Friday Night, 11 PM…

The night was terrible, horrible, and no good. I dreamt of torture and pain, of misery and loss. The nightmares at away at any defense I had. They attacked my self-worth and strangled my confidence. They irritated me and filled my mind with horrid thoughts.

But I knew, as bad as the nightmares were, reality was ten times worse.

I never wanted to wake up. I just wanted to sleep forever. It would mean not facing the buyers, not facing certain wrath. But if I slept forever, I could never escape…

Right now, my main goal was getting out. I didn’t want to fight back anymore-I just wanted to get away. Fight or flight? Flight for sure.

I was jolted away by the sounds of voices enter the bus. The noise was unfamiliar to my eyes so used to the harsh foreign accents. Sure, the British boys were there as well, but I was mentally searching for a name to the new voices.

Ah….the buyers.

There more than I thought. I suspected one or two, but it seemed to be four or five of the male species. Moving around, I felt a sticky substance linger on my cheek. Pressing my index finger to the dried liquid, I pulled away red specks. It was the blood from yesterday. Bruises lined my arms and legs. I felt the dull ache arise from my twisted ankle. It seemed like the world was on fire and I was in the direct middle of the inferno.

Groaning, I saw that the curtain had been drawn across the bunk. I couldn’t see out and people couldn’t see in. Throwing my hands up, I felt at the collar with numb finger tips. My mind was racing.

I had to snap out of my sleepy stupor quickly so that I could focus on a plan for escape. This might be my one chance. If I could get out of the bus with the new buyers, whoever they were, I could find something to knock them out with and then stumble away. It would have to work…

The prickly tips of my fingers found the latch at my collar. It was a twist lock and I fumbled with it. The collar gave way. Now I knew how to get in and out of this chain. I snapped it back into place and lay still, focusing on breathing in and out, in and out,

In and out…

“So, Chris, you’re interested in Rory?” I heard Oli ask. Chris? Who was he and why did his voice sound so familiar?

“Yes, sir! We’re looking for another girl since the last one was a little…hard to handle.” He chuckled.

“Motionless, do we have a girl for you.” Lee chuckled. Motionless….Chris….CHRIS MOTIONLESS! Okay, I had it figured out.

Motionless in White were the mysterious buyers.

Things seemed to make a little more sense. There was a little more background chatter from the others. I leaned to the edge of my bunk, barely drawing the green curtains an inch. I looked to the back first of all. The back lounge door was closed and the lights dimmed, but not off all the way. I kept that fact in mind. I had a backup plan: If I could, I would sneak to the back lounge while the others were distracted. Once there, I would lock myself in, unlock/smash the window, and escape as fast as I could.

“I’m warning you, she’s quiet, but we had her attempt to escape.” Matty warned.

“Escape?” I heard Ghost ask. That was at least one voice I could recognize. Keeping my eyes closed, I kept on focusing in on the conversation.

“Yeah, she took us by surprise. Orion is pretty easy to handle; She doesn’t fuss or complain much. All I would say, is keep an eye on her.” Oli added.

“So is she trained?” Vinny chimed in.

“Of course. She has a weak spot if you run your nails over her back. Do that a couple of times and she’ll be responsive immediately. It’s great for stopping any misbehaviors.” Sykes laughed, as if it was all fun and games for him.

Now that I was done peeking out to the closed back door, I wanted a look at the MIW crew. I threw my sweatshirt on silently, making sure that my ipod was in my pocket. Once it was safely tucked away and out of prying eyes, I drew back the curtains and inch and looked out to the MIW boys.

They were all decked out in their outfits and makeup. They had probably just gotten off of a concert. Shaking in fear, I saw they all had their backs turned to me.

I got lost studying the way they sat, how they crossed their arms, the features that I could see like hair and arms. Chris, Balz, and Vinny had their backs to me around a table. My current sellers were all obscured by the wall. I could only see part of Ricky and Ryan’s faces. I studied Ricky, looking at how he was focused on the table, not really seeming interested in the conversation. His lips were settled in a very neutral position, almost on the border of boredom.

That’s when he looked at me.

Our eyes locked for barely a minute before I shot back into my bunk without another word. My heart was racing. Ricky and I’s eyes had locked for a brief moment, just for him to register that I was, in fact, listening to them. The beat in my chest increased as I heard the conversation slow to a halt.

“Ricky, are you listening?” Chris asked in slight annoyance, or possibly tiredness.

“Yeah, yeah…” He muttered. It was obvious that Ricky Horror was not listening, but the boys went back to the conversation.

“So what were you thinking for price?” Lee asked. There was a hesitant pause.

“I don’t know right now. We’d have to see her.” Chris responded.

“I assure you that she’s beautiful, trained, and will be great.” Oli reassured the other band.

“I kind of want to see her.” Balz mumbled loud enough for me to catch.

“She’s sleeping right now but I can get her.” Matt offered. There was another eternity of silence until the next word shattered the world.

“No, she’s not.” Ricky murmured. I strained to listen in. My sweaty hands fingered the clasp. I would have to resort to plan B….

As soon as the latch clicked free, I heard a sharp intake of breath. It seemed that things had started to get a little tense.

“What do you mean?” Matty asked.

“I just saw her poke her head out.” Ricky offered. I closed my eyes and mentally cursed the bastard. I was hoping to be spared the moment of rest. There was heavy footsteps as I heard Oli and Matt come toward the bunk. I had gotten to memorize the footfalls of the boys over the past few weeks.

Huddling up against the far wall of my bunk, I struggled to find purchase to hold on. My hands grabbed at nothing. Other hands grabbed at me. Before I really could know what was happening, I was being dragged out of my bunk. The force was enough to make me stumble out. I yelped as I landed hard on my twisted ankle. Blurred dots unfocused my vision.

And then I saw them. All. Of. Them.

I saw the frightening faces of Chris, Balz, and Vinny, the confused face of Ricky, and the steamed faces of everyone else. All I knew was that I had to escape, I had to run.

Oli’s arms were around me, but I managed to elbow him in the chest. The blow sent him reeling. In an instant, the others were trying to grab me and restrain my frantic movements. I let my arms land blows to whoever was slow enough to dodge them.

As one hit landed in Lee’s ribs, I slipped past him and in the only direction I was able to escape in: Towards the back lounge. The others were yelling to stop me and breathing heavily as the door slammed shut behind me. I quickly pressed the lock and felt a little safe for a moment.

Tears were streaming out of my eyes from the pain as I gasped hard. My muscles were being attacked by an invisible bear that was slashing through the tendons. It all felt terrible.

I stumbled into the small room and fell down on the couch. In the window to the bunks, I saw the faces pressed against the glass. Collapsing on the couch, I violently shivered and shook from the fear and pain.

No, I didn’t want to go with these new guys. I didn’t want to go with the frightening terrors that delved straight out of my nightmares.

I heard the door slam and more yelling from the other side. I saw Ricky’s soft face as he looked worried. I locked eyes with him, just for one second more. In his eyes, I saw that he knew I was in pain. He knew that I was struggling and just wanted to be free.

Oli was apologizing in the background and Chris was yelling that he just wanted to get to me. Somewhere in the front of the bus, someone was searching for the emergency key to open the door. I had limited time.

Getting up on arms that shook like a tree in a hurricane, I crawled to the top of the couch and struggled with the window. The green curtains were tossed to the side as I fumbled with the glass panes. The dying evening light pitied me as my breath fogged the window. My chest heaved as I slipped and hit my ankle again. Let out a mangle cry, I grasped my chest, trying to hold myself together, as if I would fall apart.

And that’s when the door gave way.

Someone had gotten the key that now dangle on the other side of the lock. The wooden door slammed against the wall, most likely leaving a mark in the plaster and plastic. Hands snatched at me and I pressed myself into the corner, curling into a ball and letting fresh blood mix with heavy tears, again. It was like last night, but worse.

Then suddenly, it stopped.

There was whispering and jumble words that didn’t register in my head as people backed out. I saw in my blurred vision pairs of legs disappear to the front lounge. I must’ve been dead because reality was ,by far, not this kind.

I was still shaking when a hand touched my shoulder. Squeezing my eyes closed, I let out a howling scream.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I screeched. The hand backed away as I leaned into the walls. All I wanted to do was disappear and never return to this wretched world. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Hey, Little One. You’re okay.” A voice cooed to me. I couldn’t help but ease up at the sound of the soothing man. Although I didn’t want to place a name to the voice, I felt like I would have to open up my eyes at some point.

“Just go away.” I mumbled, as if he would actually listen to me. My head went light at the effort of talking. My hands clenched the sleeve of the opposite arms. Tucking my chin into my chest, I shivered.

“Little One, you’re hurt.” Whoever it was whispered to me. I opened my eyes, seeing that maybe this man would actually take pity on a weakling like me.

“My name’s Rory, S-sir.” I replied with a stutter. I am not Kitten. I am not ‘Little One’. I am Rory.

I should probably try to use my manners, even though the thought disgusted me. Turning my head, I saw that it was Ricky, balancing on the balls of his feet. He knelt beside me. I flinched away as he reached out to touch me.

No, no more beatings.

Touch means to beat. Beating means pain. Pains means torture. I can’t stand this torture.

“Rory, you’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, Sir.” I dropped his glance, staring at the carpet by his feet. We sat in uncomfortable silence, except for my occasional sniffle and chatter of teeth. I winced a little as I tried to move.

“Please, won’t you come out?” He asked quietly. I shook my head in decline. No, I don’t want to go out with the frightening band. “We’re not that bad.” He chuckled. I continued to refuse it.

“Please, Little One, won’t you let me help you?” He begged. It was the first time I had seen a Master beg for my acceptance.

“But Sir, they’ll hurt me.” I sobbed. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. I didn’t want to wake up to see ugly bruises. I didn’t want to feel worthless and ugly anymore.

“I’ll protect you, don’t worry.” He smiled. I looked into his soulful eyes again and thought through my answer.

“I can’t walk.” I responded quietly. He stood up, holding his hand out to me. Shakily, I took it and he helped me up. I leaned back into the corner of the wall, still not trusting him.

How could I trust a man who might hurt me?

“Come here, Little One.” He opened his arms to me. I wiped away pink tears and salty blood as I wobbled into his arms. Slowly, he engulfed me in a hug that told me that he was here, and he didn’t want to harm me. His warm arms pulled me into his chest. His right hand stroked my hair. I quivered in Ricky’s grasp. The man leaned down and whispered sweet nothings of encouragement and for a moment, I started to believe him.

Was I foolish to think he meant it all? Possibly.

“Come on, Little One. I’ll carry you out.” He told me. Before I could object to his offer, I was scooped up into his chest. He carried me as if he was carrying a bride on her wedding day. I closed my eyes, starting to not fall easily into a sleep, but collide with a wall of passing out. As we stepped out of the door, I fell into such an usual state, I could barely describe it.

It was like I was frozen in that moment before you fall into a heavy sleep. It’s right when you’re about to go into darkness, but you can’t move and you can’t really say anything. It’s like being paralyzed, but about to pass out, all at the same time.

Ricky carried me through the bunks as I was hovering in this plane of existence. With my head tucked into his chest and arms folded over themselves, I was aware of everything; From the place where Ricky held me right behind my knees, to the others’ conversations slowly die down, I was aware.

“Wow, Horror. You got her to calm down.” Balz whistled. Ricky had stopped walking. I’m guessing we were in the front lounge now.

“She doesn’t need a whip to be calm.” Ricky stated firmly.

“I can take her from you.” Oli offered. I felt the presence of the singer grow close to me, even if I couldn’t see him.

“No, no, I’ve got the Little One.” Ricky murmured. I smiled internally at my nickname. It’s better than Kitten, right? I might just be able to get used to that one…

“Hmm, a pet name already? You’ve grown fond of her.” Chris laughed. Ricky hummed softly in pleasure.

“Well, what are you thinking about her? We can also get another girl if you want. It might take us a couple of days, but we can surely find you another target.” Matty offered out.

“Well-“ Ryan started off before Ricky immediately cut him off.

“Her. I want her.” Ricky stated firmly. Chris must’ve raised his eyebrow because he spoke hesitantly.

“Are you sure, Rick? I mean, she’s not just yours, but you’ve seem to have grown attached.” The singer chuckled. If I was really awake, I would hug Ricky closer. I didn’t want to be “shared”. If I had to be someone’s, I wanted to be Ricky’s. Preferably, I would not belong to anyone, but given the situation, I should want a little say in this matter!

“Yes. She’s perfect.” Ricky kissed my forehead. There was more rustling as they agreed on a price and paid. The door of the bus opened, Oli handed them stuff and the jingly metal collar, and we left.

I was clutched in Ricky’s arms the entire way as we entered a new bus. I felt the bite of the cold air cease as we got into the MIW bus.

“Ricky, you should wake Rory up and get her into the bunk.” Vinny suggested. Ricky just sat down carefully, stroking my hair.

“No thanks, Vin. I think I’ll stay up a little while until she wakes up.” Ricky said. Vin must’ve rolled his eyes because I think Ricky flipped him off. Right as I passed from that hesitant reality to the sleeping world, I smiled a little. Maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as I thought…

Notes