A War in My Head

“What is your issue Taylor?” I asked, again. She looked at me with confusion.

“What do you mean?” She shook her head. I rolled my eyes.

“You clearly don’t like my new friends, why?” I questioned. She just sighed loudly.

“Well, for a start being friends with them is totally going to down your popularity, I mean yesterday Zac was like “Why is Lynn with the freaks or is she secretly one too?” And I had to totally cover your ass. I mean I do it because I love you” She went on. I felt sad that she felt I needed saving from Zac’s opinons.

“What did you tell Zac?” I asked. She bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

“I kinda told him you’re being friends with them for a dare...” She said quietly. My eyes widened and my mouth hung open.

“What the fuck?! Why would you do that? I don’t understand why you’re such a bitch!” I stood up and paced around my bedroom.

“What’s the deal? It’s not like the friendships are gonna last. You’re not like them... You’re cool!” She fought back. I spun around and scowled at her.

“Actually the friendships are much more real than ours are anymore. You’re so selfish Taylor, it’s not your decision to tell lies about me or save my status. I don’t want to be popular or have your friends anymore. I like Vic, Jaime, Mike, Tony and Harley. At least they let me talk for myself” I huffed.

She looked at her feet, probably scared that I reacted this way. “I’m sorry... I won’t do it again” She mumbled.

“And what about Tony? I heard you’re really shitty to him” I threw at her. She looked up and I could see the regret on her face.

“I really don’t want to talk about that” She sighed. I shook my head.

“Nah, we’re talking about it Taylor.You made fun of him because his dad is dead?!?!?” I scareamed at her. She shook her head no.

“No, I made fun of him because he didn’t have a dad. Everyone told me his dad ditched his family... I didn’t know he was dead. I’m sorry” She looked sincere.

“I’m not the person you need to say sorry to” I said, sitting down next to her on my bed.

“I know... I’ll apologise to him okay” She said softly. I nodded in agreement.

“I think you should go, I’m meeting with Vic in an hour to do some homework” I told her.

“Oh, okay” She stood up and walked over to my door. “One day Lynn, you’ll understand why I protect you so much. They won’t be here forever” And with that she left. I’m thankful she did because I was about 20 seconds away from ripping her hair out of her head, and no matter how much she annoyed me in the past. She never once made me wanna get violent towards her.

I lay in my bed, thinking seriously about what my life was coming to. I only have 3 months of school left and I haven’t even told my parents that I’m not going to University. They’re really enthusiastic about me continuing with school but I don’t want to. I want to be a musician. I know it’s a really tough business but I’m determined and I know I’m good. My eyes fell heavy and I slipped into slumber...

----

“Lynn...” I heard my name being whispered. My eyes flew open and I frantically sat up in my bed, without looking I bumped heads with whoever was saying my name.

“Ouch!” I said loudly, unsure of how much it actually hurt or if it was just a reation.

“I could say the same” The voice laughed. I opened my eyes and noticed it was Vic. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused as to how he got into my room. “Well, you didn’t answer your phone so
I knocked on your door and your mom let me in” He explained. Thank God he didn’t just break into my house.

“Oh, sorry I fell asleep... I didn’t mean to ignore you” I laughed. I ran my hand through my hair, feeling slightly embarrassed that I had been woken up by Vic, I probably look a mess right now.

“It’s okay, so are you ready to study?” He asked me. I looked around for my History books. I climbed over my bed and got them from my bag.

“Yeah I’m ready” I laughed.

We studied for about an hour straight, making jokes and laughing about stupid stuff. Before I knew it, we had given up on History altogether. “So what’s the deal with your band?” Vic asked, sprawling out in my bed.

“What about it?” I wasn’t sure what he meant, like he wasn’t so specific.

“Like, when is your next gig? Can I come see you guys? What kinda music is it?” He rolled onto his stomach and placed his chin on the palms of his hands. It was kinda adorable.

“We have a gig next week... if you wanna come then you’re welcome. I was gonna invite you all but I wasn’t sure you’d all wanna come. We’re kinda like alternative” I explained. He nodded with a huge grin on his face.

“I think that sounds amazing” He smiled at me. He climbed up to the pillow I was lying on and laid on the opposite one, staring at my ceiling. A silence fell between us that felt sorta comforting. “Hey Lynn, sing me a song” He mumbled, staring blankly ahead.

I looked at him with a small feeling of fear. What if I’m shit? “Why?” I asked, nervously.

He slowly turned his head to look at me. “Why not? I’m your friend and a fellow musician... I wanna hear your songs” He smiled slowly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and got off my bed, walked over to my closet and got my guitar. I checked it was in tune and thankfully it was. I walked over to my bed again and sat down, crossing my legs over and placing the guitar across my body. I took a deep breath “You were spoiled rotten and turned stale like all your plans, my tongue's acquired tolerance for tastes I couldn't stand. You've been stuck in a rut and a wasteland, drowned in swamps below your feet” I sung softly. Vic sat up on my bed, staring at me intensely. “So just trust me, you'll be just fine, I need your trust just for tonight. This is not a place in my head, reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel. This is not just all in your head, mind over matter makes these things feel so real” I took another shaky breath as my fingers danced over the frets, strumming away softly. “I can see the doubt in your eyes, you say there's no such thing as better things in life. Well, I must confess this is all too new for me, a whole new world, a whole new world to see” I had to stop. Something wasn’t right. I pushed the guitar away from me.

“Hey what’s up? Why did you stop?” Vic asked frantically. I breathed out quickly and shook my head.

“I don’t know, I felt really weird there” I sighed, feeling nervous.

“Well, you’re amazing at singing and your guitar work is excellent. I’m impressed Gunn” He
smirked at me.

“Gunn?” I laughed, confused at the strange nickname.

“I have no idea how to say your second name so I just say Gunn in my head, plus Lynn Gunn is a badass name” He smiled smugly at me.

“Awe how cute, you can’t say my name” I teased. He rolled his eyes at me.

“Well, can you even say my second name?” He smirked at me.

“Yes I can Mr Fountains” I laughed. He cocked his head to the side.

“How’d you know that’s what my name means in Spanish?” He was shocked.

“Well, I actually pay attention in Spanish... plus Jaime told me” I laughed. He shook his head.

“Anything else Jaime decided to tell you?” He asked, a scared look on his face.

“Nah, well actually...” I giggled. “Victor Vincent Fuentes...” I burst out laughing, couldn’t contain it anymore.

“Vincent isn’t that bad a name” He argued. He had a small pout on, feeling sorry for himself.

“Okay, I’m sorry it’s totally normal” I smirked again.

I laid back down on my pillow again and so did Vic, on the other pillow. I assume he moved my guitar before hand because it wasn’t on my bed anymore. “So Gunn and Fountains... sounds like a shitty superhero duo” He laughed. I watched his eyes light up with every word that left his mouth.

“Your eyes are really pretty” I blurted out. My eyes widened in shock, his head turned around to look at me. “Wow, awkward” I started laughing awkwardly, pulling my pillow over my face.

The silence in my room was deafening. I truly had made it awkward. I peeked out from behind my pillow and he was still facing me. “Thanks” He said slowly. I felt sick, like I was going to throw up everywhere. The butterflies that lined my stomach were begging for an escape.

“Hi I’m Lynn, expert in awkward moments, what’s your name” I said making a goofy face at him.

His face broke out in a huge grin, making my tension fade away. At least it’s not as awkward anymore. “Hi, I’m Mr Fountains, expert in ignoring awkward moments” He smiled back at me.

“Thank you” I whispered. He nodded then sat up.

“I should go” He mumbled. I looked over at him and nodded.

“Yeah, maybe that would be best since I can’t stop tonight” I laughed. I got off my bed and he did the same. He walked around to the side I was on and smiled at me.

“For the record, your eyes are much prettier than mine” He said, staring into my eyes. I felt the blood drain from my face and my heart began pounding in my chest. I just stood there in shock as he stared at me. Unable to move at all.

“T-thanks” I stuttered. He smiled at me again. He stepped closer to me, I watched as he got closer and closer. I closed my eyes, unsure of what to do. But nothing happened. He hugged me and then left my room. I stood there bewildered. Was I expecting more? Did I want something more from him? I don’t know.

Notes