This Love Was Out of Control
When You Enter New York, You Come Out With Scars
*Vic’s POV*
So here we are in Albany, New York, where we’re going to do a free show for anyone who comes out tonight. We put up signs all around town for everyone to see about a week ago asking if people would come to see us. Hopefully people will come out and support us.
It’s been a long week getting three songs done. But one week for three songs is literally a perfect start. Not many bands can do that.
~~~
11:59 am…12:00 pm, a perfect time to start out a show. The sun was scintillating outside and the clouds were no where in sight. The sun’s harmful rays shined down on my dark skin, making me glow. Jaime chuckled at me, knowing I put on body lotion before we left the bus.
“You look like God, Vic. You’re sparkling like crazy,” Jaime said, stating the obvious. "You even have his hair."
“Victoria’s Secret didn’t have anything without sparkles. Excuse me if their Coconut and Vanilla lotion smells good.”
Adam, our photographer, and Tony giggled at us, along with Jaime and Mike.
We continued walking along to the venue, everyone just yammering about what’s gonna happen and how everything is gonna roll for the day.
“Hey, Vic! Smile for the camera! This is gonna be your first photo,” Adam blurts before snapping a picture of me.
“I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t ready! Delete it,” I shot at him.
“Nope,” he smiled, grinning at me in the evilest way possible.
~~~
I peeked from behind the curtain and saw that we had a small audience. Of course it’s small; no one from New York even knows who we are because we’re from California. But it was still something we had going on.
“Alright guys, our first mini show for a small crowd! You ready?” I asked my band mates.
“Hell yeah!” Mike hollered. “Let’s fucking go!”
We huddled up and began our warm-up. We finally came up with a name for it. The Devil.
“And 1, 2, 3, 4...HEY VIC!”
“UH HUH?”
“THE DEVIL.”
“HERE WE GO.”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE.”
“HEY TONY!”
“WHAT?”
“THE DEVIL.”
“HUH?”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE.”
“HEY MIKE!”
“OOO!”
“THE DEVIL.”
“MMHMM.”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE.”
“HEY JAIME!”
“SUP?”
“THE DEVIL.”
“I’LL GET ‘EM!”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE…P.T.V! WOOOOO!”
Our intro started up. We literally made this part up yesterday and called it May These Noises Startle You In Your Sleep. It goes right into the first song we’re gonna start.
Short yells and cheers sounded through the audience. We ran on stage and everyone stood up, screaming and cheering for us. Wow, for an audience who doesn’t know any of our songs, they sure as hell are excited to be here.
♪ If you wanted to set me free
Why the fuck wouldn't you say something?
See, I was just over seventeen
May the poison set me free
Oh no, please, don't abandon me
Mother, father, I love you so
But this is just me disguised as me
I'm the killer who burned your home
This home
What the fuck is a home
This is the street youth rising up! ♪
It’s amazing how quickly everyone rooted and screamed for us. Hands flew up in the air, dancing, jumping, and head banging occurred. It feels like the time when we were all part of the Final Five. That was an amazing time.
♪ I cannot spend another night in this home
I close my eyes and take a breath real slow
The consequence is if I leave I'm alone
But what's the difference when you beg for love?
I run through glass in the street
Kerosene hearts carry the name that my father gave me
And take the face of the wolf
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
I met a girl who never looked so alone
Like sugar water in your mouth luke warm
She tied a cherry stem for me with her tongue
We fell in love and now we're both alone
'Cause I don't need any more friends
And another kiss like a fire on pavement
We'll burn it down to the end
Oh, oh
This is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
The water is rusted, the air is unclean.
And there for a second I feel free
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
I've waited all this night to honor you and say,
"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me, on me?"
This is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
You said what about us, well what about me?
Hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
Paralyze me
Don't let me jump, don't let me fall! ♪
“Thank you guys so much!” More yells from the audience blared. “Uh, so, as you all know, this is a free show that not many people get to witness everyday. Anywho, I’m Vic! Back there is my lil bro Mike. To my left is Tony and the right of me is Jaime. By the way, this man right here,” I said pointing to Jaime, “is the love of my life.”
Obviously, everyone started squealing and shouting, having a fan-girl moment. I kind of did that on purpose just to see their reactions.
“Together, we form Pierce the Veil!” I bellowed into the mic.
Our mini audience were the nicest people ever. The appreciated us and cheered at the appropriate moments. There was absolutely no booing, which actually brought happiness to my heart.
“We’re doing another free show later today but it’s gonna be in New York, NY, not here in Albany. Tell your friends about us, please! Get the word out there and I promise you, you won’t regret it. We have another song for you guys, and it’s probably our last for the day. I know we only did one song but it was just for starting out here.” We had three songs to do but we would have to get packing and move on to New York City. We couldn’t get through three songs during the day, but I know we’ll be allowed to do them all later tonight.
♪ Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night.
(But, there's just something about)
This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy.
Licking your fingers like you're done and,
You've decided there is so much more than me.
And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake.
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me.
Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway.
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.
Nobody prays for the heartless.
Nobody gives another penny for the selfish.
You're learning how to taste what you kill now.
Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace.
Talking to my mom about this little girl from Texas.
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.
Just give her back to me.
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.
So, baby, what if I can't forget you?
(What if I can't forget you?)
Collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall,
And just throw, oh no.
You can't just throw me away.
So, what if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if I don't even want to?
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.
Just give her back to me.
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.
So, baby, what if I can't forget you?
(What if I can't forget you?)
I'd better learn to live alone.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What's so good about? What's so good about?
What's so good about picking up the pieces? ♪
“I love you guys! You were fucking awesome! Please come back to see us later in the year. No, this time, it won‘t be a free show.”
A girl yelled out from the audience, “Are you guys doing a signing?” A signing? Already?
I looked at Kevin, our manager and then back at the girl. “Uhhh, not necessarily, darlin’. I’m sorry. But we’ll gladly take some pictures back stage for the first 30 people? We gotta get going so we can set up in a different city.”
Everyone quickly hurried backstage to be part of the first 30. We took pictures and hastily set up our stuff back in the bus.
~~~
“We’re Pierce the Veil! Tell your friends about us! We’ll see you all later in the year. If you want pictures backstage, we’ll gladly give them to the first 20, we’re running a little late. Thanks guys!” I announced, before placing my mic back on the stand.
Round two done for the day. Two free shows in New York are finally over. It was such a blast hanging out with everyone.
While we took pictures backstage, a boy asked all of us if we had a Twitter. It was weird because none of us did. We told him that we’ll all make a Twitter before we go to bed tonight.
Tony, Mike, and Jaime already headed towards our bus with Adam, examining the pictures he took of us on stage. I was beginning to pack up my shit backstage when a girl yanked on my arm and started crying. I instantly turned my body towards her from the tight grip she had on my arm.
“Are you okay?!” I asked her, almost acting too quickly, wanting to help her out right away.
“Help…me,” she breathed. She cried and let go of my arm. She tightened her left arm with her hand. Blood trickled down, dripping to the ground.
“Oh my god, “ I cried out. “You’re bleeding!” I left her side just for second to grab a couple towels. “Sit down. Let me help you, sweetie.” I wiped off the blood with one of the towels.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, staring at the ground.
“Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind helping you. You need it.” Underneath all the blood were open wounds, some of them fresh and some that were old.
She quickly tugged her arm away. “Don’t judge me, I know what you’re thinking. My scars are ugly and I shouldn’t do it, but I do.”
“I’m not judging you. I have a friend who’s very close to me that used to do that. I don’t know if he does now, but he used to,” I said, offering her a comforting smile to ease away the pain. I wrapped up the other towel around her scars. She winced out.
“It hurts.”
“I know they do.” Staring in her sad, innocent eyes, I couldn’t help but notice the resemblance of Kellin, who used to cut all the time because of his dad. I wonder why she cuts. “What’s your name?”
“O-Olivia, Olivia Penpraze.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” I said to her. She put on a small smile. “Does Miss Olivia have a nickname?”
She thought about it for a minute. “Liv.”
“Liv? That’s perfect, just like you. And that’s exactly what I want you to do, okay? I want you to live.”
She started to tear up. “I-I don’t want to live.” She cried into her hands.
My heart hurts. How could she not want to live? “What? Why not? Tell me.”
Before she could speak, Kevin screamed at me, which made me jump and turn my head. “Fuentes! You have one minute to get your ass in the bus! We’re gonna be late!”
I ignored him and faced Olivia again. “Tell me?”
“You wouldn’t care…Vic,” she said, turning away from me.
I tensed up. Damn it. How can I help her if I don’t know what’s wrong? I was never good with kids; okay she’s not a child but she’s a young teenage girl with problems. I never cared about this kind of stuff. But now is the time where I start listening to people. Besides, our music is mostly about self-harm anyway.
“Vic, we need to go,” Jaime said, coming up right behind me. When he noticed I was talking to someone who was upset, he joined in. “Hey, beautiful, what’s wrong?”
She wasn’t answering either of us. “Jaime,” I started, “I got this. Tell Loud Mouth I need five minutes. This is serious.”
He got up and headed towards the bus.
“Liv, I can’t help you unless you tell me what happened. Why did you hurt yourself? Why don’t you want to live anymore?”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well, I’m having trouble in school. I’m always sad and depressed. The other kids think I’m weird. They call me ugly, fat, useless, a waste of space, unneeded, pathetic, and so much more, and I believe them. I don’t know what to do. I’m not popular, cool, fun, or anything like that. I cut to ease the pain, but now, that doesn’t even work anymore. I’d rather die.”
Her words quickly sunk into my brain, imagining what it would’ve been like for someone to call me names. I’d kick their asses. But she was a girl, not like me where I’m already the most popular guy in school and I can say whatever the hell I want. Guys don't care as much about their looks and body. Some do, but none of us are made fun of for it.
She cried until I pulled her in for a hug and rubbed circles around her back. I whispered in her ear, “Don’t you believe them one bit. You don’t know how much you mean to certain people. And quite frankly, I care about you. A lot. Fuck what the haters think. They’re just jealous because they don’t have what you have.”
She pulled away and stared in my eyes. “What, a loving family? A boyfriend? Beautiful looks? A million friends? A fantastic body? I don’t have any of that.”
“Forget that. You’re beautiful, amazing, and all of the above, plus…Olivia, look at me.” A tear dripped from her eye. I wiped it away. “You don’t have to have a great body for people to like you. It’s all in your personality, darlin. And you clearly don’t have to have a boyfriend to make you popular.”
“Okay, Kevin is getting mad, Vic. We need to leave,” Jaime appeared again.
“Oh, Liv, see this funny character?” I pointed to Jaime. She nodded. “Yeah, I know he has weird hair and a stupid lookin’ face and all…but he’s my boyfriend.”
Her eyes widened. “B-Boyfriend?”
“Yes, boyfriend.” I held her hands tightly. “His name is Jaime. When I first met him, he was openly gay. Me…not a chance. I was into girls until he came around. But soon after, I fell in love with him. I was afraid people would judge me and laugh at me for being gay, so we kept it private. I came out on the soccer field in front of the whole school, and you know what happened?”
“What?” she said in a shocked voice.
“No one cared. No one laughed. No one judged me for being who I am. I want you to be who you are. Don’t ever let people bring you down, alright? You’re special, Liv. Promise me you won‘t kill yourself?”
“I promise,” she smiled. I hugged her tightly.
“Okay, baby doll, we gotta hit the road,” I told her, letting go.
“Thank you,” she said.
“No, thank you for tell me this.”
“Could I get a picture with you?” she asked politely.
“Absolutely.” She handed Jaime her camera, who snapped away, and handed it back to her. “Till we meet again, Olivia. See ya!”
“Good-bye, Vic! You too, Jaime!”
We both waved and stepped into the bus. What a night this was. Listening to her story made me wonder about other teens and how they cope with depression, or should I say, any disorder they might have.
My talk with Olivia really hit me. She told me people called her ugly, fat, and a waste of space? She wasn’t even fat nor was she ugly! She was a beautiful girl believing these lies they were telling her. And a waste of space? Who the fuck would say that to somebody’s face?! Bullying is serious and it needs to stop. I just hope Liv keeps her promise.
So here we are in Albany, New York, where we’re going to do a free show for anyone who comes out tonight. We put up signs all around town for everyone to see about a week ago asking if people would come to see us. Hopefully people will come out and support us.
It’s been a long week getting three songs done. But one week for three songs is literally a perfect start. Not many bands can do that.
~~~
11:59 am…12:00 pm, a perfect time to start out a show. The sun was scintillating outside and the clouds were no where in sight. The sun’s harmful rays shined down on my dark skin, making me glow. Jaime chuckled at me, knowing I put on body lotion before we left the bus.
“You look like God, Vic. You’re sparkling like crazy,” Jaime said, stating the obvious. "You even have his hair."
“Victoria’s Secret didn’t have anything without sparkles. Excuse me if their Coconut and Vanilla lotion smells good.”
Adam, our photographer, and Tony giggled at us, along with Jaime and Mike.
We continued walking along to the venue, everyone just yammering about what’s gonna happen and how everything is gonna roll for the day.
“Hey, Vic! Smile for the camera! This is gonna be your first photo,” Adam blurts before snapping a picture of me.
“I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t ready! Delete it,” I shot at him.
“Nope,” he smiled, grinning at me in the evilest way possible.
~~~
I peeked from behind the curtain and saw that we had a small audience. Of course it’s small; no one from New York even knows who we are because we’re from California. But it was still something we had going on.
“Alright guys, our first mini show for a small crowd! You ready?” I asked my band mates.
“Hell yeah!” Mike hollered. “Let’s fucking go!”
We huddled up and began our warm-up. We finally came up with a name for it. The Devil.
“And 1, 2, 3, 4...HEY VIC!”
“UH HUH?”
“THE DEVIL.”
“HERE WE GO.”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE.”
“HEY TONY!”
“WHAT?”
“THE DEVIL.”
“HUH?”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE.”
“HEY MIKE!”
“OOO!”
“THE DEVIL.”
“MMHMM.”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE.”
“HEY JAIME!”
“SUP?”
“THE DEVIL.”
“I’LL GET ‘EM!”
“THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHEEERE…P.T.V! WOOOOO!”
Our intro started up. We literally made this part up yesterday and called it May These Noises Startle You In Your Sleep. It goes right into the first song we’re gonna start.
Short yells and cheers sounded through the audience. We ran on stage and everyone stood up, screaming and cheering for us. Wow, for an audience who doesn’t know any of our songs, they sure as hell are excited to be here.
♪ If you wanted to set me free
Why the fuck wouldn't you say something?
See, I was just over seventeen
May the poison set me free
Oh no, please, don't abandon me
Mother, father, I love you so
But this is just me disguised as me
I'm the killer who burned your home
This home
What the fuck is a home
This is the street youth rising up! ♪
It’s amazing how quickly everyone rooted and screamed for us. Hands flew up in the air, dancing, jumping, and head banging occurred. It feels like the time when we were all part of the Final Five. That was an amazing time.
♪ I cannot spend another night in this home
I close my eyes and take a breath real slow
The consequence is if I leave I'm alone
But what's the difference when you beg for love?
I run through glass in the street
Kerosene hearts carry the name that my father gave me
And take the face of the wolf
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
I met a girl who never looked so alone
Like sugar water in your mouth luke warm
She tied a cherry stem for me with her tongue
We fell in love and now we're both alone
'Cause I don't need any more friends
And another kiss like a fire on pavement
We'll burn it down to the end
Oh, oh
This is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
The water is rusted, the air is unclean.
And there for a second I feel free
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
I've waited all this night to honor you and say,
"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me, on me?"
This is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
You said what about us, well what about me?
Hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
Paralyze me
Don't let me jump, don't let me fall! ♪
“Thank you guys so much!” More yells from the audience blared. “Uh, so, as you all know, this is a free show that not many people get to witness everyday. Anywho, I’m Vic! Back there is my lil bro Mike. To my left is Tony and the right of me is Jaime. By the way, this man right here,” I said pointing to Jaime, “is the love of my life.”
Obviously, everyone started squealing and shouting, having a fan-girl moment. I kind of did that on purpose just to see their reactions.
“Together, we form Pierce the Veil!” I bellowed into the mic.
Our mini audience were the nicest people ever. The appreciated us and cheered at the appropriate moments. There was absolutely no booing, which actually brought happiness to my heart.
“We’re doing another free show later today but it’s gonna be in New York, NY, not here in Albany. Tell your friends about us, please! Get the word out there and I promise you, you won’t regret it. We have another song for you guys, and it’s probably our last for the day. I know we only did one song but it was just for starting out here.” We had three songs to do but we would have to get packing and move on to New York City. We couldn’t get through three songs during the day, but I know we’ll be allowed to do them all later tonight.
♪ Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night.
(But, there's just something about)
This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy.
Licking your fingers like you're done and,
You've decided there is so much more than me.
And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake.
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me.
Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway.
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.
Nobody prays for the heartless.
Nobody gives another penny for the selfish.
You're learning how to taste what you kill now.
Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace.
Talking to my mom about this little girl from Texas.
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.
Just give her back to me.
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.
So, baby, what if I can't forget you?
(What if I can't forget you?)
Collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall,
And just throw, oh no.
You can't just throw me away.
So, what if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if I don't even want to?
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.
Just give her back to me.
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need.
So, baby, what if I can't forget you?
(What if I can't forget you?)
I'd better learn to live alone.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What's so good about? What's so good about?
What's so good about picking up the pieces? ♪
“I love you guys! You were fucking awesome! Please come back to see us later in the year. No, this time, it won‘t be a free show.”
A girl yelled out from the audience, “Are you guys doing a signing?” A signing? Already?
I looked at Kevin, our manager and then back at the girl. “Uhhh, not necessarily, darlin’. I’m sorry. But we’ll gladly take some pictures back stage for the first 30 people? We gotta get going so we can set up in a different city.”
Everyone quickly hurried backstage to be part of the first 30. We took pictures and hastily set up our stuff back in the bus.
~~~
“We’re Pierce the Veil! Tell your friends about us! We’ll see you all later in the year. If you want pictures backstage, we’ll gladly give them to the first 20, we’re running a little late. Thanks guys!” I announced, before placing my mic back on the stand.
Round two done for the day. Two free shows in New York are finally over. It was such a blast hanging out with everyone.
While we took pictures backstage, a boy asked all of us if we had a Twitter. It was weird because none of us did. We told him that we’ll all make a Twitter before we go to bed tonight.
Tony, Mike, and Jaime already headed towards our bus with Adam, examining the pictures he took of us on stage. I was beginning to pack up my shit backstage when a girl yanked on my arm and started crying. I instantly turned my body towards her from the tight grip she had on my arm.
“Are you okay?!” I asked her, almost acting too quickly, wanting to help her out right away.
“Help…me,” she breathed. She cried and let go of my arm. She tightened her left arm with her hand. Blood trickled down, dripping to the ground.
“Oh my god, “ I cried out. “You’re bleeding!” I left her side just for second to grab a couple towels. “Sit down. Let me help you, sweetie.” I wiped off the blood with one of the towels.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, staring at the ground.
“Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind helping you. You need it.” Underneath all the blood were open wounds, some of them fresh and some that were old.
She quickly tugged her arm away. “Don’t judge me, I know what you’re thinking. My scars are ugly and I shouldn’t do it, but I do.”
“I’m not judging you. I have a friend who’s very close to me that used to do that. I don’t know if he does now, but he used to,” I said, offering her a comforting smile to ease away the pain. I wrapped up the other towel around her scars. She winced out.
“It hurts.”
“I know they do.” Staring in her sad, innocent eyes, I couldn’t help but notice the resemblance of Kellin, who used to cut all the time because of his dad. I wonder why she cuts. “What’s your name?”
“O-Olivia, Olivia Penpraze.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” I said to her. She put on a small smile. “Does Miss Olivia have a nickname?”
She thought about it for a minute. “Liv.”
“Liv? That’s perfect, just like you. And that’s exactly what I want you to do, okay? I want you to live.”
She started to tear up. “I-I don’t want to live.” She cried into her hands.
My heart hurts. How could she not want to live? “What? Why not? Tell me.”
Before she could speak, Kevin screamed at me, which made me jump and turn my head. “Fuentes! You have one minute to get your ass in the bus! We’re gonna be late!”
I ignored him and faced Olivia again. “Tell me?”
“You wouldn’t care…Vic,” she said, turning away from me.
I tensed up. Damn it. How can I help her if I don’t know what’s wrong? I was never good with kids; okay she’s not a child but she’s a young teenage girl with problems. I never cared about this kind of stuff. But now is the time where I start listening to people. Besides, our music is mostly about self-harm anyway.
“Vic, we need to go,” Jaime said, coming up right behind me. When he noticed I was talking to someone who was upset, he joined in. “Hey, beautiful, what’s wrong?”
She wasn’t answering either of us. “Jaime,” I started, “I got this. Tell Loud Mouth I need five minutes. This is serious.”
He got up and headed towards the bus.
“Liv, I can’t help you unless you tell me what happened. Why did you hurt yourself? Why don’t you want to live anymore?”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well, I’m having trouble in school. I’m always sad and depressed. The other kids think I’m weird. They call me ugly, fat, useless, a waste of space, unneeded, pathetic, and so much more, and I believe them. I don’t know what to do. I’m not popular, cool, fun, or anything like that. I cut to ease the pain, but now, that doesn’t even work anymore. I’d rather die.”
Her words quickly sunk into my brain, imagining what it would’ve been like for someone to call me names. I’d kick their asses. But she was a girl, not like me where I’m already the most popular guy in school and I can say whatever the hell I want. Guys don't care as much about their looks and body. Some do, but none of us are made fun of for it.
She cried until I pulled her in for a hug and rubbed circles around her back. I whispered in her ear, “Don’t you believe them one bit. You don’t know how much you mean to certain people. And quite frankly, I care about you. A lot. Fuck what the haters think. They’re just jealous because they don’t have what you have.”
She pulled away and stared in my eyes. “What, a loving family? A boyfriend? Beautiful looks? A million friends? A fantastic body? I don’t have any of that.”
“Forget that. You’re beautiful, amazing, and all of the above, plus…Olivia, look at me.” A tear dripped from her eye. I wiped it away. “You don’t have to have a great body for people to like you. It’s all in your personality, darlin. And you clearly don’t have to have a boyfriend to make you popular.”
“Okay, Kevin is getting mad, Vic. We need to leave,” Jaime appeared again.
“Oh, Liv, see this funny character?” I pointed to Jaime. She nodded. “Yeah, I know he has weird hair and a stupid lookin’ face and all…but he’s my boyfriend.”
Her eyes widened. “B-Boyfriend?”
“Yes, boyfriend.” I held her hands tightly. “His name is Jaime. When I first met him, he was openly gay. Me…not a chance. I was into girls until he came around. But soon after, I fell in love with him. I was afraid people would judge me and laugh at me for being gay, so we kept it private. I came out on the soccer field in front of the whole school, and you know what happened?”
“What?” she said in a shocked voice.
“No one cared. No one laughed. No one judged me for being who I am. I want you to be who you are. Don’t ever let people bring you down, alright? You’re special, Liv. Promise me you won‘t kill yourself?”
“I promise,” she smiled. I hugged her tightly.
“Okay, baby doll, we gotta hit the road,” I told her, letting go.
“Thank you,” she said.
“No, thank you for tell me this.”
“Could I get a picture with you?” she asked politely.
“Absolutely.” She handed Jaime her camera, who snapped away, and handed it back to her. “Till we meet again, Olivia. See ya!”
“Good-bye, Vic! You too, Jaime!”
We both waved and stepped into the bus. What a night this was. Listening to her story made me wonder about other teens and how they cope with depression, or should I say, any disorder they might have.
My talk with Olivia really hit me. She told me people called her ugly, fat, and a waste of space? She wasn’t even fat nor was she ugly! She was a beautiful girl believing these lies they were telling her. And a waste of space? Who the fuck would say that to somebody’s face?! Bullying is serious and it needs to stop. I just hope Liv keeps her promise.
Notes
HAPPY NEW YEAR YA HOODLUMS!- Alex Gaskarth<3
Would really like to see a sequel :)
7/4/15