I Introduce The Selfish Machine

I sat in the bed, staring at a photo of Payton. I didn't want to admit it, but she looks so much like Leanna. She's three months old, and so happy. I wish Leanna could see her. Payton's big, hazel eyes and black peach fuzz. She's Leanna's twin. I bit my lip and put the picture face down. I didn't even want to look at it.
Tony walked into the bedroom with purple tulips in his hand. "Happy birthday, my love." He said softly. He walked over to the bed and placed them in front of me.
"I completely forgot it was January 14." I replied, running a finger over a tulip petal.
Tony sat down next to me and ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, I figured you did. But it's your birthday and, that's cause to celebrate. I was hoping I mean, if you want to, we can go on a date tonight."
I smiled at Tony. He knew it was fake, but I smiled anyway. "That sounds great, babe. Thanks."
He kissed my cheek. "I'm going to practice, but I'll be home soon, okay? I know you probably don't want me practicing on your birthday but-"
I kissed his lips softly. "It's okay, just go." I said. Tony got off the bed and walked out slowly. Once he shut the door, I reached underneath my bed to find a photo album.
Leanna had passed on October 3, 2011. It was three months ago, but it still hurt. I thought after losing my dad, I was never capable of feeling love or pain again, but here I am, still crying over my sister's death.
I opened up the pink photo album to see the first picture that was placed there. I couldn't help but laugh. There stood 14 year old Piper, with her hair curled and tied up. I was wearing a short, white dress for homecoming, the one Leanna wore the year before. Next to 14 year old Piper was 16 year old Leanna, in a pale blue dress. 2002. A really hard year for us, but I still remember this day like it was yesterday.

"Don't you dare get near me with that brush." I said, moving my head so Leanna couldn't put blush on my face.
"Oh Pipe! Calm down. You can wear a little makeup for the homecoming dance." Leanna said. She was sitting in a chair across from me, applying my makeup so I looked good for the dance tonight.
"I don't even want to go." I complained as the blush met my cheek. I wanted to move, but Leanna had a hold on my chin.
"But you have to."
"Why? I'll just go my senior year."
"No you won't."
"You're right, I won't. But why do I have to go?" I asked. Leanna let go of the grip she had on my cheek and switched the brushes out. She now had a smaller, pointy one that was headed for my eyes. I closed them in fear.
"Because, a senior boy asked you. Piper, you're a freshman and you're going with a senior! Not just any senior, the star quarterback! Do you know how many girls, including me, wish they could be you right now?"
"Why do you wish you could be me? You're going with Jacob."
She blew on my face. I felt like a freaking dog, or a doll. I couldn't figure out which. "Yeah, but Jacob's a band nerd. It's only a high school relationship."
"Still, I don't want to go." I said. Leanna handed me a small, gold tube. I pulled off the top to reveal a pale pink lipstick. I shook my head, not wanting to put more crap on my face, but Leanna was staring at me, so I did it anyway.
"All you have to do is smile, dance with Jeff, and act like you want to be there." She said, applying her own lipstick now.
I didn't want to dance with Jeff. I didn't want to dance with anybody. I was going, but only for the snacks and punch. I heard it was great, but only from Leanna, so who knows how good it actually is.
I stood up, all dressed and ready. I walked into my bedroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I look so awkward. I'm so skinny in this dress, my arms just hang out. I'm also way too pale. Why did Jeff ask me? It's not like I'm pretty or a cheerleader or anything. I hang out with the videogame nerds, he shouldn't even know who I am. I took a deep breath, trying to keep a good attitude about this.
Leanna stepped in my room, looking like a super model. Geez, Leanna is gorgeous. Why can't I look like her? Everything fits her perfectly and her smile is just great. I'm the ugliest of the sisters.
She stood next to me, looking at me through the mirror. "Piper, if you feel even the least bit uncomfortable tonight, come and find me. I don't want you to be worried about anything. I'm always here for you and I love you."
I haven't told anyone I loved them since my dad died. "I love you, too." I said, and I meant it.
My mom swung open the door to the bedroom. "Jeff and Jacob are here girls!" She said in a sing-song voice.
I closed my eyes and sighed, taking a step to leave my room. My mom pushed me back to Leanna. "I need a pictures of my girls before you get with the boys!" She cried.
Leanna wrapped her arm around my waist, pulling me close to her. I made a stank face and FLASH! mom got a picture of that.
"Now go, girls! Have fun and be safe!" She said.
I walked to the stairs with Leanna, seeing Jeff and Jacob standing at the front door. Leanna leaned in to my ear. "I just want you to be happy and have fun." And then she walked down the stairs to meet our dates.

"I just want you to be happy and have fun." That's all Leanna ever lived for, was the joy of others. She wants me to miss her, but to still be happy. I took the picture out of the fold and held it against my heart. I felt my eyes fill with tears and I began to cry for the first time since she died. "I love you, Lee." I said softly through my tears. "I'll be strong for you." I then took the picture and placed it back into the album. I got up, and walked over to the closest. In there was Leanna's maid-of-honor dress. I took the pastel blue dress off the hanger and began to put it on my body.

I walked into the living room to see Tony sitting on the couch in a black flannel that was button up and black khaki shorts. He stood up as soon as he saw me.
"You look great." He said, not taking his eyes off the dress. He knew it was Lee's, but didn't say anything about it.
I walked towards him and hugged him tightly. Tony was a bit taken back, but wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me. "Thank you for being so supportive and helpful these past three months. It's so hard and it's always going to be hard, but I couldn't do it without you to comfort me." I said into Tony's chest.
He rubbed his hand on my back. "I love you, Piper. I will be with you for better or worse, and I'll always be your rock." He said. I pulled away, then stood on my toes to kiss him softly. He smiled, and I smiled at him, a real smile for the first time in months. "Now, we have to get going or we'll be late."

I walked into The Cheesecake Factory to see a table full of my friends.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIPER!" They all shouted at once. I smiled, hugging each one of them. Jaime picked me up and spun me, Mike gave me a fist bump, Seren kissed my cheek and held me (causing a bit of a cry-fest between the two of us), Vic gave me a awkward side hug, then came Jacob. He saw the dress and I watched his eyes fill with tears. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"She wants us to be strong. That's why I wore her dress, to remind both you and I to stay strong. She knows we miss her." I whispered soft enough so only he heard me.
"I know, I know. Thank you for being strong for me, I'll be strong for you." He said, then pulled away. I looked around.
"Where's my little Pay Day!" I asked, wanting to hold that ball of fat I call my niece. I looked at Jacob, who nodded his head behind me. I turned around to see Payton in the arms of my mother, who was accompanied by her new husband.
"Happy birthday, princess." My mom said. I walked over and took my niece, holding her close to me and tickling her. She looked just like Leanna, she's so lucky. I gave Payton to Tony and then hugged my mom tight.
"Thanks mom, I love you." I said.
"I love you." She said. I pulled away and introduced myself to her new husband, Josh. He was a pretty cool dude, and I know that Leanna would want me to be positive about him.
I sat down at the table with everyone, laughing and drinking wine. Leanna would have loved to be here for this, and I wanted her here. I got sad, but I didn't react. I smiled, joking with Jaime. She wants me to be happy, and I want to be happy for her. That's all my sister ever wanted, to spread joy to anyone she met, and I'm going to do that for her.

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