Scared. But Why?!?!

It's been 3 three weeks since Tony got amnesia and since I've been bunking with Hime. I've told Tony about every single thing about our past. He said. "That's bullshit! I would never stay with someone that does that." I miss my Turtle. The guys just got done with their set and we are sitting on the bus. In the past 3 weeks I've taken on smoking. "I'm going out for a smoke." I said walking off the bus. I walked to the side of the bus. I heard high pitched giggling. I looked over, There was Tony and Jessie sucking each other's faces. I hate her. "Really Tony?!" I yelled at him. "What the hell do you want, Joshlyn?!" he yelled. He never calls me Joshlyn. "Here is this," I threw my ring at him. "Fuck you!" I yelled running back to the bus. I hate Tony. I want to go home but we live in the same house. fuck. "What's wrong?" Vic and Mike said at the same time. "You'll see in a minute." I said sitting on the couch and pulling knees to my chest. Tony and Jessie walked on the bus. Everyone glared at her. They all hated that slut. He dragged her to the bunks and you could hear what was happening. I was done. Now he's cheating! I can't handle this anymore. We're in the middle of no where. It would take an hour to get to the nearest hospital. So I better do it now. I shot up from the couch and ran to the bathroom so no one could stop me. I took my blade out of my makeup bag. I cut my arms and thighs. I didn't cut my scar that spelt Tony. I wanted that there forever. I started cutting deeper and deeper every cut. When I dropped the blade, there was atleast 30 cuts. I grabbed my phone and left bloody finger prints over it. I went to notes and wrote my suicide note. Dear everyone, I'm sorry, but this is my escape. I longed for this feeling to go away but it never did. Tony cheating on me just pushed me over the edge along with losing our baby. I always loved you Tony and I always will. Vic, Mike, thanks for being the best older brothers ever, tell mama and papa I love them, I love you guys so much! I love you too Hime thanks for being there during hard times. I love you guys, I'm sorry for giving up. But if you love me, let me go.❤️❤️❤️ -Joshlyn 'Storm' Fuentes. BYE. P.S. I get to meet my child up there, hopefully.
The phone trembled in my hands as my vision became blurry. I blasted, "A Thousand Years" I heard faint yelling and banging on the bathroom door. I just closed my eyes and let death take it's toll.

Notes