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Worlds Over, Time to Die. Nothing Left but our Souls Inside.

October 9, 2015- Jessica Hattersley

The night was long, and driving was easier said than actually being done. We were finally in Oregon, on our way to find Kellin’s family, but we’ve been on the road for days, so we stopped. I decided to talk to my boyfriend, because I can, and nobody was going to stop me from doing it, i just wanted a hug. I know he lost his family, and i did too, but we only have each other and it seems that i don’t even exist for him anymore. I’ve been trying to reach to him, to be a support, but he seems to be in his own world, until i finally made my move, and saw the man I thought i would never see.

----

“Babe?” I look at his brown eyes as he cleans his gun with a semi dirty cloth. He doesn’t make a slight move to see me. I sit next to him and put my hand on his leg. “Jaime?” He stops moving his hand, and just stays still, not willing to touch me in anyway. I was about to move my hand when his hand cups mine, and he places a small kiss on the back of my hand. “you okay?” He shakes his head, and I plant a kiss on his cheek, he sighs as i lay my head on his shoulder. It was late at night.. than he begins to sob. His shoulders bounce as i hug my man a little tighter, and his hand tightens. “Let it all out…” I say, my voice cracking. He kept on sobbing and he drops the gun on the floor, making me move my feet as a reflex, afraid that it would fire itself. He moves his body and I wrap my arms around his neck. “ I l love you.. “ I repeated as we both cried. I pass my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down.
“I’m sorry baby.” he cried. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. it was my fault. I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry.” He didnt say anything after, we just stayed in each other’s arms. “I…” He doesn’t continue his sentence, and it made me ache, into thinking what he wanted to say to me. What he wanted me to know. He kisses my cheek and than my forhead, but never my lips.
“If you want. when we reach to Kellin’s home, we can go out, and take a breather. Just you and me, and we can have a little ceremony for your family.” I whisper, not knowing what he would think about my idea.
“Ill think about it, Jessica.” Jessica. He never called me by my full name. It was always Jess. “Im going outside. Stay inside.” I nod and he tries to smile, I lean in to kiss his lips, but he turns his head, making me kiss his cheek.
“Stay safe out there” He nods, grabs his gun, loads it and walks outside.
Leaving me with a broken heart, mind and soul
.

----


He’s still outside as I continue to think about what we are now. Like he’s pushing me away. All the relationships are falling apart right now, and it feels very awkward when we’re in that van, traveling. The breeze is cool tonight, maybe we will have an easy night, but maybe we wont. Im going out there. It not my night, but i can’t just sit here, and do nothing. I’m going to make myself useful again, even if it means i have to endanger my life to save the ones that have something to look forward to. What do i have? Nothing and as of right now… No one. I was never the one to see myself as useless or hopeless. Planning to leave and just meet fate was a plan, but i don’t want to hurt Jaime more than he already is. I still care about him, but i feel like i’m alone, even though he’s next to me, holding my hand. That spark isnt there anymore… its faded. That’s why i need to clear my mind. Driving madde me think more. But me sitting around, waiting on good news is not making me stronger, not making us closer to our destination.
I will be out there. Not caring if i come back or not. I’m losing the person I care the most right now, slowly and the pain grows everyday, but I’m going out there. You bet I am.

i already lost control.
-Jessica Hattersley.


Notes

Looks like Jessica is slowly loosing it and Jaime.


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See ya soon
-Kenia

Comments

No not from VA just spent.a half hour researching beforehand. So glad you like it! And sorry about your heart, we feel your pain as well trust me, sometime we hate doing this to ourselves!

Devynleigh Devynleigh
8/5/16

I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT THE PROPOSAL AND THEN MY HEART BROKE INTO A MILLION PIECES AFTER TONYS ENTRY

LoveRiot LoveRiot
8/5/16

Is one of y'all from VA? Just curious cuz of the lil details about the botanical garden and stuff. (Tbh it made my heart flutter a bit cuz I was like "IVE BEEN THERE I KNOW WHERE THAT IS!!!" lol) A+ place for a proposal btw I like his plan

LoveRiot LoveRiot
8/5/16

@Mepenguin26
Well hot damn we got ourselves a theorist! and a Stephen King fan, I LIKE IT! haha

Merrp Merrp
8/4/16

OMG!!!! I'm so happy right now! Can this happen for real though?!
For some reason I fell like D.C has something to do with a quarantine. Like they get there but they find this wall of sorts and they're denied entry because they've been in the "infected" zone. It could be all of the zombie/disease books I've been reading, too. I read "The Girl with All of the Gifts" by M.R Carey before this story and just reread "Dreamcatcher" by Stephen King. Can't wait for more!

Mepenguin26 Mepenguin26
8/4/16