I hung the phone up, hoping Tony wouldn’t be doing anything stupid. Fuck, I mean I know I’ve screwed shit up before with Sicily but she really needed to listen to me right now.

She’d always had separation issues, ever since our father basically dropped both of us in the middle of San Diego, Sicily barely being able to speak English and me trying to find a job somewhere.

She never trusted anybody ever since.

I let my mind drift back to that day.

It was late August, meaning Sicily’s school would be starting soon and I would have to be getting a job too. Would Sicily fit it?

I know she was starting to learn English but she was still having so much trouble. I don’t have enough to get her into a special program that would help her with English. Would she get teased by the other kids in her class? Would she even be able to get through school without knowing English?

I sighed and looked back at her,

“Sicilia.”

“Mm.” She looked up at me.

She was so young. Nine years old was a hard time to be losing your mother and father.

Then again she didn’t really lose them.

They left her, like how our father left me and my mother on our own. Only after he left her Sicily’s mother left her.

Sicily really was a completely and utterly unwanted child. My mother at least stayed around until I got a job or something.

Our plans had gotten cut short when Sicily came to live with us,

“Are you gonna make friends today?” I didn’t miss a beat when speaking to her in Spanish. It was what I was raised on and Sicily had yet to learn otherwise,

“I’ll try. Nobody is gonna wanna talk to me.” She was always so terribly hard on herself,

“It won’t be hard making friends Cici. You just have to be nice and they can help you.” She always hated it when I pulled up that she couldn’t speak English,

“I don’t need to be taught, Jaime.” She paused, “I just need someone to simplify it.” I sighed and looked back at the road ahead,

“Okay. Well the school is just up ahead, do you want me to drop you here?” She always got embarrassed when I would drop her off in front of the school.

She thought people laughed at her because she didn’t have real parents,

“If you don’t mind.” I pulled over to the sidewalk and Sicily got out, “Bye, Jaime. I’ll see you when I get home.” I know it’s kind of mean making her walk home but I worked later at night and my mom didn’t have a car so we had no way of picking her up,

“Okay, and Cici?” She stopped and turned back toward me, “I love you.”

“Bye, Jaime.” She never said goodbye back.

It was beginning to be regular.
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I snapped back from my thoughts to see I was at my destination.

Driving and daydreaming? More dangerous than drinking and driving.

I sighed and got out of my ’03 Mustang and walked to the front door.

Dammit Sicily don’t fuck yourself over.

Notes

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