warmers. It was awesome. I think I hadn't laughed that much in a long time.
''That hat would look amazing with everything, I already miss it.'' I said and she giggled.
My opinion of her had changed completely.

''Why don't you ever make friends with someone like Jessie.'' My mom said when I walked through the front door. ''She was so sweet and polite.''
''Oh, hello mother nice to see you too.'' I sat while I walked to the kitchen.
She followed me of course. ''I mean it Luna. I rather see you hang out with Jessie than with that Casey. Why did she even dye her hair blue?''
My heartbeat picked up. I had learned through the years not to get mad at my mom, but sometimes it just was so hard.
''Because she likes it mom, it doesn't make her a bad person.'' I said as contained as I could. I took a package of cookies out of one of the cabinets and unpacked it.
''I'm just afraid you will do it too honey.'' she said and she took the package out of my hands and put it back in the cabinet.
''So what mom?'' I said a little too loud. ''What does it matter? Are you afraid the artificial colours will pierce through my scull and get into my brain or something?'' I opened the cabinet and took the cookies out again. I wanted to walk out, but my mom stopped me by grabbing my wrists. ''Don't you ever act rude to me like that again.'' she said and she intensely looked me in the eyes. She gave me that look, that look that for some reason made me afraid to stand up against her. I looked to the ground. Tears burned behind my eyes. I wanted to stand up to her, for my friends. For Jaime and Casey, but my mom controlled me.
''Did you hear me, Luna?'' she said and I still didn't dear to look up.
''Yes mom.'' I whispered so soft only I could hear.
'I didn't hear you.' she held my wrist a little tighter and it hurt a little.
''Yes mom.'' I said and the tears started rolling down my cheek.
''Okay, Luna, You need to realise that you can't just act like this, it isn't right.'' and she let go of my wrist but still covered the door. ''Oh and you need to lay down the cookies, you're getting a little chubby.''
I put the package on the dinner table and walked out of the kitchen. When I reached the stairs I ran up them and fell on my bed. I put my face in my pillow and let out loud sobs that were muted by the pillow.
I hadn't cry like this in a long time, the fact that I really wanted to stand up for myself and my friends but couldn't do it made me feel extremely horrible.
I broke down completely, everything that I was holding in came out in loud wet sobs. I didn't keep track of the time while I was crying, but it felt like I was crying for hours when finally the tears stopped.
I got my face out of the pillow and sat with my back against the wall. I was back to being all numb again. It suddenly hit me how tired I was. I felt like I could sleep for days.
All the new influences that came from moving to the US and all the problems I was already dealing with just became too much for me.
The happy, upbeat girl that went shopping this morning was gone and it scared me how short my period of happiness remained.
Could I be depressed? No, I couldn't be. People with real problems, they are depressed, they have reasons to be. I'm just a whiny little bitch who can't handle a little bit of weight on her shoulders. Man up, Luna!

The next day I was home alone. My parents were going to church. I said to them I had too much homework to go along, but actually I just didn't feel like going.
I was planning on just reading all day when I heard the phone ring from downstairs. I ran of the stairs and took the phone that was on the living room table.
''Hello, you're speaking with the house of the Fall family, this is Luna Fall'' I said. I learned to say that when I was four. My parents found it rude to just say ''hello?''
''Jesus, Luna, you sound like some sort of personal assistant or something.'' I recognized Jaime's voice.
''Jaime!! Where have you been? You realized that I had to walk home all by myself for TWO days!'' I said.
''Glad to know you've been wondering how I'm doing.'' I could almost hear him roll his eyes. ''I had the floe, but I'm better now. It was horrible, I was like throwing up all the time and I had eaten a pizza so there were pieces of pepperoni in my throw up...''
''Ew, That's disgusting.'' I said Trying to keep my food down.
''I knew you would like that story.'' he chuckled. ''But I wanted to ask you, do you want to come over today? Me and Tony are going to Mike's house, but Mike also invited his girlfriend and Tony is bringing this old friend from Texas or something, so I will definitely be fifth wheeling if I go alone.''
''I don't know...'' I said. ''I want to, but I don't really know Mike and Tony and I'm kinda sure my parents won't approve...'' I bit my lip, I was scared to go, but I also really wanted to do something, I felt like I was drifting more in the numbness if I stayed at home.
''Aren't your parents at church today?'' he asked.
I raised an eyebrow. ''how exactly do you know that? That's kind of stalkerish Jaime...''
He busted out in laughter. ''It was more of a guess. You told me that they are really strict and it's Sunday so I sort of pictured them going to church.''
I laughed, yeah that kind of made sense. It made me happy that he had really listened to me and thought about these things.
''So are you coming? There is even some sort of party at the church today, so I don't think they will come home soon.'' He said.
I thought about my options and the consequences. I could stay at home and be miserable, but my parents wouldn't be mad at me. Or I could go, meet new people, have fun and forget about everything for a while, but my parents would be furious at me if they would notice...But I could leave note, I could write on it that I was at Jessie's. I think that could work, my mom doesn't have her or her mother's phone number, so there was no way she could check it. But she would be mad anyway because I wouldn't have told her this morning...
''Luna? Are you still there?'' I had forgotten that Jaime was still on the phone waiting for my answer.
''Yeah, I was just thinking.''
''Thinking is dangerous. Just do things.'' He said. For some reason those words really got to me. He was right. I thought things through too much. It was time for me to stop thinking and start doing.
''Okay, what the hell. Can you be here in five minutes?''
Exactly five minutes later I heard the doorbell going off. I opened the door to see a widely smiling Jaime. ''You ready?''
I nodded and we walked along. Mike's house was several streets away from my house. I didn't really say much walking towards it. I was so nervous, I thought I was going to explode. What if my mom found out? What if she'll get mad? She'll definitely get mad. What if Jaime's friends didn't like me? What if I embarrassed him or something?
I was nervously cracking my fingers and looking at the ground when we walked.
Jaime eventually noticed I wasn't paying attention to what I was saying. ''She won't find out, Luna. There's no way she could know that you're doing this.'' He said like he could read my mind.
I sighed and let my arms hang next to my body. ''I know, I'm still nervous. I never did anything like this. I never...'' I fell silent and looked to the ground.
''Broke the rules?'' He said and looked up. That was exactly what I meant. ''Of course that's scary at first. But it's a part of growing up. Not doing what our parents want us to make us into civilized beings who can make decisions for ourselves. Of course we will make mistakes, but that's also part of the learning process, a part of life.''
My mouth fell open. I never knew he was this smart. And he was right. I need to think for myself now and figure out what was wrong and what was right.
He laughed at my face. ''I'm not only handsome and funny, but I'm also incredibly smart and sensitive'' He said and grinned.
I laughed. ''Your words not mine.''
After I said that, we arrived at a white, normal sized house. It had a nice yard, the flowers were obviously taken care of and there was no weed. The only thing off beat was an old looking swing set, it looked like no one had been on it for a while.
''Where here'' Jaime said and he walked over to the front door. A few seconds after He knocked Mike appeared in the doorstep. ''Jaime, dude, your late.'' he said but he smiled and did some kind of hand shake with Jaime.
''Sorry man, Had to pick up Luna'' said Jaime and he pointed behind him, where I was standing.
Mike looked at me. ''Hey Luna. Nice to meet you.'' He said and came to me to give me a hug. I was surprised by this move, because normally I only hugged my parents and Casey and now I was hugging a complete stranger.
''Uhm, nice to meet you too.'' I said while he let me go. He didn't seem to notice my uncomfortableness.
''Well, Come in you two.'' He said and he patted Jaime on the back.
While we were walking in. I saw Mike whispering something to Jaime and he whispered something back. They laughed.
I didn't feel comfortable with the fact that they were whispering. were they talking about me?
When we came into Mike's room (which was covered in posters of bands I had never heard of) Tony stood up from the Black couch that was placed against the wall to also give me a hug. ''Hey, Luna what's up?'' he said. ''You are a fucking legend, man. What you did in English class was unforgettable.'' and he shook his head.
''Uhm, thank you I guess'' I said and Tony shot me a wink.
After that Mike introduced me to his girlfriend, Leila. She was two years older than him and had a nose ring and pink hair. She smiled at me and also gave me a hug.
The friend of Tony was called David and yeah, he also hugged me. I had been hugged more on this day than I normally did in a month. I didn't not like it though, I was uncomfortable with it, but it was okay somehow.
The conversation went really fast to music. After a little while Jaime told the rest that I had never listened to rock music before and I blushed. They all acted shocked and told me they were give me a 'music education' or something. Mike walked to the radio and put a CD in it. Within a second the sounds of guitar filled the room. I jumped scared because I wasn't expecting this much sound. They laughed at me and I blushed again. They started dancing, head banging and singing along and the more songs I heard, the more I got used to it. I listened to the lyrics and like Jaime told me, they were about important things. The words were almost like poetry.
The rest of the day was really nice. For some reason they seemed scary at first, but they weren't at all. They were really outgoing, but not in a way that was intimidating. They involved me in the conversation, it made me feel like I was part of the group.
Tony was a really sweet guy, he had very different opinions than everyone I've ever met and they interested me.
Mike was loud and outgoing, but he was obviously trying to make everyone feel involved and at ease. Whenever I was drifting of in my shy mood, he involved me in the conversation and I was really happy he did that.
After a few hours my stomach hurt from the laughing and my lips were dry of the talking. I never felt more part of a group than I was now and I was so happy I went.
''I need to use the bathroom. Where is it?'' I asked.
''Are you going to wash the chips out of your hair?'' Tony asked and he grinned at me.
I gave him an angry look. For some reason he thought it was funny to throw a back of crisps over my head...Okay, it was kind of funny, actually.
He laughed when he saw my face. ''Come on, it was hilarious.'' he said.
I smiled at him. ''Okay, maybe a little bit. A tiny bit.'' And I put my index finger to my thumb to show how tiny.
''The bathroom is in the next room.'' Mike said grinning and I walked out of the room into the hall. There were two rooms next to Mike's room: one to the left and one to the right.
I opened the right door. Wrong door.
I only realised I had opened Victors room when I saw him sitting at a writing desk. He looked around and gave me a surprised look when he saw me.

Notes

hey guys! this one is a little longer than the rest....but it took me a while because I couldn't figure out what to write :')

Should I make longer chapters? let me know!!

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thank you guys for reading! it means a lot to me!

xxx Nicky