I'm Coming Home

I looked at the mirror taking in my reflection. I had several bruises on various parts of my body. My skinny, pale, underweight body. I moved my gaze up to my face and looked at my dull eyes and dark circles that surrounded them.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t go another day fearing for my life. I can’t keep lying to my friends and family, pretending that I’m happy. I need to leave. I just needed tonight to go as planned.

“Alex, where are you?” Josh said bringing me out of my thoughts. I quickly unlocked the bathroom door and walked out to face the monster himself.

“I was washing my face, I’m sorry.” I whispered making sure to not make eye contact.

“It’s alright. Will you go get me a bottle of water?” He said and sat down on the couch. I nodded and did as told, to avoid any damage being made tonight.

“Thank you.” He smiled. He’s never been this nice, not since we first moved in together.

“Do you want something to eat?” I asked he nodded and I walked back to the kitchen getting out all the ingredients and supplies. I was surprised when I saw Josh come into the kitchen and stand behind me. He had never came in the kitchen when I was cooking. What is going on with him?

He wrapped his arms around my waist and lent down to kiss the top of my head, before turning on some music.

“Alexis, dance with me?” He asked holding out his hand for me. I smiled and took his hand. I don’t know what had came over him, but he was acting like his old self, the person I had fallen so deeply in love with.

It took us a while, but we finally finished making dinner and were in a comfortable conversation. This was so odd, but so nice to finally be able to be around him and not be afraid of him. Even though he was acting nicer, I knew that it wouldn’t last. But since it was going to be the last day I’m with him, I’m not going to question it.

That night after Josh finally fell asleep I slowly got up and grabbed my bags that I had previously packed. I was so close to the bedroom door when I heard a sigh.

“You’re really leaving, huh?”

I quickly turned around to see Josh sitting up in bed looking straight at me.

“Even after today, after I spent all night trying to show you that I was still the same guy you fell for almost 3 years ago.” He stood up and walked over to me. “Why?”

“I can’t keep living like this Josh.” I said as tears ran down my face. “You’ve completely controlled my life for over 2 years. I haven’t talked to or seen my family or friends in years because of you.” I said taking a few steps back.

“It’s because I love you” He said grabbing my arm. “Why don’t you get that?”

“No, Josh. You don’t love me.” That earned me a slap to the face, and caused me fall to the ground.

“You don’t hurt the ones you love. You don’t push them so far that they don’t want to live anymore..” I cried. “I loved you so much, but I can’t keep living like this. I miss my family. I miss my old life.”

“A-Alexis, I’m so sorry.” He said looking at and finally noticed the effect that all of his actions had had on me.

“Please just let me go, Josh.” I said standing up. After what seemed like forever, he nodded and picked up my bags, leading me to my car. He put all my stuff in my car and then came to stand in front of me.

“Alexis, I really do love you, but I’m letting you go, because I don’t want to keep hurting you.” He said handing me my keys and phone.

“I love you too, Josh.” I whispered opening my door.

“Can I have one last kiss?” He asked me. I looked at him before walking over to him and we shared a short kiss. Then I got in my car and drove away.

Once in San Diego, I pulled over at a gas station and dug my phone out, and called the person I needed the most.

The phone rang a few times, and then I heard the voice I missed the most.

"Alexis?"

Notes