His eyes were empty and sullen as they stared at my too thin frame. Jaime couldn't take his hands off of me, it was clear it was all too unreal for the boys. I was kind of relieved to see no Mike in sight.

"He's not here," Vic said bitterly.
"Where did you go?" Jaime asked again.
"Tell them Brooklyn," Vic laughed venomously.

Tony was still quiet and eyes wide staring at me. I must've looked like a ghost. My normally tanned skin was pale and my hair was flat and dirty, two things I never let occur when I was with Mike.

"I have a drug problem, Jaime," I said quietly.

He looked at me, his eyes confused, cloudy, and shocked. He withdrew and looked at Ainna, who looked so lost.

"She has nothing to do with it," I said quietly.
"Where did you do? Mike was in a million pieces without you," Jaime sounded angry.
"Mike used to buy his weed from this guy, and while you guys were on tour the guy came to the apartment, knowing I'd be fresh out of my weakness, and he just told me some things I already knew."
"Like what?" He growled.

Vic was looking at us curiously now.

"Like I'm a piece of shit, and I was doing nothing but holding Mike down. Mike wanted so desperately for me to get clean, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it for him."

The three boys looked at me, lost.

"He was my world, you guys have to understand and believe me. But when you love someone so much you think you're holding them back, you let go. I moved in with this guy, and things aren't glamorous, but I make it work," I brushed my hair out of my face.

Vic was typing away on his phone, trying his hardest to withdraw from the conversation. I could see the bulky guy from the corner of my eye approach us, it was the guy John had sent to keep an eye on Ainna and I.

I looked at Jaime sorrowfully before grabbing Ainna's small fraile arm and we ran. We ran faster than I thought I was capable of.

"What's happening?" Ainna shouted.

I ducked out an emergency exit and into a small alley where the dumpsters were kept, Ainna and I crouched on the side of the dumpsters and I looked at her.

"That was my bestfriend, and those guys are all close with Mike. The small one, that's his brother," I explained.
"Why are we running?"
"I don't want them to get mixed up in all this," I was winded.
"So now what do we do?"
"We have two options, we can go back into the mall and succumb to John's guy or we can go homeless," I looked at Ainna seriously.
"All of our belongings are at John's, and you need the...," She trailed off.

But she was right. There was no running from John. One way or the other I'd find myself right back there, whether it'd be to get my shit which doubtedly he'd even give me, or to throw myself at his feet for the blow.

"Let's go find him," I mumbled sadly and we walked around the building to the entrance where the stocky guy was waiting.

He was furious, and judging by the look on his face, afraid for his employment. Ainna linked her hand with mine, she was trembling. We sat in the back of the car silently, I felt sick driving away from the mall. Mostly because inside I knew there sat my past. Jaime, Vic, and Tony. They would more than likely tell Mike, who by this point I'm sure was fucking anything and everything that would give it up.

That was what made the whole thing less painful. Making myself believe they didn't miss me, because in reality, I was nearly positive things were more peaceful than ever for Mike without me there polluting his life.

The guy whose name still I didn't know grabbed both of us roughly and nearly tossed us into the house. John was waiting there, a small angry smile adorning his aged face. Ainna was shaking, she feared him. That was one thing that didn't scare me, John. John would likely beat the shit out of both of us for this "escape" but no damage physical or mental he did would be any worse than leaving Mike.

The worst had already been done to me. Everything now was monotonous. I expected the punishment as he rolled up his sleeves.

"You first, I'm sure you orchestrated this shit," He snarled at me.

I gladly approached him, his hand was across my face instantly. He pushed me to the ground and undid his belt. Sex was his weapon.

I was gagging feeling him against the back of my throat but I took it, hoping there would be nothing of him left for Ainna. I felt him smack my cheek again, and I knew he was weak. His knees were trembling and quaking as he snatched me by the arm and bent me over, ripping my clothes off. He slammed into me roughly, making my body shiver from disgust.

He was cursing under his breath until his climax hit and he was smacking my backside repeatedly with his belt. The pain was almost nice, it was nice to feel something for once. It was nice to feel some kind of sensation other then emptiness and the highness I was used to.

I pretended to climax shortly after he did, hoping he'd be satisfied enough to banish us both to our bedroom. John spun me around toward him and glared at me before sliding his belt around my neck. He tightened it slowly, constricting my breathing just a bit, before he pulled it as tight as it would go.

"Pull that shit again B, and see what happens. I will kill all of those little boys and I'll bury you alive with them," He growled, "understand?"

I was seeing small flecks of light and he quickly released me before shoving me toward Ainna who caught me. She was shaking uncontrollably as she led me to the bedroom, I couldn't think or feel anything as she laid me down on the bed softly and rummaged through my things to put some sweats on my bottom half. I cuddled into my blankets, thinking about how warm Mike's skin used to feel against mine. Trying to remember the tattoos I used to trace on his chest, reminiscing about how the bedroom lamp used to glisten against the metal of his medusa piercing.

It was nearly dark outside, but I wanted a bump. I wanted to feel nothing but euphoria. I was too weak to get up and do it. I could hear a commotion outside, which wasn't unusual, people would be surprised at how casual they take murder when you're a drug dealer. Killing people didn't scare John, it was an everyday thing.

Ainna cracked our bedroom door, listening in on the conversation. It was a shouting match but I couldn't comprehend what either parties were saying. I could hear the sirens though and people scurrying out of the house as quickly as possible. I sat up quickly, and Ainna launched herself near me, we huddled in the corner on the mattress, trying to listen.

"Where is she you piece of shit?!"

I froze as the door flung open, the doorknob puncturing a hole into the wall. I could feel the bile raise in my throat seeing the outline of a person. I didn't need to see the details, because I already knew who it was. I already knew by that crystal clear voice and the height, Mike was looking for me.

"Brook?" He asked quietly.

Ainna was trembling next to me, looking at the tears roll down my fearful face.

"Brooklyn, come here," Mike's voice was tired and relieved.

I was crying as I crawled to the edge of the bed and into his arms. It felt like a movie, like a drama novel, something unreal as he held me to him. I was crying loudly, and he was saying so many things I couldn't hear.

"I didn't really think you'd leave me," He used his hand to gather my hair away from my face.
"I don't want to be the reason you can't live your life," I choked.
"You were one of the main reasons I lived my life, baby. I got clean to help you, if I didn't try to do something you were going to overdose and I wouldn't be able to fix it this time," He was crying.

The cops were all through the place, a swat team raiding the property thoroughly. I needed a bump, something to deal with the reality of it all. I could feel Ainna's loneliness now as she stood next to me, Mike was glued to my side. I watched the officers cuff all the druggies I had come to know, I watched as John glared at me from a cop car.

I was given an appointment to come down to the police station and file my statement. I needed to talk to Mike about Ainna, I wasn't going to leave her to fend for herself.

"Mike," I whispered, it was like a foreign word to me aloud.
"Yeah?" He looked at me with loving eyes.
"I can't go without her. We're all each other has," I explained.
"Okay," He nodded, he clearly understood me.
"Vic?"
"We moved out of the apartment a couple weeks ago, we have our own places now," He half-smiled and tucked some hair behind my ear.

I reached up to touch his bearded face, it felt heavenly to touch inviting skin after what felt like an eternity. It was nice to smell his welcoming scent and his eyes were filled with this warmness I forgot existed in human beings.

But the gnawing was always there. I needed some blow, and I needed it soon. I reached for Ainna's arm, leading her to Mike's car. He piled my suitcase and duffle-bag in, tucking away Ainna's small bag as well.

He reached for my hand, taking it in his and smiling lightly at me. I was feeling incredibly sick, my stomach felt like it was ripping itself apart as we finally turned into an upscale apartment complex. My hands were clammy and shaking and I needed to sniff a line desperately. We were all silent as we walked the new path to Mike's apartment. Inside everything was lavish and looked expensive, not typical Mike but I liked the feeling of coziness as opposed to dirty and run-down. Mike showed Ainna to her room.

"Please make yourself at home, this is just as much your house and it is Brook and I's," He smiled a heavy hearted smile looking at her dirty petite frame.

She thanked him quietly and sat on the bed, I looked at Mike, silently asking for a couple minutes alone with Ainna.

"Hey," I sat on the deskchair next to her bed.
"I'm afraid he's going to come find us," She admitted unzipping her bag.
"He won't, I'm almost positive we're safe here. Mike will grow on you, I promise. He genuinely means what he says, make yourself comfortable, take a shower and I'm sure he'll make dinner," I half-smiled and hugged her tightly.
"Thank you," She sighed and relaxed.
"We've got to look out for each other now," I pulled away and smiled.

She nodded softly and I left her, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I ventured through the spacious apartment and into Mike's bedroom where he had already began separating my laundry.

"I already started a load," He looked at me.

I shut the door and looked at him, sinking to floor, silently crying.

"Hey," He sat next to me, holding me.
"It still feels unreal. I can't believe you even want me here, and you're doing all these things for me I used to do for you," I tried to steady my breathing.
"You need me now more than ever," He stated quietly.

I finally felt calm enough after about fifteen minutes of him holding my skinny body against his.

"Mike, I know you aren't going to be happy but I have to do some. Even if it's a small bump, I have to," I began feeling the sharp pains in my body again, "it's making me feel miserable without it."

He was silent and reserved but didn't object as I rummaged through my purse for the sandwich baggy. I used my long pinky nail and scooped a small amount on my nail before inhaling it deeply. Equilibrium felt restored.

"Let's take a shower," Mike broke the heavy silence.

For the first time in almost two months I felt whole. I felt warm. I felt genuinely wanted.His eyes were empty and sullen as they stared at my too thin frame. Jaime couldn't take his hands off of me, it was clear it was all too unreal for the boys. I was kind of relieved to see no Mike in sight.

"He's not here," Vic said bitterly.
"Where did you go?" Jaime asked again.
"Tell them Brooklyn," Vic laughed venomously.

Tony was still quiet and eyes wide staring at me. I must've looked like a ghost. My normally tanned skin was pale and my hair was flat and dirty, two things I never let occur when I was with Mike.

"I have a drug problem, Jaime," I said quietly.

He looked at me, his eyes confused, cloudy, and shocked. He withdrew and looked at Ainna, who looked so lost.

"She has nothing to do with it," I said quietly.
"Where did you do? Mike was in a million pieces without you," Jaime sounded angry.
"Mike used to buy his weed from this guy, and while you guys were on tour the guy came to the apartment, knowing I'd be fresh out of my weakness, and he just told me some things I already knew."
"Like what?" He growled.

Vic was looking at us curiously now.

"Like I'm a piece of shit, and I was doing nothing but holding Mike down. Mike wanted so desperately for me to get clean, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it for him."

The three boys looked at me, lost.

"He was my world, you guys have to understand and believe me. But when you love someone so much you think you're holding them back, you let go. I moved in with this guy, and things aren't glamorous, but I make it work," I brushed my hair out of my face.

Vic was typing away on his phone, trying his hardest to withdraw from the conversation. I could see the bulky guy from the corner of my eye approach us, it was the guy John had sent to keep an eye on Ainna and I.

I looked at Jaime sorrowfully before grabbing Ainna's small fraile arm and we ran. We ran faster than I thought I was capable of.

"What's happening?" Ainna shouted.

I ducked out an emergency exit and into a small alley where the dumpsters were kept, Ainna and I crouched on the side of the dumpsters and I looked at her.

"That was my bestfriend, and those guys are all close with Mike. The small one, that's his brother," I explained.
"Why are we running?"
"I don't want them to get mixed up in all this," I was winded.
"So now what do we do?"
"We have two options, we can go back into the mall and succumb to John's guy or we can go homeless," I looked at Ainna seriously.
"All of our belongings are at John's, and you need the...," She trailed off.

But she was right. There was no running from John. One way or the other I'd find myself right back there, whether it'd be to get my shit which doubtedly he'd even give me, or to throw myself at his feet for the blow.

"Let's go find him," I mumbled sadly and we walked around the building to the entrance where the stocky guy was waiting.

He was furious, and judging by the look on his face, afraid for his employment. Ainna linked her hand with mine, she was trembling. We sat in the back of the car silently, I felt sick driving away from the mall. Mostly because inside I knew there sat my past. Jaime, Vic, and Tony. They would more than likely tell Mike, who by this point I'm sure was fucking anything and everything that would give it up.

That was what made the whole thing less painful. Making myself believe they didn't miss me, because in reality, I was nearly positive things were more peaceful than ever for Mike without me there polluting his life.

The guy whose name still I didn't know grabbed both of us roughly and nearly tossed us into the house. John was waiting there, a small angry smile adorning his aged face. Ainna was shaking, she feared him. That was one thing that didn't scare me, John. John would likely beat the shit out of both of us for this "escape" but no damage physical or mental he did would be any worse than leaving Mike.

The worst had already been done to me. Everything now was monotonous. I expected the punishment as he rolled up his sleeves.

"You first, I'm sure you orchestrated this shit," He snarled at me.

I gladly approached him, his hand was across my face instantly. He pushed me to the ground and undid his belt. Sex was his weapon.

I was gagging feeling him against the back of my throat but I took it, hoping there would be nothing of him left for Ainna. I felt him smack my cheek again, and I knew he was weak. His knees were trembling and quaking as he snatched me by the arm and bent me over, ripping my clothes off. He slammed into me roughly, making my body shiver from disgust.

He was cursing under his breath until his climax hit and he was smacking my backside repeatedly with his belt. The pain was almost nice, it was nice to feel something for once. It was nice to feel some kind of sensation other then emptiness and the highness I was used to.

I pretended to climax shortly after he did, hoping he'd be satisfied enough to banish us both to our bedroom. John spun me around toward him and glared at me before sliding his belt around my neck. He tightened it slowly, constricting my breathing just a bit, before he pulled it as tight as it would go.

"Pull that shit again B, and see what happens. I will kill all of those little boys and I'll bury you alive with them," He growled, "understand?"

I was seeing small flecks of light and he quickly released me before shoving me toward Ainna who caught me. She was shaking uncontrollably as she led me to the bedroom, I couldn't think or feel anything as she laid me down on the bed softly and rummaged through my things to put some sweats on my bottom half. I cuddled into my blankets, thinking about how warm Mike's skin used to feel against mine. Trying to remember the tattoos I used to trace on his chest, reminiscing about how the bedroom lamp used to glisten against the metal of his medusa piercing.

It was nearly dark outside, but I wanted a bump. I wanted to feel nothing but euphoria. I was too weak to get up and do it. I could hear a commotion outside, which wasn't unusual, people would be surprised at how casual they take murder when you're a drug dealer. Killing people didn't scare John, it was an everyday thing.

Ainna cracked our bedroom door, listening in on the conversation. It was a shouting match but I couldn't comprehend what either parties were saying. I could hear the sirens though and people scurrying out of the house as quickly as possible. I sat up quickly, and Ainna launched herself near me, we huddled in the corner on the mattress, trying to listen.

"Where is she you piece of shit?!"

I froze as the door flung open, the doorknob puncturing a hole into the wall. I could feel the bile raise in my throat seeing the outline of a person. I didn't need to see the details, because I already knew who it was. I already knew by that crystal clear voice and the height, Mike was looking for me.

"Brook?" He asked quietly.

Ainna was trembling next to me, looking at the tears roll down my fearful face.

"Brooklyn, come here," Mike's voice was tired and relieved.

I was crying as I crawled to the edge of the bed and into his arms. It felt like a movie, like a drama novel, something unreal as he held me to him. I was crying loudly, and he was saying so many things I couldn't hear.

"I didn't really think you'd leave me," He used his hand to gather my hair away from my face.
"I don't want to be the reason you can't live your life," I choked.
"You were one of the main reasons I lived my life, baby. I got clean to help you, if I didn't try to do something you were going to overdose and I wouldn't be able to fix it this time," He was crying.

The cops were all through the place, a swat team raiding the property thoroughly. I needed a bump, something to deal with the reality of it all. I could feel Ainna's loneliness now as she stood next to me, Mike was glued to my side. I watched the officers cuff all the druggies I had come to know, I watched as John glared at me from a cop car.

I was given an appointment to come down to the police station and file my statement. I needed to talk to Mike about Ainna, I wasn't going to leave her to fend for herself.

"Mike," I whispered, it was like a foreign word to me aloud.
"Yeah?" He looked at me with loving eyes.
"I can't go without her. We're all each other has," I explained.
"Okay," He nodded, he clearly understood me.
"Vic?"
"We moved out of the apartment a couple weeks ago, we have our own places now," He half-smiled and tucked some hair behind my ear.

I reached up to touch his bearded face, it felt heavenly to touch inviting skin after what felt like an eternity. It was nice to smell his welcoming scent and his eyes were filled with this warmness I forgot existed in human beings.

But the gnawing was always there. I needed some blow, and I needed it soon. I reached for Ainna's arm, leading her to Mike's car. He piled my suitcase and duffle-bag in, tucking away Ainna's small bag as well.

He reached for my hand, taking it in his and smiling lightly at me. I was feeling incredibly sick, my stomach felt like it was ripping itself apart as we finally turned into an upscale apartment complex. My hands were clammy and shaking and I needed to sniff a line desperately. We were all silent as we walked the new path to Mike's apartment. Inside everything was lavish and looked expensive, not typical Mike but I liked the feeling of coziness as opposed to dirty and run-down. Mike showed Ainna to her room.

"Please make yourself at home, this is just as much your house and it is Brook and I's," He smiled a heavy hearted smile looking at her dirty petite frame.

She thanked him quietly and sat on the bed, I looked at Mike, silently asking for a couple minutes alone with Ainna.

"Hey," I sat on the deskchair next to her bed.
"I'm afraid he's going to come find us," She admitted unzipping her bag.
"He won't, I'm almost positive we're safe here. Mike will grow on you, I promise. He genuinely means what he says, make yourself comfortable, take a shower and I'm sure he'll make dinner," I half-smiled and hugged her tightly.
"Thank you," She sighed and relaxed.
"We've got to look out for each other now," I pulled away and smiled.

She nodded softly and I left her, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I ventured through the spacious apartment and into Mike's bedroom where he had already began separating my laundry.

"I already started a load," He looked at me.

I shut the door and looked at him, sinking to floor, silently crying.

"Hey," He sat next to me, holding me.
"It still feels unreal. I can't believe you even want me here, and you're doing all these things for me I used to do for you," I tried to steady my breathing.
"You need me now more than ever," He stated quietly.

I finally felt calm enough after about fifteen minutes of him holding my skinny body against his.

"Mike, I know you aren't going to be happy but I have to do some. Even if it's a small bump, I have to," I began feeling the sharp pains in my body again, "it's making me feel miserable without it."

He was silent and reserved but didn't object as I rummaged through my purse for the sandwich baggy. I used my long pinky nail and scooped a small amount on my nail before inhaling it deeply. Equilibrium felt restored.

"Let's take a shower," Mike broke the heavy silence.

For the first time in almost two months I felt whole. I felt warm. I felt genuinely wanted.