Save Me
Sunset
He stares at me, for what seems like forever, because I'm dying to kiss those lips again. He's shock and confused. His lips touch mine and we're at it. I feel it. I'm not kidding myself. We feel the same for each other.
He has one arm wrapped around my waist and the other trying to unlock the door. I giggle at him with our faces two inches away. He turns away from the door and gives me a kiss. I grin and pull him back by the hips and I kiss him hard. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I do it back.
He finally gets the door to open and we move in this tongue touching embrace. I pull away from the kiss to look at our surroundings. "What is it?" he asks breathing hard against my neck as he continues to peck it. I tingle a little each time he touches my neck. "I want to make sure no one's home." I say. He kisses me, "No one's home." "Good. No more talking."
I press my lips to his and I lead him to his room, pulling off his clothes one by one.
This is really happening...
He lays back on his bed, and that's when I finally have his pants off. He aggressively pulls me down so he's on top. He wraps his arms around me, gripping the zipper that's on the back of my dress, pulling it out over my head perfectly, and throwing it onto the floor. Then, he slowly kisses me as he goes down my body. Each kiss makes me tense up. Then, he continues doing the same thing as he goes back up my body. He leaves kisses on my chin, cheeks, and to my forehead. I grasp him around his neck to make him kiss me. He presses me down as he kisses me harder. Out of nowhere he stops to look at me, "You're beautiful." I look at him and he's serious. I don't think someone's ever told me that. I don't accept it but, I continue to kiss him passionately. I think I've lost all control of everything...
I find myself awake while Vic's fast asleep beside me. I can't believe I just did that. I slowly get out of his bed and search for my dress and underwear. I find my dress but not my underwear. Then, my phone begins to vibrate and it's like the loudest thing ever right now. I search for it around the bed and I see Vic tossing on the bed. Oh no, he can't wake up right now. I find my phone under the bedside table. I check to see who's calling and it's Tanya. She's called at least 20 times. I quickly text her letting her know I'm okay.
I look for my keys and they're on his bed. I carefully pick it up so it won't make any noises. Then, I try looking for my underwear. I search the top of his desks, counters, and nothing. Vic snorts a big snort and I giggle. I stop myself from getting too loud and I look at him. Why did I do that to him? He's going to hate me for me leaving.
I feel my eyes get watery, and I immediately get out the room. I told myself that he's just my best friend, and nothing more. How could I do that to him? Tears run down my face and I cannot take it anymore. I slowly open the front door and, "Tiff?" I hear someone say. I turn around it's Daniel. He switches the lights on and he frowns once he sees me. "What's wrong?" he asks surprised by my mood. I shake my head, "It's nothing. I gotta go." And I'm running to my car. I quickly start the engine and pull out of the driveway. I glance at the front door and I see Daniel watching me. I turn back to the road and I'm driving fast.
I quickly unlock the front door to see the lights off. I quietly walk to my bedroom, with tears still running down my face, and I lock the door shut once I'm in. I walk towards my bed and fall flat on it. I slept with my best friend. I slept with my best friend. And I just left him. I'm so fucked up. I just ruin a friendship.
Tears continue to fall down my face as I wrap myself around my favorite blanket. I'm a terrible person and I keep doing the same horrible stuff over and over again. I hate it.
I am tortured by him. The memories of his hands embracing my face. It was so... Peaceful. I've never felt that. His soft, loving kisses. I miss it. I miss him. It’s been two weeks since our thing at his house. We haven't talked since. And he’s going on tour tomorrow, for three months, and I can’t help but mope around, like an idiot. He hasn’t called or even text me... I mean, why would he!?!? I'm the one who left. I think I'll call Steven.
I'm about to call Steven, and I receive a text from Mike, “Can I come over?”
I’m smiling because I miss hanging with this foo!
“Yes!! Hurry up!” I reply.
“Geez. So eager for this sexiness. :p”
I laugh out loud as I fall onto the couch.
“Hahahahaha Shutup.”
”I’m on my way”
And then he’s at the door. I just realize that we live pretty close to each other. He’s about a ten minute drive away. He’s one of the reasons why I moved to San Diego in the first place! And of course the beautiful beaches and Burritos!!
I open the door and he has his arms wide open while smiling at me. I attack him with my arms wrapped tight around him, squeezing his tiny waist. The Fuentes brothers and their tiny waists. He does the same, except he's squeezing me tighter. “How are you?” I ask as I walk to the kitchen to fetch him his favorite beer. He follows saying, "I'm great! How are you dawg?" and I hand him it. “Freaking awesome." I chuckle a little. "Are you ready for the tour?” He nods as he takes a sip of his beer. “Hell yeah!!” And then I lead him to my room.
He sits on my bed as I shut the door. I stand still while I'm lost in my own thoughts. He’s looking at me worriedly, “Are you okay?” “I fucked up.” I admit to him. “How?” he cocks his head to one side. “Vic and I spent a day together at the beach, and we... I...” I can't look him straight in the eyes. He sets his beer on the bed table, “I.. I.. Um..” I stutter nervously looking around my room. “We... Um.”
A smile crosses his face as he interrupts me, “You guys kissed.” I’m confused and surprised by his words, “How do you know that?” He shrugs, “Vic told me about the day you sang with him. And anyone who’s heard you sing, would want to kiss you.” he chuckles. “Besides me because that’s just nasty.” I laugh as I sit beside him. He wraps his arms around me, looking at me, with a positive smile. “Why so positive for me when I’m so negative about myself?” He shakes his head, “Because you’re so awesome and beautiful. You gotta believe that.” he starts. “I understand why you’re so negative about yourself and what your parents did. It sucks. But, you gotta let it go, love.” and he’s gesturing my arms. I’m looking away from him while frowning, "I'm trying.." I say softly. “I really like him, Mike. And I...” I mutter, still not looking at him. He’s looking at me, trying to get me to look at him by going closer to my face, “What is it?” he asks.
“I just can’t do anything about it.” and shrug looking at him. “Yes, you can.” he grins. “And when you guys finally get married, we can be legal siblings.” He’s smiling proudly. We always saw each other as siblings. We treat each other like siblings and make fun of each other like siblings. I chuckle, “You are always gonna be my brotha no matter what.” He holds a hand to his mouth with a shock expression. “Aw! You’re so sweet!” he exclaims puckering my right cheek hard with his lips and I’m laughing, trying to push him away. He’s holding me tight and I’m laughing while struggling to get him off, “Get off me!!” I exclaim and he finally does.
When we calm down from this awing, I lean back against his chest, “I don’t know what to do anymore.” I say with exhaustion in my voice. “You’re afraid, love.” I nod, agreeing. “Why? Besides, you know.” he’s gesturing my arm. “You know how I am and what I do.” “Did you ever have your heart broken?” he asks broadly. I turn to look at him with my eyes tensed up with tears, as I remember the past. He sees and pulls me into a hug, “I am so sorry. I forgot.”
Just when I thought he was different, he walked away knowing how fucked up I am.
“Did you tell him why you’re like this?” I shake my head, “No, I can't.” He sighs, “You should know that Vic’s mood changes when he’s with you.” I look at him confused with a 'what the hell do you mean', look. He grins, “His face lights up when he sees you, and when he’s with you, he’s always smiling.” What? Not even. “Yeah, even.” he answers my unspoken thoughts with a grin. “I remember when he first met you, he couldn’t stop smiling. Y’all were making each other laugh and shit. There was even flirting. You guys clicked immediately.” I smile at the memory. “He’s always happy when he’s with you.” and then I frown completely. “What is it?” he asks. I fall back on my bed and he follows.
I notice what he's wearing. He has a black t-shirt, dark blue skinny jeans, and a red beanie. “I shouldn't say.” He turns on his side to face me, “Just tell me. I'm pretty sure I've done worst.” I look at him and shake my head. "How is he?" I ask. "He seems pretty occupied. Especially cause we've been practicing for the tour." I nod understanding. Mike pokes my cheek, "You know he keeps to himself." I nod agreeing, but Vic tells me stuff. A lot of stuff. I don't talk about my stuff.
“What do you want to do?” he asks pulling out his phone. I shrug even though he's not looking, “Be with him without hurting anyone.” “Anyone?” he questions looking at me. “Without hurting myself, too. But, that's not gonna happen." He sighs as he looks through his phone. When he finishes, he puts it away and says, "I think you're afraid of a repeat of your past and the affects you have from your parents. I know Vic and I know you. You like him and he's so different to you. You just don't want to admit it." He's staring at me and he's serious. I don't know what to say because I'm shocked. "You cling to your fear and it's become a lifestyle to be like this. But, I know you need to break free and I think Vic helps you." he says. "He has that affect on you." I. Am. Completely. Stunned. He's so damn right.
Tears fall down my face and I'm completely quiet. It's that kind of cry where you know it's really bad. Mike wraps his arms around me, gesturing me closely. He knows not to speak anymore.
But, he eventually does.
“You should go and see him, tonight.” “I don't think so.” I can barely say. I sit up wiping my face with my hands, and he follows. “Why not?” he asks as he helps me wipe my tears away with his thumb. I shake my head, “I’m the one who pushed him away, dude.” He sighs. “You know, when you push him away, he pulls back.” I look down and murmur, “I know.” “Vic, sees the best in everyone. You should let him.” he smiles at me. I look at him and frown, “I’m not ready to tell him why I’m like this, Mike. It’s too much.” He nods frowning and then pulls me by the waist, into a hug, “I understand, love. But, at least tell him goodbye like we would usually do.” I shake my head looking up at him, “I don’t think he would want to see me right now.” “That’s not true! Come on, let’s go!” he’s up and dragging me on my feet. I shake my head, following him up. He smiles at me, “Yes? Please?” I look at him, “Cookies, whiskey, and a movie?” and I crack a smile. He nods smiling, clapping his hands together like a little kid. I smile, “Fine. But, you cannot leave us alone or I’ll personally break all of your drumsticks.” I warn him looking at him seriously. He’s laughing, “Deal.” And we’re off.
SHIT.
I follow Mike onto his drive way and park my car next to his. I sit and freeze. Shit. Shit! SHIT! I don’t want to face him! Why am I never thinking things through!?!
I sigh and meet Mike by the front door. “Dude, I saw my neighbors having sex in their cars!” he exclaims with his eyes wide open and a disgusted expression. “What?! No way!” I’m giggling at his expression. He nods and we’re laughing together. “I’m just trying to take out the trash ya know.” he says unlocking the door. “And there like in their car, rocking it back and fourth.” I laugh loudly, and just for a second I forget what I'm here for. He looks disturbed but still laughing. He opens the door and we hear glass breaking. “What is that?” I ask looking at Mike, paranoid. He shrugs and then we walk forward, slowly approaching the kitchen. “Vic’s suppose to be the only one here.” he whispers. I follow him closely towards the kitchen. I don’t know why, but I feel my heart drop. I stop right behind him and stare. Tears prick in my eyes, again, and I’m broken.
Vic’s on top of this girl I don’t recognize, and her lips are so close to his, and glasses are broken all around them. And they were gonna kiss. “What’s going on?” Mike asks, raising his voice, looking at the two. They both turn to us and Vic quickly stands up, helping the girl up by the arm. And my tears are shedding. What the fuck. “Vic?” my voice is cracked. He slowly walks towards me, “Tiff... It’s not what it looks like. Glasses broke and we fell.” I gasp myself together, trying to put up a smile but I end up frowning, “I should’ve never came here.” I murmur loud enough for him to hear. I glance at the girl and she looks confused, frighten even. She's blonde and small. She's pretty too. Then back to Vic. He’s staring at me, “It’s not what it looks like.” he repeats, desperately trying to reassure me, walking closer to me. I shake my head, “Have fun with the tour.” I try smiling and I fail. “Tiff. No.” he calls out and I’m off. Running away. Like I always do.
I’m in my car, trying to fight me from curling up and crying in my car. And I see Vic at the front door and he’s too late.
I’m speeding as fast as my tears fall down my face. I cannot take it anymore. I finally admit to myself that I want him and he’s… He’s moved on.. Maybe he was telling the truth? No, fuck that!
I’m home, walking in, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. The girls are home and gasping, “Tiff! What’s wrong?!” I hear Tanya say. “What happened!?!?” Melody exclaims standing up from the couch. “What’s wrong?! Why are you crying?!!” Sara’s standing beside /melody. I ignore them by walking right past them, and to my room. They’re following me and I quickly shut the door in their face. I fall onto my bed and cry. They’re banging on my door and shouting. Just leave me alone. No one can help me. I know that for sure, and I’m hopeless. Forever hopeless.
I can’t stop thinking about what just happened. It’s repeating in my head like me rewinding Matt Bomer’s strip scene in Magic Mike. Except, I’m not happy and laughing. It’s my fault. I just had to sing with him! I just had to kiss him! I just had to sleep with him! I just had to move here! I can’t say that. I love it here. But still. I would have never met him if I didn’t move here. But then again, I would have never known him. His touch. His kisses. The way he smiles hard. He does this dorky face when he does. His front teeth sticking out, nose even more pointy, and it’s so god damn cute. Stop it!!!!! Should I call Steven? Will he help? I don’t think so. I bury my face in my pillow, crying my eyes out.
I knew if I ever got involved with anyone I like, I’d be like this. Hopeless about everything and a mess. I soon fall into a deep, deep sleep.
MEANWHILE AT VIC’S HOUSE.
I walk back into the house and Mike and Jessica are staring at me. Jessica's crying. “Vic…” she sobs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t kn-” I cut her off, “It’s not your fault. Thank you for the glasses.” I relentlessly say. She nods and hugs me goodbye. Before she’s out the door, Mike speaks, “Were you gonna kiss her?” I look at him and shake my head. He looks relieved and continues. “She wanted to have cookies, whiskey, and a movie, with us.” he says. “More like with you.” I look up from looking at the ground. Mike’s shrugging, “She doesn’t want to hurt you, but she can’t stay away.” I like that she can't stay away..
I’ve known her for more than a year. We’ve become close. Best friends. Still are, I hope. Mike’s known her his whole life, and she chooses to mess with my head. I’m glad she did. No. Why couldn’t she be with him and I wouldn’t have to feel this way? No, I wouldn’t like that. I want her. “What are you thinking bro?” he asks, worriedly looking at me. I sigh and look up at him, “Let’s just have another great Warped Tour.” and I turn towards my room. Am I giving up on her? No! I don’t want to. "She can’t stay away." Mike’s words repeat in my head. I sit on my bed, confused. There has to be a reason why. Maybe I should give her time. I need time, myself. I’m tired and I lay flat on my bed. She’s so beautiful. And I fall into a deep, deep sleep. I know I’ll be dreaming of her, tonight.
He has one arm wrapped around my waist and the other trying to unlock the door. I giggle at him with our faces two inches away. He turns away from the door and gives me a kiss. I grin and pull him back by the hips and I kiss him hard. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I do it back.
He finally gets the door to open and we move in this tongue touching embrace. I pull away from the kiss to look at our surroundings. "What is it?" he asks breathing hard against my neck as he continues to peck it. I tingle a little each time he touches my neck. "I want to make sure no one's home." I say. He kisses me, "No one's home." "Good. No more talking."
I press my lips to his and I lead him to his room, pulling off his clothes one by one.
This is really happening...
He lays back on his bed, and that's when I finally have his pants off. He aggressively pulls me down so he's on top. He wraps his arms around me, gripping the zipper that's on the back of my dress, pulling it out over my head perfectly, and throwing it onto the floor. Then, he slowly kisses me as he goes down my body. Each kiss makes me tense up. Then, he continues doing the same thing as he goes back up my body. He leaves kisses on my chin, cheeks, and to my forehead. I grasp him around his neck to make him kiss me. He presses me down as he kisses me harder. Out of nowhere he stops to look at me, "You're beautiful." I look at him and he's serious. I don't think someone's ever told me that. I don't accept it but, I continue to kiss him passionately. I think I've lost all control of everything...
I find myself awake while Vic's fast asleep beside me. I can't believe I just did that. I slowly get out of his bed and search for my dress and underwear. I find my dress but not my underwear. Then, my phone begins to vibrate and it's like the loudest thing ever right now. I search for it around the bed and I see Vic tossing on the bed. Oh no, he can't wake up right now. I find my phone under the bedside table. I check to see who's calling and it's Tanya. She's called at least 20 times. I quickly text her letting her know I'm okay.
I look for my keys and they're on his bed. I carefully pick it up so it won't make any noises. Then, I try looking for my underwear. I search the top of his desks, counters, and nothing. Vic snorts a big snort and I giggle. I stop myself from getting too loud and I look at him. Why did I do that to him? He's going to hate me for me leaving.
I feel my eyes get watery, and I immediately get out the room. I told myself that he's just my best friend, and nothing more. How could I do that to him? Tears run down my face and I cannot take it anymore. I slowly open the front door and, "Tiff?" I hear someone say. I turn around it's Daniel. He switches the lights on and he frowns once he sees me. "What's wrong?" he asks surprised by my mood. I shake my head, "It's nothing. I gotta go." And I'm running to my car. I quickly start the engine and pull out of the driveway. I glance at the front door and I see Daniel watching me. I turn back to the road and I'm driving fast.
I quickly unlock the front door to see the lights off. I quietly walk to my bedroom, with tears still running down my face, and I lock the door shut once I'm in. I walk towards my bed and fall flat on it. I slept with my best friend. I slept with my best friend. And I just left him. I'm so fucked up. I just ruin a friendship.
Tears continue to fall down my face as I wrap myself around my favorite blanket. I'm a terrible person and I keep doing the same horrible stuff over and over again. I hate it.
I am tortured by him. The memories of his hands embracing my face. It was so... Peaceful. I've never felt that. His soft, loving kisses. I miss it. I miss him. It’s been two weeks since our thing at his house. We haven't talked since. And he’s going on tour tomorrow, for three months, and I can’t help but mope around, like an idiot. He hasn’t called or even text me... I mean, why would he!?!? I'm the one who left. I think I'll call Steven.
I'm about to call Steven, and I receive a text from Mike, “Can I come over?”
I’m smiling because I miss hanging with this foo!
“Yes!! Hurry up!” I reply.
“Geez. So eager for this sexiness. :p”
I laugh out loud as I fall onto the couch.
“Hahahahaha Shutup.”
”I’m on my way”
And then he’s at the door. I just realize that we live pretty close to each other. He’s about a ten minute drive away. He’s one of the reasons why I moved to San Diego in the first place! And of course the beautiful beaches and Burritos!!
I open the door and he has his arms wide open while smiling at me. I attack him with my arms wrapped tight around him, squeezing his tiny waist. The Fuentes brothers and their tiny waists. He does the same, except he's squeezing me tighter. “How are you?” I ask as I walk to the kitchen to fetch him his favorite beer. He follows saying, "I'm great! How are you dawg?" and I hand him it. “Freaking awesome." I chuckle a little. "Are you ready for the tour?” He nods as he takes a sip of his beer. “Hell yeah!!” And then I lead him to my room.
He sits on my bed as I shut the door. I stand still while I'm lost in my own thoughts. He’s looking at me worriedly, “Are you okay?” “I fucked up.” I admit to him. “How?” he cocks his head to one side. “Vic and I spent a day together at the beach, and we... I...” I can't look him straight in the eyes. He sets his beer on the bed table, “I.. I.. Um..” I stutter nervously looking around my room. “We... Um.”
A smile crosses his face as he interrupts me, “You guys kissed.” I’m confused and surprised by his words, “How do you know that?” He shrugs, “Vic told me about the day you sang with him. And anyone who’s heard you sing, would want to kiss you.” he chuckles. “Besides me because that’s just nasty.” I laugh as I sit beside him. He wraps his arms around me, looking at me, with a positive smile. “Why so positive for me when I’m so negative about myself?” He shakes his head, “Because you’re so awesome and beautiful. You gotta believe that.” he starts. “I understand why you’re so negative about yourself and what your parents did. It sucks. But, you gotta let it go, love.” and he’s gesturing my arms. I’m looking away from him while frowning, "I'm trying.." I say softly. “I really like him, Mike. And I...” I mutter, still not looking at him. He’s looking at me, trying to get me to look at him by going closer to my face, “What is it?” he asks.
“I just can’t do anything about it.” and shrug looking at him. “Yes, you can.” he grins. “And when you guys finally get married, we can be legal siblings.” He’s smiling proudly. We always saw each other as siblings. We treat each other like siblings and make fun of each other like siblings. I chuckle, “You are always gonna be my brotha no matter what.” He holds a hand to his mouth with a shock expression. “Aw! You’re so sweet!” he exclaims puckering my right cheek hard with his lips and I’m laughing, trying to push him away. He’s holding me tight and I’m laughing while struggling to get him off, “Get off me!!” I exclaim and he finally does.
When we calm down from this awing, I lean back against his chest, “I don’t know what to do anymore.” I say with exhaustion in my voice. “You’re afraid, love.” I nod, agreeing. “Why? Besides, you know.” he’s gesturing my arm. “You know how I am and what I do.” “Did you ever have your heart broken?” he asks broadly. I turn to look at him with my eyes tensed up with tears, as I remember the past. He sees and pulls me into a hug, “I am so sorry. I forgot.”
Just when I thought he was different, he walked away knowing how fucked up I am.
“Did you tell him why you’re like this?” I shake my head, “No, I can't.” He sighs, “You should know that Vic’s mood changes when he’s with you.” I look at him confused with a 'what the hell do you mean', look. He grins, “His face lights up when he sees you, and when he’s with you, he’s always smiling.” What? Not even. “Yeah, even.” he answers my unspoken thoughts with a grin. “I remember when he first met you, he couldn’t stop smiling. Y’all were making each other laugh and shit. There was even flirting. You guys clicked immediately.” I smile at the memory. “He’s always happy when he’s with you.” and then I frown completely. “What is it?” he asks. I fall back on my bed and he follows.
I notice what he's wearing. He has a black t-shirt, dark blue skinny jeans, and a red beanie. “I shouldn't say.” He turns on his side to face me, “Just tell me. I'm pretty sure I've done worst.” I look at him and shake my head. "How is he?" I ask. "He seems pretty occupied. Especially cause we've been practicing for the tour." I nod understanding. Mike pokes my cheek, "You know he keeps to himself." I nod agreeing, but Vic tells me stuff. A lot of stuff. I don't talk about my stuff.
“What do you want to do?” he asks pulling out his phone. I shrug even though he's not looking, “Be with him without hurting anyone.” “Anyone?” he questions looking at me. “Without hurting myself, too. But, that's not gonna happen." He sighs as he looks through his phone. When he finishes, he puts it away and says, "I think you're afraid of a repeat of your past and the affects you have from your parents. I know Vic and I know you. You like him and he's so different to you. You just don't want to admit it." He's staring at me and he's serious. I don't know what to say because I'm shocked. "You cling to your fear and it's become a lifestyle to be like this. But, I know you need to break free and I think Vic helps you." he says. "He has that affect on you." I. Am. Completely. Stunned. He's so damn right.
Tears fall down my face and I'm completely quiet. It's that kind of cry where you know it's really bad. Mike wraps his arms around me, gesturing me closely. He knows not to speak anymore.
But, he eventually does.
“You should go and see him, tonight.” “I don't think so.” I can barely say. I sit up wiping my face with my hands, and he follows. “Why not?” he asks as he helps me wipe my tears away with his thumb. I shake my head, “I’m the one who pushed him away, dude.” He sighs. “You know, when you push him away, he pulls back.” I look down and murmur, “I know.” “Vic, sees the best in everyone. You should let him.” he smiles at me. I look at him and frown, “I’m not ready to tell him why I’m like this, Mike. It’s too much.” He nods frowning and then pulls me by the waist, into a hug, “I understand, love. But, at least tell him goodbye like we would usually do.” I shake my head looking up at him, “I don’t think he would want to see me right now.” “That’s not true! Come on, let’s go!” he’s up and dragging me on my feet. I shake my head, following him up. He smiles at me, “Yes? Please?” I look at him, “Cookies, whiskey, and a movie?” and I crack a smile. He nods smiling, clapping his hands together like a little kid. I smile, “Fine. But, you cannot leave us alone or I’ll personally break all of your drumsticks.” I warn him looking at him seriously. He’s laughing, “Deal.” And we’re off.
SHIT.
I follow Mike onto his drive way and park my car next to his. I sit and freeze. Shit. Shit! SHIT! I don’t want to face him! Why am I never thinking things through!?!
I sigh and meet Mike by the front door. “Dude, I saw my neighbors having sex in their cars!” he exclaims with his eyes wide open and a disgusted expression. “What?! No way!” I’m giggling at his expression. He nods and we’re laughing together. “I’m just trying to take out the trash ya know.” he says unlocking the door. “And there like in their car, rocking it back and fourth.” I laugh loudly, and just for a second I forget what I'm here for. He looks disturbed but still laughing. He opens the door and we hear glass breaking. “What is that?” I ask looking at Mike, paranoid. He shrugs and then we walk forward, slowly approaching the kitchen. “Vic’s suppose to be the only one here.” he whispers. I follow him closely towards the kitchen. I don’t know why, but I feel my heart drop. I stop right behind him and stare. Tears prick in my eyes, again, and I’m broken.
Vic’s on top of this girl I don’t recognize, and her lips are so close to his, and glasses are broken all around them. And they were gonna kiss. “What’s going on?” Mike asks, raising his voice, looking at the two. They both turn to us and Vic quickly stands up, helping the girl up by the arm. And my tears are shedding. What the fuck. “Vic?” my voice is cracked. He slowly walks towards me, “Tiff... It’s not what it looks like. Glasses broke and we fell.” I gasp myself together, trying to put up a smile but I end up frowning, “I should’ve never came here.” I murmur loud enough for him to hear. I glance at the girl and she looks confused, frighten even. She's blonde and small. She's pretty too. Then back to Vic. He’s staring at me, “It’s not what it looks like.” he repeats, desperately trying to reassure me, walking closer to me. I shake my head, “Have fun with the tour.” I try smiling and I fail. “Tiff. No.” he calls out and I’m off. Running away. Like I always do.
I’m in my car, trying to fight me from curling up and crying in my car. And I see Vic at the front door and he’s too late.
I’m speeding as fast as my tears fall down my face. I cannot take it anymore. I finally admit to myself that I want him and he’s… He’s moved on.. Maybe he was telling the truth? No, fuck that!
I’m home, walking in, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. The girls are home and gasping, “Tiff! What’s wrong?!” I hear Tanya say. “What happened!?!?” Melody exclaims standing up from the couch. “What’s wrong?! Why are you crying?!!” Sara’s standing beside /melody. I ignore them by walking right past them, and to my room. They’re following me and I quickly shut the door in their face. I fall onto my bed and cry. They’re banging on my door and shouting. Just leave me alone. No one can help me. I know that for sure, and I’m hopeless. Forever hopeless.
I can’t stop thinking about what just happened. It’s repeating in my head like me rewinding Matt Bomer’s strip scene in Magic Mike. Except, I’m not happy and laughing. It’s my fault. I just had to sing with him! I just had to kiss him! I just had to sleep with him! I just had to move here! I can’t say that. I love it here. But still. I would have never met him if I didn’t move here. But then again, I would have never known him. His touch. His kisses. The way he smiles hard. He does this dorky face when he does. His front teeth sticking out, nose even more pointy, and it’s so god damn cute. Stop it!!!!! Should I call Steven? Will he help? I don’t think so. I bury my face in my pillow, crying my eyes out.
I knew if I ever got involved with anyone I like, I’d be like this. Hopeless about everything and a mess. I soon fall into a deep, deep sleep.
MEANWHILE AT VIC’S HOUSE.
I walk back into the house and Mike and Jessica are staring at me. Jessica's crying. “Vic…” she sobs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t kn-” I cut her off, “It’s not your fault. Thank you for the glasses.” I relentlessly say. She nods and hugs me goodbye. Before she’s out the door, Mike speaks, “Were you gonna kiss her?” I look at him and shake my head. He looks relieved and continues. “She wanted to have cookies, whiskey, and a movie, with us.” he says. “More like with you.” I look up from looking at the ground. Mike’s shrugging, “She doesn’t want to hurt you, but she can’t stay away.” I like that she can't stay away..
I’ve known her for more than a year. We’ve become close. Best friends. Still are, I hope. Mike’s known her his whole life, and she chooses to mess with my head. I’m glad she did. No. Why couldn’t she be with him and I wouldn’t have to feel this way? No, I wouldn’t like that. I want her. “What are you thinking bro?” he asks, worriedly looking at me. I sigh and look up at him, “Let’s just have another great Warped Tour.” and I turn towards my room. Am I giving up on her? No! I don’t want to. "She can’t stay away." Mike’s words repeat in my head. I sit on my bed, confused. There has to be a reason why. Maybe I should give her time. I need time, myself. I’m tired and I lay flat on my bed. She’s so beautiful. And I fall into a deep, deep sleep. I know I’ll be dreaming of her, tonight.
