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Mibba

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When I'm with you, darkness doesn't exist. (Fuenciado)

Beginning and end.

Remembering that days doesn´t make me happy, it hurts a lot going back two years ago and undermine those memories that, if I could, I would plunge them into the sea, trapped on a box with key. However, they are always there and when I call them, they came so sharp as if I was living them again.
“Victor!! Come here!!” My mother yelled when I was trying to sneak me through the front door. It was a typical morning at home, all normal seeing it from outside, but no one suspected what was really happening between those four walls. In the dining room, minutes before the lunch, mom and dad were exchanging some unorthodox ideas. While I was listening everything in my room, upstairs.
I was tired of supporting their fights. That was a scene that they repeated almost every day. The ‘Marrying you was the worst thing that could have happened to me’ and the derivates were always part of the problem.
Most of the times I was trying to ignore them; I wouldn’t let their problems to affect me. After all, those were their problems; I had no place there, luckily. Although many times they put me in the middle.
But that was the Straw that broke the glass. Patience has a limit. And I had a lot of patience, however, I needed to put a final point to that anger locked on my chest.
I took a deep breath to avoid that their screams affect me as all the times before.
The line that, until then, I was drawing in other of the portraits I used to make of my girlfriend, left its place because of the nerves. I used to draw or write a song when I felt trapped, it usually made me feel calmed but not now. This time, I couldn’t handle it. They wouldn’t ruin my life with their fights, I had nothing to do with them. I wouldn’t let them. I wouldn’t lose my usual mood with one of their stupid fights.
The discussion of that day had started with my mother’s typical phrase “What you mean with that?” Responding to a sarcastic comment from Dad, and then, the waves of phrases that I knew almost by heart.
Dad thought that mom spent too much time in her small library on Boston, and mom answered that if he gave her more money, she wouldn’t have to work overtime... It always started like that and they could spent all the night and never get to an agreement. Or they simply get tired or one of them realized about the time and go to sleep in the visitors’ room.
I was tired of listening their fight, so I took my coat and decided to take a ride on the car that they gave me for my birthday –which was, many times, a discussion theme -. Outside, the winter was raw and dark even though it was midday. The winter I’m going to hate all my life.
“Vic!!” My mom yelled again, now behind me.
“What?” I tried to modulate my voice. They taught me to not raise the voice to adults.
“Where are you going? Stay.”
“You want me to stay?! Why?! To witness how you two attack each other, again?” I couldn’t help to explode. I knew some day I will. “I know all your dialogues from memory, mom! I can remember them whenever I want to torture myself. But no more, I’m so fucking tired! Tired of listening to you, tired of having to endure all your scenes. Did you know that the people from the other block can hear you? Is not nice to know my colleagues know about your marital problems. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you. I’m leaving.” I announced before the perplexed eyes of my mom who was paralyzed.
"Victor Fuentes! Come here, you can’t do that!” My father said with his tone of authority making appearance from the kitchen.
“Watch me.” I challenged him and left.
They didn’t followed me, or at least i didn’t see them behind me on the way to my 95 Ford. It was second hand, but was mine and maybe one of the few things that belonged to me inside that house, apart from my drawings and my attempts of songs.
I got in the car and raised all the crystals, turne don the heating and de wheels screamed against the pavement when I accelerated.
I ran away, I wasn’t sure where to go, I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to open a hole in the ground and bury me in.
While I was driving I felt that excruciating pressure in my chest that made me see that Iwas out of place. I was occupying space in a familia, inside a house, I didn’t do anything good or bad, and even if I did, my parents would never realize this. I wasn’t living. I was just breathing.Which was the sense of being in a family where your name had never been in a same sentence with the words “admiration” and “pride”? It didn’t make sense.
I was on one of the main streets of Boston at eighty miles per hour. The snow started to fall again, small White flakes ended smashed on the windshield, and the car was harder to control with the thin layer of ice under the wheels and on the asphalt.
There was not much traffic and that helped a Little. I thought about my girlfriend , the image of Martha brought me hope, if I was going to visit her, I would feel better. SHe always made me smile.
Just imagine her angelic face, with her blond hair falling perfectly over her shoulders, her Brown eyes, her White smile, the nervous giggle and the blush invading her cheeks whenever I said I love her… Everything seemed so simple. I was thinking about it when I accelerated a bit more, the speedometer needle reached almost ninety miles.
I only heard the impressive sound that came from my right side, I turned to see, removing my eyes from the road and saw that a black truck crashed in the back of my car making me lose control.
The sound of the structure of my car breaking because of the crash still rang in my ears while I was stumbling, sliding and with the wheels screeching against the asphalt, it was useless trying to tame the car… it was imminent . When I was aware of what was happening, it was just too late.
My car collided against the light pole that was on the corner, folding as it were an accordion and quickly throwing me out off my Ford. I knew I lost knowledge before reaching the ground because the last thing I heard was the sound of the windshield breaking against my head and felt something hot on my skin.
That impact plunged me into a complete darkness, I knew that I should be thankful.
Darkness would be my companion for a long time, longer than anyone would be able to withstand, although in that moment I wasn’t able to do anything else than holding on to it with all my strength, cling to the only thing that I knew was there, because my body… I just couldn’t find it. I couldn’t feel it.
I could be still falling to the groung, or maybe I was already over it with broken bones, or maybe not… Suddendly I forgot about everything. All that passed a few second and back.

Notes

Comments

Really good so far <3

Jazer Jazer
7/24/14