Through the Lens

What was it with me? The rest of the night and the following morning, I beat myself up mentally over the fact that there was another "almost" moment between Tony and I. Why did I have to stop him? We both knew what we wanted, but I still stopped him.

Today was the first concert on our tour. I wonder how many more were going to be as awkward as this one?

I sat up in my bed to the sound of Vic screaming like a girl and running down the hall being chased by what sounded like Jaime, growling like a monster.

"What the hell?" I mumbled as I swung my legs over the side of the bed to stand up. I dragged my feet across the carpet to the door of my hotel room. I reached my hand up to the lock on the door and undoing it and opening it to see Jaime running after Vic around the corner. I sighed. "I swear, if we get kicked out, I am definitely blaming Vic!"

"They can't kick out royalty!" Mike stood in the doorway of their room which was directly next to mine with a cup of coffee in his hand.

I rolled my eyes a bit. "Can't I blame it on Vic? You're his brother! I figured you of all people would approve."

Mike shrugged. "Fair."

At the other end of the hall, I heard Vic screaming again, still being chased by Jaime. Assuming they had woken up everyone on the entire floor now, I began to retreat back into my room. As I turned to close the door behind myself, I heard Tony's voice as he said good morning to Mike.

I stopped for a moment and my eyes locked with Tony's for a split second as he walked passed my door. He looked away and continued to walk down the hall. I sighed and started to push the door closed when suddenly it was being pushed open again. Vic poked his head in to my door.

"The hell was that?" He asked.

"What?" I said, trying to act like nothing happened.

"Nope, don't play that." Vic said as he pushed his way into my room, closing the door behind us. This was like back in high school in the girls locker room when someone had a juicy secret to tell. He leaned against the door with his arms crossed over his chest, expecting an explanation from me.

I sighed as his eyes stayed locked on mine, assuming he wasn't going to budge until I told him the truth.

"Okay, fine. Tony and I... we almost sorta... y'know..." I started to say.

Vic had to finish my sentence since I was too nervous to. "You guys almost... did the dirty? Had sex? Banged?"

I nodded a bit and turned around walking towards the huge hotel room window which still had the dark curtains closed. I grabbed them and pulled them apart to send the morning light flooding into the room. I squinted a bit from the brightness and turned back around to see Vic still leaning against the door.

"But why was it 'almost'?" He asked, still looking at me.

"I stopped him." I sighed again, feeling like a moron. There were thousands of girls that would give up anything to have sex with Tony Perry, let alone hang out with him. Why was I so different? Why couldn't I have just not told him to stop? I wouldn't be feeling like this now. "He stormed out last night after the whole 'incident' and now I feel guilty. Probably more guilty than I would have felt if we had actually done anything."

"Well, maybe you should just talk to him?" Vic said as he began to walk forward, sitting at the end of the bed. He patted the spot next to him, wanting me to sit as well.

"What am I supposed to say about that? 'Hey, Tony. We almost had sex.' See? Like I don't even know where to go with that conversation." I took the few steps and plopped down onto the bed next to Vic. I looked down at my feet as I swung them back and forth. Nervous habit.

"He likes you more than you realize, I think." Vic said suddenly.

My legs stopped swinging when I heard him say that. I looked to him as his eyes were fixed on his own feet.

"He likes me? 'Likes me', likes me?" I whispered, almost unbelieving. "Are you sure?"

Vic looked to me and nodded. "Yeah. He doesn't go out of his way to talk to many people, honestly. He mostly keeps to himself. He seems different when you're around and it's kinda funny to see him like that. None of us are used to that and we've known each other for years."

I bit my lower lip. For some reason, my brain refused to believe it. Tony Perry liking me?

"Are you sure it's just not... lust or something?" I asked.

Vic shook his head. "He talks about you all the time. I don't even think he notices it sometimes."

I blushed, my hands covering my face from embarrassment. "Tony likes me... that is something I never thought I'd hear in my life."

Vic chuckled and swung his arm over my shoulder. "You two would make a cute couple. The guitarist and the photographer."

"This still doesn't solve the awkwardness left over from last night." My voice shook a bit from nervousness, having a small flashback of Tony's hands wandering up my shirt. I shook my head to push the thoughts aside.

"Well, we have a show today, so figure it out." Vic smiled and stood up.

My eyes followed him as he began to walk towards the door of my room. "W-wait. Where are you going? You're supposed to be my guardian angel!" I joked.

Vic chuckled. "I think you can handle this. Just talk to Tony, okay?" He reached for the door and opened it, stepping out and closing it behind himself, leaving me to sit on the edge of the bed by myself again.

When was I supposed to talk to Tony? How?

Later in the day we all headed to the venue for sound check and for the guys to set up. All day I still hadn't had a chance to talk to Tony, so the awkwardness was still building up.

I sat back stage on a tacky black leather couch with my camera in my hands. My eyes stayed fixed on the TV that was in the corner showing the stage. The guys were all doing sound check which I could hear as well. Vic talking into the mic, Mike drumming a bit, Jaime yelling something... and Tony doing short but sweet notes on his guitar.

By 7:30, fans started to pour into the venue. The guys were all back stage with me, talking about their set that they had planned. Vic and Jaime sat on either side of me while Mike and Tony sat across from us. It was weird to see Tony not so focused and staring at the floor.

Vic snapped his fingers in Tony's face to get his attention back. He jumped slightly looking up, coming back to reality.

"Yo, get your mind back into the room." Vic laughed slightly.

"Yeah, sorry." Tony replied sitting up straight in his chair, still not 100% back yet.

By 8:30, the show was ready to start. Even from the room back stage I could hear the crowd going crazy screaming "Pierce the Veil, Pierce the Veil, Pierce the Veil" over and over again. The guys got ready by the sides of the stage and I made my way towards the front so I could see the crowd. The red curtain in front of the stage was closed.

I heard a note play from a guitar and the crowd went even more wild.

I gripped my camera in my hands as notes continued to play, which made me recognize the song immediately. The curtain rose to reveal the band under dark purple lighting. The crowd started to cheer as the song picked up and Vic began to sing.

Listen, do you hear my heart beat thump over the monitors?
You pretend to close your eyes
Don't breathe in
Pieces of candy and leaks of light
Leaks of light...
Paint the floor 'round me
Then without hesitating
Hesitating...

The crowd began to jump up and down, singing the lyrics back to Vic as he sang. I was in the area between the crowd and the stage with my camera up taking pictures of the band.

You took my hand and then we both started running
Both started running
There's no place to go
Another bullet and we both started running
Both started running too
Save yourself, don't ever look back
Nowhere to go and so we both spin around in circles!

Vic looked like he was having the time of his life, Jaime was jamming out and having a great time with the crowd, Mike had a huge grin on his face as he played the drums, and Tony was into playing his guitar, smiling a bit and I could see him sing the lyrics a bit to himself. I focused my lens on him and took a picture just at the perfect moment when his eyes looked to me for a second. I smiled.

Creeping through these labyrinths I find
Another dead end to the weekend
But is this real life?
Paper hearts turned ash begin to fly
Over our heads I begin
Screaming while the exit signs read heaven's waiting!

As the song continued, I got some amazing pictures - Jaime jumping around. At some point still on the first song, Mike broke a stick and threw the broken one out to the crowd before pulling a new one from his back pocket.

You took my hand and then we both started running
Both started running
There's no place to go
Another bullet and we both started running
Both started running too
Save yourself don't ever look back
Nowhere to go and so and we both spin around in circles, oh!

Picture after picture turned out to be be perfect. I moved towards the other side of the stage by Jaime who was still having a great time like he did every show. My eyes wandered for a moment to see Tony with his eyes completely focused on me as Vic began to sing the next part of the lyrics...

And I said, hey, what's on your mind?
I think about my life without you and I start to cry
And I said, hey, it's alright
We'll make it
I love you and I'll never leave your side
Ohh!

Almost mesmerized and also thinking it was totally impossible that he felt that way... but why did he look at me like that? My heart pounded in my chest and all I could do for now was continue to take photos.

You took my hand and then we both started running
Both started running
There's no place to go
Another bullet and we both started running
Both started running too
Save yourself don't ever look back
Nowhere to go and so we both spin around in circles, circles
Oh let's go!
Circles, circles...

Notes

I literally can't get this song out of my head so it seemed fitting for this chapter! <3 Wonder what happens next between Tony and Rax...?