Eye Opener Contest

I sat down on the blue comforter. It bounced and ruffled against my legs. School was boring, long, and a general waste of my time. Today was one of those “block days” where I had all even periods. Most of them were off periods and I wasted my time away joking with one of my best friends, Anna. Well, by joking, I meant that I was listening to music and she was yelling nonsense about our English essays. The next period, I spent listening to All Time Low while my band teacher lectured on how to properly play a trumpet. My off period after that, I set my playlist to Pierce the Veil.

Nobody bothered me, as usual. When I had my headphones in, everyone gave up trying to communicate with me. Listening to music was my way to drown out the world and disappear into my own little imaginary universe of band life. It wasn’t hard to block people out-I did it all the time! In fact, I spent about five minutes every day without my headphones in. The black cords were strung around my neck 24/7.

After a quick review of my day, I flounced forward, settling on my chest. The phone’s screen burned brightly in the abyssal darkness of my room. The stars outside burned little light into my corner. Outside, the hallway shone little illuminance through the crack in my door. Slaves to Substance started playing and I mouthed along with the words.

Without warning, the door opened on creaky hinges. Once again, I didn’t hear whoever’s knock or the door wail and complain. The dark figure stood at my door way. It was Felix Henderson, my older brother. The tall shadow loomed over into my room and golden rays shattered the darkness. My eyes squinted in annoyance.


His mouth moved, but the words never broke through my music wall. Taking out one earbud, the first time today, I paused my music and frowned.

“Andy?” His small voice asked me. Felix looked defeated and slumped over. He was my big brother, the one I looked up to! Now, it was like the weight of the world was strapped to his back.

“Yes, Felix?” I questioned with a sigh. Last year, he had been so energetic and fun loving. Ever since a few months ago, he was tired, never left his room, and always looking depressed. Something must’ve happened.

I wouldn’t know.I had my headphones in the entire time.

“Um, can I talk to you about something?” He sat down on my bed. I threw my phone on the other side of me, the invisible headphone cords tangling up. My annoyance was growing by the minute. I was losing valuable time to listen to Suicide Silence and Asking Alexandria.

“Fine.” I grumbled. He shook out his dark hair, sighing deeply. I rubbed my fingers together and awaited whatever boring news he held for me.

“You know about Rory, right?” He whispered. I nodded. I think he must’ve been the friend that had moved off to California.

“Yes, now go on.” I complained. He shook his head like it was paining him to even breath. The darkness enclosed both of us.

“He um….” His voice broke and I heard him start to sob. His arms shook and the entire outline of his body in the cold room seemed to vibrate.

“Felix, stop being so dramatic.” I rolled my eyes. Felix wasn’t ever this dramatic! Seriously, this was beginning to be very disturbing. I groaned and flopped down on my back.

Please, get out! I just want to tune out your stupid drama! I thought over and over.

“I’m sorry. It’s nothing.” He got up and trudged out of the room. Both of the headphones were untangled after a long fight and I resumed to imagine Mitch Lucker singing away the pains of the world. Downstairs, I thought I heard the faint shouts of my parents arguing.

Somewhere, Felix’s door slammed shut in the agony of the moment.

Three weeks later….

I came home from another terrible day at school. Anna attempted to talk to me. I successfully tuned her out. My sneakers were worn and sweaty from PE. I hated when people attempted to socialize. Didn’t they see I already had a friend, called Music?

The door slammed shut behind me as I came into the cold house. It was about eighty degrees outside, but it dropped to forty when I entered. The backpack dropped off my shoulders and grumbled as it hit the ground. Felix should be home by now. His car was parked in the driveway. Pulling out my headphones, I adjusted the cord and switched to ATL’s Lullabies.

“FELIX!” I called out into the empty house. My parents were at work, so I was left to fend for myself. The usual over protective brother didn’t emerge from his normal place in front of the TV.

In fact, the TV was dead silent.

“Felix?” I called out, taking out an ear bud. No sound, no voice jokingly teasing me about being late.

“Hello?” I asked. No, his car was here. He had to be here somewhere….

I tromped up the stairs, going into my room first. It was silent with the exception of the fan whirling. The hallway bathroom was closed, light on. Okay, maybe he was in there. His bedroom was cracked open, like he might be doing homework.

“Felix, I’m coming in!” I knocked and entered his room.

“Sing me to sleep…..” Alex’s voice blasted into my brain. No, his bed was made and the pillows were arranged.

A note was left on his bed.

With curiosity wracked up and a tight feeling in my gut, my clammy hands grasped the white paper. It was colored with Felix’s usual handwriting.

Little Andy,
You might never read this, with your headphones in. I don’t think you ever heard me cry at night either. It seems like no one ever does. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you. I’m sorry that you’ll grow up and go off to college without me there, but I just can’t do it. I can’t take life anymore. Rory left for California, but remember that night I came to talk to you about it? Yeah, he died in a motorcycle accident. They said they found his body in five different parts. Guess what? I’m alone. Mom and Dad are always gone and it seems like you are too. I’ve always been there for you, but it seems like you’ve faded away now. All you have left is your music and it hurts to not have my little sis back with me.

All I have left to say is I’m so sorry and I’ll miss you.
Goodbye for good,
Felix

Oh no. No. NO. NO!

This can’t be happening! I missed out on my brother that one night. I couldn’t take the time to listen to him for only two seconds. I brushed him off. I took him for granted. But where was he?

“FELIX!” I screamed his name until my voice was hoarse. Suddenly, it occurred to me. The bathroom light drifted into the icy hallway. My fists pounded on the door until my knuckles went raw. The knob was locked and I was left helpless on the otherside.

I couldn’t leave him this time.

Using all my force, I slammed into the door until the lock gave. I tumbled inside to a sight that made me nearly vomit.

Felix, the boy who had been my protective brother, lay dead on the floor. His wrists were slit and bloody. The knife was limp and cold on the floor. I was stepping in pools of dried blood that used to give him life. This was the boy that played catch with me, that used to play dolls with me, and took me to the zoo in the summer.

Dead and gone, just like my happiness.

And it was my fault because I didn’t listen to him. I was too busy listening to my music.

Sobs wracked my body and made the world tremble. My teeth dug into my lip until I was tasting metallic liquid. My knees gave out and I fell to my brother’s side. A peaceful look had passed over his face before he had died and was forever pasted to his lips. Eyelids were ghostly white and cold, but glued shut over his green eyes. Tears were streaming down my face and soaking my shirt. It didn’t come to mind that his blood was still dripping from his cut wrists.

One cut had ended it all.

Drip, drip, drip….

It was because I hadn’t listened to him and I hadn’t been there when he needed me. It was my headphones that had blocked out his cried for help, his pleas for someone to save him.

Drip, drip, drip….

I pulled out my phone, dialing 911 and feeling an eternity of dial tones pass through the speaker before a woman came on. I gave her the information of where we lived and what had happened. The entire time, my voice was breaking off, bit by bit. My voice was glass, and my dead brother’s body was the hammer.

All the while, my earbuds blasted music. Laying in pools of blood, scarlet liquid enveloped the sound.

“I’ll see you in my dreams….” I heard the numb words as I caressed my brother’s cold cheek. I longed to have his large hands hold mine, just like what had happened years ago.

“Waiting to say….” The song kept coming out but I was unable to stop it. I screamed from the top of my lungs. It was like I was unable to wrap my lips around words. The silence was so heavy only a mountain could bear the load. Pulling up to our driveway was a parade of sirens and a circus of lights. Footsteps rushed up the carpeted stairs to where both of our limp forms silently mourned.

And this was because I hadn’t cared enough to take out my headphones and stop the music.

“I miss you, I’m so sorry…..”


Two weeks later….

I had been to my brother’s funeral only a few days before. Anna came to cheer me up, but how could I? I lost my one person who was the safety net from the world. He was gone forever and it was my fault. My parents had been in tears and I unwillingly joined the river of sorrow. At least he was with Rory now.

Why didn’t I listen?!

Today was a Saturday and the afternoon sun seemed to be overbearing. My two feet carried me away from my house in a desperate attempt to escape all the memories my home entrapped. There was a little wooded area a few minutes from my street. When I entered the tree line, I turned up the music. Ever since my brother’s death, I had sat in my room and listened to all the sad songs on repeat. It seemed a little counterproductive, didn’t it? It seemed rude that I was listening to the thing that killed my brother.

Well, that seemed to be the one thing that made me focus on not following in Felix’s footsteps.

As I tromped through the undergrowth, I slowed to a stop. End of Me by ADTR started playing and all I did was sit there and bit back tears until bloody jewels were tainting my mouth. Using the back of my hand, I stared at the dirt and shuffled my feet a little. It seemed like they were glued with cement to that one location in the world. A gentle breeze picked up my hair and pushed it in different directions.

The song ended and I pulled out the small device. I stared at this little thing cradled in my hand. It had been my life for the past year. The earbuds had been the death of me.

No, of my brother.

A small dirt trail, neatly tucked between large, leafy bushes led to somewhere. I had no clue since I hadn’t seen this before. My eyes wandered over to it. A new song popped up, encouraging me to ignore the new path and just walk along the main trail.

Eyes ablaze, I ripped the cord out of my phone. The headphone jack was yanked out and I shut off the music. I wouldn’t let it rule my life any longer!

And suddenly….my world was different.

No longer was I filled with guitar riffs and drum beats, but I heard a lark brightly belt out a chorus of chirps. The wind whispered through the trees and leaves trembled under their touch. It was like everything was brighter and I was alone in it.

A small patter of steps came from the path. It was so faint, I had to close my eyes and just empty my mind in order to hear it.

I never would’ve heard the sound if I had my headphones in.

Curiosity to the origin of the sound drove me between the bushes. As stealthily as I could, I treaded the worn path to the noise. The footsteps became louder and I slowed down for a little while. The path rounded a bend and the birds’ songs increased in volume and intensity.

As I turned the bend, I noticed a little roundabout. All the path was is a dead end! It just turned around a bush and went the way it came. Shoving my hands deep in my pockets, I huffed and grumbled a little about the stupid trail and life leading to dead ends. It was my own twisted sort of logic and I was just spouting nonsense now.

“Oh, hey! I didn’t see you there.” I voice piped up from behind me. I whirled around, kicking up a small cloud of dry dust. Basking in the sunlight was a tall man with brown hair and warm eyes the color of a pine tree’s trunk. His smile radiated brightly, but I was more drawn to the tattoos that inked his arms than anything else. He wore black skinny jeans and had a Slipknot shirt on. I ogled at him a moment longer before catching myself about to start drooling.

I mean, I wasn’t one to judge a person on looks, but damn!

“Oh, um, hi. Sorry, I was just wandering around.” I excused myself with eyes cast downwards. He laughed a little. Untucking his hands from his small pockets, he walked towards me a little, stopping and looking around at the forest around us. His hair ruffled in the breeze but somehow managed to still be perfect. Mine just turned into a bird’s nest of brown strands. He gleamed down at me and twisted his head to inspect everything. He was so tall!

“It certainly is a pretty place. It’s a short little trail, but not many find their way here.” His voice chuckled. The sound was as sweet as the lark’s song and I couldn’t help but forget why I had escaped my house to come here.

“I know! It’s very secluded, but I’m sad that the path ended so quickly.” I lamented. He gestured to a small cluster of trees surrounded by prickly bushes.

“That’s not all to it. Not many people find themselves here, but even fewer take this path.” He whispered slyly, bidding me forward. Without hesitation, I followed his lead. I mean, he could be an ax murderer that jumps out at any moment, but I guess that’s the risk you take when your brain controls your feet!

The tattooed man, still looking about my age, held back a bush and I ducked through with a small murmur of thanks. He took the lead and I followed him through the winding paths of trees.

“I never mentioned, my name’s Austin Carlile.” He beamed. I smiled at the name. He looked so happy.

“I’m Andy Henderson. It’s short for Andrea. I live just a few miles away from here.” I responded. His head bobbed and he continued on.

“So what brought you here?” He asked. I cautiously stepped over a jutting rock and shrugged.

“Escaping my house.” I retorted. The headphones seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, but being with Austin eased the load.

“That’s a valid reason.” He chuckled. We continued on in silence until we reached a small little pond. It was a nice clearing with large rocks surrounding the banks of the pond. A stream fed into it and another side emptied it. The water was crystal clear and not deep at all. Austin led me down to the rocks. We each took a seat and silently listened to the babbling stream.

In the silence, I heard one melody of the world.

No song on my phone could match this.

“So you just graduated high school, I take it?” He asked me, the tender eyes locking on to me.


“Yeah. I just finished with it. I don’t know what college to go to, but I’ll figure it out. What about you?” I asked softly. My brother was just supposed to be finishing up with college by now.

“Same. So do you like listening to music?” He asked me, a twinkle peeking into his smile. I gulped down the knot in my throat.

“Yeah, actually.” I responded blankly. Austin’s quick subject change from school to this had taken me off guard.

“Same! I like A Day to Remember, All Time Low, and stuff like Bring Me the Horizon.” His cheeks instantly were flooding with a shade of red as he looked to the reflecting water. I smiled a little.

“So do I.” I agreed. He looked at me like I was the only girl in the world. We conversed as easily as two friends who had known each other since their time in the womb. Our conversation came to an easy halt. Together we watched a few leaves drift onto the water like little boats that ants could board. I smiled a little, finally loving the person who stared back up from the water. All the while, I could feel Austin stare at me and grin. We barely knew each other for an hour, but he was the friend that understood and never asked questions.

As I crossed my legs beneath me, I thought back to the headphones. I thought to the joys of listening to music. I thought of the troubles it had bestowed to me. I thought of my brother and I thought that I should’ve listened. I thought that it was the past and I thought that this guilt would live with me forever.

But looking around, I saw the beauty of nature, I saw a handsome man sitting next to me and his fingers encouraging a leaf boat to steer to the other side of the pond. Not only did I see things, I heard the birds whisper harmonies to accompany the water’s bubbly melodies.
And so the realization hit me: I was missing out on all of this with my headphones in. I was tuning everyone out that was trying to help me and I was blocking out those that needed my help. With my headphones, I wasn’t enjoying the natural sounds around me. I was missing out with my headphones constantly plugged in. If I had been listening to music full volume, I would’ve missed Austin’s soft footsteps that lead me to the path. I would’ve missed meeting my new friend.

With headphones, I would be losing out on a lot of things. I had already lost one too many. Not anymore.

So with these realizations in mind, I went back to enjoying the songs of a flock of birds communicating and the wind lulling my mind to ease. With a gentle sigh, I leaned on my open palms and threw back my head, soaking in everything around me.

“Is everything alright? You’re sighing.” Austin’s worried voice asked me. I turned my head and locked onto his soft eyes. With the first smile in two weeks, I nodded.

“Yeah, everything is all right.”

Notes

This was entered by Chaos'sWolf. It is the winning entry! Congratulations! It absolutely tugged at my heart strings and blew me away! Everyone should definitely go and read her stories, she's phenomenal. I forgot to say in the note I'm sending you, but happy birthday! I hope this is an appropriate present. You definitely deserve it! xo