Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

You'd Better Hide the Bullets

Self Medicate

It took three days for me to break down. Just three days. I basically ran to Patrick's house and cried on his porch for about an hour before he could convince me to go inside. His mom was worried too, she's never seen me even remotely vulnerable let alone completely losing it. Then I spilled everything. The kisses, the drunken conversations, doubts about Alex and the notebook. Everything. He was surprised that I kept it quiet for so long, but not shocked that I'm in love with Vic at all.

As for Alex, I've avoided him at all costs and he's beginning to realise that there is something wrong. I just can't face breaking his heart right now. I can't grow up enough to just deal with it.

Tonight was New Year's Eve and Pete's party was going to either be one I will never remember or a horrible memory of something stupid. Either way, I'm ready for it.

Amber came to my house to get dressed with me and then we headed to Pete's house for a small pre party before people began arriving. It was just us 5, sitting in Pete's living room drinking beers and talking about the holidays. I was wearing a bright red skin tight dress with long sleeves and it stopped around my mid thighs. I also had red matching high heels on too, which will probably be the death of me because I can't wear heels to save myself.

"Okay guys we are gonna get shots down us before people arrive and realise we aren't even half drunk yet!" I bounced to my feet and marching towards the kitchen. I grabbed the shot glasses that were piled in the corner and set out ten, pouring Sambuca into the shot glasses. Everyone followed me into the kitchen and watched as I done this.

"Here goes." Pete said grabbing two, everyone else followed suit and we took the shots as quickly as possible. Pretty much all of our faces screwed up at the taste of the bitter liquor, which made me laugh.

"Is Ali coming tonight?" Lewis asked me.

"Yeah, strangely. She got invited to like five parties from people at college." I pointed out. "But she declined them all to come to this one and I can't quite work out why." I shrugged.

"Cause Vic is coming to this one?" Amber asked. I nodded, that probably is the reason why.

"I also don't really understand why Vic wants to come to this party, isn't he meant to hate us?" Lewis scratched his head.

Well..." I said looking at Patrick, he gave me a look as if to say 'are you sure you want to tell them?' So I nodded. "He doesn't actually hate you guys." I confessed.

"How do you know?" Pete raised an eyebrow.

"Well, on Christmas Day there was a present for me, turned out to be Vic's journal and he wrote about nearly every encounter he's ever had with me and also about how he feels awful for what he's done to you guys and how he wishes he could take it back." I explained to them.

"Wait, so Vic gave you his journal?" Pete squinted his eyes at me. "Why?" He did the famous Pete grin.

"It wasn't him, he didn't do it." I felt kinda dumb saying it, but that's what Vic told me.

"How do you know it was his then?" Lewis questioned me. This maybe wasn't a great idea.

"Because I gave him it back and he freaked out a little. I also kinda wrote a letter in reaction to the stuff he wrote about me and he got really angry." I said feeling slightly awkward.

"What did you write?" Amber asked me, she had a gentle tone and looked like she was just genuinely interested.

"I told him that I wasn't ready to be with him." I sighed.

"Wait so Vic likes you? Finally he admits it." Pete laughed. "Do you like him back." He looked at me.

"I don't know anymore, we haven't spoken since that day and like things are extremely awkward." I sighed.

"So if Vic didn't put the notebook on your porch, who did?" Patrick spoke up. We all looked at him and nodded, it was a mystery. One that has plagued my mind for days but I can't come to a conclusion.

"I have no idea." I said as I poured another five shots out for us.

"Well let's drink to that, let's drink to the fact that we are going into a new year with people we love." Patrick smiled at me and took a shot into his hand. We all copied his actions and then downed the shot, laughing again at the reactions.

The funny thing about this party was that Pete actually does have a lot of friends. Turns out he's really fucking popular in the underground music scene, who would've known huh. His parents didn't mind him having a party at all as long as we tidied up, didn't get the cops called on us and made sure everyone got home safely. They even left us money for booze and pizza, what lovely people they are.

After an hour of waiting, people began arriving and the party was in full swing. Me? I was wasted by the time Mike, Vic, Tony, Jaime and my sister arrived. By the time Alex arrived I was nearly passed out on the couch.

Alex wouldn't stop trying to feed me water, he kept rambling about how I needed to sober up or I'd make myself ill. He wasn't wrong but I just didn't wanna be told what to do. "Scarlett please just have some water." He said as loudly as he could without straining his voice but loud enough to avoid being drowned out by the music.

"No, I don't want to sober up." I told him. He looked hurt that I wouldn't listen to him, that I wouldn't just take his advice. It's nothing to do with him, I know he's just trying to care for me but I don't want it, I can take care of myself.

I glanced over towards Vic and my sister, he was looking at me and Alex as we argued. When he realised I was looking he looked away as quickly as possible. "Fine, whatever. Hey I'm just gonna go and get as wasted as you are." He stormed off and left me sitting on the couch, feeling super dizzy and sick.

I just needed to feel weightless, and finally I was beginning to feel it.

-

"It's 5 minutes to midnight, why are you being so awkward with me?" Alex groaned as I was too drunk to understand pretty much anything he was saying.

"Alex stop being a baby." I told him and staggered into the kitchen to find more booze. It was strangely quiet in the kitchen, no one was there at all.

I grabbed a bottle of vodka and noticed there was only about 2 shots worth left in the bottle. So I opened it and then downed the alcohol as quickly as possible. The liquor burned my throat as it slid down but it was just another reminder that I was still alive. And that really is something to celebrate.

I heard someone stumble into the kitchen and it gave me a fright. I turned to see Vic as he tripped over his own feet, he tried to cover it up and pass it off as nothing but I saw and it made me laugh. He looked at me and his face broke out into a huge grin. "Don't laugh at me." He groaned like a kid. It only made me laugh more, my drunken state was just making everything much more funny.

"I can't stop laughing." I told him, holding onto my sides as I giggled away. He glided over to me and grabbed the vodka out of my hand.

"Did you drink all over this?" He asked suddenly turning serious.

"A little bit." I laughed childishly.

"That's not good, you'll make yourself sick." He sounded really concerned which just reminded me of Alex.

"Everyone keeps saying that, look at me. I'm fine." I said grabbing a can of beer off the counter. I opened it and demolished it in like three gulps.

Vic stood there with a strange look on his face. "Please stop, I don't wanna see you ill." He told me with a sad look on his face.

"Fine, I'll stop." I rolled my eyes.

"Guys it's 30 seconds until New Year!" I heard Pete scream from the living room, the music shut off and everyone began counting down drunkenly.

Vic stood in front of me. Staring down at me. "Vic?" I said softly.

"10...9...8." I heard from the living room.

"Yes?" Vic replied.

"5...4...3." The counting got closer.

"Kiss me at midnight." My mouth said before I could even think.

"2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Cheers and screams filled the house. Vic didn't hesitate to do what I asked me to do. Our lips were glued together, frantically moving in sync. He pushed me up against the counter behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I ran my hands up his chest and then settled them around his neck, pulling him closer, feeling completely content that he was pressed up against me. I wanted him so much, every inch of him.

"Scarlett...?" I tore my lips from Vic's and looked towards the voice. Alex stood with the most pained look on his face, I could literally hear his heart breaking. Beside him stood my sister, the same look plastered on her face. Fuck. What a great start to the new year.

Notes

So who do you all think put the notebook on the porch? What's gonna happen with Alex and Scarlett? Ahhh

Comments

Totally in love with this, read it twice!!

Amazing story! Props to you!

@freedom_writer
I'm so glad, remember to read the sequel!!!

Colourfultears Colourfultears
8/13/15

i have finished and omfg ive never loved a fanfic so much.....

freedom_writer freedom_writer
8/13/15

@Colourfultears
so far im obsessed with it im only on chapter 39 but i hope to finish tonight.....or around 3am XD

freedom_writer freedom_writer
8/13/15