Give Me Therapy
"You're going to be okay." Brendon has repeated that same sentence for the past thirty minutes. Currently, I was drying my hair that I washed. I was half naked and Brendon was slowly buttoning his flannel up.
I grabbed the engagment ring and slid it onto my finger with a smile. "I see that." Brendon grins seeing my small smile. "It's how you make me feel." All morning I had been quietly murmuring things even jokes.
Brendon understood knowing today was the breakthrough therapy session where it will all spill. Hopefully after a few more sessions of just talking it through with Agnes then I'm set free. Maybe just maybe I can get this weight off my back.
Then we'll have our child and get married in peace. But then there's Tony. This could be the one thing that ruins my peace. I can end it. I will do what I can to be happy and peaceful for once in my life.
I'm sick of my entire life being revolved around my problems and depression. I'm sick of Brendon having to be careful when the right time to hold my hand will be. I'm sick of jumping when he tries to kiss my neck in surprise.
We took a cab down to the building and Brendon walked into the building with me his hand in mine. Agnes waiting and greeted Brendon. Brendon gave me a long kiss and sat down in a chair. Agnes led me in and I sat on the chair. After a long moment of silence she spoke.
"What happened after."
"Well, Kellin and I fought over the phone. It went on for hours. When I woke up the next morning, I realized everything that had ever belonged to Kellin was gone. He had paid someone to pack up for him. It was official. He said we were gonna take a break but I didn't think it'd be that official. I tried calling him but his number had been disconnected." I explain already choking up.
"So basically he said you were going on a break. Not a breakup?" Agnes raises an eyebrow. "He said only for a couple weeks. Then when he finally came back for the tour's break, we'd talk it out and figure shit out. But apparently he changed his mind over night." I sigh.
"How do you know for sure it was official." Agnes ponders aloud. "He never came back or contacted me. I found pictures of him holding hands with the same brunette as if they were together. He looked a lot happier." I sigh again. Agnes remained silent.
"Tell me what happened the day you tried to commit suicide."
Brendon was long gone into the studio and has been for days. He called frequently checking up on me and reminding me he'd be home soon. He just needed to find the right sound for this song so he could finally rest.
He hasnt called today so I decided to wait around. I found a link for a Sleeping With Sirens interview so I clicked on it to support him and see how he's doing.
"How are you guys?! How's things going? How's the tour?"
Kellin leaned forward and smiled, "Tours been amazing. my daughter and wife actually came yesterday and my little girl loved it so much." I thought Kellin didn't want kids. Simple questions were asked until my name was mentioned.
"So, there are rumors you had a thing with Maggie Brooks?" He wiggles his eyebrows.
"Uh yeah. That kind of defines regret right there." Kellin chuckles nervously.
"You know she's famous now and idolized by many fans? Very popular and everyone loves her. Beautiful lady."
"I actually did not think she would make it this far honestly. I didn't know she was famous or making music. Um, never really believed she'd do it. But good for her."
i immediately shut it off and wrapped my arms around myself. He regrets me. He never thought I'd make it. It was all too much. The man I fell head over heels in love with for my teenage years never believed in me at all. Ever. Not even when he loved me for real.
I couldnt handle it. I felt sick. I found myself in the bathroom. I found myself tying a noose. And I found myself slowly slipping away.
"Brendon saved me." I whisper.
"Okay, thank you for getting through that. I ordered a surprise for you but I'm sure it won't be here until our next session. I'll see you next week where we'll be talking it out." Agnes nods before leading me out. Brendon stood and waved off to them before walking me out.
"You're okay." He whispers once we get outside. I slowly slid down onto my butt on the cold gravel. "You're okay." He chokes up seeing me burst into tears. Wet tears slowly welled up in his eyes and I grabbed his wrists. "Jesus, see what you've done. You're such a jerk." Brendon whimpers wiping his eyes.
He hated crying in front of me. He felt like I was silently mocking him. But this is only the second time he's cried in front of me. "You don't understand how much I went through that day. Waiting in that room as they tried to revive you. Thinking the worst of things. Chewing my nails to the bone. Never getting an update until you were finally awake."
Brendon choked up and closed his eyes. "I thought you had officially left me." Tears fell down his cheeks and I grabbed his face before wiping his eyes with my thumbs. I cried along with him and he kissed my tears away before pressing a small kiss to my forehead.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow this shit with Tony ends.
Ahhhh!! I love writing for this story because I find it interesting to me lol but it doesn't get too much recognition so comment? It's dead down there but thanks to everyone who does comment :))
only a few more chapters left and I might just move to wattpad so FOLLOW MY WATTPAD OR MAKE ONE TO FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT TO READ MORE AND NEW STORIES FOR YOUUU
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would you read any of those lol half aren't even PTV