The Only Medicine

Long after Vic falls asleep, I lay awake, waiting. I must have fallen asleep, as the sound of someone slamming the front door jolts me awake. I sneak a quick glance down at Vic, making sure he’s still asleep, then gently drag my arm out from under him and tiptoe to the door. Mike is slowly opening his door when I get into the hallway, but he doesn’t notice me. I wait for him to go into his room and shut the door, just so I don’t frighten him, then go up and tap on it.

“Mike,” I whisper through the door.

It clicks open, then Mike pokes his face through. “Oh, hey.”

“Can I come in?”

He closes the door behind me and I sit down on the end of his bed. It reeks of cigarette smoke and weed and beer in here. There’s also a large, dark stain on the front of his shirt.

He catches me looking. “Sorry, someone threw a cup at me,” he says, pulling the shirt over his head.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Guess who was there?”

I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, she wasn’t happy to see me. Luckily she didn’t turn up until just before I left.” He shakes his head. “Actually, she was kind of the reason why I left.”

“Right.”

“So, uh, what’s up?” he asks, kicking the shirt into the corner I presume is the ‘dirty laundry’ corner.

I bite my lip, unsure how to proceed. I was convinced that I was going to come in here and explain my feelings to Mike, break up with him somehow. Not that we’re really together anyway. While he was gone, it was so easy to assure myself that Vic’s happiness was more important than whatever love or lust lay between Mike and me. Now … well.

His eyes narrow. “Are you okay?”

“I, uh … I don’t know. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

He just continues staring, waiting for me to continue. When I don’t, he walks over to his set of drawers and starts putting his lighter and weed back into its hiding place.

“I figured you’d come in here when I got back, but, I dunno. I thought you’d be horny or something,” he snickers.

I take a deep breath. “Vic’s really messed up. I just … I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

He rolls his eyes and turns his back on me. “Yeah, well, what about my feelings?”

“Huh?”

“You know. You’re too busy worrying about Vic.”

I don’t know what to say to that. “I guess I just thought … I’d have to choose between hurting you or hurting him.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “So you thought hurting me was better?”

I flinch. “I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

Finally he faces me again. “You don’t have to protect him, you know? He’s a grown ass man. He got over Cara before and he’ll get over her again. He can clearly handle his best friend being in a relationship.”

“He’s been cutting again, okay?”

Mike blanches. “What did you say?”

I just shake my head. He drops down on the bed next to me.

“Hey, that’s not your fault, okay?” He pulls me to him. “Jesus, Vic,” he mutters to himself.

“Did you know about the first time?” I ask.

“Yeah, well, I guessed. He never told me himself.”

“I just feel so guilty, Mike.”

“It’s not your fault,” he repeats. He takes a breath. “Look, we just won’t tell him, okay?” My eyes flick up sharply. “At least, not for a while. Not until he’s better.”

I don’t give the words a chance to sink in, I just turn and plant a soft kiss on his lips. After all this, I just need to not think about anything. Maybe that’s the real reason I came in here in the first place. He cups the back of my head and kisses me back, gently at first and then hungrily. He tastes faintly of cigarette smoke.

I pull back slightly and look up at him. “I just need you to fuck me, okay?”

He groans and captures my mouth in a kiss again, tugging frantically at my shirt. I help him lift it over my head, then fumble with the button of his jeans. He stands up and takes over and I shimmy out of my shorts, then rip a hole in the side of my tights with my thumb in my effort to peel them off.

“It doesn’t matter,” I breathe, whether to him or myself, I don’t know, and he pushes me back on the bed and starts kissing down my throat. His stubble rasps against the delicate skin, but I don’t care.

One of his hands fists in my hair and the other slips over the soft skin of my stomach, travelling lower, lower, underneath my cotton panties. His fingers bump against my VCH piercing, making me jump.

“Oh shit,” he gasps against my throat. “I forgot about all these.”

“Just be gentle,” I moan.

He places his fingers either side of the jewellery and starts making slow circles. It near sends me through the roof. I grind my hips in time to the motion, trying not to gasp or make too much noise. He continues sucking and biting at my neck, until I can barely take anymore.

“I want you,” I groan.

He lifts his face from my throat to gaze directly into my eyes, but keeps making those circles with his fingers, and I moan softly, feeling my orgasm grow closer with every movement.

I’ve barely whispered, “I’m gonna come,” when he slips his hand back out of my underwear, leaving me hot and flustered and very much unfulfilled. I stare at him incredulously as he gets to his feet.

“What are you doing?” I ask hoarsely.

“Getting a condom,” he murmurs, bending over and digging through the drawer of his nightstand.

I adjust myself on the bed while he rolls the condom on, reaching up behind my back with one arm to unclip my bra. He comes back onto the bed just as I’m sliding my panties down my legs.

“Is everything okay down there?” he whispers. I realise after a second that he’s talking about my period.

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine,” I reply, tossing my underwear onto the floor.

He gives me a smirk as he positions himself between my legs. “I forgot that you have all these piercings,” he says with a little laugh.

I let out a little gasp as he eases himself into me.

“You okay?”

I nod, running one of my hands down his warm back and giving his ass a squeeze. “Yeah, I’m just really close.”

He kisses my throat again, then my jaw, then finally my mouth. Oh, god, I don’t know how long I can last like this. Every gentle thrust of his hips sends me closer and closer to the edge, like a wave about to crest.

“Do you want it rough or nice and slow?” he whispers against my ear, pulling out slightly.

“Rough,” I groan, and he immediately pushes me flat against the bed with one hand on my chest.

Three quick thrusts and I’m coming hard around him, matching every movement of his hips with my own. I open my mouth to moan and he covers it with his hand.

“Shh, you little slut,” he coos. It only makes me come harder. Once he feels my orgasm finish, he removes his hand from my mouth and grins down at me. “’Atta girl.”

I bite my lip at him and he leans down and kisses me furiously, one hand on my shoulder and the other pushing one of my legs up and to the side, allowing him to drive deeper. I moan around his kisses, grabbing at him with my hands, feeling my orgasm grow closer again. He feels it too and he looks down at me, his eyes burning with desire. I can see he’s close, too.

“What do you want?” he murmurs.

“Choke me,” I gasp.

He slips his hand from my shoulder to my throat and grips it softly, squeezing gently, and that’s all it takes to send me over the edge again, groaning and gasping, and then he moans my name and we’re coming together. He pumps a couple more times and then buries his face into my hair.

The night is silent except for our ragged breaths. After a moment he braces himself on the pillow behind me and slips out of me gently.

“Back in a sec,” he gasps.

I watch him grab a towel from the floor and wrap it around himself and then step out into the hallway. I lay flat on the bed, still trying to catch my breath, then sit up, looking for my underwear; I have to pee really badly. Mike comes back into the room while I’m wiggling back into my underwear.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I just have to pee.” I look around on the floor for my shirt and find it halfway across the room.

The air in the hallway is a lot cooler than Mike’s room. I tiptoe quickly to the bathroom and take care of things, then splash some water onto my face. When I get back to the room, Mike is in bed, the blankets bundled around his ankles. He just watches me as I collect the rest of my clothes.

“I take it you’re going back to Vic’s room?” He can barely mask the bitterness in his voice.

“I have to,” I murmur. I pause by the door. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“It is the morning.”

Sure enough, it’s almost four o’clock. My body barely feels tired; I don’t know if I can get to sleep after all this.

“Wait,” Mike says just as I reach for the door handle. He sits up and grabs my arm and pulls me back onto the bed with him, then kisses me softly. It’s over far too soon.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I repeat, then drag myself away.

Notes