Turbulence.

I stared up at the ceiling, watching my fan spin in circles. Lydia's voice was echoing in my head and no matter what I did, It wouldn't leave. Her blue teary eyes were also engraved in my head, making my hate myself so much more than what I already do. All I did was bring up shitty memories for the both of us, except her memories were alot worse than mine. I quickly got off my bed and grabbed a pair of boxers and shorts before walking into bathroom that I shared with Jaime in our two room apartment. I turned on the hot water and stripped down. Standing under the hot water, I zoned out, high school coming back to me.

I smiled as I saw my girlfriend standing at her locker, her black hair flowed down into the middle of her back, swaying side to side as she moved. I walked up to her with a small bouquet of flowers and tapped her shoulder.
"I'm sorry about last night, but happy late birthday."
She grabbed the flowers as I held them out for her then stared at them, no emotions written on her face.
"No thanks."
She held them out to me, waiting for me to take them back.
"Well I got them for you."
"I don't want them."
"Really? If this is about not showing up last night, I apologize. Mom needed some help shopping. It ended up lasting longer than I expected. I'll make it up to you."
"I don't care about the damn dinner, Tony. I just don't want the fucking flowers. They're ugly."
She quickly let go of the bouquet, letting them hit the floor.
That's a lie. It was a bouquet of purple anemones. That's her favorite flower.
"I'm going to class now."
She quickly slammed her locker shut, stepped over the flowers and walked off. The only thought that came to my head was her best friend's name, Sam.
Lydia used to have me open her locker, so I quickly entered the combination and put the flowers on the top shelf. Maybe she'll change her mind after class.
I ran down one of the hallways, finding Sam's class. 209.
The door was open, waiting for the rest of the students to enter the class. There was a little over five minutes until school had officially started, which gives me enough time to talk to her.
"Sam. Come here!"
Her attention left the small group of people surrounding her desk to look at me, the worried expression on my face made her smile drop as she stood up.
"What's up, Tony?"
"Did you say anything to Lydia?"
Her expression changed into one that I couldn't read. I was never good at reading people.
"N-no. Why would I want to say something to her?"
"In that case. Sam, we're over. This... fucking around thing that we have, it's done. As if it never happened. Got it?"
She bit her bottom lip and nodded.
"I think that's best... I'm supposed to be Lydia's best friend and here I am, fucking her boyfriend."
I nodded and kissed her cheek one last time before running to my class.
~

She's ignored me all day. I called her name once when I saw her in the hallway and she stopped, as if she was debating whether or not she wanted to see me. Of course, I heard her sigh and continue walking off. I ran my fingers through my hair and walked to my locker, until something caught my eye. On the top of the gray plastic trash can sat the flowers I bought her except this time, there was a small white paper tucked between the flowers. I slowly picked up the flowers.
My stomach dropped as I pulled the paper out of the flowers.
In her cursive writing were two little words.
"It's over."
That's where it was decided. There was no talking it out, no reason behind for her ending it. Just "it's over". She didn't want to be with me anymore. I don't blame her though.
I couldn't stop asking myself where does that leave us. She's my best friend.


"Why the hell am I so dumb?"
I groaned loudly into my hands as I rubbed water on my face.
"Why does this even matter?"
I groaned once again, dragging out my words.
"I haven't spoken to her for a year. Why the hell do I suddenly feel like I need her?"
Back then I didn't realize it, but now I do. I think Lydia was someone that could've been something good. The one girl who I saw myself being with for years. Even if she's not the 'one', she's still a girl that i'd love to be with. Maybe she meant a lot more to me back then than I wanted myself to believe. I didn't want to be the guy tied down to one girl, being joked on all the time for being in love.
I laid my head on the wet tiles of the shower and watched as water droplets ran down and connected with eachother.
~

Cold water suddenly covered my body, snapping me out of my thought. I turned off the water and silently cursed at myself for using all the hot water. Standing in the shower, I dried myself off before stepping out on the small blue rug. I slid my boxers and shorts on and walked back to my room, drying my hair with another towel, letting the towel hand off my head after I was done.
As I walked passed my dresser, I flipped the on switch on my stereo, sending Taking Back Sunday through my room.
I quietly sang along as I laid down on my bed.

"But I love the way you’d roll excuses off the tip of your tongue as I slowly fall apart."

I dropped my phone on my bare stomach, trying not to think of anything. I closed my eyes and continued to sing along, only to be interrupted by my phone vibrating.

From:
Vic.:
I'm bored.
Wanna get your guitar and come over?
Work on some new songs?

I replied to him telling him that I'd be over soon.
At least it would get my mind off of Lydia for the next few
hours. I groaned dramatically as I got off my bed, sliding on my shoes and grabbing a shirt out of my dresser. I grabbed my phone and wallet, shoving them in my pockets. I put a few picks in my pocket before I grabbed my acoustic guitar and threw on a snapback.
~

Vic and I sat in his studio, which at one point was a garage. The door leading into the house was on the left side of the garage. Across from that was a small desk with some computer equipment, there was also a studio mic and some amps by the desk. Against the garage door was a love seat with a few guitars to the side and across the room, on the other side of the garage was a drumset.
I was mindlessly strumming on my guitar, sitting on the floor indian style as Vic sat at the desk, jotting down a few lyrics in a notebook. He had his headphones on covering one ear and hummed to the guitar he's recorded.
"Vic?!"
"I'm in the studio, Mike!"
I looked up from my guitar to see Vic's younger brother standing in the doorway.
Something inside of me twitched, sending a small amount of jealousy through me.
What does she even see in him?
He smiled and waved over to me before walking towards his drumset and sitting behind it. My eyes watched him until he spoke again.
"You know we have a loveseat you can sit on here."
I brought my attention to the door to see Lydia, nervously standing there. She nodded and cautiously walked across the room, ignoring my gaze even though it followed her every move.
"Vic, Tone, this is Lydia. Lydia this is Vic and Tony."
Tiny motioned to each one of us as he spoke to her.
Vic smiled at her and held out his hand. She took it and said a quiet 'hello'. She then looked at me, faking a smile then saying 'hi'.
I gave her a confused look before waving in her direction, playing along with her charade.
"I don't know if you remember from the show, but Tony was in one of the bands from Saturday."
She nodded and sat back in her seat, examining the posters on the walls. They varied from movie posters to band posters, along with the Mexican flag in the middle of the wall.
"I'm actually really good friends with the bassist. I was glad he said the show was at Shaka's, since I had already had plans with you."
She smiled at Mike, completely ignoring me. Then again, I
could always make myself part of their conversation and since
she's pretending like she doesn't know me, it would be extremely rude of her to be a bitch to me.
"You know, I remember seeing you in the crowd. It's weird how small this world is."
I chuckled alittle and went back to strumming on my guitar.
"Yeah. I got a few pictures from that night... if you want to see them."
I smiled up at her before walking to the loveseat, occupying the seat next to her.
"Aye. Watch it, Tone. She's mine." Mike chuckled as he leaned back on his stool, twirling a drum stick between his fingers.
I laughed and shoo'd him away.
The jealousy is back.
She's yours? Ha. She's more mine than she'll ever be yours, Mike.
He laughed and stood up informing us he's going out back for a cigarette and Vic covered both his ears as he wrote down a few lines.
I leaned over Lydia as she unlocked her phone, going into her gallery to find the pictures of that night.
Her thumb slowly slide over the screen, stopping on a picture of me.
"This one is my favorite."
She whispered only loud enough for me to hear.
"Why?"
"It reminds me of high school... You just..."
She sighed and ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair.
"It's hard to explain..."
"When is anything easy for you to explain?"
She shrugged and continued to show me some more pictures. A few minutes later, she locked her phone and set it in her lap.
"It reminds me of high school. Before I found out who you really were. Back when you were the Tony I liked."
I looked down at my hands, squeezing my guitar pick.
"Dee, I made a mistake. But I can promise you that the Tony you like, is still here."
She agreed with me then stood up, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"I know. He's the one that is trying to get me to forgive him. I can see the fact that you're sorry when you look at me. I'm just not ready to forgive you yet."
"How long?"
She shrugged then walked towards the door, pulling her cigarettes out of her back pocket.
"One day though. Being honest, I know some part of me wants you back in my life. I just think it's the part of my that wants to hold on to my past."
~*Lydia's POV*~

"I'm gonna head out. 'Kay, babe?"
I slid open the glass door and poked my head outback, where Mike was, to let him know I was leaving. I don't want to be in the same room as Tony and Mike. Tony being an ex and Mike being... Well, a fuck buddy. I don't want something to come up where Mike finds out that Tony and I have a past.
Mike nodded before quickly giving me a peck on the lips.
"Text me later, then?"
I nodded and smiled at Mike as he sat back down in a white
lawn chair, inhaling on a blunt.
I made my way to the front door, saying goodbye to Vic and Tony on the way there. Of course, Tony made this difficult and asked for me to wait up for him. I agreed and walked to my tahoe, leaning on it while watching Vic's front door for Tony to come out of it. I stared at the front door as I lit up a cigarette, placing my pack in my front pocket.
Tony slowly came walking out of the front door, fixing his snapback. He gets so fidgety when he's nervous.
"What did you want?"
He handed me a small piece of paper with seven sloppy numbers on it. "I want you to have this. Text me whenever you feel like it."
His number is the same. I've memorized it, knowing it by heart. If I ever felt like texting him, I would've already.
"Like I said, Tony. You can't show up after a year and expect me to be fine and willing to forgive you."
I shoved it in my pocket then sighed when my eyes met his big brown ones. He doesn't even try to make a 'puppy-dog' face, it just happens.
"But if it counts as something, I like your persistence. Even though it is slightly annoying."
"I don't understand this... I thought everything I felt towards you was over. That I was over you. But seeing you that day I was with Jaime, I realized how much I really missed you. Dee, you were my bestfriend. I told you things I couldn't even tell Jaime... And because you and I dated, everything got fucked up."
"No. Because you cheated on me everything got fucked up."
He looked down at the ground, as if my words slapped him in the face.
"I never expected for you to forgive me off the bat. I just... I want you in my life again. Tomorrow.... If you're not busy, we can do something together."
I nodded and opened my car door, climbing in.
"I'll text you tomorrow morning and we can try to figure something out."
Tony quickly nodded and kissed my cheek before closing my door for me. His smile was ear to ear.
"Tomorrow morning. Got it. And be safe driving back home."
I nodded and put the key in the ignition, letting the engine warm up alittle before leaving.

Notes

Title credit;;
The Story so Far - 680 South.