Trying to Hold It All Together
I miss the old you, the one I used to talk to
Vic's brown orbs scanned the bright computer screen in front of him. Headphones currently sheltered both of his ears while his fingers scattered all over the keyboard before him; typing rapidly in the website's search bar. As he waited for his search to return with results, Vic took notice of the small 3:01 a.m. that was printed neatly in the upper right-hand corner of his laptop.
Another night spent staying up past his usual routine but it was important. At least that's what he thought in his mind. The slow computer continued to drag on Vic's main task to which he despised. Silence wasn't a problem for him as he waited; his brother's snoring already had that covered as he slept 'peacefully' on the couch. The sight caused Vic to crack a small smile before turning back around. If one person could ease his mind it would be Mike even at a time such as this.
To his luck, the page had finally loaded leaving him to roam the page. Hundreds and thousands of videos were posted online and hopefully he would have time to watch the majority of them. The people in the videos each ranged from kids to adults; all of them held passion in their eyes. In the click of a button, two young boys full of compassion, energy and spirit popped up first. Vic felt his lips curved upward forming a smile as he watched them perform one of Pierce the Veil's biggest singles of the summer.
Both of them made him forget about everything that had been troubling him for the past week. To his own dismay though, the video quickly came to an end. This only made him hunger for more to watch which his swiftly did. Soon enough one video became three and three only gotten larger from then on out. Surprisingly, he quickly found himself singing along to the covers as he got deeper in the search.
He couldn't help but to silently belt out the line, "Darling you'll be okay," because at the current moment that was the exact advice he needed. Vic desperately needed to be reassured that everything would be okay in the end due to all the stress piling up on him. The main reasoning being hoping to get the band back together; something no one would expect.
The band had played a huge part in his life but for everything to just have easily been thrown away made matters worse. He and the rest of the guys had given up everything for Tony, a person who he hadn't seen in a year. The last time that had happened was when he announced to the rest of the band he was quitting. Vic's mind effortlessly went back to that chilly, Chicago night.
"Great job out there tonight guys," a tech complimented the band. It was nearing 11:30 as the show came to a close. The guys were ushered to the back of the venue by security after leaving their instruments in the hands of roadies and technicians.
Tonight was going to be another night on tour worth celebrating about. Once again had tonight's show sold out which was the tenth time during the whole tour; it gave the band something to be proud of. Never could they ever imagine of actually selling out shows quickly but look where they were now.
Each person braced the cold, Chicago air, as the short trek from the venue to their tour bus began. Small talk could be heard amongst the group except for one person: Tony. The entire time he kept quiet, not a single word leaving his lips as they entered the toasty bus. Mike and Jaime had been the first ones to bring out the alcohol and get the 'party' started. Vic's laughed echoed throughout the room as he playfully brushed the two off before taking a seat on the other couch in front of Tony. The man sat uneasy; fingertips slowly scratching at the tattoos along his right arm. Vic continued to observe him as he quickly felt a tense feeling arise in the air.
"Tony." He whispered to just where only the two of them could hear. "Talk to me," Vic's voice urged him to tell him what was on his mind. It upset him to see anyone in the band or crew having an awful time.
"I was just about to do so," Tony mumbled back, "But I want everyone to hear this."As by luck, both Mike and Jaime returned from the back right on queue. Vic could tell the pair also sensed the atmosphere in the room because their eyes fell from a cheery to a more worried state.
Tony waited to make sure everyone was listening but mostly so he could get his words right the first time without screwing up. He swallowed the gulp in his throat and licked his lips before planting his eyes on the same three men he always considered familia.
"These last few shows are going to be it for me," Tony confessed.
"Of course it's going to be like that Tony," Jaime said, "It always is." He attempted to put some humor in the conversation. Sadly, this wasn't the time for it.
"That's the thing Jaime," He emphasized the first three words, "This time I'm not returning."
Vic wanted to gasp at Tony's words but he couldn't. Just a few minutes ago he had been playing alongside Tony only to find out he was done with the band. It wasn't something to easily take in and digest; Jaime made that clear.
"What do you mean you're leaving," He raised his voice, "You can't do that Tony. No, not after everything the four of us have been through together in the past years."
Tony opened his mouth to reply only to get shutout by Mike next.
"Jaime's right Tony. Why would you throw everything we've all worked for and not even care?" He tried to reason with him. "It honestly makes no sense."
Those exact words made the whole situation even worse than what it originally started out to be. Both Mike and Jaime were in the heat of the moment due to feeling pressured from Tony's announcement. I'll admit, Vic didn't like it either but then again he couldn't put my finger on where he was coming from unlike all the other times.
"You wouldn't understand." Tony mumbled underneath his breath before grabbing his Keystreet hoodie and heading back out into the winter air.
One by one, droplets fell onto Vic's now shut Macbook. Simply reminiscing about that day brought him to tears. If anything, he so desperately wanted to go back in time and had stopped Tony from storming off the bus. Maybe if he would've said one thing, at least one thing to change his mind Tony would most likely still be in the band.
Then again, some things just couldn't be mended back together.
Another night spent staying up past his usual routine but it was important. At least that's what he thought in his mind. The slow computer continued to drag on Vic's main task to which he despised. Silence wasn't a problem for him as he waited; his brother's snoring already had that covered as he slept 'peacefully' on the couch. The sight caused Vic to crack a small smile before turning back around. If one person could ease his mind it would be Mike even at a time such as this.
To his luck, the page had finally loaded leaving him to roam the page. Hundreds and thousands of videos were posted online and hopefully he would have time to watch the majority of them. The people in the videos each ranged from kids to adults; all of them held passion in their eyes. In the click of a button, two young boys full of compassion, energy and spirit popped up first. Vic felt his lips curved upward forming a smile as he watched them perform one of Pierce the Veil's biggest singles of the summer.
Both of them made him forget about everything that had been troubling him for the past week. To his own dismay though, the video quickly came to an end. This only made him hunger for more to watch which his swiftly did. Soon enough one video became three and three only gotten larger from then on out. Surprisingly, he quickly found himself singing along to the covers as he got deeper in the search.
He couldn't help but to silently belt out the line, "Darling you'll be okay," because at the current moment that was the exact advice he needed. Vic desperately needed to be reassured that everything would be okay in the end due to all the stress piling up on him. The main reasoning being hoping to get the band back together; something no one would expect.
The band had played a huge part in his life but for everything to just have easily been thrown away made matters worse. He and the rest of the guys had given up everything for Tony, a person who he hadn't seen in a year. The last time that had happened was when he announced to the rest of the band he was quitting. Vic's mind effortlessly went back to that chilly, Chicago night.
"Great job out there tonight guys," a tech complimented the band. It was nearing 11:30 as the show came to a close. The guys were ushered to the back of the venue by security after leaving their instruments in the hands of roadies and technicians.
Tonight was going to be another night on tour worth celebrating about. Once again had tonight's show sold out which was the tenth time during the whole tour; it gave the band something to be proud of. Never could they ever imagine of actually selling out shows quickly but look where they were now.
Each person braced the cold, Chicago air, as the short trek from the venue to their tour bus began. Small talk could be heard amongst the group except for one person: Tony. The entire time he kept quiet, not a single word leaving his lips as they entered the toasty bus. Mike and Jaime had been the first ones to bring out the alcohol and get the 'party' started. Vic's laughed echoed throughout the room as he playfully brushed the two off before taking a seat on the other couch in front of Tony. The man sat uneasy; fingertips slowly scratching at the tattoos along his right arm. Vic continued to observe him as he quickly felt a tense feeling arise in the air.
"Tony." He whispered to just where only the two of them could hear. "Talk to me," Vic's voice urged him to tell him what was on his mind. It upset him to see anyone in the band or crew having an awful time.
"I was just about to do so," Tony mumbled back, "But I want everyone to hear this."As by luck, both Mike and Jaime returned from the back right on queue. Vic could tell the pair also sensed the atmosphere in the room because their eyes fell from a cheery to a more worried state.
Tony waited to make sure everyone was listening but mostly so he could get his words right the first time without screwing up. He swallowed the gulp in his throat and licked his lips before planting his eyes on the same three men he always considered familia.
"These last few shows are going to be it for me," Tony confessed.
"Of course it's going to be like that Tony," Jaime said, "It always is." He attempted to put some humor in the conversation. Sadly, this wasn't the time for it.
"That's the thing Jaime," He emphasized the first three words, "This time I'm not returning."
Vic wanted to gasp at Tony's words but he couldn't. Just a few minutes ago he had been playing alongside Tony only to find out he was done with the band. It wasn't something to easily take in and digest; Jaime made that clear.
"What do you mean you're leaving," He raised his voice, "You can't do that Tony. No, not after everything the four of us have been through together in the past years."
Tony opened his mouth to reply only to get shutout by Mike next.
"Jaime's right Tony. Why would you throw everything we've all worked for and not even care?" He tried to reason with him. "It honestly makes no sense."
Those exact words made the whole situation even worse than what it originally started out to be. Both Mike and Jaime were in the heat of the moment due to feeling pressured from Tony's announcement. I'll admit, Vic didn't like it either but then again he couldn't put my finger on where he was coming from unlike all the other times.
"You wouldn't understand." Tony mumbled underneath his breath before grabbing his Keystreet hoodie and heading back out into the winter air.
One by one, droplets fell onto Vic's now shut Macbook. Simply reminiscing about that day brought him to tears. If anything, he so desperately wanted to go back in time and had stopped Tony from storming off the bus. Maybe if he would've said one thing, at least one thing to change his mind Tony would most likely still be in the band.
Then again, some things just couldn't be mended back together.
Notes
The next two chapters will focus on how Tony's isolation from the rest of the band affected each one separately. This chapter hopefully gives you an insight on Vic's feelings and whatnot.Thanks for reading, commenting, and subscribing. (: -Austincarlily
Thanks. (: I'm hoping to put up at least one or two chapters by tonight.
9/1/13