The Throw-Aways

Somewhere between Austin murmuring beautiful words to me and rubbing my back in the cool bus, I drifted to sleep. When I opened my eyes, I was set back in my bunk, facing the wall. I sighed and picked up my phone. The missed calls still flashed as the screen popped on.

I’d have to call her eventually, but TODAY WAS NOT THE DAY!

I’ll let Alan talk to her first. I’m going to sleep now!

With a gentle sigh, I closed my eyes to the memories of last night and let myself drift off. The clock said eight in the morning, but my brain said rest all day! The ampersand blanket was tucked around me-probably Austin’s doing. Nubby the nub rubbed against it, the sensitive skin tingling.

“Raven! We’re making pancakes!” Austin called to me, sweetly biding me to come out of my little hole. I grumbled and turned over. I didn’t want to go out just yet.

“Really?” I asked. He knew pancakes are my favorite breakfast food…

Especially with chocolate chips and whipped cream….

“Mmhmm…” He teased. I ripped back the curtain and poked my head out. The boys were all sitting in the back lounge while Austin and Alan were making pancakes. The delicious smells were teasing my senses.

All Tino did to set me off was pull out a can of whip cream my eyes went wide. It was my favorite spray brand. Yes, I had a favorite brand of whip cream. Did I care? No.

“Do you have chocolate chips?” I asked them. Phil just stared at me.

“Is the sky blue?” He countered.

“Yes.” Oh, so that was my answer. I debated for a moment before throwing on my sweatshirt and going out to the back lounge. I don’t care that the guys had seen my amputated limb. I’m still wearing my sweatshirt so they aren’t gawking.

“Yay! Come sit down!” Aaron patted the spot he made between him and Tino. Sitting down around the table, I looked to Austin. Sure enough, the pancakes sizzled on the griddle. He winked.

“I figured you would come out for pancakes.” He happily murmured. Alan whistled some tune and started dishing out food.

“Yeah…” I mumbled, staring out the window to the passing landscape. We would spend some time in Idaho for a while before continuing on our journey. My stomach rumbled quietly. I hadn’t eaten in a while, but maybe I could keep food down for a little bit.

“Pancakes are ready!” Alan cheered. His phone buzzed in his pocket as he delivered the plates to us. I snagged the cold can of cream and piled on a mountain of fluffiness before anyone could stop me. Tino and Phil eyeballed the soaring tower.

“Pass me dat can!” Alan sassed and struck a pose, hand out for the cream. I beamed and passed the cold can over. He created a second mountain of cream and suddenly everyone was begging for the whipped treat.

When we were all settled, I picked up my fork and started to pick away at the breakfast. Alan’s phone buzzed. He looked up from the pile of whip cream, a dot of white on his nose. We turned to stare at him as a familiar tune turned on.

“EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!” Aaron sang out as it came to the part. We all stared at him but, everyone jumped up and had a random dance party. Alan rolled his eyes and went to answer it-not before dancing a little.

“Aww…” We sighed as the song stopped. Alan walked to the opposite side of the bus to answer it. He came back, holding the phone out to me.

“Hello?” I asked, not knowing who was on the other end. Austin looked at me curiously between mouthfuls of food.

“RAVEN SKARSSON WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME BACK? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED DANTED, NICO, SKARS, AND I HAVE BEEN?! I SENT YOU TEXTS AND LEFT YOU MESSAGES AND WE WERE ABOUT TO ABDUCT YOU BACK FROM THE BAND!! ALL ALAN WOULD TELL ME IS THAT YOU WERE SITTING IN YOUR BUNK AND NOT EATING AND HOW DARE YOU LEAVE US IN THE DARK?!?!” Kk screeched at me. I went and leaned against my bunk, my back to the boys. Their conversation resumed to a hushed start.

“Kylar, I’m sorry. It’s been a rough week.” I mumbled to her. Her voice was cracking on the other side.

“YOU DON’T THINK IT’S BEEN HARD FOR US AS WELL?! WE’VE COMPLETELY BEEN MISSING OUR BEST FRIEND AND ALAN WOULDN’T TELL US ANYTHING BECAUSE ALL YOU DID WAS HIDE IN YOUR BUNK! WHY WOULDN’T YOU TALK TO US?!” Her voice raged. Sensing how close we were to both breaking and completely losing it, I quickly walked towards the bus door, letting it jolt to a shut behind me. We had parked in a gas station for some quick refuel.

“Kylar, please listen for a second…” I trailed off patiently. When Kylar got on a rampage like this, it could be hard for her to stop.

“You have a minute to explain what happened before I hang up.” She muttered darkly. I sat on the cement, watching the driver quietly fill up the tank for the bus.

“Kylar, I lost my arm in the accident.” My breath hitched as I whispered the words to her. There was no response for several seconds. Pulling the phone away from me, I made sure we were still connected.

“Um, Kk?”

“WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?!” She sobbed against the phone. I moved Nubby the nub in circles under my sweatshirt. I could’ve almost heard her across the states.

“Kylar, I’m sorry. I didn’t tell the guys either. They literally found out last night.”

“WELL YOU SHOULD’VE STILL CALLED ME FIRST!!” Her voice was fractured badly.

“Really, I’m sorry about it. Look, I was scared that guys would kick me out once they found out I couldn’t play piano and-“

“WHAAAAT?!?!?!” Her voice shrieked loud enough that the driver looked over.

“No, they didn’t! Don’t worry!”

“I swear, I would’ve thrown that ginger ass soooo hard…” She muttered furiously. I laughed a little, trying to hold myself together again. I reached down to play with a strand of grass with my free hand….

Oh wait, I didn’t have my left hand anymore.

“Kk, don’t worry they didn’t kick me out!” I laughed a little. Even from states away, I could tell she was steamed.

“I would’ve thrown Austin so hard at you…” Her voice grumbled quietly.

“Thrown?”

“Well, yeah! Like, ‘Imma gonna throw you at my best friend and you’re gonna makes sure that she’s okay and you gotta cuddle her and you gotta take care of her.’” Kylar exclaimed. I laughed a little. Who had given her Monster today? Okay, so she didn’t sound so furious at me.

“Look, Kylar, you can’t tell anyone except for Dante, Skars, and Nico. We haven’t released a statement about the injuries yet, so this is still hush-hush, okay?” I asked her.

“Well I wasn’t going to tell anyone anyways! Don’t worry, this will be kept between our little group!” She responded. With a sigh I nodded, closing my eyes and thinking about this.

“Okay, thanks Kylar.”

“Yeah, no prob!” With that, I hung up. Wobbling, I stood up and went back inside. Every looked at me as I came back in and tossed Alan his phone.

“Well, I told Kylar.” I sighed and at the last few bites of my pancakes, hungrily swallowing the gulp of whip cream.

“Oh really?” Austin asked me. I nodded, putting my plate in the sink to wash later.

“Yep. She had quite a few words to say about it, but Kk’s not to mad.” I smiled a little and started to head off to my bunk. This had been enough social time for today.

“That sounds good. Hey, we’re going to play Extreme Monopoly in a little.” He said matter-of-factly. I sighed and rolled over as I got into my bunk.

“Okay, you guys have fun!” I said and opened up my twitter before quickly shutting it. I didn’t want to see all of those tweets yet.

“You’re playing to!” Tino added. The boys stated their agreement. I ripped off my sweatshirt, tossing it into a lump in the corner. I switched out into a short sleeved shirt. It was green and had bold black letters on it that read, PUG LIFE. A little paw print dotted the “I”.

“I might have to sit this one out. I’m a little busy!” I made up an excuse off the top of my head.

“With what?” Austin questioned. I paused to find the words.

“Um, I’m, ah, about to Skype Jake?” I stated. Okay, that was a pretty obvious lie, but I still wanted to see my pug again. The knot in my stomach twisted tighter as I thought about my dog.

“Yeah sure!” Aaron laughed.

“But I really miss him!” I whined and stuck my head out of the curtain, pretending to pout a little. Austin smiled.

“We’ll have to visit him soon!” Phil put in. I ducked back into my bunk and started to pull out a laptop, faking pulling up Skype and tapping loudly to prove myself.

“You’re still playing Extreme Monopoly!” Alan exclaimed. I sighed. Maybe one round wouldn’t kill me…

“Teams?” I asked cautiously.

“Nope! You’re experienced enough!” Aaron chuckled lightly. I sighed and looked out at the band, glaring at each one in turn.

“Fine, I’ll do it.” I grumbled.

Notes

Yay, there is an update! Okay, so I went to the doctor today and they gave me a finger splint. I might have to get x-ray's later if it's continuing to make me scream in pain by the end of the week. For now, I can type a little bit better and I'll be updating as often as possible. School starts for me tomorrow, so it might be later than before!

I hope you enjoyed this update and thanks for all the well wishes!