To Love Preciado

It's been a couple days since Jaime and I had sex. I told myself I would take things slow with him, well that didn't happen. I mean he's so hot and also a great lover, it's hard keeping away. Although I wanted to take my time with this relationship, I have no regrets. It's not like I fucked some random boy, I actually have feelings for him; feelings that are growing stronger day by day.

I've been thinking about Jaime a lot lately. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about him. After having sex, he told me he loves me, of course, I responded with an 'I love you' back. But it's got me thinking, do I love him?

When we first met I might've been shy, but we made sure to keep the conversations going. Right off the bat I was able to trust him, and I normally don't trust anyone. And now, we've known each other for only over a month, and we've already done the hanky panky. I trust him with my secrets, with my body, and I think I trust him to take good care of my heart.

Not only do I trust him, but I admire him, I care about him, and I see us being together long from now. When I look at him, it's like laying my eyes on him for the first time over and over again. Every time I see him my heart beats faster and my stomach starts to flutter. His voice has become soothing to me, his singing can put me to sleep. Everything he says or does makes me smile, happy, or just overall adore him. At this point, I would do anything to keep him by my side and safe from this cruel world. Although I'm the one in need of safety, I want to protect him as well because as of now, he is my everything.

So, am I in love with him? I think so.


Jaime's Point of View

A couple days ago I made love to Rosaline and it was absolutely amazing. I can honestly say, she's much different from the other girls I've been with. Let me correct that. She's totally different from the other two girls.

My freshman year, I lost my virginity to Alexis. I'm not going to call her names, but let me just say she got around. We were dating for quite a while, we had sex several times. About eight months into the relationship and she confessed she had been using me for my looks. Later on her best friend, Sandra, hooked up with me to get back at her ex. I guess her ex cheated on her so she was hoping to make him jealous.

Since then, I have refused to date anyone. I was dragged around and used, my heart was broken afterwards. I haven't been able to trust girls because I thought they were only looking for sex, money, or revenge. But Roz is different. From the moment I laid eyes on her I saw something special.

Sure, she is absolutely gorgeous, but I see past her dazzling green eyes. I can see the beauty within, hiding from the world because of the pain she has been through. I see her dwindling spirit and her soul waltzing with darkness. She has her physical and psychological flaws, but I still think she is the most stunning girl I've ever seen. In fact, whenever I see her my hand start to tremble and my heart skips a beat. I may seem cool on the outside, but in reality the blood rushes through my body and my mind goes crazy for her.

After we had sex that evening, she was lying there in my arms, drifting off into the realm of sleep. She looked so at peace, I was happy to know she was safe next to me. For some reason, I thought it was the right time to announce my love. I let the three words flow so naturally, without giving any thought. She might've said it back, but who knows if she truly meant it, it's still early in our relationship.

The words get tossed carelessly around quite often. Those words seem to mean nothing to many people. When I let an 'I love you' escape my mouth, I truly mean what I say. Roz probably thinks I just threw out those words, not meaning it, but I can surely say I am absolutely in love with her. Everything about her calls out to me. My heart screams for her. I just want her to be mine forever. I want to grow old with her, have a life with her. But I'm always wondering, does she feel the same way?

Notes