The more I had thought about it, the more I'd started to think that my relationship with Tony wasn't really as strong as I wanted it to be. And, don't get me wrong, I did love him and he loved me. We did all sorts of couple-y things and spent a lot of time together and all, but something was missing and I was desperate to find that something.

I mean... Tony was most likely the love of my life or at least I thought so. And our relationship so far had been really exciting but the reason for that was the fact that our relationship – or sleeping together – had always been a secret. But, now, suddenly we were officially a couple and it was no longer a secret. And I figured that maybe that was the reason why it didn't feel the same anymore.

After meeting Jaxin and Natalie, the day I arrived to San Diego, time had flown past really fast. Tony and I had cleaned his room and I had put my stuff into the closet and carefully placed my toothbrush next to his in the bathroom and I felt like I lived there, now, too. Jaxin and Natalie had turned out to be awesome and they were really great roommates... Except that they were expecting a baby and I was sure that not Tony nor I could live with them forever.

After coming to Tony's hometown, he had been running around the place and doing all sorts of things like interviews, photoshoots and had spent most of his time at their studio discussing their upcoming tours. And what had I been doing? I had been looking for a job but hadn't really found anything. So, really, I had only spent most of my time in Tony's room doing nothing but watching TV and it had become really boring. Really.

It was a Friday night, a few weeks after my arrival, and I was laying on our bed and playing with my phone. Tony had been out the whole day, doing who knows what, when suddenly the door opened and he marched in. I dropped my phone and looked at him with my wide eyes.

”Come on, woman, put on one of your sexy dresses and let's go,” he said and then paused, trying to catch his breath.

”What?” I mumbled and cocked an eyebrow.

”Go get dressed. We're going out.”

”Who is?”

”You, me, the boys, everybody,” he told me.

”What?”

”Abby,” he groaned and walked over to the bed after closing the door, ”Have you spent too much time inside? Do you understand what I'm saying anymore?”

”Well it surely isn't my fault,” I mumbled, ”You're always somewhere so I have nothing to do so I have to stay in and watch TV.”

”But now I'm here to take you out,” he said with a grin.

Then he got on the bed and climbed on top of me and nearly crushed me with the weight of his body. He grabbed my face and held it between his hands as he leaned down closer to my lips. But he didn't kiss me.

”I'm sorry I left you alone,” he whispered against my mouth, ”I promise that you're the only thing on my mind tonight.”

”Tony...” I mumbled but was cut off by his soft lips.

He kissed me really gently, so gently that it was barely even a kiss. And that was when I realized that I had missed him and his lips. We did see each other every day and all, but we never really made out or had wild sex anymore and I missed it more than ever as I felt his body pressed against mine and his lips on my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed my body up and closer to his, trying to feel all of him at once as my lips tried to kiss him roughly. But what did he do? He just chuckled and rolled off my body, leaving me extremely frustrated – sexually frustrated – and annoyed.

”Get ready, babe, we're leaving in, like, ten minutes,” he murmured and winked before he sat up and got off the bed.

I sighed and laid still for another minute or so and just watched as he tried to decide which shirt to wear and what jeans to put on. And my god, as I looked at him, all I could think about was having sex with him and how great it was and how he knew exactly what I liked and, and, and... The more I thought about it, the more it turned me on. I started to think of all the things he could do to me and...

”Hey, Abby, get your ass up,” Tony demanded and turned to look at me, pulling me out of my deep (and naughty) thoughts.

”I'm like a horny teenager right now,” I admitted quietly before letting out a dramatic sigh.

”What?” Tony asked with a laugh, ”Don't I satisfy you, huh?”

”You do, yeah, but how long has it been since the last time we had sex, huh? A week? And just now, when you were laying on top of me and your body was so tightly against mine, I couldn't help but just... You know. I need you,” I mumbled.

”You're being very honest, Abby.”

”No, I'm just sexually frustrated,” I muttered and started to pout.

”Fine. Tonight, after we come back, I will fix this situation,” he told me.

”Do you promise?”

”I promise.”

Ten minutes later I was on my way to some nightclub with Tony. But when we got there, it turned out that it was more of a bar than a nightclub, which was honestly very fine with me. I actually liked bars better because, a) there were less people there and b) you could actually have conversations with people.

As soon as we were in, I noticed a big group of well-tattooed men and a bunch of girls sitting around a big corner table in the back of the bar. Tony grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards them and once we got close, I noticed Vic, Mike and Jaime among the people. My face lit up and Vic was the first one to see me.

”Abby, hey!” he exclaimed and stood up. Then he took a few steps to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

”Hey,” I smiled.

I hugged Jaime and Mike as well and then I looked at everybody else. I had no idea who they were. I mean, sure, they were all Tony's friends or something but I had never seen any of them and all of a sudden I got really shy.

Before I could do anything, Tony had sat down and was pulling me down on to his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I rested my back against him and then everybody started chatting and I just sat there with my mouth tightly shut.

A few hours later I had officially been introduced to everybody. Most of them had something to do with Pierce the Veil but they were all really good friends with either Tony, Vic, Jaime or Mike. They were all really nice and everything but they had their own things to talk about so I didn't really fit in. At some point Tony went outside to chat with some of the guys and I was left alone. I mean, surely I wasn't alone but I had nobody to talk to and I felt really lonely so I just sat there and drank tons of alcohol.

When Tony finally came back, everybody was leaving already and I was angry. When we started walking back to his place, not much was said. I didn't even want to hold his hand and finally he realized that not everything was okay.

”What's wrong, Abby?” he finally asked and stopped walking.

”Everything is wrong,” I muttered and turned to look at him.

Okay, so, maybe everything wasn't wrong but after all I'd had a pretty shitty night. I had been alone most of the time and now that I was drunk, everything felt worse. I just wanted to go home.

”What? Talk to me, Abby,” he said and stepped closer and tried to grab my hand.

”I was alone the whole night,” I muttered, ”You just went and left me alone! Do you have any idea what it's like to move to a whole new city? I know nobody and you're not even here to help me!”

”What? You knew what it was going to be like, okay? You knew I have so fucking much to do here and you still wanted to come. And so what if I'm not always there with you? You're twenty-fucking-two years old, you should be able to live without people always looking after you!” he exclaimed and I flinched. It was, really, the first time he had ever yelled at me and I didn't like it very much.

”Fine, whatever,” I mumbled and turned around. I started walking away from him.

”You're going to the wrong direction,” he shouted after me and I groaned.

”See? I can't even find my home!” I exclaimed, getting extremely frustrated, ”I know absolutely fucking nothing about this place!”

”Calm down, Abby.”

”No! It's like... I don't... I don't belong here,” I mumbled and after saying the words, I finally realized it. I realized it was true, that I didn't belong there. I lifted my hand up and covered my mouth with it as it really hit me. I didn't belong to Tony's busy life.

”Abby...” Obviously Tony didn't know what to say.

”No,” I shook my head, ”Don't say anything.”

”Come on, let's go,” he said quietly, ”Everything will be better in the morning, okay? Okay?”

”Okay, but...”

”No buts. You're drunk, I'm drunk, that's it. Let's go.”

When we got to his place, we had to be really quiet because Jaxin and Natalie were asleep already. Tony held my hand the whole way to our room and once we got there, he turned on the lights and closed the door. As I was about to let go of his hand, he pulled me closer to him and rested his hands on my waist.

”You do belong here, Abby,” he whispered, ”And I know it's hard at first but once you get to know to everybody, it'll all be fine, I promise. Please, just, don't leave me.”

”I...”

”Please.”

”I don't feel like this is my home,” I admitted quietly and bit my lip as I looked at his face as it fell.

And it was true, it didn't feel like my home and I was afraid that it would never feel like it.