Purity

The reason I was gone so long was because I was in the hospital. In a psych ward per say. And before the hospital stay, I was on thin ice the Whore (my mum) and didn't want to risk logging on for her to find I was on it again. The first time she found me on this site, she beat the shit out of me. So yeah. Currently at 10:27 P.M. right now, she's snoring her ass off in the next room. I'll tell you how and why I got sent to the hospital.
I put myself in the hospital. I called the national suicide hotline (1-800-273-TALK) and told the lady about my problems while having a panic attack. She asked me if I thought I was not going to hurt myself and I asked her if I could go to a psychiatric hospital. So the police came to my house and talked to me. They picked me up and admitted me to a hospital, a normal hospital. Later, EMTs took me to Children's Inpatient Behavioral Hospital. I was admitted at two-fucking-seventeen in the morning, for fuck's sake! Too early, way too early.
I was admitted because I have PTSD, ADD, OCD, ADHD, some anger issues, had homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide over 51 times before I went to the hospital, suicidal tendencies, anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, social anxiety, was anally raped multiple times from the age of 8 to the age of 12, molested from the age of 8 to the age of 12, cutting, burning, scratching, EDNOS, social phobia, abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, getting verbally bullied, cyberbullied, physically bullied, mentally bullied, I was severely underweight, amongst all my other issues.
I started cutting when I was 6. Started burning half a year later. Started not eating when I was four years old. My mother picked me up by my neck and strangled me half to death as she whispered in my ear: If you ever scream at the top of your lungs again, I'll snap your neck like a fucking twig." Then proceeded to fling me onto the ground, cutting my throat with her nails. I had to go to school like that. My entire family hates me and abuses me.
Now I have to go to counselling and shit. I've attempted suicide at least three times since I got out of the hospital. Obviously, as you can tell, I didn't succeed. My situation has only gotten worse. But that's okay. My mother told me she didn't see how this happened, any of it. I stayed clean, from cutting anyway, for three weeks after going to the hospital. Honestly, I'm ready to die.
I lost all my friends the day I went to the hospital. I was accused of giving a razor to one of my friends who supposedly had cut herself. Honestly, I don't know if she did. I had confronted her about it and she said she doesn't remember anything like that happening.

Notes

I'm just a little fucked up reject, no? I know I am. Sorry for being such a huge disappointment.