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An Alternate Ending

Yeah Just Drop Dead

It’s times like this where I wonder if maybe I should’ve stayed in Australia, my heart is shattered and everyone just seems to think it’s my own fault. No one is angry with me for what I did to Oli, just confused. I guess none of them see it from my point of view, which is a shame because they’re being extremely selfish. I said no for his own good, he has no idea what he’s doing. I think Oli just needs time to be on his own for once, instead of jumping from one woman to another, he needs to just have some time to himself. And I thought by telling him no he would do that, but I was wrong.

Bring Me the Horizon decided to do a small American tour over the span of about 6 weeks. Since I was jobless and poor Matt is making me go on the tour and do photography and merch for them. I’m not surprised that he’s making me do it. I do get paid which is good, because I need money. I’m close to being broke and job hunting hasn’t been hugely successful to me.

Today is the first date of the tour, I know most people expected me to shit myself again and move to Japan or something but
here I am, first date in Florida. A strangely long month has passed since the whole proposal incident and not a word has been said to me. Yes that includes an 8 hour flight of silence. It doesn’t shock me but it upsets me. And from what I’ve been hearing, Oli has moved on. Many times.

I sat on the bench outside the parked up bus. The day had just begun and the guys were playing the first show since Wembley. It’s odd to think how amazingly big they were, how much they meant to so many people. I heard some chatting and turned my head to look behind me. “I can’t be arsed with her okay” I heard Oli say. He was talking to Lee with his back to me. Lee looked over at me and then Oli turned his head, our eyes met for a mere second and I could tell he felt a bit guilty. I just turned my head back and stood up.

I walked past him to go on the bus. “Don’t worry, I can’t be arsed with you either” I spat at him then walked onto the bus. My head was filled with his bullshit, and nothing could make this trip any easier. He just needed to stay away from me or I would seriously kill him.

My bunk was across from Oli’s, hopefully he wouldn’t even think of coming near me when I was in my bunk, he knew better than that. “Casey, you alright?” I heard my brother ask. I turned to him and nodded.

“Peachy” I shrugged. He just looked away and sighed. I knew he knew that Oli had upset me.

“Just tell him to fuck off” Matt said walking past me off the bus.

I wish it were that easy. Lee and Oli walked onto the bus and Oli mumbled, “Sorry” And the walked to the bunk area. I looked at Lee and raised my eyebrows.

“Your brother is scary at times” Was all Lee said then walked off the bus. I followed him and looked around. “The support act is here” He announced.

“Who is it?” I asked, I have been told but I forgot their name.

“They’re called Pvris” He told me. I nodded and remembered having a look at them. Their bus pulled up infront of us and a girl, around 20 came bounding out. She had long brown hair with an undercut. She was quite small and slender, very pretty. A pang of jealously shot through me. She was gorgeous. I suddenly felt really insecure about all of my tattoos and pale skin.

She walked over to us and smiled from ear to ear. “Hi, I’m Lynn” She held her hand out to shake mines. I took it and shook it.

“I’m Casey” I said softly.

“I’m excited to start this tour, it’s been a dream of mines to tour with you guys” She said to Lee. He laughed and nodded.

“Well, dreams can come true right” He laughed. I smiled softly.

Lynn looked behind me and her eyes lit up. “Hi” She said happily. I looked behind me and Oli was walking off the bus. He walked over to us and stood next to me.

“Hi I’m Oli” He held his hand out to her and she shook it, a little too long for my liking.

“I’m Lynn” She smiled so brightly, I couldn’t help but feel completely insignificant next to her.

“Wanna come hang out?” Oli asked. Lynn nodded and they went onto the bus.

What I’m guessing to be the two other members of Pvris came off the bus and introduced themselves. Brian and Alex. They seemed like really nice guys, I just couldn’t help but wonder what Oli and Lynn were up to on the bus. The jealousy was eating me alive. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t thrown Oli away.

We all decided to go onto the bus, hoping to ease my wondering but of course it just made things so much worse. They were sat on the couch chatting away. No matter how friendly it is, you will always over dramatise things like that because that’s what jealously does to a person. I sat down with Lee and Alex on either side of me. Brian sat next to Oli. I looked at Lee and sighed. “I was just telling Lynn that we’re going out tomorrow night” Oli told us.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see what you guys are like drunk. The British can certainly drink better than us” She laughed. Oli laughed a little too much at it, he’s deliberately over flirting with her. Arsehole.

“Well you can finally drink now” Alex laughed.

“Yeah, finally I’m legally allowed to drink” She noddeed.

“So you’re only just 21?” I asked.

“Yeah turned 21 last week” She smiled at me.

“We’ll need to celebrate then” I grinned at her.

“I’m glad there’s another female on this tour because I’m used to males all the time and they get really annoying. Female company will be great” She sounded genuine about it. The thing with this girl is that I want to like her but she better not go near Oli.

----

I watched from the side of the stage, my brother always amazed me. The music he makes and plays just makes me so proud of him. My camera was in my hand and I was waiting to do a few crowd shots. Lynn came up and stood next to me. She smiled happily as she watched the guys jump around and go crazy on stage. “They’re so talented” She shouted over the music.

“Yeah, I really love them” I nodded. She just sung along and I went behind Matt’s drum kit and took a few shots, he looked up at me and smiled. I took a couple of him and out into the crowd.

After the set finished the guys came off the stage, sweaty and tired. I took a few backstage pictures and then went back to the bus, hoping to get into my bunk before Oli came back and we had an awkward encounter.

I got into my bunk and began editing my photos because after all it was why I was here. Other than taking care of some merch anyway. I had my bunk curtain open slightly and heard everyone finally get into their bunk, except Oli. “Where’s Oli?” I heard Matt ask my brother.

“I seen him like ten minutes ago” I heard my brother reply.

“I seen him with that chick Alesha that he always meets up with here” Lee pitched in.

“Well he’s single now, doesn’t shock me that he’d meet up with her for more than just a chat” Nicholls said quietly, as if trying to avoid me hearing him. I heard Lee climb into the bunk above me.

“Oh well, he better hurry because we have to leave in ten minutes” I heard my brother sigh. He climbed into his bunk and then I could hear the bus door open and then shut.

The faint sound of a girl giggling made my stomach turn. “Shhh Oli” I heard the voice say. The bunk area door opened slowly, I looked out of the small crack in my curtain and seen Oli standing with a blonde girl and kissing her hard. I shut my eyes and moved away from the crack and and fumbled around for my earphones. I shoved them into my phone and turned music on. I didn’t care what, anything to drown the sound out. I slowly fell asleep, tears streaming down my face and my heart breaking.

----

I woke up with my phone blaring Fall Out Boy. I have no idea why I didn’t wake up earlier and turn it off, it was so loud. I also don’t know why no one killed me in my sleep for how loud my music was. The curtain of my bunk was open more than I last left it, so I guess someone was checking in on me. I got out of my bunk and went into the kitchen area to get some coffee.

I sat down in the booth with my coffee and Matt came in and sat next to me. “You okay?” He asked. I looked at him and smiled weakly. “I know it’s hard but you’ll get over him soon” He tried to console me.

“Honestly, him acting like this is making me see why I should dislike him” I smiled, trying to act like my heart was breaking into a million pieces.

“As long as you’re okay” He said with a small smile.

The door opened and the blonde girl from last night and Oli came into the kitchen. “I want some Coffee” She said pouting to Oli like a child.

“I’ll get you some babe” He said winking at her. I just rolled my eyes and this blonde girl slid into the booth across from me.
“Hi, I’m Alesha” She smiled widely.

“Casey” I smiled fakely at her.

“How are you this morning?” She asked.

“Tired, couldn’t sleep well last night” I sighed. She nodded and looked a little concerned.

“Oh sorry, we were probably a bit noisy last night. I apologise” She giggled and looked at Oli, who just looked away.

“I had music on so don’t worry, you didn’t keep me up” I explained.

“No offence but why is she here?” Matt blurted out to Oli.

He looked around and then looked at Alesha. “She needed a lift to Ocala so I said she could hope on with us for the night” He shrugged as if it was the most common thing in the world.

“Right, maybe swing it by us first next time” Matt said coldly. “No offence love but we don’t have space or time to waste on random hook ups” Matt stared her down.

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. “Oi mate, watch it” Oli said to my brother.

“Nah, you watch it” Matt said standing up.

“Why do I need to watch it?” Oli laughed. “I haven’t done jack shit!” Oli was getting annoyed now.

“Yeah bringing some random bird on the bus and banging her a mere metre away from my sister is jack shit yeah?” Matt was going to lose it.

“Excuse you” Alesha butted in, shocked.

“I think you’ll find it was your sister who ended it with me, she just needs to grow up if she’s not happy with me moving on” Oli sounded so harsh.

“I’m Right here” I threw in. Oli looked at me and shrugged.

“Don’t act like it” He said looking at the floor.

“What do you expect? You’ve acted so cold towards me for the past month” I shook my head.

“You rejected me love, I’m not gonna hang on forever. If you don’t want me I’m pretty sure there’s other girls out there who want me and now I’m exploring my options” He smirked at me.

“It’s funny how within a month someone can go from love to hate, arsehole” I mumbled as I walked out.

I can’t believe the nerve of him. He has no right to treat me like that. No right at all. I did the right thing, I wanted to give him space to chose me on his own but he’s too damn selfish to see that and it utterly breaks my heart. “Casey don’t just walk away” Oli followed me out into the livingroom.

“What?” I spat, turning around. I looked at him with disgust.

“You can’t just say you hate me like that?” He looked kinda devastated.

“Wouldn’t you hate me if I did all this to you?” I asked, he looked at his feet and shrugged.

“I don’t know” He mumbled.

“Yeah, you would. All I wanted was to give you space, to give you the chance to choose me on your own. Not a rebound from your sham relationship with Amanda. You couldn’t even give me that Oli, that’s why I hate you. I HATE YOU!!!” I screamed at him.

He looked at me with hurt in his eyes. “I’m sorry” He whispered, I could see the tears begin to well in his eyes.

“Yeah, well go fuck yourself, or your whores I don’t care anymore. Just stop being a dick to everyone and grow the fuck up. Trying to hurt me like this to get one up on my will not work at all and you’ve ruined pretty much everything that we had. When we go back to Sheffield, never fucking talk to me again you self centred, prick” I pushed past him and climbed into my bunk, and cried my fucking eyes out.

----

I stood side stage after taking my pictures of Pvris, earlier that day I bumped into Lynn and she could sense something was up. So I told her about me and Oli. She wasn’t shocked to hear about us having a rough time together, she said she could sense we had a shaky past. She told me she was gonna do something about it, so hopefully Oli would come to the stage while Pvris played.

I watched them play St. Patrick. I listened to their album all day, it was amazing. I’m really sad I didn’t check them out before because they are one talented band. Lee and Jordan were standing with me as I watched the energetic band play their set. Oli walked over and stood beside Lee.

“They’re really good aren’t they?” Lee shouted to me.

“Yeah, I like them a lot actually. I’m glad you guys brought them on this tour” I nodded, singing along to the lyrics.

“They’re different but it works” Jordan smiled.

“Definitely” I bobbed my head along.

The song ended and Lynn grabbed onto the mic. “So I wanna chat to you guys for a bit, sometimes there is just some people in the world who are made of venom, everything they do is just pure dirt. They can’t help themselves. On this tour I’ve became friends with someone who is extremely talented, if you see her in the pits taking pictures tonight say hi, her name is Casey. She is amazing and I’ve only really gotten to know her today but sometimes you just click with people” Lynn was actually so nice. “Anyway she just got out of a shitty relationship and this song really makes me think of her and the situation. I dedicate this to your ex Case. Yeah just drop dead” She said looking over and winking at me. “This ones called Fire” She began singing.

“Don't blame your death on the shit in your head that you claimed ate you like a virus for days on end. I watched you decay,watched you waste away. Who'd you think you'd fool, baby, digging your own grave? So go ahead, yeah just drop dead, and while you're trying to fool the whole world don't forget that you'll decay and you'll waste away. You can't cheat death when you're digging your own grave.” Lynn’s voice was on fire. No punn intended. I looked at Oli’s face and he looked furious.

“You're out of line, buried yourself and expected to be fine. You can't rewind, when you're choking on your own dirt begging for your life. Your bridges are burning and all the tables are turning. You started a fire and you're burning up. What you give is what you get. And in your case, that's nothing but guilt and regret. And all the flames you kept in your brain came out your lips and sent you straight into your own grave. You were a walking, talking, corpse at best. And I swear, I couldn't wait to get you off my chest, And when you asked us why we couldn't look you in your eyes, It's hard to find life in something that's already died. (ugh)” I couldn’t believe how powerful the lyrics were coming out of her tonight. I watched this song last night and it wasn’t nearly half as energetic.

“You're out of line, buried yourself and expected to be fine. You can't rewind, when you're choking on your own dirt begging for your life. Your bridges are burning and all the tables are turning. You started a fire and you're burning up.” I looked at Oli who was staring at me. I just smirked at him. It’s not like anyone in the crowd would piece it together, as none of them knew I was dating Oli for that short period of time.

“You started a fire.” Lynn sung out until the song ended. The cheer from the crowd roared and I could tell from Lynn’s face that she wasn’t expecting it. I’m glad my story gave her some motivation on stage tonight, they were insane.

Notes

Comments

I. LIKE. IT. I. WANNA. RREEEADDDD IT

Please update. I've been hooked on these stories and starting to read them a second time

@Janelle


It's slowly becoming mines too, thanks for reading and commenting

This story is life

@Madness


Thank you!