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I Promise You, Someday

Wash Away All The Pain That I Face

*Max's POV*

As I made my way back to the bus I couldn't help but think about everything that's happened the last few years, I got engaged, I had a child, I broke the engagement off, I got re-engaged, I fell pregnant, I got married, I had a miscarriage, I can also say that I have officially traveled the world and I have had the time of my life doing it, but now I don't want to be here, I don't belong here, I couldn't live with the pain of losing a child, call me a coward but I couldn't stand to be here another minute, I know what I had to do, what I was going to do. I ran over to the bus, wiping the tears from my face and unlocking the bus door, I walked in and closed it behind me and ran into the bunks, I checked my phone, it was 7:43pm, the boys wouldn't be back for at least an hour and a half, which gave me enough time, I packed all of my clothes and belongings up and got changed into a nice dress and heels I then left my suitcase just outside of the curtain to the bunks. I then ran through to the kitchen, raking through the first aid cupboard I found a box of co-codamil and Jack Daniels whiskey, Mike must have been hiding it, probably from me? I took the pills and whiskey and walked through to the bathroom, taking all my make up off and tying my hair up in a bun, I stared at my reflection, I couldn't believe this is what it has come to, I saw my razor on the sink, I quickly threw it on the floor, put a towel over it and stomped on it, pushing the plastic to the side and picking out the blade, I sat on the floor and slowly dragged the blade across my skin making 5 deep cuts, as I let the blood flow I took the co-codamil and swallowed 38 of them, I then took 24 of my miscarriage tablets, I took a massive gulp of the JD, enjoying the burning sensation as it went down my throat, after 20 more minutes of drinking and taking more pills I felt numb and eventually very weak, I couldn't move and I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness, I was brought out of deep thought when my phone started buzzing, I looked at it, Tony was calling me, I ignored him the first right up to the tenth time he called, as I was gradually becoming more and more unconscious I heard voices, fuck, I really hope they didn't find me, "Where is she?" Jaime asked, confused, "Look her suitcase!" Mike said rushing over to the curtain, I could see him through the crack in the door, "If her suitcase is here wher- TONY!" Mike shouted, rushing into the toilet with Tony closely behind, "Max!!" Mike cried out, I saw the look of horror on Tony's face as Mike carried me past him and on to the couch, "Someone phone the ambulance!" Tony shouted as he came over to me, holding my numb hand, "Max don't do this, don't die on me, please don't fucking die on me baby!" Tony shouted as my eyes began to close, "Tony" I said but it was no more than a whisper, he looked at me hopeful, "The kitchen table" I said, he looked behind him at the note laying on the table, Mike ran over and got it, "I love you all so much, but please, just let me die, I just want to die" I cried before going unconscious, the last thing I heard was Tony screaming my name and ambulance sirens.


*Tony's POV*

"I love you all so much, be please, just let me die, I just want to die" Max said before completely blanking out and becoming unconscious, "MAX!" I shouted as I heard the ambulance in the distance, "Tony" Mike said, I turned and looked at him, he was in tears, I looked back at Max who was half smiling, I checked her pulse and it was still beating but faintly, very faintly, eventually the paramedics arrived and rushed her to hospital, they weren't allowing anyone to go with her, so we all waited at the tour bus for news, everyone was sitting in silence just praying for Max, I couldn't quite process what was going on, my attention kept being drawn to the folded white piece of paper on the kitchen table, I finally managed to push myself up and went over to read it, I flipped it open,

"Family and Friends,
I'm sorry that it came to this. The pain was too much to handle, I couldn't fight anymore and pretend that everything was okay when it's not, I love everyone with my body, heart and soul to death, please don't forget that.

Tony: I love you so fucking much, please don't let this make you give up, you have such a big and bright future, when I agreed to marry you I thought this was it, this was the end of my pain but unfortunately not, don't blame yourself for this, it wasn't you, it was me. Cliche, I know, you made me the happiest person in the world when I was with you and couldn't wait to spend our lives together, I'm sorry that was cut short, you were my rock and my world, I love you! And don't worry, I'll make sure god keeps you a space in heaven.

Mike, Vic, Jaime, Danielle, Katelynne, Kellin and Tay: You were the best friends anyone could ever ask for, I want you all to know, you meant everything to me, please don't dwell on me, make the best of it, celebrate my life, not my death. Look after my little princess, I love you all.

Zach: I'm sorry I left you like Mom and Dad but I couldn't handle the pain anymore, you were the best big brother and best friend and Dad anyone could ever ask for, please don't forget that, and don't forget me, I love you Zach.

Alexis: I love you so much baby girl, I'm sorry that you had to lose your mommy so young, I know how it feels, but you'll cope everyone is going to look after you and mommy will be watching you from heaven and sending down angels to guide your way, stay strong sweetie."

And that was it, she was finished, how could she leave us like this? I was brought out of my thoughts when my phone started ringing, it was the nearest hospital, "Hello?" I answered, "Hello Mr Perry, would you and your friends like to come in now?" The doctor on the other line asked I nodded and clicked my fingers at everyone to get ready, "Yes please, we'll be there right away" I said before hanging up and running to the car, I jumped in as did everyone else and we started speeding down to the hospital, "Tony slow down you're going to crash!" Vic warned as I was doing 70 down the motorway, I didn't care I wanted to see Max, i wanted to see my wife. Eventually we reached the hospital, we were greeted by a doctor, probably in his late 40's/early 50's? "Mr Perry?" He asked, I nodded, he smiled warmly and walked us in to a small white room with five chairs and a desk, on one side there were four chair and on the other side one, he sat in the chair and pointed for us to sit in the opposite chairs, we did as we were told, "Okay, Mrs Max Perry, am I right?" He asked, I nodded, bouncing my legs up and down anxiously, "Okay well Mrs Perry took an exceeding amount of pills and alcohol, she also lost a lot of blood, so it is with my deepest condolences that I inform you she succeeded in her own suicide." He said, with sympathetic look, I shook my head, "No, no you're lying, you're lying!" I shouted standing up, I felt a pair of arms wrap me, they were Mike's, "I'm sorry buddy, she's gone" Mike said with tears in his eyes, I shook my head, "No!! Maaaxx!" I cried as I slid down and sat on the floor, I pulled my knees to my chest and started to rock as I wept silently, "Thank you doctor" Vic said shaking his hand, Mike walked over to me and picked me up, "Come on, Tone, let's get going~" he said, Mike and Jaime both walked me to my car and Vic drove us back to the tour bus. After sitting in silence for a couple of hours, I Jaime finally spoke up, "Who's going to tell the fans?" He asked, I looked at him, "I will" I said nodding, Vic and Mike shot me a look, "She was my wife, I'll tell them" I said, they nodded, I took my phone out and started writing a facebook status my idea was to then screenshot the status, put it on Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr.

Notes

This was the worst chapter I've ever wrote, I can't even tell you how many times I cried writing this?

Comments

You really made it your goal to hurt my heart in the end of the story

@traceytrace_

That was kinda my thing so don't worry we can be band trash together and aww thank you!!

Lauren Lauren
10/28/15

ok maybe it's just me but every time Andy shows up all i can picture is andy biersack hahaha and then wasn't the paramedic named Craig? somebody was named craig and it made me think craig mabbitt. maybe it's just cuz i'm absolute band member trash or maybe it's because i binge read this story until 2-3 am every night

traceytrace_ traceytrace_
10/28/15

@Sierra

Aww haha thank you

Lauren Lauren
10/10/15

This is really good. I can't deal with all the feels :'(

Sierra Sierra
10/8/15