I Count Your Heartbeats Before You Sleep
Yeah Boy and Doll Face
"Tony what are you doing here?" I ask looking at my shoes, I couldn't look up at his big brown eyes or I will break down again.
"Melodee.. are you okay? It's been a while.. I missed you." I lock the door behind me and walk towards my car,not facing Tony, while he follows behind.
"I..hmm...I've been busy." I reply
"Oh that's why you missed school?" I unlock the car, as I was getting in I reply "No, I just don't feel like going anymore." I close the car door and buckle myself.
"Where are you going Mel?" Tony asks, I know this is mean of me but I really didn't have planned going anywhere and now I have to make something up, why am I lying to Tony the guy I love.
"I don't know Tony..I don't know anymore." I can't take this pain inside, It hurts.
"Mel what's wrong, what happened?" Be strong Melodee. Be strong, he has a girlfriend who he likes a lot. Don't cry! "Nothing Tone.. I'll go to school tomorrow okay now I've got to go." I start the engine, as I pulled off the driveway, I watch as Tony leaves, I've hurt him. See you always ruin everything!
After I watch him leave, I turn off the engine and head back to the house. I lock the door and run up my stairs, I reach my room, I stare at the emptiness, I don't hesitate; I go straight to my bed and fall asleep once again crying myself to sleep.
I woke up on some morning, I made my way to the bathroom, I splash water all through my face. After just staying around back home for another few days, I realized that this is only making me feel even more depressed and I don't like this. I feel bad for Tony, he looked really bummed after what I had done. I've always told Tony if anyone hurt him, I will find them and hoped no one looked this time, and now look I've hurt him, but he hurt me too! Really badly, I know it isn't his fault; it's my own for falling for him. But now to make it up I promised him I'll go to school, I just have to keep my distance, I don't want to see him and......Stephanie.
I got in my car, now that I have my license I can surely drive. My brother Jack had called a few times as well but of course like this I can't bare with anyone. I felt like staying back again and just blocking everything and everyone. I am hurt.
I arrived at school, I grab my green messenger bag and jump out of the car. As I was walking down the halls I kept getting stares from different people, but I wouldn't blame them I haven't gone through this halls in more than 3 weeks now. If I see Tony and Stephanie I will not be able to stand myself from coming down. I can't even think of how happy they must be with each other, I know i am being selfish but my heart is broken.
"There she goes, go let's go! Come on!" I heard voices from behind me. Moments later I was picked up from the floor. I spun myself around, only to face the guys.
"Mel!!" I was received with a lot of hugs. Elise hug me and kissed my cheek. Jaime hug me real tight, And Vic as well. Mike picked me up once again and placed me behind his back, I place my legs around his waist as we walk through the halls. I guess this people really did miss me.
"What happened? Where were you?" We reached our table Mike placed me down and went back with Elise. Vic made his way towards me,"Mel you haven't answered us."
I can't tell them why I haven't been coming. I guess I have to lie, they might not believe me but it's worth a try. "I've been busy with work and stuff." Lies. "Oh you got a job? Good for you!" Vic put his fist in front of him and I fist pumped his. "Well I don't matter right now! What have I missed?" I can tell I needed this, hanging out with the guys once again it made all the drama in my head go away.
"Oh a lot as happened, Me and my beautiful Kimberly got together." I wink at him with a smirk on my face. "The guys and me finally finish one song! Oh and Tony's been sad with out you Mel!" Vic finish off. I look away and pretend I didn't hear that last part. But Vic notice right away what I am trying to do, he instantly grabs my hand and pulls me away.
"Mel Tony has girlfriend Stephanie but we know you guys were meant to be."
"Vic.. I know Tony has a girlfriend I was there. But it's okay, I'm okay." Vic face expression went from sad to a happy grin. I lied once again. "Okay at least you're okay!"
***
I wasn't sure if I feel okay that I didn't see Tony at all today or if I'm disappointed. But I am sure that I have to come back to school now. There was only a few weeks of school left and I had to prepare myself to be able to graduate.
"Mel! come with us! We want to show you our song we've been working on." Jaime yelled before I got in my car. I turn and nodded. He got in his car and I follow behind in my car.
After approaching Vic's place, I put the gear in park and run inside the house with Jaime on my side.
"Hey guys!" I yelled into the garage they like to call home. My huge grin suddenly dropped once I saw Tony but he seemed happy. "Melodee!!" Tony smiled across the room and greeted me.
"Hey I want to hear you song you guys have been working on."
"Okay but wait until our lady's gets here." Vic replied, I laugh and nodded.
After a while of catching up with the guys we hear noises coming form outside, later Elise walked in with Kimberly and Stephanie. What is she doing here I thought only Kimberly and Elise were coming. Calm down Mel, she's not worth it.
I saw Kimberly go to Vic they moved aside and talk for a while. Elise jumped on Mike and kissed him all over his face. Later I saw Stephanie go to Tony, she sat on his lap and pressed her lips on his. I tried looking away, I tried being strong and not let the tears smear down my face. Jaime wasn't alone either he had a lady friend of his own. I don't want to be the only single and miserable one in here.
"Okay guys I'm going to get going." I said walking towards the door. "What no! You haven't even heard our song yet." Tony said making his way to his guitar, leaving Stephanie hanging from the kiss.
"Yeah wait, come on guys, let show this chicks what we got!" Vic yelled, making us all laugh.
"Okay this one is called Yeah Boy and Doll Face." Vic said into the mic.
Were you honest when you said
"I could never leave your bed"
Wake me up and let me know you're alive
And will you fall in love again
Is the scent slowly spreading
I've been answering machines all night
And are the doctors dancing in
While the ambulances sing
Another boy without a sharper knife
The moment, that's where I
Kill the conversation
Wrap this up
With a knife that loves to feel
How do you know how deep to go before it's real
Take me home
Can I even complicate your breathing
I guess I'm just your average boy
This is me
With a knife in the back
And a grip on the grass
It's cold and I don't want to be here."
"That's all we got so far. What do you guys think?"
"That was beautiful!" Elise yelled and we all nodded in agreement. It was a really awesome song I have to admit. I know this guys are going to make it far, I feel it.
"Tonay!!" Stephanie made her way to Tony and jumped on him she place her legs around his waist as she kiss him all over. Here we go. I feel a tear stream down my cheek. I tried to wipe it away but more kept coming. "Guys that song was amazing but I really have to get going." I look away so they won't see or hear me sniffling.
"Want me to take you home."
"Nah Tone stay with Stephanie you guys are cute." I made my way to my car, I jump in, as I was starting the engine, I broke down I place my head against the steering wheel and cry.
Fuck this life.
"Melodee.. are you okay? It's been a while.. I missed you." I lock the door behind me and walk towards my car,not facing Tony, while he follows behind.
"I..hmm...I've been busy." I reply
"Oh that's why you missed school?" I unlock the car, as I was getting in I reply "No, I just don't feel like going anymore." I close the car door and buckle myself.
"Where are you going Mel?" Tony asks, I know this is mean of me but I really didn't have planned going anywhere and now I have to make something up, why am I lying to Tony the guy I love.
"I don't know Tony..I don't know anymore." I can't take this pain inside, It hurts.
"Mel what's wrong, what happened?" Be strong Melodee. Be strong, he has a girlfriend who he likes a lot. Don't cry! "Nothing Tone.. I'll go to school tomorrow okay now I've got to go." I start the engine, as I pulled off the driveway, I watch as Tony leaves, I've hurt him. See you always ruin everything!
After I watch him leave, I turn off the engine and head back to the house. I lock the door and run up my stairs, I reach my room, I stare at the emptiness, I don't hesitate; I go straight to my bed and fall asleep once again crying myself to sleep.
I woke up on some morning, I made my way to the bathroom, I splash water all through my face. After just staying around back home for another few days, I realized that this is only making me feel even more depressed and I don't like this. I feel bad for Tony, he looked really bummed after what I had done. I've always told Tony if anyone hurt him, I will find them and hoped no one looked this time, and now look I've hurt him, but he hurt me too! Really badly, I know it isn't his fault; it's my own for falling for him. But now to make it up I promised him I'll go to school, I just have to keep my distance, I don't want to see him and......Stephanie.
I got in my car, now that I have my license I can surely drive. My brother Jack had called a few times as well but of course like this I can't bare with anyone. I felt like staying back again and just blocking everything and everyone. I am hurt.
I arrived at school, I grab my green messenger bag and jump out of the car. As I was walking down the halls I kept getting stares from different people, but I wouldn't blame them I haven't gone through this halls in more than 3 weeks now. If I see Tony and Stephanie I will not be able to stand myself from coming down. I can't even think of how happy they must be with each other, I know i am being selfish but my heart is broken.
"There she goes, go let's go! Come on!" I heard voices from behind me. Moments later I was picked up from the floor. I spun myself around, only to face the guys.
"Mel!!" I was received with a lot of hugs. Elise hug me and kissed my cheek. Jaime hug me real tight, And Vic as well. Mike picked me up once again and placed me behind his back, I place my legs around his waist as we walk through the halls. I guess this people really did miss me.
"What happened? Where were you?" We reached our table Mike placed me down and went back with Elise. Vic made his way towards me,"Mel you haven't answered us."
I can't tell them why I haven't been coming. I guess I have to lie, they might not believe me but it's worth a try. "I've been busy with work and stuff." Lies. "Oh you got a job? Good for you!" Vic put his fist in front of him and I fist pumped his. "Well I don't matter right now! What have I missed?" I can tell I needed this, hanging out with the guys once again it made all the drama in my head go away.
"Oh a lot as happened, Me and my beautiful Kimberly got together." I wink at him with a smirk on my face. "The guys and me finally finish one song! Oh and Tony's been sad with out you Mel!" Vic finish off. I look away and pretend I didn't hear that last part. But Vic notice right away what I am trying to do, he instantly grabs my hand and pulls me away.
"Mel Tony has girlfriend Stephanie but we know you guys were meant to be."
"Vic.. I know Tony has a girlfriend I was there. But it's okay, I'm okay." Vic face expression went from sad to a happy grin. I lied once again. "Okay at least you're okay!"
***
I wasn't sure if I feel okay that I didn't see Tony at all today or if I'm disappointed. But I am sure that I have to come back to school now. There was only a few weeks of school left and I had to prepare myself to be able to graduate.
"Mel! come with us! We want to show you our song we've been working on." Jaime yelled before I got in my car. I turn and nodded. He got in his car and I follow behind in my car.
After approaching Vic's place, I put the gear in park and run inside the house with Jaime on my side.
"Hey guys!" I yelled into the garage they like to call home. My huge grin suddenly dropped once I saw Tony but he seemed happy. "Melodee!!" Tony smiled across the room and greeted me.
"Hey I want to hear you song you guys have been working on."
"Okay but wait until our lady's gets here." Vic replied, I laugh and nodded.
After a while of catching up with the guys we hear noises coming form outside, later Elise walked in with Kimberly and Stephanie. What is she doing here I thought only Kimberly and Elise were coming. Calm down Mel, she's not worth it.
I saw Kimberly go to Vic they moved aside and talk for a while. Elise jumped on Mike and kissed him all over his face. Later I saw Stephanie go to Tony, she sat on his lap and pressed her lips on his. I tried looking away, I tried being strong and not let the tears smear down my face. Jaime wasn't alone either he had a lady friend of his own. I don't want to be the only single and miserable one in here.
"Okay guys I'm going to get going." I said walking towards the door. "What no! You haven't even heard our song yet." Tony said making his way to his guitar, leaving Stephanie hanging from the kiss.
"Yeah wait, come on guys, let show this chicks what we got!" Vic yelled, making us all laugh.
"Okay this one is called Yeah Boy and Doll Face." Vic said into the mic.
Were you honest when you said
"I could never leave your bed"
Wake me up and let me know you're alive
And will you fall in love again
Is the scent slowly spreading
I've been answering machines all night
And are the doctors dancing in
While the ambulances sing
Another boy without a sharper knife
The moment, that's where I
Kill the conversation
Wrap this up
With a knife that loves to feel
How do you know how deep to go before it's real
Take me home
Can I even complicate your breathing
I guess I'm just your average boy
This is me
With a knife in the back
And a grip on the grass
It's cold and I don't want to be here."
"That's all we got so far. What do you guys think?"
"That was beautiful!" Elise yelled and we all nodded in agreement. It was a really awesome song I have to admit. I know this guys are going to make it far, I feel it.
"Tonay!!" Stephanie made her way to Tony and jumped on him she place her legs around his waist as she kiss him all over. Here we go. I feel a tear stream down my cheek. I tried to wipe it away but more kept coming. "Guys that song was amazing but I really have to get going." I look away so they won't see or hear me sniffling.
"Want me to take you home."
"Nah Tone stay with Stephanie you guys are cute." I made my way to my car, I jump in, as I was starting the engine, I broke down I place my head against the steering wheel and cry.
Fuck this life.
6/21/13