Tony's POV

I rolled over, hitting the off button on the alarm. I didn't want to wake up today, today was the day. Today was Bianca's funeral. "Vic!! Have you seen my black tie?!" I heard Mike's voice.

"Back of the sofa!" I groaned. It was too early for this. I rolled out of bed & out of the bedroom. Everyone suddenly went quiet when they saw me. I wish they'd stop doing that. I was fine. Okay that was a lie, I wasn't fine but if I said it enough maybe I'd convince myself that I was indeed fine.

"Natalie's downstairs with Adriana." Vic flashed half a smile at me. I nodded & made my way down. Adriana was sat in her child's seat, making a mess with her food while Natalie raced around the kitchen cleaning up./ I coughed a little making her jump.

"Jesus christ Tone, you gave me a heart attack." she laughed a little. Why are every single one of them not letting themselves grieve? I didn't understand it, she meant so much to all of us yet they weren't allowing themselves to grieve. I sat down at the table, earning a disapproving look from Natalie. "Are you going in your boxers Perry?"

"Huh? What?" I picked up Adriana's spoon, making an aeroplane noise as I tried to help her eat her food rather than throw it.

"It's ten past nine, the car will be here in ten." I dropped the spoon into the food. The rest of the guys were now downstairs. Everyone was ready apart from me. I ran upstairs, quickly getting ready. No I was not eager for today, I just wanted it to be over.

I walked back downstairs trying to do my tie. "Damn it.." I mumbled, giving up. Mike came over to me, doing it up for me as well. "Remember when she used to get frustrated with you in a morning because you could never do your school tie?"

"Yeah, she always said 'Cesar Antonio Soto Perry, one day you will need to learn how to do this for when you get married to that special lady'." I smiled at the memory. He straightened off my tie & stood back. "She'd be proud of you Tone."

"Yeah, you too Mike." Wait, did me & Mike just have a normal conversation? He'd been off the drink 2 days & you could already tell the difference in him. I picked up Adriana & cleaned her face. "Mummy would be proud of you too princess."

"Cars here." Jaime announced. I froze on the spot, looking at the wall. I refused to let them see me cry, I refused to let my daughter see me cry. "We'll give you a minute." They all headed outside. I walked into the hallway, stopping at the mirror. "Please come back..." I whispered.

***

"A speech will now be said by Tony Perry & Jaime Preciado." I sighed, putting Adriana onto Natalie's lap I got up. I could feel myself beginning to shake, the tears already forming. I stood at the platform thing, looking out at the people. "Bianca was the most amazing, beautiful girl you coul...could e-ever meet. Her radiance shined t-thro...I...I j-jus...I just w-wish...I'm sorry, I can't do this." I stepped down & sat back down.

I wasn't prepared to say bye to her. I couldn't. After the ceremony & the burial we ended up back at Vic's place. There weren't too many people there, just close friends & family. I had been avoiding her parents all day. "I'm going to put Adriana down for her nap." I said to Vic, as she rubbed her eyes. It had been a long day for her.

Leaving her room after she had settled I walked straight into Mr.Márquez, Bianca's step-father. "I'm sorry sir..." I mumbled. I couldn't look at him.

"You were brave today Cesar. Now come, I want you tell me some things about her." I followed him outside, to the back garden. We sat down at the table that was out there.

"What would you want to know?" I looked in every place but his face.

"Anything. Take your time." he smiled a little. Yes I noticed it from the corner of my eye. I took a deep breath.

"Your daughter was amazing. Life & soul of our little group of friends. All the way through high school we were best friends as you are aware..." I could feel myself beginning to choke up. I wasn't ready for this talk with him yet.

"You loved her didn't you?" I nodded, looking down at my hands. I wasn't going to lie to him. "She loved you as well Cesar." I shook my head. "Look at me, I know my daughter. Excuse me, I knew my daughter. She loved you."

"I'm sorry sir, but she was happy with Mike Fuentes." I sighed at this.

"That Mike Fuentes boy was never good enough for my little girl." I glanced up, Mike was stood a little away, smoking. He looked down at the ground. He had heard. I felt sorry for him.

"Mr.Márquez, I can assure you Mike was good enough for Bianca." I said loud enough for Mike to hear. "Sure they had their fights, they had their differences, but they loved each other. Non of us are perfect sir. With all due respect sir, you weren't exactly there for her when she needed someone." The words tumbled from my mouth before I could stop them. I clapped my hand over my mouth. I was in pure shock right now.

"Sir, I am truly sorry. That was not a thing to say." I rushed.

"Don't apologise Cesar. You are quite right. I wasn't there for my daughter when I should of been." He sighed & stood up. "I must find my wife, we will continue later." I nodded as he walked away. Mike made his way over to me. I was so pissed at myself right now.

"You are such a fuck up Tony." I was talking to myself. Yes I'm well aware that is not a healthy sign.

"Tone?"

"What?" I snapped. Oh jesus, I need to control myself.

"I'm not quite sure why you defended me, but thank you." Mike smiled at me.

"Don't sweat it. Look, I have to go" I ran out of the back gates. I had no idea where I was going to but I needed to get away. I ended up sat down by the lake. I used to bring Bianca here when she needed a break. Which used to be an awful lot when Mike & her dated.

"Turtleee." she sighed.

"Yes beautiful?" I wrapped my arm around her.

"What am I going to do?" she mumbled.

"I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to go back to Mike's, sort things out then have angry make up sex with him." I laughed. God that pained me to tell her that. She let out a slight giggle.

"Bu..."

"No buts, now go." I smiled at her.

"Thanks Tony, you're the bestest friend anyone could ask for." she smiled, kissing my cheek & hugging me.

I laid down on the grass, putting my hands behind my head. "Bianca, I know it's too late to tell you this but I've always loved you. I never told you because you were always so happy with Mike. If I could, I'd turn back time. I'd make you mine, I'd protect you, I'd make sure you'd still be here now."

It was beginning to get cold but I didn't care. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to go back. I pulled out my phone & checked it. I had 12 missed calls and a dozen texts from everyone. I quickly replied back telling them I was okay before returning to my thoughts.

I had no idea why but a small smile began to come on my face.

This was the start of the rollercoaster life once again.