Worlds Over, Time to Die. Nothing Left but our Souls Inside.

After refusing Vic's requests for me to write in this journal, I finally decided I could use a good outlet for all of my emotions.

It's been a few weeks since the whole... apocolypse or whatever has happened. We hope that whatever has happened, has only happened to California but I doubt it.

A lot has gone on since that first earthquake and I'm not handling it very well. First, I found my best friend, Gabe, dead and that crushed me. How he even got outside that night still boggles my mind. Tony's girlfriend went missing and Jaime's family had all died and I had to watch my friends slowly start to break.

Vic had become the group leader and stayed behind with the girls and his parents when the rest of us went on supply runs, Alysha would tag along but only if Mike was there because he wouldn't allow her to get hurt or go on her own.

I had been assigned the role of guard at night and, on occasion, I would go on supply runs with Mike and someone else most likely Jaime. I had stayed quiet through most of this time giving an occasional shrug or nod when someone bothered to talk to me. I was constantly thinking back to how I used to live and if I would ever see my family again. Nobody really bothered with me because they all thought I was just being strong when in reality I was just trying not to break in front of all of them.

At night is when I would finally let it all out when no one was there and one night sticks in my mind. I had been guarding and a few of these zombie-like creatures came by and my heart almost shattered when I saw that one of them was Gabe. I tried so hard to not have to kill my best friend but I had to or else I would be dead. I had to cringe away when I bashed his head in.

As soon as I did, I fell to my knees and burst into tears. I didn't notice that Alysha had watched the whole thing unfold from the small window in the storage unit we were staying at. She comforted me and I really appreciated it. Mike was lucky to have such an amazing caring girl like her.

Her and I gave Gabe a "proper" burial and didn't tell anyone what had happened. In such a small group of people, of friends, it would be hard to keep secrets and I found that out rather quickly.

You see, after Gabes burial, Alysha and I had become pretty close. She was like my rock, someone who was just there if I needed to talk, until I find my wife and kids.... If I find them at all. Anyways, one night while I was on guard duty she came out through the window and startled me. She had come out for a cigarette; I didn't smoke much but when she offered I took a puff and choked on it. She had asked me how I was and to be honest, I was begnning to crumble. I had just shrugged, keeping my silent streak going instead of talking about how everyone had the loves of their lives to hold at night and I was still trying to find my love and still trying to keep it in my head that my family is still alive though the thought was starting to waver after killing Gabe. What if I had to kll them too because they had become zombies? She started to walk away

"Al?" I said quietly.

"Yeah, Kells?" She responded and looked down at me.

"I miss them..." I said while looking at my feet sadly.

"I know you do." She said sympathetically and kissed my forehead gently.

I stood up and pulled her in close for a hug. She was the only person in this whole group that has cared enough to ask how I was doing even knowing that I wouldn't answer. She was a trooper herself but to go out of her way to ask how I was just made me so happy and before I knew it, our lips had touched. I had only gone in to give her a friendly kiss on the cheek as a thank you for caring about me but she had moved her head at the wrong, or right, moment; depends on how you see it.

Our eyes widened and I could see the confusion and regret in her eyes and I knew that I had fucked up. She had quickly turned away to go back inside but stopped when she saw Vic. He had seen us kiss. He was just as wide eyed as we were. I hadn't kissed her with the intentions of causing trouble but trouble did it so cause.


It took a couple days for someone to tell Mike about it, I'm not too sure if it was Vic or Alysha but he came after me and now I have a black eye and the whole group is just tense. Alysha was now shunned by Mike and Vic's parents and I had been shunned by pretty much everyone.

Nobody looked at me like I was the married man who was just looking for his family, No, they now looked at me like a homewrecker and I hated it. Hopefully Mike will hear me out one of these days and forgive me but I won't hold it against him if he doesn't. Mike and Alysha argued regularly throughout the day and I hated that I had caused an unintentional rift between them.


We're gonna start moving and try to get out of Cali and somehow to Oregon but maybe I should just go off on my own. I've caused so much trouble between the group and I feel like the only reason we have to get moving is so we can find my family. They shouldn't have to carry that responsibility that's mine to bear.


I guess that's it for now. I probably wont be writing much in this thing but it helped a lot to let it all out. To anyone who reads this journal, I hope everything is okay in the world now. I hope you are happy to be alive and don't take things for granted, you never know when it will all disappear.

-KQ

Notes

Hey there everyone! I'm Becca AKA Merrp and I'm excited to be apart of this and writing as Kellin! All the other authors are so nice and I'm glad that they asked me to be a part of this!

I hope you're enjoying this story so far, if so, let us know in the comments!

Thanks for reading and don't forget to subscribe/rate/comment!
~Becca xx