Fast times at Clairemont High

On the drive home from Cameron's I was so mad with myself, like what the fuck? Why would I do that? Like seriously Vic why are you so stupid?

You know a girl for not even a day and then you kiss her? But then again when I first saw her it was different, it's like as soon as we made eye contact everything came crashing down and in that moment my whole world revolved around her.

She looked so alone like she'd been waiting for someone, but when she saw me it's almost like her whole face lit up. I could see the sparkle in her blue eyes and it was the most fascinating thing ever. In that moment where we started into each others eyes I could have sworn I fell in love with her.

Pulling in my driveway I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and saw I had one new message I thought it was Cameron but I probably shouldn't have got my hopes up because when I checked my phone it was just Mike

From Mike:

Hey, not gonna be home for a while don't wait up text me if anything happens

4:09 pm


Mike was the only one that I could ever really talk to about anything. I haven't cut in a while but he still gets worried about me. It's nice to have someone to talk to and all but at the same time there are things I can't tell him.

He'll get too worried or he'll tell my mom and dad or anything really so there are certain things I keep to myself. He doesn't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night and not being able to think of anything other than a razor blade.

How do you know how deep to go before you end up in the hospital, or how deep to go before you end it all.

And that's what scares me about Cameron is what if she finds out and hates me or what if I fall completely head over heals for her and she rejects me?

Will I be able to handle it?

This is why I don't date girls.

But I can't do what Mike does and just have sex with them and never call them again because people deserve way for respect than that. And not only is it disrespecting them it's disrespecting yourself saying that you don't deserve anything more
.
That's why I have chosen to wait until I find the right person.

I finally decide to get out of my car and go inside. As I walked in the door my mom said dinner was ready. "I'm not hungry mama" I said walking toward the stairs "You have to eat!" She called after me, but I ignored and went straight to my room.

I laid on my bed and thought about Cameron, after an hour of thinking I finally fell asleep

When I woke up I decided to tell Cameron exactly how I felt. I grabbed my phone to check the time it was 3:07 am I must have slept for a while. I also noticed I had a text message... It's probably from Mike. But when I checked it, it was just a number (what I assume is Cameron.) So I put her number in my contacts.


From Cam<3:

Het vix whdstdjvm

2:35am


I decided to call her to see if she was alright, it rang a few times before I heard someone on the other end.

"Hello?" A male voice said on the other end of the phone. In the background I could here a girl faintly talking.

"Hey, is Cameron there?" I asked confused at who this guy was.

"Mitch give me my phone" I heard the voice of a girl a lot clearer, it sounded like Cameron.

"No you're drunk and you're gonna say something stupid."

"Sorry dude she can't talk" He said

"Okay tell her Vic called" I said

"Okay bye" He said then hung up, I hung up then went back to sleep.

Notes