This Love Was Out of Control
I Left My Heart At Home
*Vic’s POV*
There she was, sitting alone on a fluffy cloud just staring out into the sky. She eyed me, knowing she had some explaining to do. She directed her undivided attention towards me and sat up, patting the spot beside her. I sat down on the cloud, taking a breath. I tried studying her image. She was so full of happiness.
“It’s nice to see you again…and so full of life, if I might add,” I said to the girl, smiling like an idiot to myself.
“I’m so happy here. I don‘t have misery anymore.”
“You didn’t have to do this. There were options instead of doing what you did.”
“Maybe it’s better this way.” Her eyes now sad and gloomy, staring at the sky right in front of her. “I wasn’t needed, Vic. But I’m happy you took five minutes out of your day to talk to me that night. I appreciate it.”
“What happened a month after we chatted?”
“It got worse: the bullying, the depression I was having, sadness all the time, no friends, unsupportive family, everything.”
“That doesn’t mean you should just give up,” I stated firmly.
“I had no other choice.”
“Yes you did!”
“What?!”
“What about the promise you made me, huh?! The one you made saying you wouldn’t kill yourself? You didn’t think about that, did you?”
“Vic, you don’t understand.”
I lifted her chin. “Then help me understand, Olivia.”
…..
I yawned and stretched my arms out. That was all a dream? No way, it can’t be. That means Olivia is really…dead. What sucks is she was about to help me understand, and now I won’t ever know.
It’s scientifically impossible to finish a dream where you left off from so there’s no point in me trying to go back to sleep.
I checked my phone like the daily paper and noticed that I had a missed call. It was a number that I didn’t recognize so I went ahead and exited out.
Before I could pull the covers off me, Mike rushed into the bedroom. “Vic, wake up!”
“I’m already up,” I said slouching.
“Guess what?!” he squealed.
“I don’t wanna guess. Just tell me who you fucked and that’ll be all.”
“No, nothing like that. Kevin got us the hook-up!”
“What are you talking about?” I got up and rubbed circles around my tired eyes. I yawned once more before Mike broke the news.
“We’re finally signed to Fearless Records! Kevin wanted us to be the best we can be, so he emailed them via internet and now we’re signed!”
“Did you really just say ‘via internet’?”
“Um, yeah?! Who cares! We’re with the big dogs now!”
Mike left the room, not shutting the door behind him. He always does that!
-@piercethevic: thanks to all the fans that have been coming to shows these past months. Happy to say we‘re signed to Fearless now! Woohoo! and @ptvmike, shut my fucking door next time!-
I scrolled through my timeline and saw that Mike had a tweet about Fearless as well.
-@ptvmike: YOU GUYS ROCK! Thank you Fearless. We‘ll make you proud. Our fans are the greatest! Couldn‘t have gotten here without you;) San Diego, we‘re home! #letsfuckinggo...and my bad, Vic-
Tony made a tweet corresponding to Mike’s.
-@Tony_Turtle: We‘ll be in San Diego for a while starting today! It‘s great to be back home! Our next tour will start in a month.-
Before I shoved my phone in my pocket, the Twitter app beeped, reading a notification from Jaime.
-@ptvjaime: San Diego has been good to me so far and I‘m blessed. Can I finish out the school year with my best friends?! @Tony_Turtle says education comes first. It sucks that I still have to listen to him. Love ya, Tone.-
I quickly retweeted all of them and tucked my phone away. Jaime stepped into the room, smiling at me. His presence takes my breath away. I lightly smiled and pulled him into me, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Good morning, love,” I said into his chest.
“Good morning, Fuentes.”
I continued to have muffled sounds because of my face glued to his shirt. “I love you.” I snuggled into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent and breathing heavily.
“I love you too, babe.”
I finally removed my face from his shirt and kissed his lips. He coasted his fingers through my brown hair and shifted his lips to my neck.
“That feels good,” I breathed.
He stared in my eyes, giving me a look. “Go brush your teeth. Your breath stinks.”
I placed my hands on my hips. “Well, excuuuse me for having morning breath! I just woke up!”
~~~
Since we were back in San Diego, we decided to visit Caesar and Frenchi and all the other douches we left behind. It was a Thursday and school was still going on right now. Everyone would be finishing up their third hour and heading off to fourth when the bell rings.
Kevin and Adam had to live in our bus for a month because we were all going back to school. Tony didn’t come to school with the rest of us because he already finished last year, obviously. He stayed at home doing whatever he could for the time remaining to keep himself occupied. Our principle is a dick head and won’t allow visitors during school hours or else Tony could just chill with us. People are stuck coming after to get a tour of the place. What bullshit.
“You guys ready?” I asked Jaime and Mike. They both nodded at me.
The bell was about to ring for fourth hour to start. The good ol’ routine where everyone rushes past others to get to class or hangs out by lockers and by the bathrooms. It was so weird being in school again. More than half of the students didn’t even realize we were back when the clock struck.
The bell rang and everyone fled from their class and headed towards their destinations. I spotted the usual “cool kids” walking around with their big ass group of friends, completely blocking the hall. I noticed the shy kids and the kids that were always alone in class and at lunch. I felt so bad for them and I really want to help them now. I want to make them feel like their living in a better environment where they can feel safe.
The final bell was about to ring. All three of us approached Mr. Davidson’s classroom, reminiscing about the old days when we came to school everyday and had a normal life.
“Here we go,” I mumbled under my breath.
We all walked into class and everyone’s eyes widened with shock, sending their jaws to fall to the floor.
“JAIME!”
“VICTOR, MY BOY!”
“FUENTES, YOUR BACK!”
“We missed you all so much!”
Everyone was excited to see that we finally came back to finish out the year. We received hugs, high fives, fist-pounds, manly slaps on the back, all that fun stuff until the teacher stepped foot into the class.
~~~
“You guys got a ten minute break because I need to finish grading papers. Keep the noise level down, or ELSE,” he stated firmly, pointing his finger at everyone. “Older Fuentes, younger Fuentes, and Preciado, it’s good to have you three back.”
We nodded at him and started towards our friends. For some reason, there was someone missing, and I felt empty inside. Jack and Alex were in the corner chatting with Mike, Jesse, Alan, and Austin were giggling like little girls to themselves towards the back of the class, and Jenna, Lindsay, Jaime, and Caesar were sitting in the desks towards the front where the teacher was. That was pretty much our group of friends. Who was missing?
Jenna exchanged looks with me and strolled up, parking her way in a desk next to me. “Vic, I missed you so much. I’m so glad that you’re back,” she said with a stern face.
“Why the loss of happiness on your face? You’re happy to see me, but you don’t look like you’re overwhelmed.”
“Well, it’s just you. Nah, I’m kidding, but really. Something’s up and I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You wanna fill me in?” I was all ears, remembering to listen carefully at everything she was saying. Listening is important to me now because of our fans. They mean the world to me and I cherish them with a deep passion.
“It’s Kellin. He hasn’t been coming to school. It’s been two weeks and he won’t answer his phone calls or his texts from me. I‘m really worried about him. I even went over to his house to check up on him, but no one answered the door. There was a car there though, but still, no answer.”
Kellin. He’s the one missing. “What happened to him? Is he alright?!”
“I haven’t a clue. He won’t answer me when I call or text him! I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“I‘ll go over his house later today to see what‘s wrong.”
~~~
By the time school ended, I headed towards Kellin’s place. There was no car in the driveway and I honestly didn’t care. I was getting in this house whether his mom liked it or not. Kellin isn’t a person to randomly skip school. He’s not like that so I’m guessing something is up.
To my surprise, the door wasn’t even locked, which means someone has to be home. His mom wouldn’t leave the house unattended without securing it first.
I ran up the stairs to Kellin’s room and found him gazing out the window. He apparently heard me because he swiftly rotated his body and gasped.
“V-V-Vic…you’re back!” He ran up to me and cried in my arms. “I’m s-so glad to see you!”
“I’m glad to see you too, Kels. Jenna told me you haven’t been in school for two weeks. What’s wrong?”
“N-Nothing is wrong. Why would y-you think that something is wrong?”
“You’re stuttering again? I thought you got rid of that when we first entered high school.”
“Stuttering? I wasn’t stuttering. I d-don’t know wh-what you’re talking about, Vic.”
I eyed him, not taking my eyes away from his chest. “Aren’t you burning in that hoodie?! It’s 85 degrees outside. I’m starting to swelter just looking at you.”
“I’m fine, really.”
That was a lie. I know he’s fucking dying in that thing. “What are you hiding, Kellin?”
“H-Hiding? I’m not hiding anything.”
“Bullshit! I’ve known you too long to fall for your trick. Tell me what’s going on with you.”
“No.”
“So there IS something wrong! I knew it!”
“There’s nothing wrong with me, Vic.”
I stared him down. I moved closer to him so that if I were to step forward, we’d be a foot away from each other. “You’re lying to me,” I whispered in his ear.
“I’m n-not lying, Vic. I swear!”
I feel like I know what he did. “Take your hoodie off,” I demanded.
“What?”
“Take it off.”
“Why?”
“Just do it!” My intimidation scared him, just how it used to before we became friends.
He tugged away his hoodie, leaving only a long sleeve shirt underneath.
“A long sleeve shirt and a hoodie? In fucking 85 degree weather?! Kellin, it’s summer!”
He didn’t answer me. Instead, a tear trickled down his face. He quickly wiped it away so I wouldn’t see it but I did.
“Please tell me what’s wrong? I’ll listen.”
He gently pulled up his sleeve, another tear escaping his eye. I gasped at the sight of new cuts, open wounds and scars that stained his arm.
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, KELS?!”
“I’m sorry, Vic!” he cried into his hands. “I couldn’t hold on any longer. I’m not strong like you, you know that! Since day one, you knew I was a loser! I can‘t stop cutting.”
“Please be strong! Be strong for me!” I held onto his shoulders and forced his body against mine, slamming his chest into me and embraced him in a hug. A tear left my eye, something it hasn’t done in a while. “Don’t you ever, ever hurt yourself, Kellin. Please, don’t do this.”
“But…you left, Vic. Y-You left.”
“I wasn’t going to leave forever! I could never leave you. You know you’re my best friend and I need you. You’re cutting is a terrible habit. You need to stop.”
“I know.”
“Did you know I encountered a death of a fan on tour yesterday?”
He shook his head with shock.
“She killed herself because she thought no one liked her, that she wasn’t beautiful, and that she was unneeded and a waste of space. I talked to her a month ago and she promised me she wouldn’t do it, that she wouldn’t kill herself. Now look where she’s at. I‘ll never see her face again because she cut to ease away the pain. She went too deep and was hospitalized!”
“What’s your point?”
“Throw away your blades, Kellin. And promise me that you won’t hurt or kill yourself. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t end up like her. She didn’t think before she acted. I wanted to help her, but I was too late. I want to help you before it‘s too late. I can‘t lose you, Kellin. I told you this before.”
“I-I’m sorry, Vic.”
“It’s okay, Kels. It’s okay.”
~~~
*Kellin‘s POV*
♪ I was someone else
Someone I do not know and
I hated myself
But it's behind me now.
I was looking for something to drown out the pain.
But with all the wrong answers it started again.
I learned on that very day,
I just cannot keep running away from myself.
Under a spell dragged myself to hell. ♪
“That was g-great, Jenna!” I cheered.
“You think so?”
“Perfect,” I stated.
“Okay, what do you have so far?”
“Well, I’m finished with the song already,” I admitted. “I k-keep stuttering though. I don’t know why. I haven’t tried singing in a while.”
“Just try, Kels.”
♪ Father, f-father, tell m-me where have you been… ♪
I was starting to struggle.
“Don’t stop, keep going,” Jenna urged. “I already like it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You were doing great!”
“I just…”
“Vic?” Jenna sang.
“Yeah?”
“Can you come in here please?”
Vic walked into the living room with a cup of ice cream in his hand. “What’s up?”
“Kellin, try singing now,” Jenna said again.
I took a deep breath, staring at Vic.
♪ Father, father, tell me where have you been?
Its been hell not having you here
I've been missing you so bad
And you don't seem to care
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
Do you even miss us?
Your bottle's your mistress
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
I will try to understand
Father, father, tell me where are you now?
Its been hell not having you
Last thing I heard, you were fed up, you're skipping town
With no note telling where
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Spent seven years wishing that you'd drop the line
But I carry the thought along with you in my mind
But is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Family!
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family? ♪
They both stood there, amazed at what they heard.
"See! You don't stutter when you sing."
“Kellin…what the hell…was that?” Vic cringed.
“You didn’t like it?” I questioned with my head down.
“I loved it. It’s just…why are you singing about your dad? With all the trouble he caused you in the past, why do you even care about him?”
*Vic’s POV*
Before Kellin could answer me, his phone instantly buzzed in his pocket.
“Hello?” Kellin’s eyes widened. “Who is this?…….How d-did you get my number?!……….No no no, please..…you leave me alone! Leave my mother alone! Don’t you ever come near my family and friends……….you’re not my family anymore!!!”
He quickly hung up his phone and began to breath heavily.
“Who the fuck was that?” Jenna said angrily.
“I can’t go home,” Kellin panicked.
“Kellin, who was that?” I asked him.
“I can’t go home. I can’t go home. I just can’t fucking go home!”
There she was, sitting alone on a fluffy cloud just staring out into the sky. She eyed me, knowing she had some explaining to do. She directed her undivided attention towards me and sat up, patting the spot beside her. I sat down on the cloud, taking a breath. I tried studying her image. She was so full of happiness.
“It’s nice to see you again…and so full of life, if I might add,” I said to the girl, smiling like an idiot to myself.
“I’m so happy here. I don‘t have misery anymore.”
“You didn’t have to do this. There were options instead of doing what you did.”
“Maybe it’s better this way.” Her eyes now sad and gloomy, staring at the sky right in front of her. “I wasn’t needed, Vic. But I’m happy you took five minutes out of your day to talk to me that night. I appreciate it.”
“What happened a month after we chatted?”
“It got worse: the bullying, the depression I was having, sadness all the time, no friends, unsupportive family, everything.”
“That doesn’t mean you should just give up,” I stated firmly.
“I had no other choice.”
“Yes you did!”
“What?!”
“What about the promise you made me, huh?! The one you made saying you wouldn’t kill yourself? You didn’t think about that, did you?”
“Vic, you don’t understand.”
I lifted her chin. “Then help me understand, Olivia.”
…..
I yawned and stretched my arms out. That was all a dream? No way, it can’t be. That means Olivia is really…dead. What sucks is she was about to help me understand, and now I won’t ever know.
It’s scientifically impossible to finish a dream where you left off from so there’s no point in me trying to go back to sleep.
I checked my phone like the daily paper and noticed that I had a missed call. It was a number that I didn’t recognize so I went ahead and exited out.
Before I could pull the covers off me, Mike rushed into the bedroom. “Vic, wake up!”
“I’m already up,” I said slouching.
“Guess what?!” he squealed.
“I don’t wanna guess. Just tell me who you fucked and that’ll be all.”
“No, nothing like that. Kevin got us the hook-up!”
“What are you talking about?” I got up and rubbed circles around my tired eyes. I yawned once more before Mike broke the news.
“We’re finally signed to Fearless Records! Kevin wanted us to be the best we can be, so he emailed them via internet and now we’re signed!”
“Did you really just say ‘via internet’?”
“Um, yeah?! Who cares! We’re with the big dogs now!”
Mike left the room, not shutting the door behind him. He always does that!
-@piercethevic: thanks to all the fans that have been coming to shows these past months. Happy to say we‘re signed to Fearless now! Woohoo! and @ptvmike, shut my fucking door next time!-
I scrolled through my timeline and saw that Mike had a tweet about Fearless as well.
-@ptvmike: YOU GUYS ROCK! Thank you Fearless. We‘ll make you proud. Our fans are the greatest! Couldn‘t have gotten here without you;) San Diego, we‘re home! #letsfuckinggo...and my bad, Vic-
Tony made a tweet corresponding to Mike’s.
-@Tony_Turtle: We‘ll be in San Diego for a while starting today! It‘s great to be back home! Our next tour will start in a month.-
Before I shoved my phone in my pocket, the Twitter app beeped, reading a notification from Jaime.
-@ptvjaime: San Diego has been good to me so far and I‘m blessed. Can I finish out the school year with my best friends?! @Tony_Turtle says education comes first. It sucks that I still have to listen to him. Love ya, Tone.-
I quickly retweeted all of them and tucked my phone away. Jaime stepped into the room, smiling at me. His presence takes my breath away. I lightly smiled and pulled him into me, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Good morning, love,” I said into his chest.
“Good morning, Fuentes.”
I continued to have muffled sounds because of my face glued to his shirt. “I love you.” I snuggled into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent and breathing heavily.
“I love you too, babe.”
I finally removed my face from his shirt and kissed his lips. He coasted his fingers through my brown hair and shifted his lips to my neck.
“That feels good,” I breathed.
He stared in my eyes, giving me a look. “Go brush your teeth. Your breath stinks.”
I placed my hands on my hips. “Well, excuuuse me for having morning breath! I just woke up!”
~~~
Since we were back in San Diego, we decided to visit Caesar and Frenchi and all the other douches we left behind. It was a Thursday and school was still going on right now. Everyone would be finishing up their third hour and heading off to fourth when the bell rings.
Kevin and Adam had to live in our bus for a month because we were all going back to school. Tony didn’t come to school with the rest of us because he already finished last year, obviously. He stayed at home doing whatever he could for the time remaining to keep himself occupied. Our principle is a dick head and won’t allow visitors during school hours or else Tony could just chill with us. People are stuck coming after to get a tour of the place. What bullshit.
“You guys ready?” I asked Jaime and Mike. They both nodded at me.
The bell was about to ring for fourth hour to start. The good ol’ routine where everyone rushes past others to get to class or hangs out by lockers and by the bathrooms. It was so weird being in school again. More than half of the students didn’t even realize we were back when the clock struck.
The bell rang and everyone fled from their class and headed towards their destinations. I spotted the usual “cool kids” walking around with their big ass group of friends, completely blocking the hall. I noticed the shy kids and the kids that were always alone in class and at lunch. I felt so bad for them and I really want to help them now. I want to make them feel like their living in a better environment where they can feel safe.
The final bell was about to ring. All three of us approached Mr. Davidson’s classroom, reminiscing about the old days when we came to school everyday and had a normal life.
“Here we go,” I mumbled under my breath.
We all walked into class and everyone’s eyes widened with shock, sending their jaws to fall to the floor.
“JAIME!”
“VICTOR, MY BOY!”
“FUENTES, YOUR BACK!”
“We missed you all so much!”
Everyone was excited to see that we finally came back to finish out the year. We received hugs, high fives, fist-pounds, manly slaps on the back, all that fun stuff until the teacher stepped foot into the class.
~~~
“You guys got a ten minute break because I need to finish grading papers. Keep the noise level down, or ELSE,” he stated firmly, pointing his finger at everyone. “Older Fuentes, younger Fuentes, and Preciado, it’s good to have you three back.”
We nodded at him and started towards our friends. For some reason, there was someone missing, and I felt empty inside. Jack and Alex were in the corner chatting with Mike, Jesse, Alan, and Austin were giggling like little girls to themselves towards the back of the class, and Jenna, Lindsay, Jaime, and Caesar were sitting in the desks towards the front where the teacher was. That was pretty much our group of friends. Who was missing?
Jenna exchanged looks with me and strolled up, parking her way in a desk next to me. “Vic, I missed you so much. I’m so glad that you’re back,” she said with a stern face.
“Why the loss of happiness on your face? You’re happy to see me, but you don’t look like you’re overwhelmed.”
“Well, it’s just you. Nah, I’m kidding, but really. Something’s up and I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You wanna fill me in?” I was all ears, remembering to listen carefully at everything she was saying. Listening is important to me now because of our fans. They mean the world to me and I cherish them with a deep passion.
“It’s Kellin. He hasn’t been coming to school. It’s been two weeks and he won’t answer his phone calls or his texts from me. I‘m really worried about him. I even went over to his house to check up on him, but no one answered the door. There was a car there though, but still, no answer.”
Kellin. He’s the one missing. “What happened to him? Is he alright?!”
“I haven’t a clue. He won’t answer me when I call or text him! I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“I‘ll go over his house later today to see what‘s wrong.”
~~~
By the time school ended, I headed towards Kellin’s place. There was no car in the driveway and I honestly didn’t care. I was getting in this house whether his mom liked it or not. Kellin isn’t a person to randomly skip school. He’s not like that so I’m guessing something is up.
To my surprise, the door wasn’t even locked, which means someone has to be home. His mom wouldn’t leave the house unattended without securing it first.
I ran up the stairs to Kellin’s room and found him gazing out the window. He apparently heard me because he swiftly rotated his body and gasped.
“V-V-Vic…you’re back!” He ran up to me and cried in my arms. “I’m s-so glad to see you!”
“I’m glad to see you too, Kels. Jenna told me you haven’t been in school for two weeks. What’s wrong?”
“N-Nothing is wrong. Why would y-you think that something is wrong?”
“You’re stuttering again? I thought you got rid of that when we first entered high school.”
“Stuttering? I wasn’t stuttering. I d-don’t know wh-what you’re talking about, Vic.”
I eyed him, not taking my eyes away from his chest. “Aren’t you burning in that hoodie?! It’s 85 degrees outside. I’m starting to swelter just looking at you.”
“I’m fine, really.”
That was a lie. I know he’s fucking dying in that thing. “What are you hiding, Kellin?”
“H-Hiding? I’m not hiding anything.”
“Bullshit! I’ve known you too long to fall for your trick. Tell me what’s going on with you.”
“No.”
“So there IS something wrong! I knew it!”
“There’s nothing wrong with me, Vic.”
I stared him down. I moved closer to him so that if I were to step forward, we’d be a foot away from each other. “You’re lying to me,” I whispered in his ear.
“I’m n-not lying, Vic. I swear!”
I feel like I know what he did. “Take your hoodie off,” I demanded.
“What?”
“Take it off.”
“Why?”
“Just do it!” My intimidation scared him, just how it used to before we became friends.
He tugged away his hoodie, leaving only a long sleeve shirt underneath.
“A long sleeve shirt and a hoodie? In fucking 85 degree weather?! Kellin, it’s summer!”
He didn’t answer me. Instead, a tear trickled down his face. He quickly wiped it away so I wouldn’t see it but I did.
“Please tell me what’s wrong? I’ll listen.”
He gently pulled up his sleeve, another tear escaping his eye. I gasped at the sight of new cuts, open wounds and scars that stained his arm.
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, KELS?!”
“I’m sorry, Vic!” he cried into his hands. “I couldn’t hold on any longer. I’m not strong like you, you know that! Since day one, you knew I was a loser! I can‘t stop cutting.”
“Please be strong! Be strong for me!” I held onto his shoulders and forced his body against mine, slamming his chest into me and embraced him in a hug. A tear left my eye, something it hasn’t done in a while. “Don’t you ever, ever hurt yourself, Kellin. Please, don’t do this.”
“But…you left, Vic. Y-You left.”
“I wasn’t going to leave forever! I could never leave you. You know you’re my best friend and I need you. You’re cutting is a terrible habit. You need to stop.”
“I know.”
“Did you know I encountered a death of a fan on tour yesterday?”
He shook his head with shock.
“She killed herself because she thought no one liked her, that she wasn’t beautiful, and that she was unneeded and a waste of space. I talked to her a month ago and she promised me she wouldn’t do it, that she wouldn’t kill herself. Now look where she’s at. I‘ll never see her face again because she cut to ease away the pain. She went too deep and was hospitalized!”
“What’s your point?”
“Throw away your blades, Kellin. And promise me that you won’t hurt or kill yourself. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t end up like her. She didn’t think before she acted. I wanted to help her, but I was too late. I want to help you before it‘s too late. I can‘t lose you, Kellin. I told you this before.”
“I-I’m sorry, Vic.”
“It’s okay, Kels. It’s okay.”
~~~
*Kellin‘s POV*
♪ I was someone else
Someone I do not know and
I hated myself
But it's behind me now.
I was looking for something to drown out the pain.
But with all the wrong answers it started again.
I learned on that very day,
I just cannot keep running away from myself.
Under a spell dragged myself to hell. ♪
“That was g-great, Jenna!” I cheered.
“You think so?”
“Perfect,” I stated.
“Okay, what do you have so far?”
“Well, I’m finished with the song already,” I admitted. “I k-keep stuttering though. I don’t know why. I haven’t tried singing in a while.”
“Just try, Kels.”
♪ Father, f-father, tell m-me where have you been… ♪
I was starting to struggle.
“Don’t stop, keep going,” Jenna urged. “I already like it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You were doing great!”
“I just…”
“Vic?” Jenna sang.
“Yeah?”
“Can you come in here please?”
Vic walked into the living room with a cup of ice cream in his hand. “What’s up?”
“Kellin, try singing now,” Jenna said again.
I took a deep breath, staring at Vic.
♪ Father, father, tell me where have you been?
Its been hell not having you here
I've been missing you so bad
And you don't seem to care
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
Do you even miss us?
Your bottle's your mistress
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
I will try to understand
Father, father, tell me where are you now?
Its been hell not having you
Last thing I heard, you were fed up, you're skipping town
With no note telling where
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Spent seven years wishing that you'd drop the line
But I carry the thought along with you in my mind
But is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Family!
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it is?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family? ♪
They both stood there, amazed at what they heard.
"See! You don't stutter when you sing."
“Kellin…what the hell…was that?” Vic cringed.
“You didn’t like it?” I questioned with my head down.
“I loved it. It’s just…why are you singing about your dad? With all the trouble he caused you in the past, why do you even care about him?”
*Vic’s POV*
Before Kellin could answer me, his phone instantly buzzed in his pocket.
“Hello?” Kellin’s eyes widened. “Who is this?…….How d-did you get my number?!……….No no no, please..…you leave me alone! Leave my mother alone! Don’t you ever come near my family and friends……….you’re not my family anymore!!!”
He quickly hung up his phone and began to breath heavily.
“Who the fuck was that?” Jenna said angrily.
“I can’t go home,” Kellin panicked.
“Kellin, who was that?” I asked him.
“I can’t go home. I can’t go home. I just can’t fucking go home!”
Notes
*title credit: Memphis May Fire:D
*Miles Away reference;)
*Lyrics credit goes to Sleeping with Sirens and Tonight Alive!
hey guys. i haven't updated in 2 months because i always thought that no one was reading it on here. I'm sorry, i guess i still one one reader that was dying from the feels so here ya go!:)
Would really like to see a sequel :)
7/4/15