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Trying to Hold It All Together

I was kinda hoping you'd stay.

People entered the medium-sized venue in anticipation of the night's events. Screams and cheers could be heard outside of the green room's paper thin walls. Tony's hands clenched the silver can of Red Bull which rested in the palm of his hands.

He wasn't ready for tonight. No, not one bit. Just the simple thought of screwing up or making the slightest hint of a mistake threw him completely off. The electrifying remainder of the contents slowly made its way down the back of his throat before he chucked the empty can into the closest trash bag.

Bags rested underneath his eyes, they had been there for a few weeks now. Ever since Vic had officially scored the band their first gig, he had stressed the importance of practice upon each one of the guys. The nonstop group practices had thrown Tony to the brink of destruction.

Sure, he wanted everything to be picture perfect for the first time but playing in front of people scared him. Even though he had done it more than twice before, never had he played with an entirely different band with an entirely diverse sound unlike the past band he had previously performed in. His nerves had skyrocketed over the roof; sweat already dripping.

"Tonight's going to be a good night," Vic announced to the group as he stared at them in his reflection while he finished smoothing down his hair. Turning around, his eyes fell over everyone inside the cramped room and smiled, "I can just feel it."

Both Mike and Jaime's cheers rang out without hesitation. "You got that right," Mike said gliding his hand across Jaime's as they performed a small, friendly hand gesture. The two had quickly become best friends once Vic welcomed the two newcomers into his and Mike's band. It was almost as if Jaime was slowly beginning to forget about his first best friend: Tony.

Tony struggled to fight back the pain forming in his body; slowly scratching at the tattoos that aligned all over his right arm. His existence in the group was similar to a ghost. Neither one of the other members could sense the fear or loneliness currently radiating off of his body; no one ever did.

"Pierce the Veil?" A man with a monitor headset questioned to the guys, interrupting the group session. Everyone but Tony proudly shook their head while their eyes fell onto the stage manager whose attention was placed back onto the clipboard inside his hands.

"You're on in less than 15, start making your way to the stage." Those were the last words the man addressed towards the band before shutting the door. Mike let another holler of joy escape his lips and fill the entire room. Desperately, Tony wished he could have the same amount of enthusiasm as Mike but things like that weren't easy for him to achieve.

His breathing began to pick up, his heart pace increasing as well. His fingers shook in sheer terror as he dreaded the thought of going up onstage before a large crowd. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. One by one, each of the guys collected themselves one last time before heading out into the long hallway. Tony on the other hand stayed inside the greenroom, lying through his teeth to the rest of the band that he simply had 'forgotten something'.

If he could only stall for a few more minute then he hopefully would be able to calm himself down. Gazing into the large, lighted mirror, Tony stared blankly at his miserable state. He eyed his terrible and fatigued appearance in utter disgust.

With his left hand gripping the worn out stand supporting the mirror, he angrily lashed at the man in the mirror. All it took was one strike, one small strike of his fist colliding with the mirror's glass to completely destroy the entire reflection in the blink of an eye.

Glass laid all around Tony's feet while the knuckles on his right hand bled furiously. Curses flew left and right inside the room but no one was there. No one was there to hear him cry out in pain and agony of his recent destruction. Growing up, his mom had always feared of him ever developing some type of Monophobia.

There wasn't anything Tony wouldn't hesitate giving up to be saved from the disaster he was.

...
The black sky was presently being illuminated by thousands of floating balls of lights. Tony sighed as his back pressed up against the hard concrete walls, his hands tugging on the end strings of his maroon, faded hoodie. The night had ended up being a complete disaster but then again he had already sensed the failure of the performance from the beginning.

Automatically, their set had started off rough. Vic's microphone had cut off within a few minutes into 'Chemical Kids' with both Jaime's and Mike's energy decreasing by the second. Jaime had tripped over the microphone cord while Mike followed up the many mishaps and lost track of what song Vic had instructed the band to play next.
They had practiced so much prior to the date of the show, every single one of them had completely forgot to compose a set list. Without one, each person was left to think to themselves for a solution leaving the crowd dazed and confused.

Tony's fingers raked through his brown hair as he sighed into the cold night. Dreadfully, he wished for this day to be over. He yearned to be back home again; buried underneath his massive pile of blankets and bed sheets. For those were the only things he felt himself could truly confide in along with music. Despite being inanimate, they were his only friends.

A slight creek brought his gaze to turn the other way. Walking out of the venue, a girl with long brunette locks crept outside and into the winter air. Her black AFI shirt wrapped around her delicate figure while her hands immediately rushed to warm up her exposed arms. That's when she noticed Tony's eyes glancing toward her.

"I'm sorry," her lips pursed up as she became tense in the moment. "I didn't notice anyone else was out here." She paused when Tony had yet to reply before starting to head back inside the war building. Her hand grabbed the door handle only to stop in her steps as his voice suddenly piped up.

"Wait," he called out for the brunette girl. Her head turned back into his direction and instantly he was met with her piercing green eyes; the sight of them comforting his fatigue figure. "Please don't go," Tony cried out to the stranger.

If he could get one person, just one, to pay him the slightest attention in his hopeless state he would be ever grateful. It wasn't always easy for him to ask for help, especially since everyone had their own ways of avoiding him entirely when it came to the suggestion.

The girl sat down onto the same gray, worn-down curb right beside Tony. Her eyes saddened at the sight of his horrid state and slid her hand on top of his own. Right off the bat, she could tell something was up once she moved closer to him. Beneath the detached facial expression, lay a guy who was frequently calling for help.

Even though she barely knew a single thing about the stranger to her right, it didn't stop her from offering a helping hand. "It's going to be alright," she cooed into Tony's ear. Together, they sat outside in the chilly weather with one another. His head rested on her newly covered skin after he offered his cozy hoodie to her in return for staying.

It felt as if eternity had rolled right past the two, yet then again time stopped for no one. A gasp left the girl's mouth causing Tony to stir in his spot; his head lifting up and off her shoulder. Her eyes glanced down at the small watch and widened she noticed the time.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized for the second time. Tony didn't have time to say anything to the girl before she jolted up in a rush."I should be going now," the girl whispered to him. The next thing he knew, her figure faded away back inside the venue leaving his calm state to fade back into the abyss.

He wanted to yell out to her again.

He so badly wished he had chased after her.

But deep down in his heart, he was kind of hoping she had stayed.


Notes

Wow, over 1k views!
I love you guys all so much thanks for taking the time to read this. :)
-Austincarlily

Comments

@theghostinside
Thanks. (: I'm hoping to put up at least one or two chapters by tonight.
Austincarlily Austincarlily
9/1/13
this is so good aaahhh
dabadabada dabadabada
9/1/13
@hollaforadolla
Thank you so much I'm glad you love it. (:
Austincarlily Austincarlily
8/26/13
This is amazing!
hollaforadolla hollaforadolla
8/26/13