Sunday, December Thirty First, 7:45 A.M…

“Motionless in White is on the move. They’re searching for her.” Tino told us. The entire band and I sat around the table. I shrunk back in my seat, chest feeling like a mountain was placed on it.

No, no, not again.

“Wait, they’re on the move? How did they get back up so quickly? How did you find out?” Phil asked him curiously. Aaron took a sip out of his coffee mug, frowning. Austin kept an arm around my waist, holding me close to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that when I opened them, it would all go away.

No such luck.

“Jason contacted me with info. He told me that the band has a van to use while the bus was getting repaired. The band wouldn’t tell him much, since he’s just a tech.” Tino shook his head in frustration. I sighed, staring at the table with just my thoughts becoming a storm around me.

What was Ricky doing? How was he going to handle this new situation? How was I going to handle this? Would they boys find me? Would Austin protect me? Was I going to get recaptured again?

“But you said they were searching for her?” Austin asked quietly. Tino nodded.

“Jason was apparently talking to Ricky when the guitarist accidentally spilled that Chris was driving the van and going to different concerts, trying to see if she was there with one of the bands.” Alan murmured. I looked up at the name.

Ricky.

“Ricky?” I choked out. Alan nodded sadly, his eyes looking defeated.

“Yeah, he’s not very good at keeping secrets.” The ginger chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“It wasn’t an accident.” I mumbled. Everyone froze.

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked softly. I looked up, biting my lips. Should I spill? Yeah, I think they deserve to know that Ricky knows about Jason being a Guide.

“Ricky and Gabe from Sleeping With Sirens knows that Jason was my Guide trying to get me out.” I responded, taking a shaky breath as I finished. Everyone stared at me. Their eyes were large in shock. Austin rubbed my side.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s going to be alright.” He murmured into my ear. I shook badly, staring at my hands. Austin held me tighter against his chest.

“Did they tell anyone? Did they say they were going to tell anyone?” Aaron questioned quickly. I shook my head, terrified eyes meeting his.

“N-no! They said they weren’t going to tell! They actually knew I was going to escape and didn’t tell the others! They didn’t fight when I did run!” I quickly explained. They all silently nodded.

“Anyways, their van isn’t likely to come around to a performance for a while. When’s our next one?” Alan calmed the others down, trying to quell the fear that buzzed anxiously in the warmly lit room.

“Our next show is this Friday. It’s back in Cali, the kickoff of our New Beginnings Tour with All Time Low and You Me at Six.” Austin answered. I nodded, just listening to the words that became faint in the background. But at the mention of ATL, my head snapped up.

Would I be seeing Zack again?

“Oh yeah! Okay, okay, so we should be able to make it a few concerts without them coming to check us out. Hopefully, Jason would be able to give us a heads up when they were going our direction.” Phil agreed. The matter seemed to calm down. We would have this figured out. It would be no big deal, right?

“All Time Low is touring with you?” I asked hesitantly. Austin beamed down at me.

“They are, and I’m sure Zack will be very excited to see you.” Austin grinned. I smiled at the thought of seeing him again. Behind the smile, anxious thoughts started to form.

What about Ricky? What about Austin? I had fallen for all three of the boys I had grown attached to, but I didn’t have the heart to break theirs. Who would I choose to focus my attention on? I can’t keep all of them around! That would be awful and cruel to them. So who was it going to be? What was going to happen?

“Oh, speaking of the party people, we should really pick up more beer for the New Year’s Party tonight.” Alan reminded the boys, who all mumbled their agreements. I looked at the ginger curiously.

“There’s a party?” I squeaked out. Oh no…parties meant people….people meant crowded space…I would get anxious, have a panic attack….I could feel it rising in my throat right now.

“Yeah. Minnesota people know how to party!” Tino chuckled. The heat escaped my face and I felt my vision go dizzy.

“Alan’s girlfriend just moved to Minnesota for a job promotion, but they’re thinking of relocating her to California.” Austin murmured to me. I gulped and nodded faintly. Alan had a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Yeah, she’s awesome. You’ll get to meet her soon enough. We also have some connections in this state so they’ll be joining us as well. Aaron, do we have our beer pong table still?” Alan questioned. The bassist nodded and chuckled happily.

“That’s always your first question when we talk about a party.” He rolled his eyes in playful fun. Alan shrugged, grinning like an idiot.

“It’s an important question!” With that final comment, the little gathering started to dismiss. Tino and Phil went to go play a game on the back lounge Xbox. Alan and Aaron went up to the front to drive. Austin pulled me back onto the couch where I had left my book.

He rewrapped his arms around my middle, holding me close to him. I didn’t pick up my book. I don’t think I would be able to read. I would just stare at the pages until I barely made it through the first sentence and then would have to set it down. Austin breathed slowly onto the back of my neck.

My thoughts skipped from Austin to Zack to Ricky. They were all so sweet. They all made me feel welcome when all I wanted to do was run. Ricky had treated me right on a bus full of slave drivers. He would kiss me goodnight and tend to the wounds. He made sure I was cared for and loved, not abused and neglected. There was Zack, who had been one of the first people I was very close to after the Motionless in White bus horrors. He was quiet and sweet, but always made sure that he was by my side. He was like my personal bodyguard, ready to protect me from whatever came our way. Zack would always listen to anything I had to talk about. Then there was Austin. How could I describe Austin? At first, he scared the living daylights out of me. He was tall and had tattoos and very much reminded me of Ryan, my rapist. But down to his core, he was just a gentle giant, a sweetheart underneath the ink. He pushed me past my comfort level and helped me get past the PTSD and RTS. He didn’t care that I was quiet and respected that there were times that I wanted to be silent. He would rub my back when I was sore and took interest in the things I loved. Yesterday, he even attempted to memorize a poem for me, but I laughed when he mixed up the lines and went, “Wait, I think that’s wrong….” But he laughed with me. We fit together like long lost puzzle pieces.

I felt a tear come to my eye. I couldn’t hurt any of them. They had all taken care of me and treated me right. I would be betraying them, using them, if I continued this.

“Austin, I’m sorry but I can’t.” I whispered and stood up, moving towards the bunk. He jumped up after me, grabbing my shoulder and gently turning me around. I wiped away a tear before he could notice it.

“Did I do something? I’m sorry if I did, I really didn’t know-“

“It’s not you, trust me, you didn’t do anything.” I mumbled. He held me close to his chest as he leaned against the kitchen sink.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong, darling.” He begged, stroking my hair. I just fell into his chest, letting silent tears force themselves down my cheeks, streaking my face. He held me close and rubbed my back gently as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Austin, I-I really….I really like you.” I stuttered out. He kissed the top of my head at his words.

“Darling, I like you to-“

“But…But I can’t.” I whispered, trying to find the words. It was like fishing in a muddy pond. Sometimes, you didn’t even know if the fish were there. Right now, I was fishing in a muddy pond at the middle of the night.

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” He cooed, totally not mad at me. I looked up and he wiped away a stray tear.

“Austin, I don’t want to hurt you. At first I liked Ricky, despite being one of the people that bought me. He actually cared and never hurt me. He would hold me and tell me that I was beautiful, even though I was bleeding from earlier that day. And then I met Zack and fell for him. He helped hold me together when I was falling apart. It was like I was free now and he was the one to help me through getting out of the abusive bus. Now I’ve met you and it’s like I’ve met my other half. Austin, you love me and care for me and have helped me through all the mental crap that I’ve gone through…” I trailed off, feeling fresh tears poke to the surface. A soft smile touched his lips.

“But you feel like you’d be using us if you kept going from guy to guy and falling for him. You feel like you can’t like one of us if you like the others as well.” He whispered to me, still smiling. It was like he took the words right out of my mouth.

I nodded.

“Oh my darling, you shouldn’t feel like that.” He chuckled sweetly. I buried my face into his shirt. It was warm, just like him.

“But I don’t want to hurt any of you. I just don’t know. I love you all but I can’t use you.” I mumbled. He wrapped a dimly grey strand of hair around his finger, tugging on it gently.

“I understand, sweetheart. You know what? If you like the others, that’s fine. I’m just happy that I get to have you now.” He purred to me. I shivered as his cold breath caressed my neck. “And I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to get to meet you. It’s your choice who you love and who you want to be with. If you love Ricky, that’s great. If you love Zack, that’s great. If you love me, just know that I love you as well.” He kissed my cheek. I blushed harder and hid deeper in his shirt. He chuckled.

“You don’t care?”

“Not at all. And there will be a time when you may have to choose who you want to be with. I just want you to know that I don’t care if it’s not me. If you decide that you don’t want to be with me, I just want to tell you right now that I will be happy and support any decision you make…unless it’s to marry a serial killer.” He chuckled. A smile escaped my tears.

“I wouldn’t do that, don’t worry.” I added lightly.

“I know you won’t. You’re going to do the best decision for you. If it’s me, that’s great. I’ll have to ask myself if I’m dreaming, but it’ll be the greatest day of my life. And again, if you decide on Ricky or Zack or any other guy that comes your way, we’ll still be friends and I will have your back.” He tilted my chin up to look at him. I nodded shyly.

“Are you sure?” I asked slowly. He nodded, a gleam sparkling in his eyes.

“I am. And guess what?” He whispered.

“What?”

“I’m sure Ricky and Zack support you as well, no matter what you do or who you choose.” He kissed my cheek as I closed my eyes.

“Thanks, Austin.” I murmured. He shrugged.

“It’s the truth.” He grinned. I felt happier with my thoughts and myself. Austin didn’t care which path I would go down. Even if I didn’t choose him, he told me we would still be friends. I knew I could always rely on Austin.

Nineteen hours later….

It was nine forty five and no one had shown up. I looked around the bus nervously. The lights were slightly dimmed. Everyone had on comfortable clothes on. I decided to change into a pair of black skinny jeans I had and a plain blue shirt. The boys were all laying around the bus, just chilling.

When there were three short raps at the door, two things happened.

First, Alan leapt up with such glee, it looked like he was charging for a spot in line to meet his favorite band member.

After my brain processed what had happened, I dove so gracefully in my bunk to hide, it would’ve impressed Olympic divers everywhere. It was a solid ten out of ten, a graceful entry and silent disappearance.

“Hey, babe!” Alan was probably smiling like an idiot. There was a sound of at least five girls all chattering away. I rolled up in my blanket and pretended not to be here.

Shyness mode: Activated!

“Hey, where’s Orion?” Someone asked. I turned over in my bunk, pretending I was asleep. There was quiet chatter mingling with the beats of the music. The sound turned up as I squeezed my eyes closed, silently praying that they would forget about me soon enough.

“Oh, I saw Rory dive into her bunk.” Phil responded. I sighed. Thanks a lot, Phil! I sent more sarcastic thoughts his way mentally.

“Rory! Come meet some people!” Austin called. I grumbled quietly about them being stupid, but I rolled out of my bunk anyways. Getting up, I ran a hand through my hair before walking out.

There were five girls all standing out there. They smiled and waved. I waved back shyly before finding Austin and standing close enough to melt into his side. He looked down at me. My eyes were wide and pleading.

“Rory! I want you to meet my girlfriend.” Alan came over, towing a dark haired girl in tow. I peeked out from behind Austin, who just pushed me out into the open.

“Hello Rory, I’m Kalista.” The girl smiled. I took a step back shyly, trying to blend into the walls.

“Hi, Kalista.” I murmured. Alan wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled the girl closer to him. She giggled and took another drink from a can.

“So I heard you’re a writer. What genre do you write?” She asked me. The question took me by surprise and that combined with the fact that I didn’t really want to type made me take a moment of pause. Austin nudged me from behind.

“Oh, I um, I write mostly poetry.” I shrugged. I’d say anything to get out of this right now. Her eyes brightened up.

“Oh, that’s really cool. I’ve never been much into poetry, but I do have to admit that I love Poe’s short stories.” She grinned. Alan kissed her temple, making her laugh quietly.

“Oh really? What story do you like best?” I questioned. She shrugged.

“Do I have to choose?” We both started to relax as we chuckled. It was like we had known each other for years. I felt a little more at ease around her, but the bus was slowly starting to fill up as Phil manned door duty, letting flood of people inside.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go see the others.” Alan murmured to her. She leaned into his shoulder, sighing.

“But I like talking to Rory!” She complained. I turned to Austin. I knew what the ginger was doing; he was trying to give me a social break, letting me recharge for the next interaction. He turned around and winked to me before walking away. I sighed and relaxed. Austin wrapped his arm around my shoulders, handing me a soda since I was still too young to drink.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.” He murmured. I nodded, settling down right next to him. I saw someone that Tino was hugging and laughing with. People filled every nook and cranny that the bus offered. Two teams battled head to head at beer pong. There had to be at least thirty people on here! It felt like a cramped family reunion.

An hour and a half later, some people were making out on a couch, four people were passed out in the back lounge, and Austin had left me to go play beer pong. I was standing against the kitchen sink, just trying to blend in. I peered around a mass of people to see Alan sitting solo with his girlfriend curled up next to him. She looked like she had either passed out or was about to. I smiled a little bit in faint memory. Alan stroked her hair gently, lovingly looking after her. I looked away before they could see me staring.

“Hey pretty girl.” Someone came up to me. Who was he? I think I recognized him, or at least faintly. Had I seen him somewhere? Was he drunk? Questions raced through my mind as he leaned up on the open wall next to me.

“Hello.” I whispered shyly. My eyes darted around for an escape.

“Why are you standing all alone? Aren’t you going to go play beer pong?” He chuckled lightly. I looked over. It was Austin and Tino against Phil and Aaron. Everyone who wasn’t passed out or staring at the TV and counting down the half hour until it dropped was around them.

“I’m only eighteen.” I murmured. His hand brushed mine.

“Don’t worry, babe. No one’s going to tell.” He chuckled. I felt the nervous zaps fill my gut. This boy was no good. I studied his features a little more, trying to figure out where I recognized him. He grinned, leaning in a little bit.

“You should relax, babe.” He rubbed my shoulder, but I couldn’t relax.

“Sorry.” I mumbled, looking down. I should run, I really should run. There was an awkward pause before I tried to make conversation. Perhaps if I kept talking, I could eventually find a good excuse to leave.

“So what do you do?” I asked him after a moment. He grinned at the question and his eyes locked on mine.

“I drum tech for a band.” His hand brushed against my arm as he reached up to grab another beer. I nodded, putting on a weak smile.

“Oh, that’s cool. Challenging?” I asked. I turned to the beer pong table and saw Austin watching me. My eyes widened and I mouthed a plea for help. He looked back down at the game, anxiously scanning the surface of the table as he tossed a ping pong ball.

“Kind of. I have a friend who helps me out. His name is Jason.” The man nodded.

“Oh, that’s cool! I know a Jason. He’s nice.” I trailed off, waiting for another comment to come up. Jason, Jason, Jason…it can’t be my Jason, can it? I mean, he was a drum tech, but the probability of it being the same person was very low. The USA is large, and we outran them long ago!

“Yeah. He’s covering for me while I take a little break. Hey, I didn’t catch your name, sweetheart.” He took a sip of the beer. I smelled it on his breath. It tainted his person. I resisted gagged.

“It’s Rory.” I tried not to sound like I was dying from the stench. I watched curiously as his eyes went wide and as if he had seen a ghost. The expression flickered back to one of happiness, but there was a lingering I-know-something-you-don’t look on it. I gulped from fear. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that…

“My name’s Casper.” He barely got the words out before Austin appeared to snatch me up. He kissed my forehead for extra reassurance.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to borrow Rory for a moment.” Austin pardoned us. I nodded as I took a last look at him.

“I’ll see you real soon, Orion.” He winked, a devilish smirk on his face. That’s when it dawned on me. I felt sick to my stomach. I took one look back over my shoulder. Casper’s head was done, one hand over his ear. He used the other hand to push a phone up to his head, basically yelling into the speaker. I couldn’t hear but I know it was bad.

I know him.

I know his name.

I know the band he works for all too well.

There’s only one reason he had that look on his face.

There’s only one reason he knew my real name.

“Austin, I need to talk to you.” I gasped to him. He nodded and quietly led me out of the bus. I barely made it down the stairs before I slid down the side of the bus, gasping like I couldn’t breathe. I really couldn’t.

Ican’tbreatheIcan’tbreatheIcan’tbreathe….I thought this over and over until my mind went numb. All I saw was a blur of colors. Austin knelt before me, cupping my face in his hands. He looked panicked.

“Rory! Rory! Come on, sweetheart. What happened? Talk to me? What did he do to you?” Austin asked. The door opened and Phil followed him out, running down to my side. I pulled away from Austin’s hands, still falling deeper into my panic attack. Phil was at my side, rubbing my shoulders.

“It’s him…oh no, it’s him…they found me…they found me….” I sobbed loudly. I clawed at my hair, trying to grasp anything that will drag me to reality.

“Who was it? Please, tell me!” Austin begged. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. Phil continued to rub my shoulder. My eyes weren’t looking out on the midnight landscape with the bus screaming as everyone cheered for the New Year. No, I was in the flashback of watching as Casper started talking loudly on his phone, yelling to people back in the band.

Austin and Phil waited for my answer as I sobbed it out.

“It’s Casper! He’s the drum tech for Sleeping with Sirens! He called Kellin and now the band knows I’m here!”

Notes

OH NO!!! SLEEPING WITH SIRENS FOUND OUT WHAT BAND RORY IS TRAVELING WITH!!!

Here's a little hint to Casper: Look back at Chapter 24, titled I Told It Not, My Wrath Did Grow. Just reread through part of it when they decide Jason will look after Rory while the band was playing. Seem familiar now?

BUT ANYWAYS, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? KELLIN WILL CALL CHRIS...THEY'LL GO FIND OF MICE AND MEN...RORY'S WORLD WILL BURN!!!!

Ultimate collapse is on the horizon. What will happen to Rory now? Keep reading and find out! Please feel free to leave a comment! They mean the world to me :) I love hearing from all you wonderful people!