An Alternate Ending

Well that was awkward. I know I’ve really upset, confused and annoyed people but there is no need to be so cold about it all. I understand where he is coming from, and I would honestly feel the exact same way if he were to do that to me. He just doesn’t undertsand my whole reasoning for it. My brother forgave me, Lee forgave me and I hope Matt did too but I honestly can’t see why it’s made Oli react like this.
I walked over to Matt and my parents. They were so happy, excited at the achievements that my brother has made. He fucking sold out Wembley Arena. That’s pretty huge. And me? I’m a failed attempt at a photographer. I gave it up years ago, mainly because I had no motivation to do it. Once I got to Australia I got a job in a pub. Didn’t really enjoy it but I did it. And that’s all I really ever did over there. Luckily people love their alcohol in Austalia.
“Hey Case, we’re all going back to Oli’s hotel room for a small party if you wanna come?” Matt asked me. I looked at him with uncertainty. I don’t think I’m really invited though am I?
“It’s probably best if I don’t” I mumbled. He shook his head at me.
“Nah, you’re coming” I groaned at the idea that I would have to see Oli again. He made his opinion pretty clear.
“Matt” I sighed. “Oli isn’t happy with me” I bit my lip and he just smiled.
“Do you think for a second that you aren’t coming just because he’s still butthurt that you left? It was your choice and granted it was pretty shitty of you to just disappear but you did what you felt was necessary. He’ll loosen up soon enough okay” He explained to me. He made it sound as if it was all so easy, like I barely did anything to be so worried about. For me it was huge. I know he’s just trying to make me feel better but it honestly doesn’t, Oli is going to give me Hell.
“Case, it’s been like 6 years. You’re coming to this party” Nicholls came up to us and shook his sweaty hair in my direction.
“Why would that convince me?” I smirked at him.
“You don’t need convincing. If you really didn’t wanna come then you’d of said no straight away. Am I right Vegan?” My brother nodded, grinning from ear to ear.
“Now I know why I left” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah and if you ever try to leave again I will find you and drag you home. You’re not going away again for a long time” Matt laughed. “Right losers, I’m going to shower if any of you wanna join” He winked at me. Yep I’m definitely back home.
“I’ll pass thanks” I cringed at his confidence. He was always so forward sexually towards, well everyone. I let the silence between me and my brother fall dead. “I wanna be a part of your lives again. And not just a boring all friend here and there...” I couldn’t find a way to ask my brother this favour.
“Casey just spit it out” He laughed.
I felt kinda nervous actually. “I wanna get back into photography. I feel like I’ve betrayed myself by giving it up and I honestly feel lost without it” He just nodded. “Can you help me out?” I pleaded. His face broke out in a massive smile.
“I’ll see what I can do” He hugged me again.
----
I stood nervously next to Lee and Jordan, waiting for my brother to hurry up. We were waiting for the elevator to reach the level of Oli’s floor. The hotel was heaving with people. Loads of them. Mostly fans trying to sneak upstairs to meet the band.
My brother had to go to his own room first to get changed since he forgot his change of shirt. Matt had left with Oli to get some drinks. Not many people were gonna be at this party apparently. Which made things much more awkward for me.
Jordan was really quiet, he didn’t say much at all really. Lee was chatting away about how his guitar was sounding tonight. Me? I was freaking out slightly.
“Are we gonna wait for my brother?” I asked. Lee shook his head no.
“Nah, we’ll go get started Case” He said what I was dreading to hear. Oli was gonna flip when he seen me.
“Oh, okay” I sighed. The doors opened and Lee walked out first. Jordan let me go next then he followed. I was walking as slow as I could so that I could stall as much as possible. Lee just walked on ahead of us but Jordan hung back with me.
“Are you alright?” He asked suddenly. I stopped and began hyperventilating. He looked shocked and led me over the lobby instead of down the hallway. We found seats and he sat me down. My breathing had calmed down a bit but I couldn’t stop shaking. “What’s wrong?” He looked so worried.
“I don’t.. think I should be... here” I stuttered out. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
“Why do you think that?” He asked sincerely.
“Oli doesn’t want me here... he doesn’t like me” I felt the tears well up in my eyes.
“Now that isn’t true and you know it. Oli is just odd at times, one minute he’s totally fine then the next he’s off his rocket” I couldn’t help but laugh. Jordan obviously knew Oli much more than I anticipated.
“But if I just turn up he might be annoyed” I shrugged. My breathing had calmed down significantly since Jordan began speaking to me.
“And so what if he is? You know what you need? To let loose and show him that you don’t give a fuck about what he thinks. You know I’ve heard a lot about you Casey. About you and Oli actually. And one thing that I always admired about you was how much you pissed him off. You always got one up on him. He never once got to you. His constant attempts to bed you aswell, and now what? You’re having a panic attack because you’re scared he won’t want you at his party? I don’t know, it seems he has you whipped and you’re not even his girlfriend” He grinned at me.
I cocked my head to the side and began laughing hysterically. I couldn’t stop. I stood up and smoothed out my dress, looking down at Jordan and grinned. “Let’s go” I held my hand out for him and he took it and laced his fingers with mine.
We walked down the hallway and stopped at Oli’s door. Jordan knocked with his free hand and we waited. The door opened and Oli’s smile faded once he seen who it was. “Come in” He muttered. I walked in and smiled at him.
“Thanks pal” I said as I patted his chest with my hand. I noticed he couldn’t help but smile a little at it. We walked into the living room area. I noticed a few people I didn’t quite know myself. Matt, My brother, Lee, Tom, and some girl were sitting on one couch. The other was had a few people I didn’t recognise at all. A girl strolled up to Oli and wrapped her arms around his neck. I laughed a little more loudly than I meant to which made everyone stare at me.
“Drink?” Jordan said to me.
“Drink” I replied. We walked over to the table where the drinks were and I mixed up some Vodka and Coke. My companion got Jack and Coke. We both sipped our drinks and studied the room.
“Oli’s bird is a bit annoying. You’ll find that out soon enough” He laughed. I looked over to her and could see she was clinging all over him. He looked insanely pissed off but I couldn’t tell if it was because I’m here or that girl just annoys the fuck outta him.
The night basically played out like that until more people came over to the hotel and the room began to fill out a bit. There were about 30 people here now. Apparently Oli payed the hotel a lot of money to let them have this party tonight. The music was loud and the drinks were flowing. I was positively drunk. Jordan was in charge of the music, making it very easy for me to get the music I wanted on. I kept making him put on Charli xcx even though everyone hated it. Oli got really pissed off because of the song Boom Clap, I kept saying it was dedicated to him and his fiancee Amanda. She was happy about it but he looked like he wanted to kill me.
“Boom clap the sound of my heart the beat goes on and on and on nah nah nah” Sung my heart out. For some reason I felt amazing. I never thought I’d feel this good with so much pressure on me.
“This music does not reflect the achievement we just pulled off” Oli moaned. Zedd ft Hayley Williams came on next and his soul looked like it left his body.
“ARE YOU GONNA STAY THE NIGHT?” I sung loudly.
“Jordan fucking stop putting songs on that encourage her” Oli shouted. Jordan just shrugged and put the music up louder.
“OH OH OH OH OH ARE YOU GONNA STAY THE NIGHT. DOES IT MEAN WE’RE BOUND FOR LIFE, SOOOO OH OH OH ARE YOU GONNA STAY THE NIGHTTTTT?” I screamed it in Oli’s face and he couldn’t help but laugh. I must’ve looked a right state, but I honestly didn’t care.
I walked over and got another drink, hopefully this won’t make me go over the edge, I really didn’t feel like being sick when I have an early flight to catch tomorrow.
When the song ended and the next one came on I almost died. Jordan must be on my spotify because I barely knew the guy and he got my music taste on point. My brother couldn’t stop laughing, I think he knew by this point everyone was screwed. “Young hunks, taking shots, stripping down to dirty socks" I sung towards Oli. He was the best target. “music up, gettin' hot, kiss me, give me all you've got" I sung as I grabbed his shirt. He was stunned by my sudden action. “It's pretty obvious that you've got a crush (you know), that magic in your pants, it's making me blush (for sure)” I winked at him and raised my eyebrows suggestively.
“She’s drunk" I heard Lee laugh.
“Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah), take my hand, I'll show you the wild side" I grabbed Oli’s hand and he actually came over to me and danced a little. His finance walked over and stood near us, watching. “like it's the last night of our lives (uh huh) we'll keep dancing 'til we die” I couldn’t stop laughing. “I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums. Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone" I pointed over at Amanda. The chorus of “Ohs" made me laugh. “So while you're here in my arms, let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young” I stumbled back and fell on my arse. Making me realise how drunk I really was.
I scrambled to my feet and swayed around on the spot. Oli reached out and straightened me out. Amanda walked over to his side and tried to wrap her arm around him. He shrugged her off to steady me. I kinda laughed and then walked away. I walked over to the balcony and went out onto it. I found a seat over in the corner and made my way to it.
I pulled a packet of cigarettes out of my bag. “I’ve been craving you all day” I said kissing the packet. I pulled one out and put it between my lips and lit it. The nicotine surged through my body and gave me a nice buzz. I heard the door open and I looked to see who had came out. Oli?
He sat down beside me and laughed. “I’m so angry with you but I honestly can’t keep it up for long. You might’ve completely broke my heart but you reminded me the reasons why I ever gave you the chance the break it” He said softly, staring out into the London night.
“I left because I had an awful vision, or idea of what life would be if I gave in to you. It didn’t end well, and it didn’t even go well at all. But I realised how stupid that was about 3 minutes after I got on that plane. Once I got there I lived in depression until my money dried up and I had to get some shitty job at a pub. It was awful, I was awful at it but it paid the bills. I gave up photography and I met a guy. He was lovely, just perfect for me. We eventually got married then I realised I wasn’t in love with him. He wasn’t happy of course. I got divorced and came back here. I’m not asking for forgiveness or to be your friend again. All I’m asking is that you can tolerate me enough to not put me out. I need some support right now, don’t do it for me. Do it for Matt” I explained. How did I do that when I’m this drunk?
He turned to look at me and smiled. “You’re a mess Casey” I took another draw of my cigarette and stood up. I walked over the railing and looked down. “If I jumped now, I’d die unloved right?” I asked looking back at him.
He frowned and walked over to me. “Why do you think that?” He asked.
Tears began streaming down my face and I began sobbing. I stubbed out my cigarette and threw it over the edge. I turned to him and I bit my lip. “If you loved me you wouldn’t of let me go. If you truly loved me you’d of came and got me. Dragged me back home. If you loved me you wouldn’t be here getting married to some skank who clearly doesn’t love you. But you didn’t do any of that Oli, you sat there and let it all happen. Let me go” I wiped my tears. “That’s how I know I’m not loved”
I tried to walk away but my legs decided against it and I dropped to the ground in a heap. My hands clung to my face as I couldn’t stop crying. Oli sat me up and pulled me into his chest. He ran his hand through my hair and hugged me while I cried. “I did try” He mumbled. I pulled back and looked at him.
“What?” I sobbed out. He looked away, wondering if he should tell me.
“Once we did the tour, we got offered an Australia tour not long after so we took it. Matt told me where you were living once we finished the tour and I tried to find you. I tried. I looked everywhere. Then I found out where you lived. I went to your house but you weren’t there. Then as I was about to give up I walked into a pub, wanted to drown myself in sorrows then I saw you. The biggest smile on your face. I had never seen you so happy, so I walked away. I figured you were there for a reason, that maybe I was the last thing you needed. You were so full of life after what happened to you here in London, it scared me to think you finally got happiness that wasn’t down to me. So I did try but I also gave you the freedom to have the life you wanted” He finished. I looked at him with sadness.
“You were so close to saving me, if you had of just shown yourself then everything would be okay now... I wouldn’t have missed half of your career. I might even have one myself” I sobbed. He wiped away the tears falling down my face and smiled.
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my entire life Casey Kean” He whispered. I almost swallowed my tongue when he said that, my heart fluttered and I felt sick. I looked him straight in the eyes and leaned in. I placed my lips on his, softly. He didn’t react at first then slowly his lips moved against mine. My heart began beating faster, making my palms sweaty and my head feel light. I felt him run his hand up my arm and then he placed it behind my neck, pulling me in closer to him. I put my hands on his chest for support. I could feel his rapid heartbeat against my hand. It scared me how insane it was going.
I pulled back for air, he basically sucked the life out of me. Of course I would give it to him. This is where my heart lies, I just left it here when I moved. Finally my eyes looked up and caught his. He stared back at me. The intensity of his eyes made me feel airy. “Kiss me again Oliver Sykes” I mumbled as he leaned in and crashed his lips on mine. And in that moment, nothing could stop me.

Notes