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A War in My Head

Watched You Waste Away

One thing I always told myself when I was younger was to never go to high school and hate everyone for no reason. I tried my hardest but most people around me avoided that advice. Sucks to be them then? I’m not one of those teenagers who live in a wallow of self pity, I try to stay positive because being negative about everything just drags you down more. I always try to avoid negative things. At school I hang out with what you would call “Popular Kids” but I don’t deem myself popular or anything like that. My best friend Taylor is one of those people you would hate, I only like her because I know deep down she’s a good person.

She’s likes to flirt with your boyfriend in front of you and makes you feel bad about confronting her. Her hair is always perfect and her make-up is 100% all the time. If I’m honest I don’t know why we’re best friends. We’re just very different. For a start she’s blonde, tall and super pretty. I’ve got long brown hair, kinda small and I’m not outstandingly pretty. She loves top 40 and I’m into pop punk. The differences don’t stop there. She is insanely rich and I’m from a working class family.

The only reason we even know each other is because our mom’s went to the same birthing group together, they started chatting about pregnancies and that’s about it really. We were born a month a part, making our parents always have joint birthday parties. As I grew up I thought once we got to high school she would realise how different we were and maybe the friendship wouldn’t last. But it didn’t happen. If anything it made her want to be closer friends with me.

And what I don’t get is that it bothers me. Like I’m sitting here, listening to her talking about boys and make-up, Justin Bieber and who won America’s Next Top Model but really I wish I was talking about something with a bit more of a structure, something more interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I like her a lot but she’s just so... fake at times. It’s like she needs me because as much as everyone is scared of her, she couldn’t handle it all alone.

While I sat on the bleachers, watching her tell her cheer-leading squad what to do I write in my lyric journal. My band had a gig in less than a week and I was feeling apprehensive about one of our songs. It didn’t feel right. It needed tweaking, lyric wise anyway. The music sounded beautiful.

“What are you doing loser?” I looked up to see Taylor standing on the bleacher below me, pom-poms at her hips and smirking at me.

“Just writing for the band” I smile at her, knowing that it made no difference what I said. She didn’t care much for my band. But she does pretend like she cares, which is sweet of her.

“Oh” She sounded disappointed, throwing the pom-poms down and sat next to me. “Are you nervous?” She grinned up at me.

“Not really, but I will be when the day comes” I laughed, lying to myself and Taylor. She shrugged and laid her head on my shoulder.

“Are you coming to the game tonight?” She asked, putting on a baby voice. I bit my tongue, scared of the argument that would come next.

“I can’t, band practice” I mumbled. She looked at me and sighed.

“Lynn, I’m going to your band’s show next week and you can’t make the game tonight. I’ve worked really hard on the routine” She huffed.

“I’m sorry” I said as apologetically as I could. She nodded and dropped it thankfully.

“Hey what’s the song like?” She said, grabbing my journal off my lap and began reading the lyrics out loud. “I know it’s chemicals that make me cling to you, cling to you. And I need a miracle to get away from you” She read aloud.

“Hey don’t” I begged.

“I know it’s chemicals, and I need a miracle, and I’m not spiritual but please stay” She continued. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the book off her.

“Do you have a crush on someone?” She taunted.

“No Taylor, if I did then you would know wouldn’t you” I sighed. She nodded in agreement.

“Yeah you’re right, I can’t let you go and date an ugly dude now can I?” She laughed. I cocked my head to the side.

“The last two guys you dated weren’t exactly hunks of the year” I shot back. She pretended to be hurt then we both laughed.

“True, I can’t talk but only the best for my little Lynny” She put her arm around me and kissed my forehead.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re gay for me” I joke, she laughs along and grins at me.
“No way, I like dick too much” She said as she playfully pushed me away. “But Lynn you need to stop shaving those two slits in your eyebrow. It’s not attractive and I’m pretty sure guys won’t like it” She said in a bitchy tone. “Anyway, I gotta get back to practice babe, I’ll speak to you later” She stood up walked to the stairway, where she skipped down the stairs. Her short cheer-leading skirt slipping up so you could see her butt, with her jump she made. I facepalmed and wondered why I’m still here.

I was about to start writing again when I heard a voice speak up from behind me. “You aren’t seriously friends with her are you?” I turned my head to see who said it and noticed a boy from my year sitting five benches back from me. I raised an eyebrow.

“Why?” I laughed nervously, no one has ever actually asked me that kinda thing before. I guess it looks just as odd to people outside of the friendship as it does to me who is in the friendship.

“She’s horrible to you” He frowns, his chocolate brown eyes resembling a sad puppy.

“We’ve been friends for so long. She’s nice really” I tried to defend her, knowing full well he wasn’t going to buy it.

“I don’t know, it looks as though she uses you because in reality she knows that no one really likes her” He shrugged. I bit my lip, thinking about what he said. He stood up and climbed down the bleachers and sat next to me.

“I like her” I mumbled. He just broke out in a huge grin.

“I don’t think you do though” I watched his smile, he had a lovely smile actually.

“Who even are you?” I questioned him. He let out a short laugh.

“I knew you wouldn’t know who I am” He shook his head and looked out into the field. “My name is Vic” He mumbled.

“Nice to meet you Vic, sorry I didn’t know who you are. We aren’t in any classes together and being friends with Taylor consumes a lot of time. The only thing I get to do on my own is my band and even then I get so much criticism for it. It never ends” I sigh, knowing that I shouldn’t vent to him but he started it.

“Well, your lyrics sounded good I’ll give you that” He smiled at me. It made me smile, it was so infectious.

“Thank you, it was finished but of course Taylor doesn’t know what boundaries are. I’m sorry you have to live in the same world as her” I joked. I hope he sees the funny side in it all.

“So what is your band named?” He looked genuinely interested.

“Paris but instead of an A it’s a V” I explained. He raised an eyebrow.

“That’s different” He grinned. “I like it. Why Paris?” He questioned.

“Why not? It’s different I guess” I shrugged. He nodded in understanding.

“Definitely, it’s unique” I looked at Taylor on the field. She was being her usual bitchy self. She suddenly turned and looked at me, her face was mortified. She began shaking her head and nodding towards Vic. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“She’s so difficult at times” I groaned.

“Well, why don’t you get away from here. Why don’t you come for a walk with me?” He suggested. I stuffed my journal into my backpack and shoved it on my back.

“Where to?” I stood up quickly. He looked up at me and laughed, obviously amused at my eagerness to get away from Taylor.

“My friends are sitting over at the trees over there, we could go say hi to them?” He suggested. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

“If your friends are over there, then why were you sitting over here?” I asked him. He just chuckled lightly and began walking towards the stairs. I followed him quickly, now very curious. “No seriously” I called after him.

Once we were at the bottom of the stairs we began walking towards the trees. “Well, we’ve noticed for days now you sit here all alone. Looking bored, sad and kinda lonely while Taylor bosses people around and calls it cheer-leading. So I decided today I would come over and strike up a conversation with you, try and see if you were one for saving or too far gone” He said as he grinned at his feet, kicking the dirt as we walked.

“And what do you think I am?” I asked curiously.
He looked up for a brief second. “You’ve been saved haven’t you?” He said it as if it were so obvious an answer. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re so sure about that?” I was beginning to dislike his cockiness.

“I’ve never seen someone shove a book in their bag quicker than you did. You’re screaming for some rescuing from that demon. Don’t have to admit it but we all saw it” He shrugged, making it all sound so casual. I shift my bag to the other shoulder.

“Whatever. I don’t need saving, jeez you didn’t need to be sound rude about it” I stopped and turned to go back where I was.

He grabbed my arm gently and turned me back. “Look I’m not trying to sound horrible to you. Honestly I just didn’t like seeing you sit alone, with someone who is obviously not interested in what you’ve got to say. When there is four people over there and myself who would love to hear what you’ve got to say on the current weather or what the best Green Day record is. That is why I did it. You deserve better than getting ignored and made to feel bad about yourself. She ripped you for the cuts in your eyebrow and told you ‘men don’t like it’ when that is an absolutely horrible way to speak to someone. It’s like she’s trying to fill your head with her own opinions and honestly they’re horrible opinions if she thinks that girls should do or wear something for guys to impress them. It’s just sad, and I don’t really like the idea that she could fill your head with that shit. What if you were the kinda person who genuinely bought that and felt horrible about yourself? I would hate to see something like that happen” He ranted, it was kinda nice to hear someone who didn’t even know me care. It was kinda sweet actually.

“That is the nicest thing a stranger has ever said to me y’know” I laughed nervously. His face softened and he nodded.

“It’s true though, I think you should re-consider your current friendship choices” He said softly.

“What is that an offer?” I smirked at him. He let my arm go and wiped his hand on his black skinny jeans.

“Hi, my name’s Vic. I’m a senior and I’m probably the biggest nerd you’ll meet. Except my friend Tony, he’s definitely much nerdy. I would love for you to be my friend” He said, holding his hand out for me to shake. I eyed it closely and giggled at how dorky he was acting.

“I’m Lynn and I’m probably the most lame person you’ll ever meet. Except my friend Taylor over there, she’s probably much more lame than me but the difference is that she puts on a fake façade to act like she’s so big and powerful. Kick her down and she’s nothing. I would love to be your friend Vic” I said, grabbing his hand and shaking it hard.

His smile grew even wider, showing off his beautiful white teeth. “Come, meet my family” He said, moving his hand towards the group of friends sitting under a nearby tree.

We approached three guys and a girl sitting under the tree. They all had smiles on their face as I walked up. “Hi” I waved awkwardly at them. They laughed and giggled at how stupid I was being, I felt like I was acting like a child actually. “I’m Lynn, I know this is terribly awkward now because that’s exactly how I make things” I laughed awkwardly and sat down on the grass next to Vic.

“This is Tony, Jaime, Harley and my brother Mike” Vic pointed everyone out.

“Don’t worry, you’re not half as awkward as Tony is” Harley laughed, nudging Tony in the ribs.

I recognised Tony from my Music class and Jaime from my Spanish class. “You guys are in two classes of mines” I laughed.

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at guitar” Tony spoke softly. I blushed a little, I loved playing my guitar.

“And you’re kinda awful at Spanish” Jaime laughed, which made me laugh because it’s so true.

“I know, I’m so bad at it but I refuse to give up” I acted cool about it.

“Well, if you ever need any help then give me a shout. I speak it fluently” He explained. Wow, that’s so kind of him.

“Thank you” I smiled at him. “This is gonna sound so weird but why are you guys being so nice to me? I’ve never given any of you one bit of notice” I felt awful thinking about it. I have never really given anyone huge notice. Unless they’re super popular I kinda didn’t have the time to know them.

“You look like you belong with us, but you’re still with the jocks and cheerleaders? I’m not one to judge but you do look like miserable and we’ve always got a welcoming place for someone who wants it” Harley grinned at me. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Honestly thank yo-” I was cut off by Taylor calling me.

“Lynn!” She screeched. I turned my body to look back at her standing about twenty metres away.

“Sorry” I mumbled to the group. Taylor marched over to us, with her hands on her hips and an anger ridden face.

“Lynn, what the Hell are you doing sitting with these losers?” She looked down at them furiously. I sighed loudly.

“They’re actually not losers if you got to know them” I looked up at her. She just huffed at me.

“Well, I need your help with something anyway so” She looked down at the group and spoke as if they were children. “Lynn has to go now but she had a nice time with you all” I was shocked at the way Taylor was speaking to them.

I looked away embarrassed. “Sorry” I said to them all.

“Come on Lynn” She ordered as she marched off across the field again.

I stupidly got up. “I’m really sorry” I said shaking my head, walking backwards as I followed after Taylor. My dignity was taken from me that day, it was horrible.

Notes

Just started this new story, let me know what you think and if I should continue etc

Comments

Sequel! You make my heart hurt!



please write a sequel I'm begging

xonsd xonsd
4/25/15

Sequel!

kelseyyy_lee kelseyyy_lee
4/25/15

Goddamn that was a good story

freedom_writer freedom_writer
4/25/15

@Candy_Monster

;)

Colourfultears Colourfultears
4/25/15