This Love Was Out of Control
I Sing For The Ones I Love
*Kellin’s POV*
I was chilling in the bus with Mike when I heard Vic singing to Copeland.
♪Maybe we're meant to lose the ones we love,
but I'll fight for you till then.
And if they stole you from me,
on my arm there's a tattoo of your name.♪
I walked up to his room and saw him bouncing Copeland on his lap, trying to cheer her up because she was bored. I stood behind the door so he wouldn’t see me.
“You don’t like those lyrics?” he asked her. She only smiled at him and clapped her hands. “Yeah, you like them? Okay, how about this...”
♪Tear it down, break the barricade
I want to see what sound it makes
I hate this flavor with a passion and I fucking hate the aftertaste!♪
She made a quick face at him. “Oh come on, I like those lyrics. How come you don’t like them?”
I quickly giggled, covering my mouth so Vic wouldn’t hear me. “What a douche,” I whispered. “He’s talking to a baby.”
“Ooh, I got something for you,” he told her.
♪She's mine!
You stay away from her
It's not her time.
'Cause, baby, I'm the one
Who haunts her dreams at night,
Until she's satisfied.♪
I saw her clap her hands with joy. Copeland is so cute.
“Oh now you like my lyrics?” Vic said to her. “Hold on, I have something better.”
♪And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground
I heard the train shake the windows
You screamed over the sound
And as we own this night
I put your body to the test with mine
This love was out of control
3-2-1 where did it go?
If I were you, I'd put that away
See, you're just wasted
And thinking about the past again
Darling, you'll be okay.♪
I heard soft weeping coming from Vic. Oh no, he’s crying again. I walked in his room.
“Hey, V…why are you crying?” I asked him, pretending like I didn’t know what was going on.
“Kelly!” Copeland cheered, extending her arms out to me. I took her from Vic’s arms and pinned her to my hip.
Vic covered his face with his hands and cried. There was no way I could comfort him with Copeland in my arms. I placed her gently in her crib and walked back to Vic. I pulled him into my arms, just like yesterday.
“Vic, I know you’re hurting.” I patted his head. “I don’t know how to make you stop crying or how to make you feel better like Jaime did. But he’s gone, Vic, and you need to let go of him.”
“Let go?! I’m never letting go of him!” Vic screamed, getting loose of my grip.
“Please, Vic. I’m just trying to help you with the pain you’re enduring, but you’re making it very difficult for me. When I said ‘let go’, I didn’t mean it like that. He’ll always be in your heart. He’ll always be your best memory.”
“But I miss him, Kels. I miss him,” Vic weeped.
I yanked him back in my arms. “I know you do. We all do, not just you.” I rocked us back and forth, hoping he would halt his crying.
“I just wish I could tell him how much I love him.”
“You have, Vic. He knows. I bet you he’s listening to everything we’re saying right now.” I tried lightening the mood. There was no way I was gonna watch Vic cry. I made Jaime a promise and I’m not going back on it. He told me to keep Vic stable and that’s what I’m going to do. Comforting is just what he needs.
~~~
*Vic’s POV*
I left the bus at night to get some fresh air. I wanted to go to the place where Jaime proposed to me. It was on top of a big hill where you could practially see the whole city. It’s literally breathtaking. I wanted all the happy memories to come back to me, for me to stop crying all the time, for me to just live my life the regular way.
I stood on top of the hill and looked down at the city. Cars drove by without a care in the world. I wish there was a sign above the freeway that said Drive With Care. Someone Loves You. That would truly change the way people drive.
The air out here was absolutely wonderful and I felt like I was at peace with the world. It made me want to fall asleep. I quickly closed my eyes and imagined the first time I saw Jaime.
I noticed his tattoos were pretty cool though. He had flowers in all different colors on his upper left shoulder. He had black hair that pointed in all different directions. I glanced down his body and saw that he wore ripped black skinnies and red Vans.
That was kind of awkward for both of us. I saw him staring at me in McDonald’s. Who would’ve ever thought you would find the one you love in a fast food restaurant? I take back flipping him off before I left. What else do I remember about him?
“Hello…my name Jaime. I from Spain. I come to live better life. To get money and bring back to my country.”
Wow, I remember him acting like he couldn’t speak English on his first day of school in Biology. I thought I was too cool to laugh, but it actually did make me want to bust out laughing.
"If being gay makes me a punkass, then I don‘t really care. I‘ve learned to accept myself for who I am.”
Mike made fun of him for being gay on his first day, since Jaime didn’t care to reveal himself to the class. I was very impressed about how open he was with himself.
“Preciado and Fuentes! You two are partners for the rest of the year,” Mr. Davidson said, checking both of our names on his sheet.
Oh God, I thought my life was done the day Mr. Davidson said we had to be partners. I didn’t want everyone in class to make fun of me for being partners with the gay kid. But Jaime turned out to be a wonderful person after that.
“What are you looking at, creep?” I said, flashing him a weird glare.
“N-Nothing,” he stuttered, almost wanting to shit his pants.
“Listen, Jaime, I know you’re gay and all, but you need to keep your “gaydar” on down low. It’s creepy to be staring at guys in the locker room.”
Okay, I’m not gonna lie. It is creepy to stare at others when they’re changing, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off me that day.
I tried to think of a better memory, one that will truly stick with me forever. How about the memory where Jaime wrote me a letter?
Vic,
I like you. I like you a lot. I don’t care if u hate me or won’t accept the fact that I actually care enough to write this to you. I couldn’t care less if you don’t feel the same way about me. When I look at you, I see a good person deep down. When I look at you, all the stress inside of me goes away. You don’t know how much I want to tell you this. Since the day I first saw you, I knew that I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to be with you. You may not think someone like me would be interested in a jackass like you, but I am. Your eyes can light up the whole world...or at least, my world. Your body is a masterpiece. I only dream of holding you in my arms every night. I know I can never have you, but seeing you everyday makes me smile. You brighten my day. Your smile is perfection. Your appearance sends chills down my spine. The way you walk is perfection. Your hair is perfection. I want you so badly. You give me so many feels that I literally can’t explain them all. I’m falling in love with you every second I stare at you. You’re beautiful. I can’t help it. I’m so attracted to you. Well, class is about to start up again. Take care of yourself. I love you.
Boy, that’s one memory I’ll never forget. No one ever wrote me a love letter, not even Cara.
I opened my eyes, not wanting to continue the memories. I had a couple tears pouring away from my eyes. I didn’t even realize I was crying. I stared at the sky, full of a million shiny stars, twinkling in the moon light. All these stars made me think of the first time I gave myself to Jaime. I wasn’t a virgin, but I never had sex with another guy before.
“Here, put your legs over my shoulders,” he said, helping me lift my body. He lubed himself up and positioned himself at my entrance.
“Wait wait wait…” I began, “I-Is it gonna hurt?”
“Only the first time,” he spoke softly. He placed a little lube in my inner rare end.
“It’s cold,” I said, looking up at me.
“It’ll heat up.”
He carefully touched the tip of his dick to my entrance. He pushed inside of me super slowly. I let out a squeal of pain and held tightly onto his arms.
“It h-hurts,” I gasped.
It really did hurt. It was kind of hard to adjust to a new feeling, but I eventually got used to it. Making love to him was the third best thing that ever happened to me. The second best thing was winning Battle of the Bands with him, including Mike and Tony.
“Congratulations! Here is your check for $100,000 and one of the record labels will assign you to them after the show!” the man said, placing the check in my hand. “Is there anything you guys want to say?”
Of course, there were a million things I wanted to say. But I know that time is short and we wanted to run out of here and celebrate. I slowly grasped the microphone in my hand and froze.
“Well, guys, there’s so much I wanna say. This is my dream. My brother and I have wanted this for months now, and look at us. We did it,” I blushed and smiled. Mike put his arm around the back of my neck and he let it hang there, swaying back and forth, just smiling out to the crowd standing on their feet in silence, letting me commence in my mini speech. Jaime and Tony stood right beside us. “It wasn’t too long ago when I asked my boyfriend and his best friend to join our band. And it wasn’t too long ago when I found out what the word “Pierce the Veil” meant in my Biology class with Mr. Davidson. I could go on and on about what Pierce the Veil means, but I realize that I can’t because, well, we’re out of time. Thank you all so much for giving us the opportunity to come back and shine a light on this stage!”
It was a new step in the right direction for our band. Jaime and Tony were a great addition for us. Of course, I got too drunk when we went to Kellin’s club later that day to celebrate. But celebrating winning Battle of the Bands was not as good as celebrating the night Jaime proposed to me. It was the day I knew he was going to stick around for a long time. He took me to the hill I’m standing on now and tried to make me smile by cracking a knock-knock joke. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
“Hey, wanna hear something cool?”
“Of course!” I said with enthusiasm.
“Knock, knock!”
“Really, Jaime?”
“Just go with it!”
“Ugh, who’s there?”
“Marry?”
“Marry who?”
“…Marry me.”
When I realized what he was talking about, my face lit up. And when he got on one knee, I started to cry. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
“Vic, you are so beautiful and there’s no one I’d rather be here with than you. You take my breath away, you don’t even know it. With all the letters I wrote you, my next one has to be the most meaningful and I’m gonna read it to you. I wrote this just days ago when you fell asleep next to me. While I lay here waiting to hear from you, I can’t help thinking about what my life has become when you became apart of it. Waiting and wanting you has been the focus of my thoughts these days, knowing that one day, all that I have envisioned of us being together, will finally happen, even if it’s just for a moment. You give me a reason to wake up in the morning and smile. Just smile for no particular reason except the fact that you’re here. As the days go by, I feel myself growing closer and closer and my heart is suddenly coming out of its shy spot and wanting to feel what it feels like to be loved again. I don’t ever want to lose this feeling. I don’t ever want to lose you. When I hear your voice, it’s like a feeling I don’t want to leave; you give me comfort and joy. The sound of your voice is like my favorite song, I can listen to it all night until it puts me to sleep. Yet, still as I continue here and think about everything you are to me, still, I just want you to know that wherever this road may take us, and how far it may be to finally get where we want to go, always know that you are in my heart and in my heart is where you’ll always be. Life hasn’t been this grateful to me, until there was you. You told me what true love was. Your smile, your eyes, your lips, your hair, your voice, your laugh, your hands, your smirk, your teasing, your humor, your weird faces that you make, the way you walk, the way you say my name, the way you look, the way you talk, your singing, your dancing, your body, your love, you. All of you. I want you in my life forever. I don’t…I don’t want anyone else to have you. I want you all to myself because I love you. I love you so much, Vic.”
I opened my eyes and immediately tears drenched my face. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away because no one was around. This memory made me so damn happy, but so dreary at the same time. Being dreary made me think of the time I told Jaime that I was completely faithful to him, that I would never cheat on him.
“You see this ring?” I said, showing him the diamond ring he got me for our wedding. “It means I’m dedicated to you and you only. It’s a symbol of our love. If I didn’t love you, I’d take it off and throw it in the ocean. I’m never taking this ring off, ever; you hear me?”
“I’m trying to be mad at you, but you’re making it very difficult for me to be annoying.”
I giggled at him. “Jaime, you are my world. You’re mine forever. I don’t care if you’re sick. I love you with all of my heart.”
“You always know what to say to make me smile. I fucking hate you, Victor Vincent.”
That last part made me laugh a little. Speaking of last part, the last couple memories I ever had with him was him telling me to keep going, to find love again.
“There’s something I have to tell you, Vic,” Jaime began. “If anything ever happens to me-”
“Nothing is gonna happen to you, Jaime.” I grabbed onto his hand. “Okay? You’re gonna be alright.”
“No, Vic, I’m being serious here. If anything ever happens to me, I want you to make me a promise, okay?”
I sighed heavily. “Okay, I promise.”
He held my hand tighter. “I’m very sick. If something happens to me, and I can’t be there for you, I want you to find love again.”
Tears already began to stream down my face. “No, I won’t do that.”
“Yes you will. Don’t settle for me; you’re gonna get your ass out there and find love. I’m not gonna repeat myself. I want you to be happy, even it if means me not being around anymore.”
“No, Jaime,” I cried even more, letting the tears leak to my shirt. “I don’t want anyone else. I only want you. I won’t be happy if you’re not here with me.”
He cupped his hand over my cheek. “Look at me, babe. No tears. I’m dying, Vic, and I can’t possibly be there for you and Cope. She needs you more than ever. Promise me you’ll find someone else to love and be happy with?”
And that’s when I made the promise of my life. I promised him that I would get out there again to find someone to cherish the rest of my life with. But what if I don’t find someone? What if they don’t meet my expectations? Do I just keep going until I find the right one? No one will ever be as perfect as Jaime.
And that brings me to my very final memory of him. My eyes were already closed, but I clutched them tighter, holding back all the pain I was having, picturing this terrible memory.
Jaime’s eyes were spread apart as wide as they could get. His mouth was open in an ‘o’ shape to the fullest, begging to have someone pump air into his lungs. I jolted up and sprang myself to his bed, clutching his face between my hands.
“Breathe, damn you, breathe!” I shook his face gently, motioning him to take in fresh air. I stiffened my hand and braided our fingers through one another. “I said breathe, Jaime! Look at me and fucking breathe!”
His body had begun to halt its shaking and his eyes were at its normal size, just as they should be. His chest slowly started to rise at a steady speed. His hand grew weak, as he goggled his eyes at me.
“Speak to me, my love. Say something,” I whispered.
He booped my nose with the lightest touch of a finger. He brought his hand up towards the back of my head and steadily pulled my ear near his mouth.
“I…l-love…….youuuuhhhhh,” was all he could say before the word ‘you’ finished with the slightest breath. His hand was no longer strongly attached to mine, but loose at the palm. His chest stopped rising, but his eyes were open. His dark eyes gleamed back at me, without a single blink.
“Jaime?” I said softly, but no response was given. My eyes started to fill with water. “Jaime…please…please say something to me, please.”
There was no answer. I placed my hand over his eyes and shut them with my fingers. The love of my life was gone. A waterfall of warm pouring tears drenched my shirt. I can’t believe he’s just gone, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I flashed my eyes open at the amount of light I saw coming from the side of me.
“Vic, what are you doing here?” I heard Mike say, popping his head out of the car.
“Nothing,” I sighed, walking over to the car.
“We were looking for you all over the place. We got worried. It’s really late so lets go home.”
I jumped in the car and buckled my seatbelt. So now what’s gonna happen, since Pierce the Veil is no more? Well…I refuse to continue on with this band if Jaime isn’t here with us. Our love was out of control in the beginning because I was confused about what I wanted. But there is one thing I won’t stop doing. Singing. The fans will be disappointed that they‘ll lose a loss of a great band, but they won’t be when I tell them I plan to keep singing. The only reason I’m going to sing is because it’s my passion. And now…I sing for the ones I love.
I was chilling in the bus with Mike when I heard Vic singing to Copeland.
♪Maybe we're meant to lose the ones we love,
but I'll fight for you till then.
And if they stole you from me,
on my arm there's a tattoo of your name.♪
I walked up to his room and saw him bouncing Copeland on his lap, trying to cheer her up because she was bored. I stood behind the door so he wouldn’t see me.
“You don’t like those lyrics?” he asked her. She only smiled at him and clapped her hands. “Yeah, you like them? Okay, how about this...”
♪Tear it down, break the barricade
I want to see what sound it makes
I hate this flavor with a passion and I fucking hate the aftertaste!♪
She made a quick face at him. “Oh come on, I like those lyrics. How come you don’t like them?”
I quickly giggled, covering my mouth so Vic wouldn’t hear me. “What a douche,” I whispered. “He’s talking to a baby.”
“Ooh, I got something for you,” he told her.
♪She's mine!
You stay away from her
It's not her time.
'Cause, baby, I'm the one
Who haunts her dreams at night,
Until she's satisfied.♪
I saw her clap her hands with joy. Copeland is so cute.
“Oh now you like my lyrics?” Vic said to her. “Hold on, I have something better.”
♪And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground
I heard the train shake the windows
You screamed over the sound
And as we own this night
I put your body to the test with mine
This love was out of control
3-2-1 where did it go?
If I were you, I'd put that away
See, you're just wasted
And thinking about the past again
Darling, you'll be okay.♪
I heard soft weeping coming from Vic. Oh no, he’s crying again. I walked in his room.
“Hey, V…why are you crying?” I asked him, pretending like I didn’t know what was going on.
“Kelly!” Copeland cheered, extending her arms out to me. I took her from Vic’s arms and pinned her to my hip.
Vic covered his face with his hands and cried. There was no way I could comfort him with Copeland in my arms. I placed her gently in her crib and walked back to Vic. I pulled him into my arms, just like yesterday.
“Vic, I know you’re hurting.” I patted his head. “I don’t know how to make you stop crying or how to make you feel better like Jaime did. But he’s gone, Vic, and you need to let go of him.”
“Let go?! I’m never letting go of him!” Vic screamed, getting loose of my grip.
“Please, Vic. I’m just trying to help you with the pain you’re enduring, but you’re making it very difficult for me. When I said ‘let go’, I didn’t mean it like that. He’ll always be in your heart. He’ll always be your best memory.”
“But I miss him, Kels. I miss him,” Vic weeped.
I yanked him back in my arms. “I know you do. We all do, not just you.” I rocked us back and forth, hoping he would halt his crying.
“I just wish I could tell him how much I love him.”
“You have, Vic. He knows. I bet you he’s listening to everything we’re saying right now.” I tried lightening the mood. There was no way I was gonna watch Vic cry. I made Jaime a promise and I’m not going back on it. He told me to keep Vic stable and that’s what I’m going to do. Comforting is just what he needs.
~~~
*Vic’s POV*
I left the bus at night to get some fresh air. I wanted to go to the place where Jaime proposed to me. It was on top of a big hill where you could practially see the whole city. It’s literally breathtaking. I wanted all the happy memories to come back to me, for me to stop crying all the time, for me to just live my life the regular way.
I stood on top of the hill and looked down at the city. Cars drove by without a care in the world. I wish there was a sign above the freeway that said Drive With Care. Someone Loves You. That would truly change the way people drive.
The air out here was absolutely wonderful and I felt like I was at peace with the world. It made me want to fall asleep. I quickly closed my eyes and imagined the first time I saw Jaime.
I noticed his tattoos were pretty cool though. He had flowers in all different colors on his upper left shoulder. He had black hair that pointed in all different directions. I glanced down his body and saw that he wore ripped black skinnies and red Vans.
That was kind of awkward for both of us. I saw him staring at me in McDonald’s. Who would’ve ever thought you would find the one you love in a fast food restaurant? I take back flipping him off before I left. What else do I remember about him?
“Hello…my name Jaime. I from Spain. I come to live better life. To get money and bring back to my country.”
Wow, I remember him acting like he couldn’t speak English on his first day of school in Biology. I thought I was too cool to laugh, but it actually did make me want to bust out laughing.
"If being gay makes me a punkass, then I don‘t really care. I‘ve learned to accept myself for who I am.”
Mike made fun of him for being gay on his first day, since Jaime didn’t care to reveal himself to the class. I was very impressed about how open he was with himself.
“Preciado and Fuentes! You two are partners for the rest of the year,” Mr. Davidson said, checking both of our names on his sheet.
Oh God, I thought my life was done the day Mr. Davidson said we had to be partners. I didn’t want everyone in class to make fun of me for being partners with the gay kid. But Jaime turned out to be a wonderful person after that.
“What are you looking at, creep?” I said, flashing him a weird glare.
“N-Nothing,” he stuttered, almost wanting to shit his pants.
“Listen, Jaime, I know you’re gay and all, but you need to keep your “gaydar” on down low. It’s creepy to be staring at guys in the locker room.”
Okay, I’m not gonna lie. It is creepy to stare at others when they’re changing, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off me that day.
I tried to think of a better memory, one that will truly stick with me forever. How about the memory where Jaime wrote me a letter?
Vic,
I like you. I like you a lot. I don’t care if u hate me or won’t accept the fact that I actually care enough to write this to you. I couldn’t care less if you don’t feel the same way about me. When I look at you, I see a good person deep down. When I look at you, all the stress inside of me goes away. You don’t know how much I want to tell you this. Since the day I first saw you, I knew that I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to be with you. You may not think someone like me would be interested in a jackass like you, but I am. Your eyes can light up the whole world...or at least, my world. Your body is a masterpiece. I only dream of holding you in my arms every night. I know I can never have you, but seeing you everyday makes me smile. You brighten my day. Your smile is perfection. Your appearance sends chills down my spine. The way you walk is perfection. Your hair is perfection. I want you so badly. You give me so many feels that I literally can’t explain them all. I’m falling in love with you every second I stare at you. You’re beautiful. I can’t help it. I’m so attracted to you. Well, class is about to start up again. Take care of yourself. I love you.
Boy, that’s one memory I’ll never forget. No one ever wrote me a love letter, not even Cara.
I opened my eyes, not wanting to continue the memories. I had a couple tears pouring away from my eyes. I didn’t even realize I was crying. I stared at the sky, full of a million shiny stars, twinkling in the moon light. All these stars made me think of the first time I gave myself to Jaime. I wasn’t a virgin, but I never had sex with another guy before.
“Here, put your legs over my shoulders,” he said, helping me lift my body. He lubed himself up and positioned himself at my entrance.
“Wait wait wait…” I began, “I-Is it gonna hurt?”
“Only the first time,” he spoke softly. He placed a little lube in my inner rare end.
“It’s cold,” I said, looking up at me.
“It’ll heat up.”
He carefully touched the tip of his dick to my entrance. He pushed inside of me super slowly. I let out a squeal of pain and held tightly onto his arms.
“It h-hurts,” I gasped.
It really did hurt. It was kind of hard to adjust to a new feeling, but I eventually got used to it. Making love to him was the third best thing that ever happened to me. The second best thing was winning Battle of the Bands with him, including Mike and Tony.
“Congratulations! Here is your check for $100,000 and one of the record labels will assign you to them after the show!” the man said, placing the check in my hand. “Is there anything you guys want to say?”
Of course, there were a million things I wanted to say. But I know that time is short and we wanted to run out of here and celebrate. I slowly grasped the microphone in my hand and froze.
“Well, guys, there’s so much I wanna say. This is my dream. My brother and I have wanted this for months now, and look at us. We did it,” I blushed and smiled. Mike put his arm around the back of my neck and he let it hang there, swaying back and forth, just smiling out to the crowd standing on their feet in silence, letting me commence in my mini speech. Jaime and Tony stood right beside us. “It wasn’t too long ago when I asked my boyfriend and his best friend to join our band. And it wasn’t too long ago when I found out what the word “Pierce the Veil” meant in my Biology class with Mr. Davidson. I could go on and on about what Pierce the Veil means, but I realize that I can’t because, well, we’re out of time. Thank you all so much for giving us the opportunity to come back and shine a light on this stage!”
It was a new step in the right direction for our band. Jaime and Tony were a great addition for us. Of course, I got too drunk when we went to Kellin’s club later that day to celebrate. But celebrating winning Battle of the Bands was not as good as celebrating the night Jaime proposed to me. It was the day I knew he was going to stick around for a long time. He took me to the hill I’m standing on now and tried to make me smile by cracking a knock-knock joke. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
“Hey, wanna hear something cool?”
“Of course!” I said with enthusiasm.
“Knock, knock!”
“Really, Jaime?”
“Just go with it!”
“Ugh, who’s there?”
“Marry?”
“Marry who?”
“…Marry me.”
When I realized what he was talking about, my face lit up. And when he got on one knee, I started to cry. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
“Vic, you are so beautiful and there’s no one I’d rather be here with than you. You take my breath away, you don’t even know it. With all the letters I wrote you, my next one has to be the most meaningful and I’m gonna read it to you. I wrote this just days ago when you fell asleep next to me. While I lay here waiting to hear from you, I can’t help thinking about what my life has become when you became apart of it. Waiting and wanting you has been the focus of my thoughts these days, knowing that one day, all that I have envisioned of us being together, will finally happen, even if it’s just for a moment. You give me a reason to wake up in the morning and smile. Just smile for no particular reason except the fact that you’re here. As the days go by, I feel myself growing closer and closer and my heart is suddenly coming out of its shy spot and wanting to feel what it feels like to be loved again. I don’t ever want to lose this feeling. I don’t ever want to lose you. When I hear your voice, it’s like a feeling I don’t want to leave; you give me comfort and joy. The sound of your voice is like my favorite song, I can listen to it all night until it puts me to sleep. Yet, still as I continue here and think about everything you are to me, still, I just want you to know that wherever this road may take us, and how far it may be to finally get where we want to go, always know that you are in my heart and in my heart is where you’ll always be. Life hasn’t been this grateful to me, until there was you. You told me what true love was. Your smile, your eyes, your lips, your hair, your voice, your laugh, your hands, your smirk, your teasing, your humor, your weird faces that you make, the way you walk, the way you say my name, the way you look, the way you talk, your singing, your dancing, your body, your love, you. All of you. I want you in my life forever. I don’t…I don’t want anyone else to have you. I want you all to myself because I love you. I love you so much, Vic.”
I opened my eyes and immediately tears drenched my face. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away because no one was around. This memory made me so damn happy, but so dreary at the same time. Being dreary made me think of the time I told Jaime that I was completely faithful to him, that I would never cheat on him.
“You see this ring?” I said, showing him the diamond ring he got me for our wedding. “It means I’m dedicated to you and you only. It’s a symbol of our love. If I didn’t love you, I’d take it off and throw it in the ocean. I’m never taking this ring off, ever; you hear me?”
“I’m trying to be mad at you, but you’re making it very difficult for me to be annoying.”
I giggled at him. “Jaime, you are my world. You’re mine forever. I don’t care if you’re sick. I love you with all of my heart.”
“You always know what to say to make me smile. I fucking hate you, Victor Vincent.”
That last part made me laugh a little. Speaking of last part, the last couple memories I ever had with him was him telling me to keep going, to find love again.
“There’s something I have to tell you, Vic,” Jaime began. “If anything ever happens to me-”
“Nothing is gonna happen to you, Jaime.” I grabbed onto his hand. “Okay? You’re gonna be alright.”
“No, Vic, I’m being serious here. If anything ever happens to me, I want you to make me a promise, okay?”
I sighed heavily. “Okay, I promise.”
He held my hand tighter. “I’m very sick. If something happens to me, and I can’t be there for you, I want you to find love again.”
Tears already began to stream down my face. “No, I won’t do that.”
“Yes you will. Don’t settle for me; you’re gonna get your ass out there and find love. I’m not gonna repeat myself. I want you to be happy, even it if means me not being around anymore.”
“No, Jaime,” I cried even more, letting the tears leak to my shirt. “I don’t want anyone else. I only want you. I won’t be happy if you’re not here with me.”
He cupped his hand over my cheek. “Look at me, babe. No tears. I’m dying, Vic, and I can’t possibly be there for you and Cope. She needs you more than ever. Promise me you’ll find someone else to love and be happy with?”
And that’s when I made the promise of my life. I promised him that I would get out there again to find someone to cherish the rest of my life with. But what if I don’t find someone? What if they don’t meet my expectations? Do I just keep going until I find the right one? No one will ever be as perfect as Jaime.
And that brings me to my very final memory of him. My eyes were already closed, but I clutched them tighter, holding back all the pain I was having, picturing this terrible memory.
Jaime’s eyes were spread apart as wide as they could get. His mouth was open in an ‘o’ shape to the fullest, begging to have someone pump air into his lungs. I jolted up and sprang myself to his bed, clutching his face between my hands.
“Breathe, damn you, breathe!” I shook his face gently, motioning him to take in fresh air. I stiffened my hand and braided our fingers through one another. “I said breathe, Jaime! Look at me and fucking breathe!”
His body had begun to halt its shaking and his eyes were at its normal size, just as they should be. His chest slowly started to rise at a steady speed. His hand grew weak, as he goggled his eyes at me.
“Speak to me, my love. Say something,” I whispered.
He booped my nose with the lightest touch of a finger. He brought his hand up towards the back of my head and steadily pulled my ear near his mouth.
“I…l-love…….youuuuhhhhh,” was all he could say before the word ‘you’ finished with the slightest breath. His hand was no longer strongly attached to mine, but loose at the palm. His chest stopped rising, but his eyes were open. His dark eyes gleamed back at me, without a single blink.
“Jaime?” I said softly, but no response was given. My eyes started to fill with water. “Jaime…please…please say something to me, please.”
There was no answer. I placed my hand over his eyes and shut them with my fingers. The love of my life was gone. A waterfall of warm pouring tears drenched my shirt. I can’t believe he’s just gone, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I flashed my eyes open at the amount of light I saw coming from the side of me.
“Vic, what are you doing here?” I heard Mike say, popping his head out of the car.
“Nothing,” I sighed, walking over to the car.
“We were looking for you all over the place. We got worried. It’s really late so lets go home.”
I jumped in the car and buckled my seatbelt. So now what’s gonna happen, since Pierce the Veil is no more? Well…I refuse to continue on with this band if Jaime isn’t here with us. Our love was out of control in the beginning because I was confused about what I wanted. But there is one thing I won’t stop doing. Singing. The fans will be disappointed that they‘ll lose a loss of a great band, but they won’t be when I tell them I plan to keep singing. The only reason I’m going to sing is because it’s my passion. And now…I sing for the ones I love.
Notes
i hope you guys understood that all those italics are Vic's memories in the past with Jaime. All those italics are ACTUAL scenes that happened in his story, if you remember any of them;)sorry if there are any mistakes in here..didn't feel like editing too much
THANK YOU GUYS SOOO FUCKING MUCH FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME AND MY LATENESS AND BULLSHIT AND JUST...EVERYTHING!!! I WAS TOLD SOMEONE WANTED A SEQUEL? THAT I CAN DO!!! IM SOOO GLAD I GET TO START THE SEQUEL BECAUSE IT WILL BE SO BADASS! IT WILL DEAL WITH A MENTAL INSTITUTION, JAIL, THERAPY, AND VIC ACTING A STRAIGHT DAMN FOOL. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? IT MAY BE TRIGGERING, NOT SURE YET. THANK YOU AGAIN! DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT ON MY CHAPTERS AND LEAVE ME WITH AWESOME VOTES IF YOU ENJOYED THE STORY! I WILL POST ANOTHER UPDATE ON THIS STORY TELLING YOU ALL WHEN THE SEQUEL STARTS! i'M THINKING IT WILL START IN TWO WEEKS? ALL THE INFO WILL BE ON THE NEXT CHAPTER (LINK FOR THE SEQUEL AND BLAH BLAH BLAH) UNTIL THE SEQUEL GUYS...LOVE YOU:)
Would really like to see a sequel :)
7/4/15