A War in My Head

I know it was a low blow, trust me I know better than anyone else that it was a low blow but why the heck was he being awkward about Tony asking me to prom. I mean I kinda guessed he asked me because I was the only female he was really comfortable around other than Harley and she was clearly off limits. I’ve only been friends with Vic for a week and already he’s been kinda douchey to me. Is this a preview of what friendships with him are like? Was Taylor right?

I made my way out of the school doors and found my car in the parking lot. I had missed lunch today to do some extra studying. I needed to catch up on some work so the guys were understanding. I sat in my car staring at the everyone who passed me by, hoping that the kids would hurry up and leave the lot so I could too. I rolled the window down and looked out the window when suddenly a face popped up in front of me. “Hey” Vic said happily. Did he forget about his actions earlier today?

“Hi?” I said, unsure of how I should be acting. He was so damn confusing.

“Hey look I’m sorry for being really weird earlier. I shouldn’t have been so awkward about you and Tony going to prom together. I know you’re just being a good friend to him. It doesn’t mean anything right?” He looked so cocky about it.

“What if it did mean something? Is that a problem?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. He bit his lip and looked at his feet.

“N-no of course not. I’m just not sure how to take it. I mean... Friday night you said some stuff to me and it was kinda like-” I cut him off.

“Like I said something that was completely awkward and shouldn’t have been said. You didn’t react well and neither did I. It’s okay, things are good. Plus you’ve got Harley and I don’t really know what’s going on there so like figure that out before you act like my personal life is something for you to get involved in without permission” I shrugged. He nodded slowly and sighed.

“I don’t understand what’s going on with Harley either, she is kinda weird. She wants to hook up but no relationship” He said leaning against the window of my car.

“Do you want that also?” I questioned him, staring at him for answers.

“No, I want to be with someone who wants me and only me. I’ve never had that and honestly that’s all I want” He kicked some stones with his feet.

“Hey do you wanna come with me to Starbucks? I wanted to go get a frap but I feel like a total weirdo if I go myself straight after school” I asked. His eyes lit up and nodded enthusiastically. He ran around to the passenger side of my car and got in.

“Thanks and I really am sorry about earlier” He looked at me with a small smile.

“It’s okay, don’t sweat it okay” I started the car and drove out of the parking lot. “Isn’t Mike gonna wonder where you are?” I asked.

“Nah I told him I was gonna go for a walk after school anyway. He just took my car home” Vic told me. I nodded and continued driving.

“So are you going to prom too?” I questioned, hoping he wouldn’t get weird again.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna miss it and seeing Tony with a date will be a sight. He’ll probably get really nervous” Vic laughed.

I stopped the car at a red light and looked over at Vic again. He was staring out the window. “I think it’s sweet that he asked me. It was nice and anyway I wouldn’t have had a date otherwise” I laughed, driving off at the green light.

“I was actually going to ask you” He said softly. I looked over at him and laughed, waiting for him to laugh too but he just stared at me with a straight face.

“Wait for real?” I raised an eyebrow. He nodded quickly.

“Yeah, I had this big plan to ask you and then give you the most magical night of your life, hence why I was so pissy today when I found out. It’s kinda funny actually but Tony has saved me some effort and time now” He laughed it off. I felt a sickening feeling of sadness and regret.

“Oh, sorry?” I laughed it off too. There was no use in being weird about it to him.

“Anyway Tony is a better dancer than me” He smiled, turning his head to look out the window.

I found a parking space in the mall and we got out the car. “So are you going to prom with Harley then?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.

“Yeah, I asked her this afternoon” He shrugged. I nodded as we walked to the enterence. “I don’t got into college by the way” He announced.

“Oh wow, congrats! What are you studying again?” I congratulated him. He grinned at me pleased with himself.

“Graphics and Design” He smiled down at me. I nodded and patted him on the arm.

“Well I’m proud of you” I told him.

“So what are you doing after school again?” He asked me.

“Um, well I’m going LA to try and get a record deal for my band” I said, embarrassment covering me.

“I wish I had your guts. I hope it works out for you” He put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me.

“Thank you. I haven’t even told my parents yet. Basically just gonna pack my bags and move the day after graduation. Alex and Brian have bought a van so we can do shitty tours and live the touring life. I’m so unbelievably excited to just go for it” I gushed. He smiled at me the whole time I was talking.

“Well I support you and if you ever need a merch guy, I’m your guy” He said pointing his thumbs at himself. I giggled at how goofy he was being.

We were almost at Starbucks when a guy from our school walked up to us. “Hey Lynn” He smiled at me.

“Hey Jack” I said with barely any enthusiasm. He was popular and basically sucked up to

Taylor as much as possible, which made me have to have shitty encounters with him.

“Lynn, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?” He asked, looking kinda nervous.

“Oh, Jack sorry I already have a date” I apologised. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Vic.

“Who him?” He laughed hysterically.

“No, but what difference does it make?” I shook my head at him. He stopped laughing and looked at me seriously.

“I’m being real here, go to prom with me” He was kinda forceful in his tone.

“Jack I told you I have a date” I sighed.

“Who?” He questioned me.

“Tony Perry” I said softly. His eyes lit up.

He began laughing uncontrollably. “Oh my God, you’re going to prom with a freak! Why?!” He said through laughter.

“He’s not a freak” I said sternly. He shook his head, still laughing.

“He doesn’t even have a dad, his dad couldn’t even stick around because he’s that much of a freak” Jack said harshly.

“Say that again asshole” Vic spoke up. Jack looked at him and cocked his head to the side.

“What did you call me?” Jack was getting angry now.

“Don’t speak about Tony like that” Vic stood up for his friend. I stood next to Vic, I grabbed the helm of his shirt and pulled him back a bit. Scared of what might happen, Jack is a violent person and I didn’t want Vic to get hurt.

“What are you going to do about it?” Jack laughed in Vic’s face. I looked at Vic and saw something I’ve never seen before. He was furious.

Everything happened so swiftly that I can’t honestly tell what happened. But Vic went crazy, he attacked Jack. Vic punched Jack until he fell to the ground and then he wouldn’t stop. I tried to pull Vic off Jack but security came running in and stopped the fight. They kicked us all out.
Jack ran off in one direction and we walked back to my car.

Vic had a horrible look on his face but I was just utterly shocked. I now see Vic in a whole new light, he protects his friends and that’s something I admire so much. We got back into my car and I just sat with my hands on the steering wheel. Vic stared off into space but the silence was causing so much tension. I started the car and drove off to my favourite spot. A small hilltop that overlooked all of San Diego.

“Where are we?” He asked quietly.

“This is where I come when everything gets too much” I mumbled, shutting the car off and getting out. He followed suit and I went over to the top of the hill and sat on the tree trunk, letting my legs swing because I was too short for them to touch the ground. The sun was beginning to set over the city and the sky was orange. San Diego looked so pretty.

“It’s beautiful” He whispered. I looked at him and nodded.

“You’re right. That’s why I come here” I sighed. “I thought you might need it, so I brought you here” I said softly, looking over him. He didn’t have a scratch on him.

“Thank you” He mumbled, sitting on the trunk next to me. Our arms were briefly touching, I noticed his hand on his lap so I picked it up and held it. He looked at me and smiled softly.

“Trust me, you'll be just fine and I need your trust just for tonight" I sung softly. He looked at me intensely, unsure of how to act. “This is not a place in my head, reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel" I couldn’t help but smile, the lyrics felt so beautiful and accurate. “This is not just all in your head, mind over matter makes these things feel so real” He looked down at me and stared into my eyes.

He took a deep breath and then began singing. “If you kiss me goodnight, I'll know, everything is alright" I was shocked... was that a hint? “Second chances won't leave us alone, won't leave us alone, ‘Cause there's faith in love” I closed my eyes and leaned in. Our lips met briefly before he pulled back, the rush of embarrassment ran over me.

He stood up and pulled me over to the edge of the hill. “What are you doing?” I asked, confused as Hell.

“Have you ever really danced on the edge?” He questioned. I looked at him and shook my head no. “Just hold my hand and jump” He mumbled, holding his hand out for me. I took it and he pulled me into his arms. Without hesitation our lips collided.

I felt shocked, scared and a little bit happy that it happened. His hands fumbled their way up to the back of my head, pulling me in closer to him. I couldn’t help feel slightly turned on with the way he was being. It was so luring. Our lips clashed and our tongues fought against each other, a shock of pain shot through me when he bit my lip. I haven’t really done this before, maybe once or twice but nothing this serious. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing.

He pushed me backwards towards the tree trunk until my back hit off it, he lifted my legs up and sat me down on it. I felt my nerves grow with every second, did I want this? I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back slightly. “Vic stop” I mumbled. He looked down at me with confusion.

“Did I do something wrong?” He looked worried, it was really cute how gentle he was being.

“No, you didn’t. I’m just...” I was scared to say it. “Nervous” I swallowed my pride.

He looked down at me with a small smile. “So am I” He mumbled and leaned back into my lips.

Notes