The pact

Vic’s POV
I fell to the ground. I could barely keep my head from hitting the ground. I heard footsteps come close to me and I looked up to Mike holding his hand out to me. “Are you okay, man?” he said.
I was a bit taken back by him suddenly standing up for me, but I was happy it happened. I smiled at him and took his hand. “Yeah I’m alright.” I said while I stood up.
Mike walked over to Jaime and Tony and I followed him. “We need to get away from here, dude.” Jaime said a bit frightened. “Ryan looks like he wants to come our way.”
I looked around and realised I shouldn’t have done that. I looked straight into the furious eyes of Ryan. I actually feared for my life now.
Mike made a ‘follow me’ gesture and led us the way out of the crowd. All the people were still staring at us, but they backed up when we tried to go through. Some even smiled at me.
In a hall to our right Mike stopped in front of an English classroom. He took out a little key out of his pocket and put it inside the lock of the door.
I looked at him confused and he grinned. “I stole Mr. Brown’s spare key.”
“Of course.” I said, thinking about why he would need a key to the English classroom.
The door opened and we got in. Mike walked to the front row of tables and sat down on one, his feet on the seat. Jaime and Tony did the same thing, sitting next to him. I sat down on a table across of them, still not entirely used to the fact that Mike talked to me again. I mean I guess he is going to now.
“so…” Mike said, trying to fill the awkward silence.
“So…” I said back.
The silenced went on again and I had the feeling there was a certain question on the tip of their tongue, but they were too afraid to ask it. I hoped they didn’t, because I didn’t really wanted to talk about it. The only person I had ever talked to about it was Luna.
Luna. My heart ached just by thinking about her. The things Ryan said about her. They were true. I don’t know why I ever let myself think that she actually liked me that way. Because she went to prom with me? She had no one else to go with. Because we spent a lot of time together lately? She had just no one else to hang out with. She was way out of my league.
I snapped back from my thought when Tony started talking. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? He pushed you really hard.”
I shook my head. “no, I’m not hurt. It could’ve been real worse if Mike hadn’t shown up though.” I looked over to Mike. “That was real stupid of you, but thanks anyway.”
Mike shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “I can take him. And I couldn’t just let him beat you up. I’m not a total asshole.”
“You’re only a tiny asshole.” Jaime said grinning.
“Thank you, Jaime.” Mike said rolling his eyes at him.
“There’s just one thing I want to know.” Mike said as he looked at me again. “Who did that to you?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Who did what to me?”
“The cuts on your arm! Was it Ryan or one of his minions?” Mike said.
I couldn’t blame him for not knowing what self-harm was. It was only the year 2001 and it wasn’t that much of a public thing yet. It would get a lot harder for me to explain to him why I did it though. I knew, that now he asked, I couldn’t lie myself out of it anymore. Definitely judging the expression on Jaime’s face who looked at Mike like he was going crazy. He definitely knew what it was.
I shook my head. “It wasn’t them.”
“so who was it?” Mike asked a bit annoyed.
I looked down at my feet for a moment. “I did.”
A silence fell. I could’ve cut the tension with a knife.
“What?” he said eventually. “But that doesn’t make sense. Why would you cut yourself?”
I kept looking at my feet trying to find the words to explain to someone who didn’t know the first thing about self-harm, why I would do that. It needed a lot of deep emotions to be brought out and I wasn’t sure if I wanted that.
“It’s called self-harm, Mike. It’s an actual thing.” I said.
He remained silent for a moment, probably waiting for me to explain, but I didn’t. “It is? But why would you do it?”
I looked up to him to see that he genuinely seemed confused. “At first it was for attention, so people would offer me help. So I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Later it became something I couldn’t stop doing.”
“Why? I mean it hurts right?”
“Yeah it does.” I said. How could I explain something I didn’t understand myself? “I think it’s just that. The pain makes you forget about everything else. I honestly don’t know why I do it, but sometimes I just crave it.”
“but you can die…”
“I know…” I said. I thought about the time I resorted to cutting vertically. I still don’t know if I actually hoped to die, but they weren’t deep enough anyway. I ended up with a lot of blood and a nasty infection. The cuts themselves weren’t really deep, but one of them was infected and because of that it scarred. It was like karma was laughing in my face for trying to end my life. Now I had to live with that scar reminding me of that event.
“It’s not that weird that you crave it, Vic.” Jaime said. I looked up to him. His face was calm, I had never seen him like that. “I had a friend on a summer vacation in Mexico once and he used to do it too. He told me that it is actually an addiction on the same level as drugs. It’s because your body provides some sort of chemical when you are in pain. It’s scientifically proven.”
This statement got me taken back. All this time I thought I was just weak because I couldn’t stop. Now I knew that I was addicted. For some reason I was happy that I knew that. It lifted certain questions off of my shoulders.
“I still don’t really understand, but I’m here for you.” Mike said. “I’m sorry for everything.”
Mike saying sorry? Wow, he must’ve really meant it. “It’s okay, I’m sorry too.”
“I’ll forgive you.” He said shrugging. “Friends?”
I smiled. That word still made me happy even though I had friends again. It was because I’ve been on my own for so long. Because of that I appreciate the people around me more. “Friends and brothers.” I said still smiling.
“Well it wasn’t like I could unbrother you or something. So I guess you’ve always kind of been my brother. Whether I wanted to or not.”
I chuckled. “True, but you know what I mean.”
We talked for an hour or something about what had happened and I honestly felt better. I had the feeling Jaime, Tony and Mike actually cared about what I was saying. I felt appreciated.
Then Luna suddenly appeared on the doorstep. She had a confused expression on her face.
“Hey where have you been the past hour?” Jaime asked. She looked like she didn’t have a clue about what happened. I was happy so, I didn’t want to her to hear it from anyone else than us. They would just change the story.
“I had to stay a little while longer in Spanish class.” She said slowly and still a bit confused. “What happened?”
Tony let out a sigh. “Ryan decided that the pact should be broken, because you had already broken it. He started saying all these things to Vic and I’m pretty sure he was about to beat him up, but then Mike got mixed up in it and started an argument with Ryan and now were here.” He shrugged.
I saw her expression go from shocked to angry then to shocked again. “Wait…Mike, you stood up for him?” she asked. “Your stubborn disease got cured or something?”
I chuckled silently. I was still a little bit shocked too that he actually did that.
Mike tried to look at me annoyed but then started laughing. “Yeah, I guess so.” He shrugged and his face turned serious again. “You should’ve seen it, Luna. I think no one could be that stubborn.” He turned to me. “Why didn’t you stand up for yourself?”
I tried to stare at a point where I didn’t have to look at any of them. “I’m known at this school as the kid that punched him in the hospital. The last few weeks that reputation has faded a little. I don’t want it back again.”
Then Luna walked over to me, sat down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t help but smile at her. She could make me feel better just by touching me.
I heard the guys chuckling across from me and Luna turned around to face them. “What?”
I knew exactly where they were thinking. They knew now that I liked her as more than friends and they thought that this was a sign from her that she liked me. But I knew she didn’t, she was just like that when someone felt down. She wanted to genuinely help people.
“Nothing” Mike said and he waved it away smiling.
She let down her hand again.
“Where those things true?” Tony asked, looking at me. “The things Ryan said about you?”
I shrugged. “He has said a lot of things.”
“What kind of things?” Luna asked me and she sounded concerned. I didn’t really wanted her to know, because I was afraid she would worry about me. I shrugged and looked away.
Eventually Mike spoke up. “Well he started off by telling him that he needed a new punishment, because the ignoring didn’t hurt him as much anymore, because you don’t ignore him anymore.”
“It broke the isolation” she stated.
“Yeah” Mike continued. “then he stated that Vic thinks he deserves what happened to him, and agrees with Ryan about that he deserves a punishment.”
“You don’t think that anymore right?” she said and I know she was talking to me again.
I looked away from the window to look at her again. The concerned look was still evident on her face. “No, but at that moment it was really hard not to, because he was practically getting inside my mind.” To be honest, there was still a part of me that thought I deserved what happened to me, I just didn’t wanted them to know.
She nodded at me and shot me reassuring smile. “And then?” she asked Mike.
“Uhm” Mike said and he looked really uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I should tell you…” He looked from Luna to me and then back to Luna. I suddenly remembered that he was talking about the part Ryan started talking about me being in love with her and I prayed to god that he would shut about it.
She raised an eyebrow. “Why not? Was it about me?”
Mike nodded. She looked over to me and I tried my hardest to not turn red, but I couldn’t help it.
“Tell me Mike. I want to know.” she said. “whatever Ryan said about me, I think I can handle it.” There was a demanding sound in her voice and I knew Mike would give in.
An uncomfortable smile grew on Mike’s face. “Well, Ryan kind of stated that Vic has a crush on you. Don’t know if it’s true, but that’s what Ryan said. And then he kinda said that you were out of his league and would never love him.”
Thank you Mike. So much for keeping secrets. Although, I had never really told him that it was true and that it was a secret.
I looked over to Luna and she looked really shocked. I was happy that she didn’t look disgusted or angry. It meant that we could maybe remain friends when she knew. Like Jaime and her.
“Oh” she just said and she turned to me. I noticed that she was blushing “Is that true?” she asked.
Maybe it was the fact that I knew she wasn’t going to leave me if I admitted it that gave me the courage to let out the breath I was holding in and nod. I immediately regretted it. Maybe it wasn’t going to be the same after this…
A short silence fell until Luna stood up and said: “I gotta go. I promised to call Casey when I got home. She’s probably wondering why I haven’t called yet.”
Great. She was making up excuses to get away from me. Maybe she really was disgusted by me. Which wouldn’t be fair, she also remained friends with Jaime.
I looked up to her and he send her a smile, trying to make sure she didn’t know my heart was breaking inside. “I see you later” I said.
“Yeah bye” She said and she looked briefly at all of us. Then she walked over to the door. For a moment I thought she was really going to leave, but she stood still in the doorpost. She seemed to think something over. What was happening?
“Oh well fuck it.” She said suddenly. It sounded like she wasn’t supposed to say that out loud. She started walking towards me. She didn’t give me any time to wonder what she was up to as she stopped in front of me, grabbed my face inside her hands and pushed her lips on mine.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it left me craving for more. Like the first one did. As she pulled away I looked inside her eyes I realised that this was her way of telling me that she felt the same way. I pushed away the thoughts in my head that said that she did it just because she felt bad for me.
She really liked me too. I couldn’t believe it. I can’t really describe what it felt like, but I’m pretty sure I had never been more happy in my life.
I smiled at her and she smiled back at me, letting go of my face. “Okay, see you later.” She said and she ran out of the room.
I didn’t even notice the looks of the boys as I looked at her leaving the room, her long brown her swinging to sides.

Luna’s POV
“YOU DID WHAT?” Casey screamed to me from the other side of the phone. I had just told her that I had kissed Vic. I just needed to talk about it with someone. I just couldn’t get my mind of it. The adrenaline was still rushing through my body from it.
“Yeah, I kissed him.” I said and I giggled. It was still kind of a shock for me too. I never did things like this.
“Wow, I never thought you would actually do that. I always kind of thought he would be the first to kiss you.”
“well he did. But why would you think that?” I asked confused.
“WHAT? TELL ME!”
I laughed from her enthusiasm and the way she dogged the question. Casey had a way of avoiding a subject when she didn’t want to talk about. It worked for everyone else, but not for me.
I told her the story about the panic attack. I left out the part about my mom though. Casey would be the type of person to either call the police or fly to America and beat my mom to death.
“Wow! That’s actually quite romantic! Why did I never think about that whenever you had a panic attack! Then I would have an excuse to kiss you.” She said.
I laughed. She was such a weirdo sometimes. I loved her for it though. “Yeah it was quite something. But Casey, why did you think he would kiss me first?” There was no way she could deny the question now.
I heard her grinning. “Ask Vic about the letter. Tell him he can let you read it now.”
My mind went to the letter she had asked me to give to Vic just before she had left to England again. Why was she always being so mysterious?
“Casey, you can also just tell me.”
“Yes I can, but I won’t. It’s way more fun this way.”
I rolled my eyes. I looked at the clock and saw that we were already talking for a half hour. I had to hang up, otherwise my mom would get a huge bill and I didn’t want to give her another excuse to hurt me.
“I’m gonna go, Case.” I said disappointed. I wanted to keep talking to her. “We’re already talking for half an hour.”
“only half an hour? Normally we talk for like two hours. Why do you suddenly give a crap about the phone bill?” she said, sounding confused.
“It’s nothing, C. I just need to go.” And I hung up before Casey could ask about it. She was the only person who could easily look through me and I knew she knew something was up.
I wanted to tell her, I really wanted to. I just couldn’t. Something was blocking it.
Besides, she was already having enough trouble. I didn’t want to burden her.
I let myself fall on the bed. I was really curious about the letter though. What would it say?
I promised myself I would ask Vic tomorrow. We would meet up for my birthday anyway.
A feeling of happiness washed over me as I thought about tomorrow. What was going to happen? Would we become like boyfriend and girlfriend?
The fact that I wanted that to happen surprised me. Normally the thought of a relationship had scared me, now I felt no fear.
It was a weird thing, love.

Notes

heyyyy guyss,

YASSSS FINALLY AN EXCUSE TO USE A SLEEPING WITH SIRENS SONG AS A CHAPTER TITLE. SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.

okay so I heard that you guys really wanted me to update, so I rushed my ass to the computer and wrote until my fingers came off. I'm that dedictated to you guys. Now I have no fingers anymore. (jk there all still there.)

Soooo yay guys! my Mike story is up now! it's gonna be a short one, but please check it out! click here. so yeah, I think I will start writing my Jaime and Tony story as soon as the pact is finished. Which won't take long! only a few chapters left!

xxxxx

Nicky