Shattered

When we arrived at the old pond by the abandoned barn, the light was slowly fading. It was the perfect time. Like always, Aaron blasted the radio from his car, turning it to A Day to Remember’s song, All Signs Point to Lauderdale.

“Best. Song. Ever!” I laughed as the song started blaring out over the plains. Tino and Phil were unloading some of the firewood that they had brought. Austin brought out buckets in case something caught on fire, even though it was basically all dirt for the mile around us.

So far, there was a totally of six chairs in a circle around the large fire pit that was already starting to crackle to life. Austin took my hand as we sat in chair next to each other. Three boxes were placed next to Alan’s chair. The four boys had lighters with them and a stash of fireworks against the legs of the folding chairs.

“Ready?” Aaron asked me. I nodded. It was time to just relax and unwind. I could watch my past burn before my eyes. This was it. What was behind me would be in ashes soon enough. I could only look towards the future.

At my cue, Alan lit off a firework. They agreed to save the largest fireworks for the grand finale. For now, it was just a bunch of little explosives like bottle rockets, roman candles, and small grenades that Tino liked to chuck in the pit. The large hollow of flames was about four feet across any direction and we sat at a safe distance away from it.

Occasionally, Phil would lodge a small explosive fireworks grenade at the perfect time so that the tiny pop would land in beat with the music. The small piece of firewood would jump into the air and land in the middle of the flames once again.

“Here, try this!” Alan tossed me a roman candle after I launched off a bottle rocket. Austin lit it off as I grasped the explosive. As soon as the little wick ran out, the colors sprayed into the air with glittering sparks. They went far enough to go over and cascade onto the pond. The effect was mesmerizing.

“That was awesome!” I chuckled. It seemed like ages ago when I used to light off fireworks with my parents. Tino and Phil had pulled out some sparklers and were passing them around for everyone to have a bundle. It was like the fireworks had an unending supply!

Aus held linked his fingers in mine with one hand and held the silver sparkler in the other. I did the same and watched the flames pop and sizzle in the middle of the pit.

The long hours wore on until midnight was close enough to touch. The moon was high overhead. The stars didn’t shine as brightly as they did in Utah, but it was still dazzling.

Plumes of smoke curled like lazy fingers over the pond that mirrored the night sky. Aaron pulled out a waxy, cake looking substance. I looked at him curiously as he tossed the large chunk into the fire. Within minutes, the flames went from a blazing yellow and red to a purple color.

“The old chemical cakes?” Austin asked and tossed the remnants of his fourth sparkler into the logs. Aaron nodded and leaned back into the red chair.

“These were back from when that fireworks dealer came to town.” He explained. Oh, so they must have a special substance in them to turn the flames different colors. The purple flames wavered in the moonlight.

“Well, it’s about midnight. Should start the burning?” Tino asked. Phil perked up at the idea and started to head towards the boxes.

“Let’s do it!” Austin declared. We all made our way over to the three unopened boxes. Alan took off the lids and tossed them into the back of the truck. The song You Only Live Once by Suicide Silence turned on just as we hauled the buckets to the edge of the violent flames.

It was if Mitch was right here with us.

“Ready?” Aus asked me. Everyone paired up on each side of one plastic box. I was with Austin, Alan stood with Aaron, and Tino and Phil took the last box. We each were in a different spot by the fire.

I was ready to let go of the past.

“Ready.” I confirmed. As soon as Mitch and the band started the second verse and told me I only had one shot, the entire group held onto the handles and tossed the contents of the bucket into the purple flames. Everyone set the buckets on the ground and watch as the purple flames went higher and higher in the hungry flames. The papers, the leashes, the collars, the whips, and the pain all burnt to ashes.

It was just as beautiful as the army of homeless alley runners charging the house.

As I watched the silver collar crackle and fracture under the intense flame, I felt the agony I had felt for months erased.

I couldn’t draw my eyes away from the flame, but someone put their hand on my shoulder. For a moment, I looked back at Tino. He held something in his hands.

It was the iron fire poker. He nodded and held it out to me. For a moment, my brain screamed for me to run away, to just bolt out of panic and fear.

I’m not going to run this time.

Thanking him wordlessly, I took the iron spear in my hands. The rest of the boys backed away to see my reaction. For a months, this had caused me terrible torture. For a day, this shattered everything I had built back up.

It was time for this to die. I knew it wouldn’t melt, but had the satisfactory value of letting it sit in the flames. Weighing it in my right hand, I grasped the middle like a spear.

And then I chucked it in a perfect arch to the middle of the fire.

It stuck the landing, ending up at a slight angle like an arrow in the ground. The purple flames were six feet high and towered over the end. As soon as the weight had left my hand, I instantly felt better. It seemed as if Mitch’s voice approved in his song.

We all returned to our seat to watch the work incinerate. Moment by moment, I smiled wider and brighter. It may have been well past midnight and I was dead tired, but I was home. Finally, I was home.

When the ceremony ended, I helped back up. The flames were dying out as nothing was left to feed it. When everyone was back in their rightful truck, Aaron dumped a bucket of water over the last flame. When we started to drive off, I glanced out the window to the fire iron that stood in the middle of the ashen pit.

“Did you enjoy it?” Austin wrapped an arm around my shoulders in the backseat. I leaned into his comforting warmth.

“Yes, I did.” I answered softly before closing my eyes. As I drifted off, the old memories were long since faded and I only had peace.

It was the best sleep I had gotten in quite a while.

Notes

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