Shattered

“First things you have to know is that your mother and I work to free slaves from owners. We’ve been doing this since you were nine. It only took us a year to make some deadly enemies.

“You were about ten that summer that we got a call from a man named Nicco, who was basically a ‘CEO’ of the market. He was one of the big, top notch people there. He didn’t say his last name, but told us that if we didn’t stop our ‘interventions’ now, he would kill us. Nicco never knew that we had a daughter, so we stayed low during that year. The next summer, a girl came to us with no left arm. Her old owner had cut it off when she had disobeyed and ran away. The girl came to us to seek shelter. We helped her out and sent you off to grandma’s house for a few weeks.

“After the girl left, your mom and I went after the owner and shut him down. It was a bit of a messy business. Well, true to his word, Nicco sent his own thugs after us. They mostly stayed on the streets, but when you were twelve, that’s when they entered our house.

“We told you to hide under your bed and stay there because we didn’t want you to be seen by Nicco. If there was any possibility for you to live, it would be if you had to stay hidden. He came in and shot us, but he missed any vitals. We were bleeding out, but Mom managed to drive us to a friend’s place after Nicco left. The thing was, I think Nicco knew all along that we were alive and he was just teaching us a lesson not to mess with his buyers.

“Ever since then, we had to be on the run, always trying to help stop the black market. We’ve been attacked multiple times, all by Nicco’s thugs. We always wanted to come back and bring you with us, but it would be too dangerous to add to Nicco’s little game. If he ever saw you, he would take you away from us and kill you just to prove a point and we didn’t want to lose our little girl.” Tears were forming in both my parent’s eyes as they told me this. I couldn’t believe it.

My parents were a part of this market the entire time, but they were trying to stop it all. They hadn’t visited me and had me fend for myself because they couldn’t come back and see me. Nicco would’ve killed me at an early age.

“Why couldn’t you send me a note, or a message of some sort?” I asked my mom. She held my hand tightly, but I could barely feel it. My body was numb, number than I ever was.

“Nicco kept us on the run at all times. Sending anything was too risky. We almost came back to Denver a couple of times, but Nicco’s men were trailing us.” My dad explained sympathetically.

“How did you find me?” I asked again. My dad sat at across from me with my mom next to my right side. Austin sat to my left and rubbed my shoulder as the tale of woe unfolded. What a mixed up life I had!

“Although Nicco has kept close tabs on us, we do have other allies. Someone has gotten us a small, private plane that will jet us from California to Europe. Nicco’s men have been closing the noose tighter and tighter in the last year. We’ve done all we can, and now we have to escape or die. Before we can leave, we decided to do one last search attempt to find you. When we went back to Denver, we found a man named Brecker who told us all about what you had been through, the entire trade and freedom. He told us where to find you and from there, we came here.” My dad smiled weakly. Although I had been through a lot in the past year, I couldn’t imagine what they had gone just to find me! Death seemed to be around the corner every day for my long lost family.

They might have faked their death, but they had a good enough excuse.

“So you’re going to Europe?” I asked them. What did this mean for me? They wanted to come and pick me up. As much as I loved my Dad and Mom more than anything and I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible, I had just gotten my life with Austin back! I was going to be with him for as long as I could. Now, it seemed like my short amount of time was being ripped from under my own two feet.

“We’re all going to Europe. We’ll be living in London, among the crowds. Nicco’s reign only extends as far as the borders of our country. Out of the continent, we’ll be safe.” My mother’s lip trembled. She had just found her daughter, and now we had to make a giant move with only the clothing off our backs to Europe.

“So I’m going with you?” I asked in barely a whisper. My dad nodded. No, I can’t go, I’m not going! Nicco wouldn’t be able to find me in this secluded location!

“How long?” I asked. Maybe it would only be for a year or two until this simmered down.

“Permanent.” The stated together. Even Austin seemed to freeze. Alan looked up from the carpet he had taken a sudden interest in.

“B-but, can’t I visit Austin and the boys often?” I stuttered in utter shock.

This can’t be happening! I’m an adult now and I can make my own decisions!

“No. I’m sorry sweetheart, but it’s too dangerous to contact them, even by phone or mail. Nicco’s men were able to track us just by payphone calls we made to allies. It’s too much of a risk to try to contact people back here and although Nicco’s operations don’t go outside of the border, he would find us a threat large enough to send out men to kill us in Europe if he found out that’s where we were.” My mother patted my hand. Tears welled in my eyes and I couldn’t find my escaped voice.

I was leaving Austin-for good.

There was no phones calls late at night.

There was no trips from London back to his house.

There were no more cuddles from the boy in the morning.

No more teasing kisses, playful games, or movie marathons.

My entire life was being erased.

I stood up and tried to get my bearings. No, I wouldn’t go with them. I love my parents, but I had a life back here. I had Ghost, Chris, and the band, Iren, Quinn, Anarchy, Jack, Alex, Hope, and Brecker! I had all these people that I would fail to keep my promise to!

“Please, mom, can’t I stay here? I’ll be safe with the boys! I promise!” I begged. Alan, Aaron, Tino, and Phil came up to defend my position.

“We’ll take very good care of her!” Tino told my parents. I felt the tears stream down my face. My dad gave me a tight hug, as if he could squeeze the pain away.

“I’m sorry, Kynder. In Europe, there’s no chance that Nicco will be tracking us. We can finally live without fear of being hunted down. There won’t be a black market and we can leave it all behind! We’ll be together as a family once again!” My mom tried to persuade me.

But I had another family here with the life I fought hard to keep. Was this really the best for me?

“Cole, we need to hurry.” My mother warned my dad. They both got into the truck, waiting for me to join them. Austin took my hand and turned me to face him.

“Austin, I don’t want to leave you. This isn’t some temporary move, this is permanent and I’ll never visit you again!” I sobbed to him. He pulled me into his chest, rocking me back and forth.

It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

“Shhh, darling. You know I love you so much, I really do. You’re my girl, my world, my everything, and I would do all in my power to keep you safe and by my side.” His voice was cracking as well. In the background, the grown men sniffed away hints of tears. Alan was starting to break down.

“I love you to.” I sobbed back to him. He brought my face up to meet his eyes.

“The thing is, I want to keep you safe and with me forever, but it seems like I can’t have both. I want you with me forever because you’ve changed my life and my view of the world forever. The thing is, I’d rather know you’re safe, sound, and happy without being near me. If we’re together, that puts you danger.” He whispered. His beautiful voice started to fragment and drop to the cement.

Aus wanted me safe, but knew he couldn’t be with me anymore. He was willing to give up the fight to keep me as long as I would be safe and out of harm’s way.

“I can’t lose you. It’s happened twice before, and I’m not going to let you die again.” He sobbed into my arms.

“Austin, I don’t think I can stand not seeing you and the boys again. I don’t want to wake up alone for another morning. I want to stay with you and wake up in your arms, I want to joke around with Alan, I want to garden with Tino, I want to play checkers with Phil, and I want to talk with Aaron. I can’t leave you.” I broke down completely.

This was our last goodbye.

I was too poor to own a camera to capture all the moments we went through. There was not electronics to record anything we had created together. It was all in my mind.

It was just memories from now on.

“I’m not leaving you.” I stated firmly. He shook his head and stroked my cheek. It was almost time for me to go.

“You have to. Goodbye, Kynder.” He kissed my forehead. I let go of his arms and went to each of the men, giving our own tearstained faces another look before hugging it out. Everyone was in tears.

This was permanent. There was no going back.

“Good bye, little Kyn.” Alan wailed. I ruffled his ginger hair and sniffled.

“Take care of Bob the Golf Club.” I tried a chuckle, but Alan wailed louder and turned to Aaron’s side. Everyone was sobbing like there was no tomorrow.

But I guess, we never would have another tomorrow as a big group together.

I turned back to Austin’s arms. He wrapped me tightly into his chest and we both howled our sorrows out for a minute. The car rumbled to life, our cue to go. I had the pack on my back, and nothing else.

“I love you so much, Kynder. Never forget that.” He whispered to me. I reached up before he could say anything else and pressed my lips against his. Rivers of sorrow poured down our faces, but we didn’t care.

No more kisses on the jaw that tickled and made me shiver. No more waking up in his arms tightly snaked around my waist. No more falling asleep with my head listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.

“I love you, Austin. Nothing could change that. You were the only one who fixed the pieces after I was so shattered.” I whispered through hiccups of tears. He clutched me to him one last time before I was forced to let go.

This was a never ending pain on my chest. Nothing could alleviate it. I never knew how much I loved that boy until I started my walk into the jeep. Once I got into the back seat and we backed out, I could barely see the scene before me through the waterworks.

As we turned to leave, I raised my hand in a final farewell. Austin raised his hand back. Alan and Aaron were hugging in the back and even through the rumble of the gravel, I could hear the agony their heart went through. It matched my own pain.

But I could only see Aus, standing lonely against the house. If I could, I would strangle Nicco here and now for making us travel half way across the world and lose my best friend. I had to go with my family, I had to keep them safe-for their sake and mine. There was no option in this. It was for the safety of all of us.

Today was the last time I ever saw Austin Carlile.

Notes

It's okay to cry...Here's your tissues *Hands you a box of tissues*

I'm sobbing right now, so can we sob together?