I awoke to Kellin sleeping soundlessly besides me and he looked adorable as ever. His jet black hair fell lazily over his face and his baby pink lips had formed a small smile whilst asleep, making him look ever more perfect. If that was even possible, that it.
Sitting up, I pecked his cheek softly, grabbed my bag and made my way out through to the bathroom. Once the cold tiles came into contact with my feet, I closed the door behind me and made my way over to the bathroom counter top and set my bag there. I was taking it that Kellin's parents hadn't arrived home yet, seeing as though I couldn't hear anyone downstairs. Plus, I had just made the risky decision of walking through from Kellin's room to the bathroom fully undressed, so I guess I was in the clear about them being gone. I began to root through my bag to find my phone and once I'd found it, it made me aware that it was 16:52pm. My phone also alerted me that I had 5 new messages.

08:28 am
From: Jaime
To: Vic
You not in school today? Can me and Ton come by yours later on to see you?

10:12 am
From: Turtle
To: Vic
Vic, man, how're you? Hope you've recovered. Me and Jaime came by the hospital yesterday but they said you were discharged. Text me soon, okay?

10: 37 am
From: Turtle
To: Vic
Where are you? Why haven't you replied yet?

11:42 am
From: Jaime
To: Vic
You didn't get back to me, can we come by or not? Where the fuck are you man?

12:04 pm
From: Turtle
To: Vic
Viiiiiiiccccccc, answer us!

I chuckled lightly before replying back to them.

To: Jaime
Calm down, dude! I'm at Kellin's and I'll be staying here for the rest of the week. Let Turtle know I'm alright. Hope you guys are well.

Tony and Jaime are my best friends, as you already know. Oh yes, Turtle is Tony's nickname if you're wondering! Anyway, I kind of feel bad for not staying in touch. Sure,I've been in hospital for a week in a coma or whatever it was but I still feel like it's partially my fault, even though I've only been out of there since, yesterday is it? I'll have to ring them later and see if they'll want to come down to Kellin's and, well, meet my new boyfriend. They don't know I'm gay so I'm not too sure as to how they'll take it. I just hope they'll support me through whatever shit me and Kells will be getting when I we go back to school.

I set the bath up, pushing in the plug and turning the faucet onto a reasonable temperature and I went to stand in front of the bathroom mirror only to be disgusted with what I saw. I was already naked. After my heated time with Kellin I didn't get chance to put an clothes back on because I fell asleep in his arms. The thing that looked up at me with sorrowful eyes was ugly, disgusting, fat and worthless. The scars in it's skin proved that. I glanced down at my arm and brought my finger to trace each line over each individual scar. There were too many to count. I wasn't too sure of how long Kellin had been stood watching me, but once I looked up he was there, stood in the doorway with a frown plastered across his face.
"You're beautiful, Vic."
You're not, Victor. Don't listen to him. You're ugly. Worthless. Fat. Useless.
"I'm not," I replied in a whisper. I was scared. I want to believe him, I really do, but the voice in my head tells me otherwise.
"Look at me," he whispered back and I turned my body to face him, but my eyes trailed to the floor. I'm scared that if I look up at him I'll just break down! I watched as his feet edged towards my own causing me to feel light headed. Once Kellin had reached me, after what felt like forever, he held me gently by the wrist and ran his fingers over my scars. His warm touch made me shiver as being butt naked had its downsides of being cold, but I forced a smile for him to know he hadn't hurt me. Well, it wasn't entirely forced. I loved Kellin, so smiling at him wasn't fake, but I had a slight fear I'd have to explain why. I want to, I'm just scared he'll think I'm a freak and throw me away. Do you know what I mean? Kellin's just too good for me, he deserves so much more than me.
He embraced me into a hug and buried his head deep into my neck and I was kindly welcomed to his jacket just how I liked it; warm with the scent of Kellin. I placed my arms around his waist; to which i felt the rim of his boxers, rested my head on his chest, and began to silently cry, even though I knew he'd be able to feel it on his bare skin. Kellin was so good to me, despite my flaws, and that's what scared me. No one's ever accepted me like Kellin has. Maybe it's the new feeling of being wanted or loved that's making me scared. I just hope I'll get over it soon.
Kellin's lips neared my ear, "I love you no matter what, Vic. I'll always love you despite all the shit you've been through. You're worth so much more than you think you are and I'll get you to see this sooner or later. Your scars are your battle wounds, and they won't make me love you any less. They don't make you any less beautiful than you already are. I know how you feel, and I want you to know you can always talk to me. I'll listen to you."
"You wouldn't understand," I murmered, and I was quite surprised he actually heard me.
"You'd be surprised, Vic," and with that his teeth began nibbling on my lobe and I allowed a moan to escape through my lips. However, my thoughts trailed off to his last comment. Does he know more about me than I suspected? Or did he too, like me, self harm? I hadn't noticed any marks on his wrists, but then again, not everyone makes marks on their wrists. Kellin's life seemed too perfect to do such things to himself, though. He had parents that he seemed close to. Parents that loved him. Parents that were alive to love him. Maybe I should ask him? Or would that seem too personal, and maybe even seen as inconsiderate?
Before I could think of anything else, I was dragged out of my thoughts by Kellin lifting me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and rested my head into the groove in his neck and smiled to myself.
I was welcomed once again to Kellin's bedroom; he must have turned on the light as he came to look for me.
He sat me down on his bed to which I automatically pulled him into me but he pulled away slightly, making me pout.
"Vic," he chuckled lightly as he took a seat besides me, looking directly into my eyes. I watched as he began to take off his jacket, exposing his delicate arms and chest to me. And that's when my heart sunk. There were so many scars, some whiter than others. But then again, there were so many cuts. Luckily there were no fresh ones, but I'd say he'd cut in the past week or two by the wounds that were currently in healing.
"Kellin, I..."
Weakly, Kellin smiled at me and pulled up the legs of his boxers revealing many more. I felt the need to cry. Not because he cuts, but for whatever reason or person has made him feel so low that he'd ruin his own perfect body for their comments. Reaching my hand out I traced the marks on his thighs, and then his arms. How had I not noticed these before? Did this prove I really was a horrible person? I hadn't even noticed my own boyfriends cuts. His own scars. His own battle wounds, as he called mine not long ago.
"Kellin... I'm so sorry... I didn't know... I feel terrible," I whispered aloud in between small kisses on his lips.
"But you have nothing to be sorry for," Kellin replied as he pulled away slowly, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke. I didn't know how to respond so I planted another kiss on his lips and I wished it could have lasted forever. He understands how I feel, he knows what it's like to feel burned out. He knows what it's like to take the blade to your own skin.
"Promise me you won't hurt yourself again," I told him as I pushed my neck into his once more. I'd promised him already, the night I'd broken down in his arms, even though I regretted it straight afterwards. Only now, I don't think I'd have a reason to intentionally hurt myself. I have Kellin to keep all the bad thoughts away.
His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me up onto his knees, I wrapped my legs around him with my head still buried in the crook of his neck. "I promise you, Vic."
And that's when I knew that what me and Kellin had was more than love. If you believe in soul mates, I guess that's what you could call us. Two people destined to be together. We were put on the earth to find each other, to help each other, and now we'd be able to recover from the illness rotting away in us together and happily. There'd be no need to return back to it, as there is no reason for me to leave Kellin. He's my everything.
"I love you, Kellin. I don't think you understand how much. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably have been dead, and then I wouldn't have had this amazing relationship with you. You've given me a reason to live and I'm finally thankful for my life." That's exactly how I felt too. What's the point in shedding off lies?
"I feel the exact same, Vic. I love you so much."
I pulled my head away from his neck and pecked his nose, causing Kellin to blush beetroot red. His hands lingered down to my thighs and rested themselves there, smiling at me.
"You're beautiful, and I'll make you see that you are. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to make you see that you are, I will."
I could feel my cheeks burning, "Spend the rest of your life with me anyway, no matter what happens, I want you."
I wanted him. No. I needed him. Kellin was the reason why I wanted to stay alive, the reason why I wanted to wake up every morning. To see him, be with him.
"I'm here, Vic. I'll be here until you drive me away," he replied with a kiss. I allowed myself to get lost in his lips, it was more like a trance to me.
I don't know how to express it. The thought of me and Kellin, Kellin and me, together for what? Forever maybe? Somehow manages to drive me crazy. I love the thought of being able to wake up to see his brilliant face each morning. To kiss those soft lips of his whenever I feel like it. To look deep into the blue eyes of his whilst running my fingers through his hair. To sit and talk to him about whatever I want, whenever I want. It's small things like that, that makes me happy to wake up. You already know that I used to not want to wake up. Afraid of the constant beatings at school. Afraid af every small comment made by almost everyone. Afraid of the voice inside my head telling me to take the blade to my wrist, to swallow all the pills, to hang that noose around my neck. But not anymore - hopefully anyway. I now have Kellin. Someone who won't judge me. Someone I can shed all my feelings out to without the fear of feeling 'different' or a 'freak'. I truly feel like he cares about me. And I care about him, and that means a lot to me.
I had become to wrapped up in his kiss, in my thoughts, that I'd forgotten to reply to him. I pulled back slowly from his lips, our noses resting against each others, lips brushing against one anothers.
"I'll never drive you away. I'll always want you," I say to him and of course it's true. Everything I say to him is true.
"I'll always want you too, Vic. You're my everything now." I wish you'd of been there to see how I reacted. Firstly, I blushed, deeper than I had before. Whilst I was crimson, or maybe it could have been blood, red, I started to tear up, but this time I let them run freely down my tanned cheeks. I wasn't not going to show that he'd made me feel so happy that I thought crying was the only way out. After all, tears express how you feel better than words, right? Whether they're happy or sad tears. After he'd seen my tears, I got a little more over excited than I should have done, but I pushed him back on the bed smacking my lips against his. The thought of being someone's everything is something someone should cherish, and as you can tell, I really do. Especially if I'm Kellin's everything. He's my everything too. I have nothing else to be my everything. Sure, I have Mike, but apart from make me feel like complete shit what else does he do for me? Nothing. That's right.
I felt Kellin's fingers run up to my waist and rested themselves there. My hands were currently on either side of his face pulling him as close to me as it was possible. His mouth opened slightly, and his tongue began to roll itself along my lip. It wanted entry, and so I let it. I let mine slip through into his mouth. Our lips mouled perfectly against each other, like they were made for each other and our tongues danced kindly with one another.
Rocking my hips against Kellin's, his hands moved further down to my behind and this reminded me I was completely naked. Still. It didn't phase me, and it clearly didn't phase Kellin either as he grabbed me, and pushed his hips back against mine.
"Kells," I moaned under his lips.
"Hmm...baby?" he whispered in a seductive tone. Plus to add to how I felt right now, which is rather turned on as you can probably tell, he just called me baby. I don't know if it's to turn me on even more, or he means that I really am his baby. Either way, it's pretty damn cute, and also quite hot if I must admit.
His teeth grazed against my lower lip, causing me to moan more loudly this time, to which Kellin smirked.
Rolling us over, Kellin straddled my hips once more. Pretty much déjà vu from last night if I'm most honest, but I can't complain, I enjoyed it. My arms were pushed up over my head as Kellin began to make his mark by leaving love bites on my neck. My moans were becoming ever more louder which made Kellin bite down harder. Gasps of pleasure left my lips, causing my length to become hard. I grinned slightly as Kellin took notice of this, and pushed his hardened, yet clothed, length against my own. So I decided to take advantage of this and I moved my hands to the rim of his boxers, pushing them down as far as I could do so before Kellin slipped them off and threw them onto the floor.
I already knew the feeling of this type of contact, so I didn't gasp for that reason. Sorry, we didn't gasp for that reason.
"Kellin, are you home?"
That was the reason why.
Kellin's dad was home from work.
Kellins' dad wasn't too pleased on the whole 'my son is gay' idea, but yesterday he'd kind of accepted it. But even then I don't think he really wanted to.
"Yeah, I'm home," Kellin yelled back at his dad. Kellin pecked my lips before getting up and making himself acceptable to stand in front of his dad. He placed on his boxers, along with some black skinnies and a white, baggy tee. He then quickly routed around for a jacket, but in failure of doing so, found a long sleeved, red and black checked shirt, which I'm guessing he used as a jacket quite often. Kellin then brushed back his hair with his fingers and looked over at me.
"I'd suggest you find something to wear, otherwise my dad will go through the roof to see you like that," he said with a smirk.
Kellin made his way over to the door before stopping and looking over at me.
"I love you, Vic."
"I love you too, Kells."
And with that he was out the door, leaving me in the all too familiar room which would be my home for the rest of the week. Only I hoped I could stay here, with Kellin, forever.