Stay;

I slept for a while before waking up to the sent of Vic’s aftershave, a warm musky sent. I had my face buried into his chest and his arm supporting my neck. He was awake but I couldn’t tell if he knew I was. I could feel his fingers trace the nape of my neck, while his other hand was placed at my waist. My hands were awkwardly bunched up around him. I brought one of my hands towards his chest and placed it lightly on him, I could feel his chest push out against my palm. I could feel the faint beat of his heart rush through my fingertips, it was up beat and fast like one of his songs. I tried to remember what happened the night before. I was sobbing, uncontrollably. He was holding me brushing my hair out of my tears. I can’t even remember what I was sad about. That was good, Vic was always able to do that to me. Make me forget everything bad. Like he takes it all away and buries it. No matter how cute this scene may sound, we’re not together and that tears me up inside. He has a girl, one he loves more than me. He buys her jewels and everything. But theres always been something that he had with me. Something I could see but he couldn’t,

It was more than trust, more than anything he could ever have with any girl.

“I know you’re awake” He whispered. A little smile flashed across his face. I giggled a bit and blushed.

“You know you have to get up before Macy gets back” I sighed and breathed in taking in the sent of Vic. That’s why I was crying. Macy. I rolled out of bed as quick as possible, grabbed my bag and headed for the door. “Mattie, please don’t. Mattie!” I had left.

I’m not one to want to speak about my feelings, I hate it when Vic moves me around just so it can fit Macy’s needs. My hands were shaking. I don’t know why I felt like I was going to pass out. My eyes were blurring with tears. What was happening? He didn’t even come after me. The lift rang and the doors open wide, and who to come out but Macy. She whispered something snarky in my ears. I didn’t hear it, I didn’t even want to. She disgusts me. Everything about her. Every single thing. She’s horrible, she’d only there for his fame.

I know it. I don’t even remember the elevator trip down. I stumble out of the building. No cabs stopped for me. They were all rushing fast. I look up to Vic’s window and I see him, staring down at me. “Mattie! Please come back!” By now my mascara had smudged and it made me look like some crazy lady. I was about to open my mouth but Macy stuck her hand out the window and grabbed him kissed him and smiled at me. Thats when I ran, and far. I had no idea where I was going, my feet lead me where ever they felt like it. It was early in the morning so the foot traffic was low, but I still managed to bump into people. Why did this hurt? It felt like every time he mentioned her I broke a bit. Pieces of my heart falling into an empty void. Parts of me crumble. More specifically my heart crumble. This was the biggest fight we’ve ever had. He’s been my best friend ever since that party where some guys were getting too close. He fucked them up. That was when I was in middle school and he was in High school.

Notes