Worlds Over, Time to Die. Nothing Left but our Souls Inside.

I was sitting on a broken rock on a hill on watch. With my gun in hand, I sat silently, watching nothing but the still of the night. This used to be therapeutic for me, but now it's just draining.

It was almost midnight and the moon was full when Jess had snuck up on me. I was cleaning the barrel of my gun from the days of bloody zombie guts. I never expected her to come here, or even be awake right now.

I didn't really move at her presence though. I still sat semi-motionless, cleaning my gun when she lay a hand on my leg as she sat beside me. "Babe" she cooed.

To be honest, it was so beautiful to here her voice again. The sweet sound that I fell in love with. But I was cold. I didn't show any emotion.

She tried to get me to hold her hand, but I was unwilling to touch her. I'm so cold. She had asked me if I was okay and then kissed me on the cheek. Her sweet voice asking "are you okay" cracked something inside me. It's like the cold ice that is my heart broke.

Her hand sat on my shoulder as I began to sob. I haven't cried since I lost my parents. But that didn't matter. She held me tight as I became a crying mess.

I began to think of that night I tried to kill myself. I never had terrible feelings about my actions until now. Only now did I realised that my actions were completely stupid and so fucking selfish.
"I'm sorry... I'm so fucking sorry" I cried into her shoulder. But that's all I would say. I couldn't tell her why, or what I was thinking. She seemed to accept it.

But then, I started to cry for my parents. We have been searching for weeks for Kellin's family, and for his sake, I hope that they are alive. But it's been kinda hard for me. I still haven't had a chance to fully mourn my family. I never got to say goodbye. And I know so many other people didn't get to say goodbye for their families, but I watched mine die. It's still hard.

As if she read my mind, Jess spoke "if you want, when we reach Kellin's home, we can go out, and take a breather. Just you and me. And we can have a little ceremony for your family".
The idea warmed my cold, icy heart. "I'll think about it Jessica". After a short pause I told Jess to go inside.

---

We had reached Kellin's home, and next to little no surprise, we couldn't find them at Kellin's house. Mike and Kellin argued for most of the day and Alysha tried to mediate it. Vic was busy with Tony and his sisters trying to sort out the next best course of action. Jess and Danielle were walking around Kellin's house for anything that we could use, like blankets and food.

And me. Well I was sitting on the rooftop. On watch. Again. It's just routine for me to walk into a house first, take the first swing at any zombies then go watch out for more while everyone else collects stuff from houses we raid.

As I was sitting on the rooftop, I notice Mike brings Alysha outside to chat. Most likely with his problem with Kellin. I sort of sympathise with Mike though. It is kind of rough to see your girlfriend accidentally kiss one of your best friends and then have her still be best friends with him. But then at the same time, I agree with Alysha in saying that Mike needs to get over it and trust Alysha. It's sort of a sticky situation and with our lives on high alert right now, it's really hard to forgive and forget.

---

Kellin has had a rough day today, and so have the rest of us. We spent weeks travelling in hopes that we would find his family but we didn't. But we all hope they are safe somewhere else and we will find them. Kellin let us stay here for the night and help ourselves to anything. To be honest, he had no choice.

I had fallen asleep on the roof while on watch. I slept right through dinner. No one seemed to mind that I was asleep, I guess they could see outside for themselves with the massive Windows this house has. When I woke up, it was dark, but the lights inside the house were on. Apparently Kellin has a generator that still works.

I still sat on that roof, not coming down all day practically. Only once when I had to use the men's room. As I was sitting, patiently waiting, I hear a door below me open and close. Then hear I hear a sweet noise.

"Jaime, are you up there?" Jess calls softly.

"Yeah, I'm up here" I say back with an extremely croaky voice. I've barely spoken today and all I do is grunt and groan when beating zombies.

Jess climbed the ladder I had set up and handed me a plate of food. It was warm and comforting, just like her presence right now. I thanked her.

We sat in silence as I ate my dinner. It was sort of nice, but I could feel an awkward tension building. I know she is expecting something from me but I am just too cold to see it. She takes my hand and leads me down the ladder. Surprisingly, I moved. I didn't flinch and I didn't resist.

We walked for a few minutes before we stopped. I looked at her. "Remember when I told you that we would just take a breather, just us?" I nod at her question. "Well here we are, just us, having a breather" she smiled. Oh god I've missed that smile.

We sat on the ground rested up against a giant pine tree. Before all of this happened, Jess and I would usually walk down to the beach, and she'd sit in my lap and we'd watch the ocean. But now, she sat next to me, stiffly.

In the awkward silence, I began to think. I began to think back to how great my life was and how Jess was there beside me each time. I made the bold decision to ditch this ruthless, cold self and I placed my arm around her shoulders.

I turned her to face me. She seemed shocked at my sudden touch, but she relaxed in my hand like she used to. Both my hands held her cheeks and my eyes stared into the creamy chocolate eyes of hers.

"I love you so fucking much Jess" I say to her. A smile shot her face. The great, big, beautiful smile I fell in love with. This was my Jessica. And right now, that was all that mattered to me.

I kissed her so fucking hard, holding her face in my palms. She never resisted my lips, only embraced them with hers with the same force. We stayed like that, passionately kissing each other on the forest ground for god knows how long. I lost track of time ages ago. But that didn't matter.

She sat back into my lap like she used to. And the silence returned, but there was a warmth about it. But even in the glorious moment, my mind begins to bring my terrible thoughts back. My arms became tense around Jess.

"Jaime. What's wrong babe?". I took a long pause, breathing heavily. I had to tell her, but I did not know how.

"I have something to tell you"

Notes

Jaime is back!
how will Jess react?