This Love Was Out of Control
True Love
*Vic’s POV*
I quickly scurried out of the house and rushed over to Jaime before he walked away. He didn’t have his own car yet because he would always ride in mine and Kellin’s house isn’t that far from his.
“Jaime, please wait! You don’t understand! Let me explain what happened,” I said, running as fast as my legs could carry me.
He turned around and put his hand up to my face. The look he had on his face was furious. “I don’t want to hear it. I really don’t. How could you, Vic? I though you loved me. Was all this some kind of joke from the beginning? Did you really think that I wouldn’t figure it out? You and Kellin are practically married for crying out loud! You’re always with him!”
“HE’S MY BEST FRIEND, HIME! I DON‘T LOVE HIM! I LOVE YOU! WHY CAN‘T YOU SEE THAT?! THE WAY YOU SHOW ME SUCH GENUINE EMOTION, SENDS MY HEART FLUTTERING IN THE OCEAN!”
“What?” he questioned, cocking his eyebrow.
Fuck, did I just say that out loud? DAMN DAMN DAMN! FUCKERY SQUARED! “Uhhh, it’s a…it’s just something I thought to get off my chest. Ok, forget I said that. POINT IS…I really do love you. You don’t know what you mean to me, Jaime. I really love you. We have true love and you don‘t even realize it.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s your definition of true love?”
Here we go. He’s gonna fucking wish he never said that because I can explain each letter perfectly. “TRUE LOVE. T. Trust. Something that you should have for me. I didn’t kiss Kellin for the hell of it or because I love him. I kissed him because he’s going through a rough time right now and that’s probably something you won’t understand. I was trying to make him feel better.” Kellin popped his head through the door and walked outside. When he noticed that I was explaining myself to Jaime, he slowly stepped back and leaned against his Bugatti. Jaime folded his arms across his chest. “R. Romance. Between me and you, it’s very strong and you know it. Don’t think for one second that you have any doubts. U. Understanding. Something that you’re not good at and I wish you were. Maybe our Trust would be quite stronger if you knew the pain my friends and family go through. E. Excitement. That tingly feeling I get in my stomach when I stare in your eyes. I never thought that I would fall in love with a boy.”
Kellin started walking closer to me and wrapped his arm around my neck and patted my back. I looked at him with glassy eyes, knowing that I just might cry if Jaime is strict on his final descision. I really hope he isn't.
I continued my definitions, adding on to the word Excitement. There was something I didn’t want to say out loud but I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed anymore. Even though no one else knows that I’m in love with a boy, I’m pretty sure it’s not going to stay a secret forever. “Thinking about excitement gets me hiped up. I still remember our first time. I was scared when you told me you loved me. My feels were jumping all over the place. My mind spun in all different directions; in a way, just like your hair,” I chuckled to myself. I saw a small smile appear on Jaime’s face and that led me to let a tear fall from my eye. “L. Listening. When I explain things to you, you always know what to say to make me happy. You’re a great listener and I wish you could just listen to my voice; explain how I really feel about you. I know that Kellin is leaning on me at the moment but ignore him.” I turned to Kellin for a second. “I’m sorry, Kels. I’m not in love with you. I love Jaime too much for him to just let me go like this. But just know that you’ll always be my best friend and I love you.” He nodded his head but continued to lean on my shoulder. “O. Overcoming,” I began, directing my statement to Jaime. “The obstacles we face everyday is part of our daily lives. Some are very simple tasks to overcome and others…not so much. V. Valuable. You are very special to me and I almost flipped a shit when I saw you standing on top of the Corondao bridge. I was certain that you were attempting suicide and I knew that I had to help you. I wasn’t going to let you jump. Don’t ever jump off of a bridge! Because if you jump…what will I have to live for? I love you so much and I already told you in the beginning…I can’t fucking lose you. E. Everything. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT IN A MAN. You are very faithful in a relationship and I thank you for that. There’s no one I’d rather be with than you, Jaime. I love you so much. I fucking love you.”
Jaime finally realized the truth and he shed a tear, trickling down his cheek without wiping it away.
“I don’t know what else to say. We have true love. I gave you every word specified.”
He quickly sprinted up to me and pushed me to the ground, tackling me with the tightest hug he could possibly give and attacking my face with kisses.
Kellin watched us with jealously in his eyes as I pressed my lips firmly against Jaime’s soft lips. But for some strange reason, he smiled at me and pounded his fist against his heart. I guess that means he’s proud of me. I didn’t give in to letting him leave me. I stood up for myself in front of him and didn’t give a shit what he would think of me.
More kisses surrounded my face. Jaime wouldn’t get off of me. I desperately tried to push him off me but he wasn’t letting up. He was obviously bigger than me and his weight pressing down on my ribs wasn’t a good feeling. I was extremely happy that he understood what I was talking about and that I truly love him, but I swear I’m about to lose conciousness.
“J-Jaime…I…can’t breath! I know you…l-love me…b-but GET THE F-FUCK OFF ME, NOW!” My breathing was restored and set to a constant pace. He rolled off me and prolonged his arm out, reaching for my hand.
“Take my hand,” he said, as I remembered the time I asked him to take mine. “Please, Vic, take my hand.”
Ok, now he’s just trippin. He’s playing back the same lines I said to him right before he was about to jump off of the bridge. That was a very scary situation and I wasn’t playing when I said I was going to jump if he jumped. I was going to jump if he jumped? That sounds weird. Hahaha.
Any freaking who, I’m glad that Kellin didn’t take it to the heart when I told him he wasn’t for me. That I’m madly in love with Jaime and nothing can change it. Unless he dies or something but I don’t want to think about that. He almost had a near fall.
I took Jaime’s hand in mine and he aroused me up, lifting my body from the ground and pressing myself against his chest, him staring deeply in my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Vic. I didn’t know you actually felt that way.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to prove myself to you. That I’m ve-” He pushed his lips to mine and I smiled into the kiss. He swayed his hands all over my back, making its way to my hair. He entangled his fingers in my hair and pulled down lightly, melting affectionate kisses on my neck. I opened my mouth to let out a moan but bit down harshly on my bottom lip to keep from expressing my emotions in front of Kellin.
Love, or should I say, true love really changs a person.
~~~
*Jaime’s POV*
I knew this very special place that my bus would pass by all the time on my way home from school. And I want to share this place with Vic. I forgave him for kissing Kellin because he told me in his little speech what true love really meant. He was just going through some bad patches and he needed comforting. I didn’t know the best way to comfort someone was to kiss them. But he told him straight up that he was in love with me and not him so I guess I’m thankful.
I took Vic’s car and drove us up to a light and turned right, hurrying past all the traffic that was coming behind us. I hastily glanced at Vic’s eyes to see which direction they were turned. He was dazed out the window, staring into the night sky. It was black with a hint of dark blue shades scattered all around.
“So where are we going exactly?” he asked me, breaking his contact with the sky.
“You’ll see. I want it to be a surprise.” Ok, personally, I hate surprises because some of them literally scare the shit out of me or they really aren’t a surprise at all. But this was definitely going to be a surprise that Vic would never forget.
We reached our check point and I parked the car. Did you just hear me? I said check point…I’m such a nerd. We got out of the car and I immediately grabbed Vic’s shirt from behind and pressed his back against my chest, covering his eyes with a blindfold.
“What are you doing, Jaime? Oh my god, if you’re going to rape me-”
I chuckled at his comment and continued to tie the headband around his eyes. “Don’t be a douche. I would never rape you. It’s a surpise, babe. You’ll literally have an eyegasm.” I directed him up a steep hill and took his hands in mine. “Hope you’re not peaking,” I smiled to myself.
“How can I? You tied this shit too tight. Can you losen it?”
“No, not yet! Just wait. I’ll take it off in a sec.”
We reached the very top of the hill. The view literally took my breath away. I can’t wait to see Vic’s reaction.
In a flash, the blindfold was off and his jaw dropped, gazing out at the city.
“J-Jaime…this…this is so amazing. I didn’t even know this place existed and I lived here all my life. Thank you. It’s so beautiful.”
I turned to him and cupped his cheek in my hand. “You’re beautiful.”
We lied down on the grass at the top of hill, staring and fancing the night sky. The lack of clouds had a huge impact on me. There were millions of stars in the sky, practically scintillating and glistening at each one I pointed to. I narrowed my eyes at Vic while he spiked his attention to the two biggest star-like objects in the black and blue shadows.
“Look, Jaime! You see those two giant stars attached to each other?”
I nodded my head in agreement and waited for his response.
“That’s just like you and me!” he clapped before removing his head from the grass and leaning it on my chest. He softly traced the pattern on my shirt, twirling his finger in different shapes. He looked at me with his starry eyes. “I love you, Jaime. So much.”
My heart fluttered with excitement and my stomach did handstands and front flips.
There’s something I want to tell him but I’m so fucking nervous of what he might say. I’m afraid that he’ll reject me because he’s not ready. Or he’ll laugh in my face and walk away from me, telling his buddies what I told him. Not only do I wanna say something, but I want to give him something that means so much to me. I know for a fact that he loves me, but I don’t think he loves me the way I love him.
Well, I can only hope. I can guess what he might say but I’ll never be sure unless I try. But I’m going to have to wait until I’m ready. And when he’s ready, I’m ready.
I quickly scurried out of the house and rushed over to Jaime before he walked away. He didn’t have his own car yet because he would always ride in mine and Kellin’s house isn’t that far from his.
“Jaime, please wait! You don’t understand! Let me explain what happened,” I said, running as fast as my legs could carry me.
He turned around and put his hand up to my face. The look he had on his face was furious. “I don’t want to hear it. I really don’t. How could you, Vic? I though you loved me. Was all this some kind of joke from the beginning? Did you really think that I wouldn’t figure it out? You and Kellin are practically married for crying out loud! You’re always with him!”
“HE’S MY BEST FRIEND, HIME! I DON‘T LOVE HIM! I LOVE YOU! WHY CAN‘T YOU SEE THAT?! THE WAY YOU SHOW ME SUCH GENUINE EMOTION, SENDS MY HEART FLUTTERING IN THE OCEAN!”
“What?” he questioned, cocking his eyebrow.
Fuck, did I just say that out loud? DAMN DAMN DAMN! FUCKERY SQUARED! “Uhhh, it’s a…it’s just something I thought to get off my chest. Ok, forget I said that. POINT IS…I really do love you. You don’t know what you mean to me, Jaime. I really love you. We have true love and you don‘t even realize it.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s your definition of true love?”
Here we go. He’s gonna fucking wish he never said that because I can explain each letter perfectly. “TRUE LOVE. T. Trust. Something that you should have for me. I didn’t kiss Kellin for the hell of it or because I love him. I kissed him because he’s going through a rough time right now and that’s probably something you won’t understand. I was trying to make him feel better.” Kellin popped his head through the door and walked outside. When he noticed that I was explaining myself to Jaime, he slowly stepped back and leaned against his Bugatti. Jaime folded his arms across his chest. “R. Romance. Between me and you, it’s very strong and you know it. Don’t think for one second that you have any doubts. U. Understanding. Something that you’re not good at and I wish you were. Maybe our Trust would be quite stronger if you knew the pain my friends and family go through. E. Excitement. That tingly feeling I get in my stomach when I stare in your eyes. I never thought that I would fall in love with a boy.”
Kellin started walking closer to me and wrapped his arm around my neck and patted my back. I looked at him with glassy eyes, knowing that I just might cry if Jaime is strict on his final descision. I really hope he isn't.
I continued my definitions, adding on to the word Excitement. There was something I didn’t want to say out loud but I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed anymore. Even though no one else knows that I’m in love with a boy, I’m pretty sure it’s not going to stay a secret forever. “Thinking about excitement gets me hiped up. I still remember our first time. I was scared when you told me you loved me. My feels were jumping all over the place. My mind spun in all different directions; in a way, just like your hair,” I chuckled to myself. I saw a small smile appear on Jaime’s face and that led me to let a tear fall from my eye. “L. Listening. When I explain things to you, you always know what to say to make me happy. You’re a great listener and I wish you could just listen to my voice; explain how I really feel about you. I know that Kellin is leaning on me at the moment but ignore him.” I turned to Kellin for a second. “I’m sorry, Kels. I’m not in love with you. I love Jaime too much for him to just let me go like this. But just know that you’ll always be my best friend and I love you.” He nodded his head but continued to lean on my shoulder. “O. Overcoming,” I began, directing my statement to Jaime. “The obstacles we face everyday is part of our daily lives. Some are very simple tasks to overcome and others…not so much. V. Valuable. You are very special to me and I almost flipped a shit when I saw you standing on top of the Corondao bridge. I was certain that you were attempting suicide and I knew that I had to help you. I wasn’t going to let you jump. Don’t ever jump off of a bridge! Because if you jump…what will I have to live for? I love you so much and I already told you in the beginning…I can’t fucking lose you. E. Everything. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT IN A MAN. You are very faithful in a relationship and I thank you for that. There’s no one I’d rather be with than you, Jaime. I love you so much. I fucking love you.”
Jaime finally realized the truth and he shed a tear, trickling down his cheek without wiping it away.
“I don’t know what else to say. We have true love. I gave you every word specified.”
He quickly sprinted up to me and pushed me to the ground, tackling me with the tightest hug he could possibly give and attacking my face with kisses.
Kellin watched us with jealously in his eyes as I pressed my lips firmly against Jaime’s soft lips. But for some strange reason, he smiled at me and pounded his fist against his heart. I guess that means he’s proud of me. I didn’t give in to letting him leave me. I stood up for myself in front of him and didn’t give a shit what he would think of me.
More kisses surrounded my face. Jaime wouldn’t get off of me. I desperately tried to push him off me but he wasn’t letting up. He was obviously bigger than me and his weight pressing down on my ribs wasn’t a good feeling. I was extremely happy that he understood what I was talking about and that I truly love him, but I swear I’m about to lose conciousness.
“J-Jaime…I…can’t breath! I know you…l-love me…b-but GET THE F-FUCK OFF ME, NOW!” My breathing was restored and set to a constant pace. He rolled off me and prolonged his arm out, reaching for my hand.
“Take my hand,” he said, as I remembered the time I asked him to take mine. “Please, Vic, take my hand.”
Ok, now he’s just trippin. He’s playing back the same lines I said to him right before he was about to jump off of the bridge. That was a very scary situation and I wasn’t playing when I said I was going to jump if he jumped. I was going to jump if he jumped? That sounds weird. Hahaha.
Any freaking who, I’m glad that Kellin didn’t take it to the heart when I told him he wasn’t for me. That I’m madly in love with Jaime and nothing can change it. Unless he dies or something but I don’t want to think about that. He almost had a near fall.
I took Jaime’s hand in mine and he aroused me up, lifting my body from the ground and pressing myself against his chest, him staring deeply in my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Vic. I didn’t know you actually felt that way.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to prove myself to you. That I’m ve-” He pushed his lips to mine and I smiled into the kiss. He swayed his hands all over my back, making its way to my hair. He entangled his fingers in my hair and pulled down lightly, melting affectionate kisses on my neck. I opened my mouth to let out a moan but bit down harshly on my bottom lip to keep from expressing my emotions in front of Kellin.
Love, or should I say, true love really changs a person.
~~~
*Jaime’s POV*
I knew this very special place that my bus would pass by all the time on my way home from school. And I want to share this place with Vic. I forgave him for kissing Kellin because he told me in his little speech what true love really meant. He was just going through some bad patches and he needed comforting. I didn’t know the best way to comfort someone was to kiss them. But he told him straight up that he was in love with me and not him so I guess I’m thankful.
I took Vic’s car and drove us up to a light and turned right, hurrying past all the traffic that was coming behind us. I hastily glanced at Vic’s eyes to see which direction they were turned. He was dazed out the window, staring into the night sky. It was black with a hint of dark blue shades scattered all around.
“So where are we going exactly?” he asked me, breaking his contact with the sky.
“You’ll see. I want it to be a surprise.” Ok, personally, I hate surprises because some of them literally scare the shit out of me or they really aren’t a surprise at all. But this was definitely going to be a surprise that Vic would never forget.
We reached our check point and I parked the car. Did you just hear me? I said check point…I’m such a nerd. We got out of the car and I immediately grabbed Vic’s shirt from behind and pressed his back against my chest, covering his eyes with a blindfold.
“What are you doing, Jaime? Oh my god, if you’re going to rape me-”
I chuckled at his comment and continued to tie the headband around his eyes. “Don’t be a douche. I would never rape you. It’s a surpise, babe. You’ll literally have an eyegasm.” I directed him up a steep hill and took his hands in mine. “Hope you’re not peaking,” I smiled to myself.
“How can I? You tied this shit too tight. Can you losen it?”
“No, not yet! Just wait. I’ll take it off in a sec.”
We reached the very top of the hill. The view literally took my breath away. I can’t wait to see Vic’s reaction.
In a flash, the blindfold was off and his jaw dropped, gazing out at the city.
“J-Jaime…this…this is so amazing. I didn’t even know this place existed and I lived here all my life. Thank you. It’s so beautiful.”
I turned to him and cupped his cheek in my hand. “You’re beautiful.”
We lied down on the grass at the top of hill, staring and fancing the night sky. The lack of clouds had a huge impact on me. There were millions of stars in the sky, practically scintillating and glistening at each one I pointed to. I narrowed my eyes at Vic while he spiked his attention to the two biggest star-like objects in the black and blue shadows.
“Look, Jaime! You see those two giant stars attached to each other?”
I nodded my head in agreement and waited for his response.
“That’s just like you and me!” he clapped before removing his head from the grass and leaning it on my chest. He softly traced the pattern on my shirt, twirling his finger in different shapes. He looked at me with his starry eyes. “I love you, Jaime. So much.”
My heart fluttered with excitement and my stomach did handstands and front flips.
There’s something I want to tell him but I’m so fucking nervous of what he might say. I’m afraid that he’ll reject me because he’s not ready. Or he’ll laugh in my face and walk away from me, telling his buddies what I told him. Not only do I wanna say something, but I want to give him something that means so much to me. I know for a fact that he loves me, but I don’t think he loves me the way I love him.
Well, I can only hope. I can guess what he might say but I’ll never be sure unless I try. But I’m going to have to wait until I’m ready. And when he’s ready, I’m ready.
Notes
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7/4/15