This Love Was Out of Control
Savin Me
*Vic’s POV*
“How are those lyrics coming along, Vic?” Kellin asked me, standing above my shoulder.
“Bro, it’s going great! I can’t wait for Jaime to hear what I’ve come up with. I’m gonna blow his mind!”
“Or his dick,” Kellin joked, veiling his mouth with his hand.
“Listen, bitch,” I began, picking up a chair and grasping it in my hands, getting ready to chuck it at him. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Just like a batter, I was determined to hit the nigga…as a joke. I smiled at him widely, acknowledging him that I was only kidding. Or was I?
“Nothing. I said nothing!” he surrendered, throwing his hands up and backing away.
I sat back down and continued working on my lyrics. These were the lyrics that I was writing for Jaime. He doesn’t know yet, but the reason I didn’t want him around me is because I wanted to work on this song. It was pretty much for him and I didn’t want him getting in the way of me writing it. If I’m with him, he’ll be my distraction and I wouldn’t be able to get any writing done.
“So about the other day,” Kellin started, but I didn’t let him finish.
“The other day when you kissed me and I kissed you back? Yeah, that was nothing, according you…and me.” I went back to writing.
“Yeah, I know. I was just making sure,” he said with his head down. “Are you done with the song yet?”
“Almost! I got everything done but I feel like a girl should be singing this part. In my lyrics, it says ‘and she said, if you were me, you'd do the same, cause I can't take anymore, I'll draw the shades and close the door, everything's not alright and I would rather…,’ you know what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, I do actually. Get a girl to sing it for you,” he suggested.
“That’s what I’m thinking. But who?”
“You know that girl Lindsey Stamey in our 4th hour? She’s a great singer. You should get her to do it!”
“I’ve heard her sing before. She’s great! Maybe I’ll take a look into that. But for now, I need to work on the guitar parts.”
“So that part you sang to me the other night was for Jaime?”
“Uhhh…yeah. Sorry, man. You wanted me to sing to you and I thought of singing that to you and you told me it was nice.”
“Yeah, I know. But still…I wish it really was for me.”
~~~
-3 days later-
We were working on our projects in Biology. I decided to head over to Lindsey and Jenna.
“Hey, Linds! Sup, Jenna!” I waved, placing my notebook on the counter. I took a quick glance at Jaime and he was staring at me. I quickly stood in front of my notebook so he couldn’t see my lyrics. I turned around and ignore him. “You sing, don’t you?” I directed towards Lindsey, who was all smiles.
“Yeah,” she cheered. “What’s up?”
“I need a favor. You see these lyrics? I’m doing an acoustic song on this and I want you to help me with it. Can you come over later so we can work on it?”
“Sure! I’d be delighted. I’ll be there!” she happily said, clapping her hands.
“What about me, Victor?!” Jenna pouted, crossing her arms against her chest. “I sing too.”
“I’ll see what I can do. But for now, I’m asking her for this one, alright?” I hugged Jenna and pecked her a kiss on the cheek. She blushed a little and went back to working with Lindsey.
~~~
“I think I’ve got the guitar parts down,” I said, holding my pic in my hand.
“Alright, well lets get started!” she jumped.
I sat my guitar in my lap and began to strum away.
When I got to her part, I said, “Right before you go into your verse, let me take a very quick pause. Like when I say ‘and she said,’ I’ll take a brief one second pause and then you start up your part. Get it?”
She nodded and I went into the chorus.
When the song was over, I gave her a hug and thanked her.
I think this might actually work! I’m so excited for Jaime to hear this! He’s going to fucking love it! Hell, I might even consider doing an actual song, not an acoustic one. But I still need to hear what Jaime and Tony got going on first before I let them in. And we need a change of name. Yesterday’s Mistakes just doesn’t fit anymore. But listen to me, I’m getting way ahead of myself. All in due time. I just need to be patient.
“You know, this song seems very meaningful. Did you write it for someone in particular?” Jenna asked me.
“Huh, what? Uh, no! No, I didn’t.” I hope she doesn’t suspect anything. Do I sound nervous? “I’m in a band, so it’s for our fans.”
“Oh, right.” She stood up walked to the door. “Thanks for letting me do the part. Maybe I’ll be in a band myself, just like you.”
“Maybe. And hey, Linds…you’re welcome,” I smiled.
-4 days later; 1 week-
6th hour was ending and I was ready to see Jaime today. I was actually super excited to talk to him and sing the song I sang with Lindsey. Even though I haven’t talked to him in a while, it was worth the wait. But it’s over and I wanna see him. I miss him. I miss snuggling into his shoulder. I miss his warm smile. I miss his soft touch. I miss his lips on mine. I just fucking miss him so much.
~~~
“Have you talked to Jaime at all?” I asked Mike, flipping channels because there was absolutely nothing on TV.
“No, I haven’t,” he said, completely not caring like he always does. “I thought you’d be talking to him, knowing he’s yo man,” he winked.
I thought to myself for a second. Was he being a smartass or was he being serious?
“Actually, I haven’t talk to him in a few weeks. I was working on an acoustic song that I made for him. I didn’t want him near me because he would be my biggest distraction. But it’s finished and I wanna see him.”
“Oh,” Mike said, placing a Dorito in his mouth and crunching on it. “Call him?”
I did exactly that. It went straight to voicemail though.
“His phone is off,” I said, glaring at the screen, wishing it would flash his number.
“Go to his house.”
“He might be busy. I’m just gonna go for a drive.”
"What good is that gonna do you?"
I ignored him. I got in the car and started driving in a random direction. I didn’t know where I was going but I had to get out of the house. I was hoping that Jaime would call me but he didn’t. So I dialed up Caesar’s number. Maybe she knows why his phone is off.
“Hey, Vic!” a girly voice spoke.
“Hey, Caesar! Do you know why Jaime has his phone turned off? I tried calling him and it went straight to voicemail.”
“His phone is off? I didn’t know that.”
“Ok well, I’m going to hang up. That’s all I wanted to know.”
“See ya,” she said, closing the phone.
I hung up as well and turned a corner. Right before I pressed down on the gas to zoom away, I spotted someone standing on the wall of the Coronado bridge. Looks like he wants to jump! I better go stop him.
I pulled over and jumped out of the car. As I walked closer and closer, the person threw their arms up, head length, and was about to lean forward and fall.
He had black spiky hair. He wore tight jeans and red Vans with a blue shirt. If I’m not mistaken or if my eyes aren’t deceiving me, this person looked a lot like Jaime……….OH MY GOD! JAIME!
“Stop! Jaime, no!” I screamed, running as fast as I could over to him.
He quickly rotated his body, almost losing his balance. He had tears running down his face.
“Please get down from there! What ever you’re doing or thinking is wrong, Jaime! Please get down! Please!”
He turned back around, facing the direction of the water, ignoring me.
“Stop! Why are you doing this?! Who said something to you that’s making you do this?” I asked, slowly stepping up on the wall with him. He didn’t answer me. He only stared in my worried eyes. “Fuck this. If you jump, I’m jumping with you.”
“What? No! Why jump? No one broke your heart.”
“Wait, who hurt you? Who broke your heart?”
“…you did,” he said flatly.
“What? How did I break your heart?”
“Vic, if you don’t want to be near me, then just say so. But don’t agree to be my boyfriend and then push me away. Don’t not talk to me for so long and expect me to forgive you.”
I mentally faced palmed myself. “Shit. Ok, I have some explaining to do. I didn’t mean to push you away and if you thought that, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I was doing that.” I stepped down from the wall of the bridge. “I swear I’ll make it up to. But I never wanted you to think that I don’t love you or I pushed you away. I promise I’ll tell you everything, ok?”
“You p-promise?” Jaime stuttered, wiping away his tears.
“I promise,” I assured him. “Here, take my hand.” I extended my hand out. He only stared at me in doubt. “…please, Jaime, take my hand.”
He prolonged his arm out to me. I took his hand and pulled him down from the wall. I stood next to him for a second, staring in his sad eyes. I couldn’t hold back anymore. He scared the hell out of me. I cloaked my arms around his waist and buried my face in the crook of his neck.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I whispered in his ear. “Suicide isn’t the answer. Please, if you ever need to talk to someone about anything for any reason, I’m your go-to guy, alright? Don’t hesitate to tell me. I'm your boyfriend. I can’t lose you, Jaime. You don’t know what you mean to me.”
*Jaime’s POV*
“…you don’t know what you mean to me,” he said into my ear.
I slowly closed my eyes and circled my arms around Vic’s waist. I wanted to just break down and cry, but I didn’t. I can’t believe he actually cares. He said he didn’t push me away and that he would explain everything to me. Maybe I shouldn’t assume things if I’m not sure if they are true or not.
I squeezed him tighter. I let the tears fall from my eyes. “Vic…I honestly th-thought that you hated m-me.”
He pulled away from me. “I don’t hate you, love. Look, why don’t you sleep over my house tonight. If you can’t sleep, I’ll tell you everything, but if you’re tired then I can explain everything in the morning to you. Just remember, I’m here for you. Don’t think if someone doesn’t talk to you, you feel the need to end your life. You should think about the people that would miss you. Especially me.”
I kissed his cheek. We walked to his car and drove off.
The thing is, I did think about the people that would miss me. I just thought that he didn’t love me anymore, that he didn’t have interest in me the way he did before. But all is done and I still love him. How can I NOT forgive him? He’s perfect. He wouldn’t lie to me.
“Vic?”
“Yeah?”
“…tell me a story…”
“How are those lyrics coming along, Vic?” Kellin asked me, standing above my shoulder.
“Bro, it’s going great! I can’t wait for Jaime to hear what I’ve come up with. I’m gonna blow his mind!”
“Or his dick,” Kellin joked, veiling his mouth with his hand.
“Listen, bitch,” I began, picking up a chair and grasping it in my hands, getting ready to chuck it at him. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Just like a batter, I was determined to hit the nigga…as a joke. I smiled at him widely, acknowledging him that I was only kidding. Or was I?
“Nothing. I said nothing!” he surrendered, throwing his hands up and backing away.
I sat back down and continued working on my lyrics. These were the lyrics that I was writing for Jaime. He doesn’t know yet, but the reason I didn’t want him around me is because I wanted to work on this song. It was pretty much for him and I didn’t want him getting in the way of me writing it. If I’m with him, he’ll be my distraction and I wouldn’t be able to get any writing done.
“So about the other day,” Kellin started, but I didn’t let him finish.
“The other day when you kissed me and I kissed you back? Yeah, that was nothing, according you…and me.” I went back to writing.
“Yeah, I know. I was just making sure,” he said with his head down. “Are you done with the song yet?”
“Almost! I got everything done but I feel like a girl should be singing this part. In my lyrics, it says ‘and she said, if you were me, you'd do the same, cause I can't take anymore, I'll draw the shades and close the door, everything's not alright and I would rather…,’ you know what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, I do actually. Get a girl to sing it for you,” he suggested.
“That’s what I’m thinking. But who?”
“You know that girl Lindsey Stamey in our 4th hour? She’s a great singer. You should get her to do it!”
“I’ve heard her sing before. She’s great! Maybe I’ll take a look into that. But for now, I need to work on the guitar parts.”
“So that part you sang to me the other night was for Jaime?”
“Uhhh…yeah. Sorry, man. You wanted me to sing to you and I thought of singing that to you and you told me it was nice.”
“Yeah, I know. But still…I wish it really was for me.”
~~~
-3 days later-
We were working on our projects in Biology. I decided to head over to Lindsey and Jenna.
“Hey, Linds! Sup, Jenna!” I waved, placing my notebook on the counter. I took a quick glance at Jaime and he was staring at me. I quickly stood in front of my notebook so he couldn’t see my lyrics. I turned around and ignore him. “You sing, don’t you?” I directed towards Lindsey, who was all smiles.
“Yeah,” she cheered. “What’s up?”
“I need a favor. You see these lyrics? I’m doing an acoustic song on this and I want you to help me with it. Can you come over later so we can work on it?”
“Sure! I’d be delighted. I’ll be there!” she happily said, clapping her hands.
“What about me, Victor?!” Jenna pouted, crossing her arms against her chest. “I sing too.”
“I’ll see what I can do. But for now, I’m asking her for this one, alright?” I hugged Jenna and pecked her a kiss on the cheek. She blushed a little and went back to working with Lindsey.
~~~
“I think I’ve got the guitar parts down,” I said, holding my pic in my hand.
“Alright, well lets get started!” she jumped.
I sat my guitar in my lap and began to strum away.
When I got to her part, I said, “Right before you go into your verse, let me take a very quick pause. Like when I say ‘and she said,’ I’ll take a brief one second pause and then you start up your part. Get it?”
She nodded and I went into the chorus.
When the song was over, I gave her a hug and thanked her.
I think this might actually work! I’m so excited for Jaime to hear this! He’s going to fucking love it! Hell, I might even consider doing an actual song, not an acoustic one. But I still need to hear what Jaime and Tony got going on first before I let them in. And we need a change of name. Yesterday’s Mistakes just doesn’t fit anymore. But listen to me, I’m getting way ahead of myself. All in due time. I just need to be patient.
“You know, this song seems very meaningful. Did you write it for someone in particular?” Jenna asked me.
“Huh, what? Uh, no! No, I didn’t.” I hope she doesn’t suspect anything. Do I sound nervous? “I’m in a band, so it’s for our fans.”
“Oh, right.” She stood up walked to the door. “Thanks for letting me do the part. Maybe I’ll be in a band myself, just like you.”
“Maybe. And hey, Linds…you’re welcome,” I smiled.
-4 days later; 1 week-
6th hour was ending and I was ready to see Jaime today. I was actually super excited to talk to him and sing the song I sang with Lindsey. Even though I haven’t talked to him in a while, it was worth the wait. But it’s over and I wanna see him. I miss him. I miss snuggling into his shoulder. I miss his warm smile. I miss his soft touch. I miss his lips on mine. I just fucking miss him so much.
~~~
“Have you talked to Jaime at all?” I asked Mike, flipping channels because there was absolutely nothing on TV.
“No, I haven’t,” he said, completely not caring like he always does. “I thought you’d be talking to him, knowing he’s yo man,” he winked.
I thought to myself for a second. Was he being a smartass or was he being serious?
“Actually, I haven’t talk to him in a few weeks. I was working on an acoustic song that I made for him. I didn’t want him near me because he would be my biggest distraction. But it’s finished and I wanna see him.”
“Oh,” Mike said, placing a Dorito in his mouth and crunching on it. “Call him?”
I did exactly that. It went straight to voicemail though.
“His phone is off,” I said, glaring at the screen, wishing it would flash his number.
“Go to his house.”
“He might be busy. I’m just gonna go for a drive.”
"What good is that gonna do you?"
I ignored him. I got in the car and started driving in a random direction. I didn’t know where I was going but I had to get out of the house. I was hoping that Jaime would call me but he didn’t. So I dialed up Caesar’s number. Maybe she knows why his phone is off.
“Hey, Vic!” a girly voice spoke.
“Hey, Caesar! Do you know why Jaime has his phone turned off? I tried calling him and it went straight to voicemail.”
“His phone is off? I didn’t know that.”
“Ok well, I’m going to hang up. That’s all I wanted to know.”
“See ya,” she said, closing the phone.
I hung up as well and turned a corner. Right before I pressed down on the gas to zoom away, I spotted someone standing on the wall of the Coronado bridge. Looks like he wants to jump! I better go stop him.
I pulled over and jumped out of the car. As I walked closer and closer, the person threw their arms up, head length, and was about to lean forward and fall.
He had black spiky hair. He wore tight jeans and red Vans with a blue shirt. If I’m not mistaken or if my eyes aren’t deceiving me, this person looked a lot like Jaime……….OH MY GOD! JAIME!
“Stop! Jaime, no!” I screamed, running as fast as I could over to him.
He quickly rotated his body, almost losing his balance. He had tears running down his face.
“Please get down from there! What ever you’re doing or thinking is wrong, Jaime! Please get down! Please!”
He turned back around, facing the direction of the water, ignoring me.
“Stop! Why are you doing this?! Who said something to you that’s making you do this?” I asked, slowly stepping up on the wall with him. He didn’t answer me. He only stared in my worried eyes. “Fuck this. If you jump, I’m jumping with you.”
“What? No! Why jump? No one broke your heart.”
“Wait, who hurt you? Who broke your heart?”
“…you did,” he said flatly.
“What? How did I break your heart?”
“Vic, if you don’t want to be near me, then just say so. But don’t agree to be my boyfriend and then push me away. Don’t not talk to me for so long and expect me to forgive you.”
I mentally faced palmed myself. “Shit. Ok, I have some explaining to do. I didn’t mean to push you away and if you thought that, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I was doing that.” I stepped down from the wall of the bridge. “I swear I’ll make it up to. But I never wanted you to think that I don’t love you or I pushed you away. I promise I’ll tell you everything, ok?”
“You p-promise?” Jaime stuttered, wiping away his tears.
“I promise,” I assured him. “Here, take my hand.” I extended my hand out. He only stared at me in doubt. “…please, Jaime, take my hand.”
He prolonged his arm out to me. I took his hand and pulled him down from the wall. I stood next to him for a second, staring in his sad eyes. I couldn’t hold back anymore. He scared the hell out of me. I cloaked my arms around his waist and buried my face in the crook of his neck.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I whispered in his ear. “Suicide isn’t the answer. Please, if you ever need to talk to someone about anything for any reason, I’m your go-to guy, alright? Don’t hesitate to tell me. I'm your boyfriend. I can’t lose you, Jaime. You don’t know what you mean to me.”
*Jaime’s POV*
“…you don’t know what you mean to me,” he said into my ear.
I slowly closed my eyes and circled my arms around Vic’s waist. I wanted to just break down and cry, but I didn’t. I can’t believe he actually cares. He said he didn’t push me away and that he would explain everything to me. Maybe I shouldn’t assume things if I’m not sure if they are true or not.
I squeezed him tighter. I let the tears fall from my eyes. “Vic…I honestly th-thought that you hated m-me.”
He pulled away from me. “I don’t hate you, love. Look, why don’t you sleep over my house tonight. If you can’t sleep, I’ll tell you everything, but if you’re tired then I can explain everything in the morning to you. Just remember, I’m here for you. Don’t think if someone doesn’t talk to you, you feel the need to end your life. You should think about the people that would miss you. Especially me.”
I kissed his cheek. We walked to his car and drove off.
The thing is, I did think about the people that would miss me. I just thought that he didn’t love me anymore, that he didn’t have interest in me the way he did before. But all is done and I still love him. How can I NOT forgive him? He’s perfect. He wouldn’t lie to me.
“Vic?”
“Yeah?”
“…tell me a story…”
Notes
*title credit: Nickleback:)so Vic wasn't pushing him away on purpose. he just wanted to write him a song:)
Would really like to see a sequel :)
7/4/15