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An Alternate Ending

Kiss and Tell

Waking up the morning after you realise you’ve done something completely and utterly wrong is one of the worst feelings that anyone could ever feel. I on the other hand, don’t feel a thing. And that’s what’s wrong with me as a person. I should feel remorse, or even just guilty that I slept with another woman’s man, but I don’t. In my stupid head, he should be mine and that seems okay enough for me. What I don’t get is where do we go now?

I lay in my bed, tossing and turning. He left an hour ago. Not a word was said, it was basically like nothing even happened and that’s what kills me. He realises what we did, and now he feels the guilt and wants out. I just want him back. If I want him then I need to do a lot more than sleep with him, I need to make him fall completely and utterly in love with me all over again. And I know I’m stupid, I had a great chance and told him to just be with Amanda and now I’m being selfish, but somethings in life are worth being selfish for. And believe me, Oli Sykes is worth everything.

At this moment, I had to get out of this apartment. It’s funny because my money is going to run out at the end of March and I need to get a job in order to continue living here; but somehow I just don’t have the motivation to do so. I was once so passionate about photography and now I can’t even look at my camera without feeling sick. But I can’t do that anymore.
I got out of bed and got showered and dressed, light skinny jeans and an old band shirt was the attire for the day. Mostly because I just couldn’t be arsed finding better clothes to wear at this given moment. I hesitantly grabbed my camera and the bag, but first I had to to look at the pictures Oli took of me. I turned the camera on and clicked onto gallery, going through them slowly. Oli somehow caught a side of me that I never quite knew I had, which is scary.

I put the camera away into my camera bag and ventured outside. I got in my car and decided there was one person I could talk to about all this, Jordan. So off I drove to Jordan and Emma’s house. I haven’t really spent that much time with Emma but she was lovely, a great friend in the making. Jordan was always talking about her and you can just tell his love for her is pure, beautiful.

As I stood in front of Jordan’s door a small feeling of sickness washed over me. The idea of even telling anyone could be an awful mistake, but I couldn’t exactly tell my brother now could I? And Lee and Matt aren’t exactly greatly reliable for good advice. They’d probably high five Oli or something and let slip that they knew. So the courage to knock on the door finally pulled my hand up, and gently knock.

The door flew open a few minutes later and a surprised looking Jordan stood behind it. “Oh, hi Casey. What are you doing here? Not that you’re not welcome” He laughed. It’s cute how much of a dork he is sometimes.

“Are you busy right now?” I asked, feeling a bit stupid all of a sudden.

“Nah, Emma is out shopping and I was just working on some new songs. How come?” He opened the door wider and I slipped in.

“I need some help and advice on something” I said as I walked into the living room and sat down.

“Okay what’s up?” He sat down on the sofa on the other side of the room.

“Well, I need some inspiration for taking pictures, and something big happened last night so I kinda need to like speak about it so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and come see you” I explained. He nodded slowly.

“I got just the place” He smiled and stood up, walking out into the hallway. He came back in with a coat on and smiled to ,me. “Well come on then” He laughed. I stood up and we left his house, we walked over to my car and I went to get in. “Nah we don’t need to drive anywhere” He told me.

“Oh, well I need to get my camera anyway” I said, opening boot and getting it out. I walked back over to him and he led me down towards what looked like a small forest.

“I go down here when I need some inspiration, it’s beautiful and I know it’s not quite the kinda photography that you usually like but it’s breathtaking” He sounded so passionate about it, making me feel so sad about my lack of passion.

“I’m open to anything these days, I don’t have anything giving me inpiration anymore” I sighed.

“And I hate sounded so fucking depressing, I just want something to come into my life and give
me a good reason to keep going y’know?” I kicked some leaves as we walked.

“I know what you mean, and you’ll get there soon enough Casey, it jus” He began.

“Takes time, I know” I cut him off. “I would just love for something to slap me in the face and say “Hey look Casey, this will really improve your life” but nothing is working” I groaned.

“Have you ever done something completely and utterly mental? Like sky diving or something stupid like that?” He asked. I thought for a moment and laughed.

“Nah I’m a boring old bitch, most thrilling thing I’ve ever done was attempt surfing when I stayed in Australia and I gave up after like three tries, so I’m not hugely known for thrill seeking” I laughed at myself, my life was actually pretty dull.

“Why don’t we change that?” He suggested, I looked at him and made an odd face at him.

“I’m too much of a wimp if I’m honest” I looked on ahead, trying to avoid it.

“Well, you don’t have a choice. Starting from today we’re gonna do one out of the ordinary thing a week okay” He explained. “I don’t know what but we will okay” I just rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Good luck trying to get me to do anything different Jordan. But thanks, I can’t exactly say no can I?” I tucked my hands into my pockets and kicked some dirt infront of me,

Jordan stopped and faced me. “No, because that’s what you’ve been doing your whole life.

Now it’s time to start living again. Now what was the thing you wanted to speak about?” He never forgets, sadly.

“Please don’t judge me okay?” I begged, he was important to me so I didn’t want him to think I was a total bitch or whore.

“I won’t, you know I won’t” He just smiled.

“I slept with Oli last night” I let it slip before I could even think of the words I was saying.

His eyes widened and he began laughing. “Seriously?” I just nodded. “Oh fuck Case, you really know how to dig yourself into the shit eh?” He just couldn’t help himself.

“Jordan” I groaned and began walking on again.

“Sorry Casey, it’s just really funny. You told him to be with Amanda and now you’re sleeping with him?” He said as he caught up with me again.

“Slept, singular. It happened once and it isn’t happening again” I explained.

“What actually happened then?” He asked. I bit my lip and looked around.

“He came over and got talking, I asked if he thought Amandas pregnancy seemed a bit odd, she's like almost 5 months pregnant and doesn’t look it at all. He got really upset about it so I hugged him to comfort him and then like y’know, boom” I told him. He began laughing uncontrollably.

“Boom indeed” He breathed out. I just punched him lightly on the arm and he stopped laughing.

“Jordan seriously” I groaned.

“Okay Casey, sorry” He apologized. “So how did it end?” I looked at him shocked at why he’d ask such a personal question. “I mean how did things get left between you two when he left?”
He corrected himself when he realised I took it wrong.

“Oh, nothing. He just got up and left, making me feel completely empty and sick to be honest” I
wanted to lie down and let nature reclaim me.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” He asked. “I won’t mention you, just have a chat and see if he tells me. I want to help” He was finally being serious about this.

“I would love that Jordan” I sighed. He pulled me into a hug and it made me feel something, something different from what Oli made me feel but just something.

We walked off into the forest again and I began finding inspiration, something I haven’t felt in years. Thanks to Jordan, it felt like I was beginning to get myself back on track.

Notes

Comments

I. LIKE. IT. I. WANNA. RREEEADDDD IT

Please update. I've been hooked on these stories and starting to read them a second time

@Janelle


It's slowly becoming mines too, thanks for reading and commenting

This story is life

@Madness


Thank you!