Caraphernelia
Chapter 4 : The Show // Sykes
The show is so electrifying. It had been ages since I’ve attended any rock concert that blows me away such as this. The last rock concert that I went to was My Chemical Romance during one of their show in London, like a few years back. However, I do not remember enjoying their concert as much I am enjoying Pierce the Veil show, especially when I am currently honour to be standing at the side of the stage while the band is playing at a full crowd of the concert arena.
Nora is absolutely enjoying the music and as she got lost herself with all the jumping and rocking on to the songs, there has been numerous times that I have to drag her back to my side before she got the chance of moving to the stage of where the band is playing. She had sings out loud to every word of the band songs. I’m not that familiar with most of the song lyrics, except for Caraphernelia and King for the day songs.
Meanwhile Jaime wouldn’t stop glancing at my direction. And at every time our eyes met, what can I really do than giving him my supposedly utmost supportive gestures of wide grins and dance like crazy girl. But of course, even without him watching me over, my eyes wouldn’t stray far away from him. His performance on stage, especially his interaction with the audiences, in which he encouraging them to sing to their songs, and just rocking on the bass guitar, is totally phenomenal.
I could still remember during our high school very own rock concert, Jaime was in the band and he played the bass guitar like now. At that time, I could not understand of why he refused to be the band singer instead he asked Austin to be the band lead vocalist. To me, Austin is a very good singer but I’m sure Jaime is better off as the band vocalist as he too had a good voice.
During that rock concert, most of the participating bands could only try to play good rock music but less interaction. Unlike Jaime and Austin band, they really rock out with their loud and precise songs that they playing. And let’s not forget their performances; they were jumping around to the beat of the rock songs. Their performances were much more energetic and alive, compared to the other bands.
It shown greatly on the audiences as they too get off their chairs and rock on along with the band that playing on stage. And that band belongs to Jaime and Austin.
“Remembering the past again, my friend?” I quickly turn around to the direction of the voice. It is Austin. Smiling his signature smile that he always used to charm the skirt off the girls back in high school and I remember the only 2 girls that failed to fall to that charm smile of his, are me and Bonnie.
Bonnie, I missed her much.
Automatically, our bodies envelope into an embrace, and I’m still in his embrace as we stood watching Pierce the Veil performing on stage.
After a long while, I say, “So proud for the both of you. You guys now in a band with a great followers of fans of all ages that looks up to you guys, both in music and as inspirational persona. Couldn’t be more proud, you know?” So sudden I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, and before I could stop myself, I let out a sob that Austin pick up clearly, despite the loud music from stage.
“Hey...hey...hey, don’t cry, ma Cherie!!” He let go of me and pull me in front of him, as his finger wiping the tear off my cheeks, but instead of my back facing the stage, I manage to hold on my position with me facing Jaime while he’s strutting his bass guitar. And my eyes never left him.
“This is just tears of joy, Austin!!” I laugh through my tears.
“I know, I know but still, please stop crying, sweetie.” He leans in and kisses my forehead, “Me and Jaime are proud of you too. You have made it and becoming a chef that has a restaurant under your belt.”
I nodded. He did not know exactly of why I’m back in San Diego again and I have no intention to let anyone know the actual reason. I just hugged him again. However our alone time had been short-live with the arrival by someone tapping Austin shoulder, in which he has to pull me off his arm.
“Sorry to disturb yah. But I kind of bore back in there.” With his hands pointing to the direction of the back stage and I’m stoked with his British accent.
“So you thought you might as well come here and interrupt my quality moment with this lovely lady here. Hahaha...” said Austin laughing jovially to the British dude who just smile sheepish in return. Both men have one thing in common and that are fully bodied tattoos. And like Austin and Mike, this guy also has tattoo embroidered around his Adam’s apple and the rest of his neck.
Without waiting for Austin to introduce us, the guy offer his hand to me, his smile on his handsome face, “I’m Oli. Oliver Sykes. Please to meet you.”
“Marcela Ramos nee Torres”
“So that’s your husband name. Now that I know of.” This comes from Austin and together with Oli, turns to look at me in surprise. But not much surprise, with a mix of disappointment on Oli face. Or did I just imagine it?
“Yes, that’s my husband’s name but I don’t mind if you want to stick to Torres. Because the last time I’ve checked that I’m not with him.” For a while, my attention drifted to the British dude in front of me and not to the band on stage.
“Dear husband not around, aye?”
“Well, he was rather busy back home...digging his own grave.”
“Oh I see.” I’m not sure if he understand me, with the puzzled look that he is giving me, but who really cares about it?
Now back on the stage, Pierce the Veil had just ended playing their last song. Walking delightfully to my direction, with both Austin and Oli on my sides, it is clearly shown on his face of pure annoyance. Maybe catching Austin again with me after painstakingly getting rid of the band Of Mice & Men lead vocalist before the start of their show.
Immediately, Jaime pulls me in his arm and I am just gladly to welcome the gestures. However, almost immediately he tries to push me away, “Ops...I’m all sweaty. I should not hug you with me drench on my own sweat.”
I just shake my head while keeping my hand on his, and say, “No worries. I’m sweating too.” leaning up to kiss his sweaty cheeks.
“Woah...Didn’t see that coming. Well, can I and Austin too have that kisses?” asked Oli teasingly. I know he meant it as a joke but not for Jaime. Instead he holds me much tighter while giving a death glare to the British dude. Sensing Jaime not too happy faces on several occasions before, Austin quickly make an excuse to join his band back stage and dragging Oli with him.
I could hear Oli saying to the chagrin Austin, “I just meant it to be a joke. Why is he angry for?”
Jaime trains his eyes on the retrieving back of the 2 men. His gripped on my shoulder is way bit of discomforting for me. “Jaime?” My soft voice capture his attention as he turn to look at me. “Go change. I wait you at the reception area. Okay?”
Jaime nodded. Before he left for the band tour bus, he playfully pats Nora head, which is in deep conversation with Vic Fuentes. I could hear their conversation much clearer now that I am left alone to wait for Jaime to get change and for Nora to end her conversation with Vic. Apparently, Nora had been asking Vic of his tips on song writing. I could not help but smile to realise that the possibility of Nora to consider pursuing a career as composer would create a chaotic outrage in the family. Her mother would be livid most definitely.
After sometime, Vic too excuses himself to get back to the touring bus and Nora is all but giving me her happiest smile. “Don’t tell me you are considering of a career as musician or be a composer?” the first thing I asked as she join me. She nodded, “I am and after that talk with Vic just seal the deal with my future career.” Sighing
“But aunt,” she said almost immediately as I am about to usher her to the back stage and then to the reception area of the arena. I nodded for her to continue her conversation. “I need to get home right away. Because I have an urgent club meeting. I received a text from my club vice president a while ago when you were in conversation with the lead vocalists of the bands Of Mice & Men and ‘Bring me the horizon.”
I nodded. In my mind, I tried to plan out a way to keep my promise to Jaime and I could only think that we still have the chance to hang out after we send Nora home. “By the way, Oliver Sykes the lead vocalist of ‘Bring me the horizon? Are they any good like Pierce the Veil?”
“O.M.G!! You can’t just compare these 2 awesomeness bands. They are incomparable aunt! But I suggest that you should just listen to their latest album Sempiternal, one of the best albums!!”
“Ok I surely gonna listen to this great album. Sempiternal...” I typed in the name of the album in my Android note book as both of us walk to the direction of the reception area.
“I thought you might know Oliver Sykes. Just like you know Austin.” She asked me, curiously.
“Austin, Jaime and me went to the same high school before. And I never stay in London to know Oli Sykes.” I looked just in time to watch Jaime jogging towards us. “She needs to head back home. And I thought we should send her home first before going out to grab supper together.”
“Ok, we drive her home,” turning to Nora, “Too bad we can’t hang out my dear.”
“It’s ok. I just got the feeling that you might stick around longer in her life,” her replies as she pointed to me. I swatted her back to the laughing Jaime. “I sense that happening too.”
As I dropped off Nora at her house, she insists that we should not walk her up to the porch. Both of us just decided to watch her from my car as she walks towards her house porch. When she safely enters her house, I drive my car in the direction of my house. “I have a better idea. How about we head back to my house where I could cook something better for us to eat, rather than eating at those diners joint?”
“Well, let’s get going now.”
The situation in the car is a bit tense and quiet. I just left Jaime to his thoughts and, maybe for him to rest a bit after the show a while ago. I could not believe it that after all these years, I finally found him. But it will be nicer if tonight meeting had happen 5 years earlier, so that I won’t have to go through that agony period in my life. Then again, I would not want it in other way.
“You got a nice neighbourhood here. It does look so elite and glamour for the rich and famous folk.” Jaime breaks the silence as I am manoeuvring my car to the lane to my house. I have nothing to say about that. I did asked my sister Miriam to finds me a decent place – nothing too flashy and rich, for me to spend my stay here, but according to her, this is the best she could get for me, so I won’t complain about it. I have everything handy here. The house is just a few drives away from my step-sister house and it facing the ocean view which I love most.
“Is that a crime to live like this when you can afford it? The only thing that I love about this neighbourhood is the ocean view.” We have by now reached my house compound and I have decided to just park the car at the curb of the front lawn of my 3-storeys bungalow.
“Hey, don’t get offended. Well, the thing is that the Marcela that I once knew would not be living in this kind of location.” He explained while we are walking, heading towards the main entrance of the large house.
“Well, that Marcela had long gone. And besides, what do you really know about her?” There is an edge to my voice, somehow there is an unknown anger bubbling inside me and it is rising on the surface now. ‘Calm down, Cela. Don’t ruin this night. Your only chance to amend anything that needs to be amends.’
“She’s not this sensitive.” He looks at me with a frown on his forehead. We look into each other eyes. For just a mere second, I could sense the ‘forbidden feeling’ that I used to have for him long time ago. But I quickly pull myself away for the wishful thinking.
Looking away, I say softly, “Things change, Jaime. I’ve changed. Now, I’m no longer a single woman but a divorcee with dead husband and a dead son too. Lots of things had happens in my life. Things that I regretted and things that I would not have it another way but appreciated that it has happen in my life so far.” I gestured him to follow me to the kitchen which is facing the ocean view.
As we making our way to my most favourite room in my house, I sneak back to his serious face. I wonder, “You don’t seem surprise to learn of my failed marriage. Why?”
I heard him sighing, “Austin had told me.” He taps my shoulder so I stop to turn back to him. Facing him now, I know almost immediately of what he wants to say. I don’t want his sympathy out of everything but I just let him continues to what he wants to say, “I’m sorry about your son.”
I averted my eyes away from his face. “It’s okay. He was just too young to leave me. God, Jaime he was just 3 years-old. But it’s okay now.”
“Losing a son that young and the way you had lost him, it will never be okay, Cela. If it happens to m-“
“Jaime, please listen to me?” I pleaded, now again my tears threaten to fall. “I don’t need your pity. You of all people, please save your sympathy for someone worth it.”
Jaime started to argue but with the looks that I am giving him that clearly shows that I will murder him with the Chef knife that my hand has now pulling off the stack of knives on my kitchen counter, he stop and walk a distance away from me, standing in front of the closed door porch.
“Okay I will respect your request. But why?” he asked, trying to control his anger. He is pacing back and fro at the same place while I still rooted at the same spot, near the kitchen counter.
“There is no use to dwell on the past. It will bring no good and it won’t change anything at all!”
Silence, but he did not stop his pacing, he just stop asking question.
It is me who decided to break the silence and let it out of what I assume he wants me to explain of my actions. “Look, I am so sorry for what I’ve did long times ago. I should at least send you note of my leaving you but I just can’t let the opportunity goes pass me for me not to grab.”
Half truth, not entirely the whole truth behind my leaving but there is no need for Jaime to realise it now, or ever.
“Then, why did you leave me?”
“I did not leave you.” Jaime turns to my direction with a face that says ‘You got to be kidding me’. I can’t tell him the whole truth but parts of it. I say, “I leave us behind to join my father back in Camas.”
“Camas, as in Sevilla parts of the cities in the country of Spain?” Jaime knows of my birthplace. He also knows about my parent divorce and my mom had the full custody of me, where she took me to live with her along with my step-father and my step-sisters.
Silence, but this time there is no tension between us. Jaime expectantly looks at me for me to elaborate my explanation. He now has stop pacing and just stands a few feet away from me and the kitchen counter.
“My father lawyer finds a solid evidence to overturn the custody of me in favour of my father. I could live again with my father in Camas.” What Jaime does not know is 2 things that are first, I was homesick and, I was literally a slave in my mother house back in the days.
“Is that what you want all along?” he asked. “I don’t really understand at all. Is there something that I am missing here? I thought you were happy.”
“Well, I’m not. I was homesick and I just hate to live with my mother and her new husband and everything that comes along with it. I was practically a slave in that hell house!!” I could not help it. Jaime forced me to relive the nightmare that I was put up with for all those years living under the same house with that evil vile Juan. But then again, Jaime did not know that until now.
“Why did you not tell me all of these? Am I not your best friend? Best friend tells everything with each other!!” Jaime voice had rise to an octave higher than before, his face too getting redder out of anger and it does really look scarier. Hot tears rushing down my cheeks and so does Jaime. We both crying and shouting at the same time. I just want all of these to stop.
“Please Jaime...please...stop thi-“I cough and cough so hard that I swear there is blood coming off my mouth. I am praying deep in my heart that please God, don’t let that ruin my night with Jaime. Don’t let him see me in that state.
Jaime comes rushing towards me but I got to push him away so that I can make sure there is no blood coming off my mouth. When there is none, the hand that fighting off Jaime from grabbing me from my back, loosen a notch. Jaime quickly grabbed my face as to wipe away my tear and while his other hand, patting my back to calm myself.
“Can we not discuss it more tonight? I promise you that one day I will tell you everything that you need to know about my so-call Cinderella story.” I tried to smile and I don’t exactly care if its works or not, but Jaime just nodded to my wish. He helps me to sit at the sofa near the fireplace at the other side of my large kitchen room. And he too sits by my side, as he pulls me to face him. We sit facing each other on the long sofa couch.
My hands entwine in his. “I am truly happy that to finally meet you after all the years that I left us behind in San Diego. And it is a lot to ask but will you able to forgive me?”
Jaime just nodded but still remains utterly quiet. He tightens his grasps on my hand. But I want to hear the words coming out from his mouth. “Can I hear it from you?”
“Best friends forgive each other mistakes and faults no matter.” He replied in a quivering voice. I’m not sure if he tries to hold down his anger or sadness. I’m voting for the latter.
“Well, can we be friend again like we used to before?” My last chance for redemption, the only chance for the reason I’m back in San Diego.
Jaime looks away from me and pulls his hands away from me. Am I not getting my last wish before I close my eyes forever?
I watch him averting his eyes away from me while he shakes his head in disbelieving upon hearing my asking. I tried to grab his hands in mine but he keeps slapping my hands away. I started to begin another bawling, but almost too sudden, Jaime grabs my face with his two hands and leaning down towards me. I staggered back to the armrest as he stops within inch away from my face and our lips.
Looking down to my now parted lips, as if readying for the collision of his lips to mine, he ever so softly say, “I’m sorry, Marcela. We can’t. As you said a while ago, there is no used in dwelling in the past. And I have no intention to dwell in the past but just for the future of us...together.”
“Kiss me already will you...”
Our lips collide in a perfect union.
Nora is absolutely enjoying the music and as she got lost herself with all the jumping and rocking on to the songs, there has been numerous times that I have to drag her back to my side before she got the chance of moving to the stage of where the band is playing. She had sings out loud to every word of the band songs. I’m not that familiar with most of the song lyrics, except for Caraphernelia and King for the day songs.
Meanwhile Jaime wouldn’t stop glancing at my direction. And at every time our eyes met, what can I really do than giving him my supposedly utmost supportive gestures of wide grins and dance like crazy girl. But of course, even without him watching me over, my eyes wouldn’t stray far away from him. His performance on stage, especially his interaction with the audiences, in which he encouraging them to sing to their songs, and just rocking on the bass guitar, is totally phenomenal.
I could still remember during our high school very own rock concert, Jaime was in the band and he played the bass guitar like now. At that time, I could not understand of why he refused to be the band singer instead he asked Austin to be the band lead vocalist. To me, Austin is a very good singer but I’m sure Jaime is better off as the band vocalist as he too had a good voice.
During that rock concert, most of the participating bands could only try to play good rock music but less interaction. Unlike Jaime and Austin band, they really rock out with their loud and precise songs that they playing. And let’s not forget their performances; they were jumping around to the beat of the rock songs. Their performances were much more energetic and alive, compared to the other bands.
It shown greatly on the audiences as they too get off their chairs and rock on along with the band that playing on stage. And that band belongs to Jaime and Austin.
“Remembering the past again, my friend?” I quickly turn around to the direction of the voice. It is Austin. Smiling his signature smile that he always used to charm the skirt off the girls back in high school and I remember the only 2 girls that failed to fall to that charm smile of his, are me and Bonnie.
Bonnie, I missed her much.
Automatically, our bodies envelope into an embrace, and I’m still in his embrace as we stood watching Pierce the Veil performing on stage.
After a long while, I say, “So proud for the both of you. You guys now in a band with a great followers of fans of all ages that looks up to you guys, both in music and as inspirational persona. Couldn’t be more proud, you know?” So sudden I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, and before I could stop myself, I let out a sob that Austin pick up clearly, despite the loud music from stage.
“Hey...hey...hey, don’t cry, ma Cherie!!” He let go of me and pull me in front of him, as his finger wiping the tear off my cheeks, but instead of my back facing the stage, I manage to hold on my position with me facing Jaime while he’s strutting his bass guitar. And my eyes never left him.
“This is just tears of joy, Austin!!” I laugh through my tears.
“I know, I know but still, please stop crying, sweetie.” He leans in and kisses my forehead, “Me and Jaime are proud of you too. You have made it and becoming a chef that has a restaurant under your belt.”
I nodded. He did not know exactly of why I’m back in San Diego again and I have no intention to let anyone know the actual reason. I just hugged him again. However our alone time had been short-live with the arrival by someone tapping Austin shoulder, in which he has to pull me off his arm.
“Sorry to disturb yah. But I kind of bore back in there.” With his hands pointing to the direction of the back stage and I’m stoked with his British accent.
“So you thought you might as well come here and interrupt my quality moment with this lovely lady here. Hahaha...” said Austin laughing jovially to the British dude who just smile sheepish in return. Both men have one thing in common and that are fully bodied tattoos. And like Austin and Mike, this guy also has tattoo embroidered around his Adam’s apple and the rest of his neck.
Without waiting for Austin to introduce us, the guy offer his hand to me, his smile on his handsome face, “I’m Oli. Oliver Sykes. Please to meet you.”
“Marcela Ramos nee Torres”
“So that’s your husband name. Now that I know of.” This comes from Austin and together with Oli, turns to look at me in surprise. But not much surprise, with a mix of disappointment on Oli face. Or did I just imagine it?
“Yes, that’s my husband’s name but I don’t mind if you want to stick to Torres. Because the last time I’ve checked that I’m not with him.” For a while, my attention drifted to the British dude in front of me and not to the band on stage.
“Dear husband not around, aye?”
“Well, he was rather busy back home...digging his own grave.”
“Oh I see.” I’m not sure if he understand me, with the puzzled look that he is giving me, but who really cares about it?
Now back on the stage, Pierce the Veil had just ended playing their last song. Walking delightfully to my direction, with both Austin and Oli on my sides, it is clearly shown on his face of pure annoyance. Maybe catching Austin again with me after painstakingly getting rid of the band Of Mice & Men lead vocalist before the start of their show.
Immediately, Jaime pulls me in his arm and I am just gladly to welcome the gestures. However, almost immediately he tries to push me away, “Ops...I’m all sweaty. I should not hug you with me drench on my own sweat.”
I just shake my head while keeping my hand on his, and say, “No worries. I’m sweating too.” leaning up to kiss his sweaty cheeks.
“Woah...Didn’t see that coming. Well, can I and Austin too have that kisses?” asked Oli teasingly. I know he meant it as a joke but not for Jaime. Instead he holds me much tighter while giving a death glare to the British dude. Sensing Jaime not too happy faces on several occasions before, Austin quickly make an excuse to join his band back stage and dragging Oli with him.
I could hear Oli saying to the chagrin Austin, “I just meant it to be a joke. Why is he angry for?”
Jaime trains his eyes on the retrieving back of the 2 men. His gripped on my shoulder is way bit of discomforting for me. “Jaime?” My soft voice capture his attention as he turn to look at me. “Go change. I wait you at the reception area. Okay?”
Jaime nodded. Before he left for the band tour bus, he playfully pats Nora head, which is in deep conversation with Vic Fuentes. I could hear their conversation much clearer now that I am left alone to wait for Jaime to get change and for Nora to end her conversation with Vic. Apparently, Nora had been asking Vic of his tips on song writing. I could not help but smile to realise that the possibility of Nora to consider pursuing a career as composer would create a chaotic outrage in the family. Her mother would be livid most definitely.
After sometime, Vic too excuses himself to get back to the touring bus and Nora is all but giving me her happiest smile. “Don’t tell me you are considering of a career as musician or be a composer?” the first thing I asked as she join me. She nodded, “I am and after that talk with Vic just seal the deal with my future career.” Sighing
“But aunt,” she said almost immediately as I am about to usher her to the back stage and then to the reception area of the arena. I nodded for her to continue her conversation. “I need to get home right away. Because I have an urgent club meeting. I received a text from my club vice president a while ago when you were in conversation with the lead vocalists of the bands Of Mice & Men and ‘Bring me the horizon.”
I nodded. In my mind, I tried to plan out a way to keep my promise to Jaime and I could only think that we still have the chance to hang out after we send Nora home. “By the way, Oliver Sykes the lead vocalist of ‘Bring me the horizon? Are they any good like Pierce the Veil?”
“O.M.G!! You can’t just compare these 2 awesomeness bands. They are incomparable aunt! But I suggest that you should just listen to their latest album Sempiternal, one of the best albums!!”
“Ok I surely gonna listen to this great album. Sempiternal...” I typed in the name of the album in my Android note book as both of us walk to the direction of the reception area.
“I thought you might know Oliver Sykes. Just like you know Austin.” She asked me, curiously.
“Austin, Jaime and me went to the same high school before. And I never stay in London to know Oli Sykes.” I looked just in time to watch Jaime jogging towards us. “She needs to head back home. And I thought we should send her home first before going out to grab supper together.”
“Ok, we drive her home,” turning to Nora, “Too bad we can’t hang out my dear.”
“It’s ok. I just got the feeling that you might stick around longer in her life,” her replies as she pointed to me. I swatted her back to the laughing Jaime. “I sense that happening too.”
As I dropped off Nora at her house, she insists that we should not walk her up to the porch. Both of us just decided to watch her from my car as she walks towards her house porch. When she safely enters her house, I drive my car in the direction of my house. “I have a better idea. How about we head back to my house where I could cook something better for us to eat, rather than eating at those diners joint?”
“Well, let’s get going now.”
The situation in the car is a bit tense and quiet. I just left Jaime to his thoughts and, maybe for him to rest a bit after the show a while ago. I could not believe it that after all these years, I finally found him. But it will be nicer if tonight meeting had happen 5 years earlier, so that I won’t have to go through that agony period in my life. Then again, I would not want it in other way.
“You got a nice neighbourhood here. It does look so elite and glamour for the rich and famous folk.” Jaime breaks the silence as I am manoeuvring my car to the lane to my house. I have nothing to say about that. I did asked my sister Miriam to finds me a decent place – nothing too flashy and rich, for me to spend my stay here, but according to her, this is the best she could get for me, so I won’t complain about it. I have everything handy here. The house is just a few drives away from my step-sister house and it facing the ocean view which I love most.
“Is that a crime to live like this when you can afford it? The only thing that I love about this neighbourhood is the ocean view.” We have by now reached my house compound and I have decided to just park the car at the curb of the front lawn of my 3-storeys bungalow.
“Hey, don’t get offended. Well, the thing is that the Marcela that I once knew would not be living in this kind of location.” He explained while we are walking, heading towards the main entrance of the large house.
“Well, that Marcela had long gone. And besides, what do you really know about her?” There is an edge to my voice, somehow there is an unknown anger bubbling inside me and it is rising on the surface now. ‘Calm down, Cela. Don’t ruin this night. Your only chance to amend anything that needs to be amends.’
“She’s not this sensitive.” He looks at me with a frown on his forehead. We look into each other eyes. For just a mere second, I could sense the ‘forbidden feeling’ that I used to have for him long time ago. But I quickly pull myself away for the wishful thinking.
Looking away, I say softly, “Things change, Jaime. I’ve changed. Now, I’m no longer a single woman but a divorcee with dead husband and a dead son too. Lots of things had happens in my life. Things that I regretted and things that I would not have it another way but appreciated that it has happen in my life so far.” I gestured him to follow me to the kitchen which is facing the ocean view.
As we making our way to my most favourite room in my house, I sneak back to his serious face. I wonder, “You don’t seem surprise to learn of my failed marriage. Why?”
I heard him sighing, “Austin had told me.” He taps my shoulder so I stop to turn back to him. Facing him now, I know almost immediately of what he wants to say. I don’t want his sympathy out of everything but I just let him continues to what he wants to say, “I’m sorry about your son.”
I averted my eyes away from his face. “It’s okay. He was just too young to leave me. God, Jaime he was just 3 years-old. But it’s okay now.”
“Losing a son that young and the way you had lost him, it will never be okay, Cela. If it happens to m-“
“Jaime, please listen to me?” I pleaded, now again my tears threaten to fall. “I don’t need your pity. You of all people, please save your sympathy for someone worth it.”
Jaime started to argue but with the looks that I am giving him that clearly shows that I will murder him with the Chef knife that my hand has now pulling off the stack of knives on my kitchen counter, he stop and walk a distance away from me, standing in front of the closed door porch.
“Okay I will respect your request. But why?” he asked, trying to control his anger. He is pacing back and fro at the same place while I still rooted at the same spot, near the kitchen counter.
“There is no use to dwell on the past. It will bring no good and it won’t change anything at all!”
Silence, but he did not stop his pacing, he just stop asking question.
It is me who decided to break the silence and let it out of what I assume he wants me to explain of my actions. “Look, I am so sorry for what I’ve did long times ago. I should at least send you note of my leaving you but I just can’t let the opportunity goes pass me for me not to grab.”
Half truth, not entirely the whole truth behind my leaving but there is no need for Jaime to realise it now, or ever.
“Then, why did you leave me?”
“I did not leave you.” Jaime turns to my direction with a face that says ‘You got to be kidding me’. I can’t tell him the whole truth but parts of it. I say, “I leave us behind to join my father back in Camas.”
“Camas, as in Sevilla parts of the cities in the country of Spain?” Jaime knows of my birthplace. He also knows about my parent divorce and my mom had the full custody of me, where she took me to live with her along with my step-father and my step-sisters.
Silence, but this time there is no tension between us. Jaime expectantly looks at me for me to elaborate my explanation. He now has stop pacing and just stands a few feet away from me and the kitchen counter.
“My father lawyer finds a solid evidence to overturn the custody of me in favour of my father. I could live again with my father in Camas.” What Jaime does not know is 2 things that are first, I was homesick and, I was literally a slave in my mother house back in the days.
“Is that what you want all along?” he asked. “I don’t really understand at all. Is there something that I am missing here? I thought you were happy.”
“Well, I’m not. I was homesick and I just hate to live with my mother and her new husband and everything that comes along with it. I was practically a slave in that hell house!!” I could not help it. Jaime forced me to relive the nightmare that I was put up with for all those years living under the same house with that evil vile Juan. But then again, Jaime did not know that until now.
“Why did you not tell me all of these? Am I not your best friend? Best friend tells everything with each other!!” Jaime voice had rise to an octave higher than before, his face too getting redder out of anger and it does really look scarier. Hot tears rushing down my cheeks and so does Jaime. We both crying and shouting at the same time. I just want all of these to stop.
“Please Jaime...please...stop thi-“I cough and cough so hard that I swear there is blood coming off my mouth. I am praying deep in my heart that please God, don’t let that ruin my night with Jaime. Don’t let him see me in that state.
Jaime comes rushing towards me but I got to push him away so that I can make sure there is no blood coming off my mouth. When there is none, the hand that fighting off Jaime from grabbing me from my back, loosen a notch. Jaime quickly grabbed my face as to wipe away my tear and while his other hand, patting my back to calm myself.
“Can we not discuss it more tonight? I promise you that one day I will tell you everything that you need to know about my so-call Cinderella story.” I tried to smile and I don’t exactly care if its works or not, but Jaime just nodded to my wish. He helps me to sit at the sofa near the fireplace at the other side of my large kitchen room. And he too sits by my side, as he pulls me to face him. We sit facing each other on the long sofa couch.
My hands entwine in his. “I am truly happy that to finally meet you after all the years that I left us behind in San Diego. And it is a lot to ask but will you able to forgive me?”
Jaime just nodded but still remains utterly quiet. He tightens his grasps on my hand. But I want to hear the words coming out from his mouth. “Can I hear it from you?”
“Best friends forgive each other mistakes and faults no matter.” He replied in a quivering voice. I’m not sure if he tries to hold down his anger or sadness. I’m voting for the latter.
“Well, can we be friend again like we used to before?” My last chance for redemption, the only chance for the reason I’m back in San Diego.
Jaime looks away from me and pulls his hands away from me. Am I not getting my last wish before I close my eyes forever?
I watch him averting his eyes away from me while he shakes his head in disbelieving upon hearing my asking. I tried to grab his hands in mine but he keeps slapping my hands away. I started to begin another bawling, but almost too sudden, Jaime grabs my face with his two hands and leaning down towards me. I staggered back to the armrest as he stops within inch away from my face and our lips.
Looking down to my now parted lips, as if readying for the collision of his lips to mine, he ever so softly say, “I’m sorry, Marcela. We can’t. As you said a while ago, there is no used in dwelling in the past. And I have no intention to dwell in the past but just for the future of us...together.”
“Kiss me already will you...”
Our lips collide in a perfect union.
Thank you!! I am currently writing the new chap now ^_^
5/16/13