Shattered

Finally, escape from this hospital and ready to roam the streets once again! As the nurse came to untie my from the IV bag and replace the bandages, I attempted to contain myself. They pushed me in a wheelchair down to the lobby. Austin stayed by my side the entire time.

As the elevator door beeped, I thought about where I had to go, what I had to do.

On one hand, I had to take care of those in the city. People always came to Wrecker for advice, for suggestions and other things. Brecker was always his wingman. Now I would have to take Wreck’s place. My ties were to this city. I was born and raised here, from my old life with my mom and dad to my current point in time. I don’t know if I really wanted to leave my current situation!

On the other hand, I loved Austin to death and beyond. He might have messed up once, but hadn’t we all? Amity’s last advice still haunted me, but Austin had proved he was determined to keep me, not desperate. He had saved my life, for heaven’s sake! The life I had lived in their house was good for the month, as long as we excluded that one day, but otherwise it was filled with fun and better food than the streets!

Then again, he was still in that black market I was subjected to. I wanted no part of that anymore.

By the time I was done with my mixed thoughts, we were already outside. Alan had picked up their car and were waiting for us. Aaron, Austin, Alex, and Jack all gathered into the seats with me. I leaned against Austin’s side, an ocean of thoughts tumbling over my head. Alan started the car silently and we drove. Austin quietly handed me the grey pack.

“I had almost forgotten this.” I murmured. He smiled with bliss.

“I’m glad I could return it.” He murmured and kissed my cheek.

The road hummed with the familiar traffic as we started towards Denver, but then turned. I looked, slightly confused at where we were going. A small building in the distance quenched any fears.

The rail yard was completely deserted except for five pale figures plus four people in tattered clothing. I smiled at the sight of Motionless in White, Iren, Quinn, Hope, and Anarchy. Our little troop in the vehicle parked and went to meet them.

“Ghost!” I cried as he scooped me up in a big bear hug. I laughed with joy. Despite seeing him just yesterday, I was always excited to see my specter!

“We’re going back with Iren, Quinn, Hope, and Anarchy to get back to our train. You could join us, if you want.” He told me happily. Chris came next to him, followed by the rest of the band. Balz hung back, face still down.

“You’re always welcome to join us. We’d be happy to have you on tour as well.” Chris winked. I raised my eyebrows in pleasant surprise.

“So is that a job offer?” I asked slyly. Now I had the boys to think about in my decision!

“Only until you take it.” Ricky laughed. They all waited expectantly.

“Give me a moment to think about it.” I replied. They nodded, hope still in their eyes. They were all like brothers to me and being able to travel around the country with them would be fantastic. But was it really what I wanted?

Austin pulled me aside from the rest. His smile was so bright, it reflect the rays of the sun.

“Kynder, I have some news.” He grinned wider.

“What?”

“Aaron, Alan, and I aren’t going to be part of this business anymore. After Miles’s house, we want nothing to do with it. I think Tino and Phil are the same way, but I would have to talk to them to confirm. We’re going to try to settle some things, which might take a little while, but we’ll be out in hopefully a little bit.” He cupped both hands around my face. My brain stopped functioning.

What? Did he really say he was pulling out of this black market? I couldn’t be happier! Then again, I still had a bunch of alley runners to help out with…

“T-that’s awesome!” I stuttered, unsure if those were the right words. It felt like cotton was shoved in my mouth as the gears in my head turned. He crushed me under his tall hug before we went back to the people that came to say goodbye.

Everyone naturally started to form a little circle as conversations came to a slow halt. It would be a sad farewell. We were strangers united under a single cause and bonded by the results. I would make a point to visit each one of them at some point in the very near future.

“Well, this is goodbye.” I finally broke the silence. Everyone nodded their glum agreements. I looked and saw Jack and Alex, arms around each other. I gave them a small smile. I took the silver key out of my pack.

“I have this to return.” I broke our formation and walked to Quinn, giving her the silver key. Hope was at her side, bandages wrapped around her legs. She clutched it in her trembling hand. I could see little drops of tears form at her eyelids.

“Anytime you need a ride, hop aboard.” Quinn told me. Iren shook my hand. I would miss watching them argue over their midnight Gin Rummy games.

“Same goes for our train. Just knock and the doors are always open.” Hope gave me a tight hug as I took a step back. Oh, I wouldn’t ever forget about them. Maybe I could escape for a week or two to ride with them. I turned to the next people in line. It was Jack and Alex.

“Kyn, you’re welcome to stay with us anytime. I mean, I get tired of listening to Jack snore every night.” Alex smiled. I laughed, trying not to breakdown.

“Hey!” Jack argued. I shook my head at their jokes. Maybe some time, I could get down to their place.

“I’ll have to visit sometime.” I agreed. Anarchy stood next to Jack. Instead of speaking, I went up and wrapped my arms in a tight hug. There could be no words for what he just lost.

“I’ll visit you on the rails sometime.” I whispered in his ear. He nodded and sniffled, giving me a squeeze back. The MIW boys were anxiously awaiting their turn.

“Offer is still up.” Chris pulled me into another tight hug. I thanked each of them for helping me. Ghost was last. I ruffled his hair playfully, still unsure of what to say.

“You better see one of our shows. We’ll get you tickets.” Ghost sniffed unhappily.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I gave him a half-hearted chuckle and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. It was kind of adorable when he blushed. After I let go. I went to Austin, Alan, and Aaron.

“So where are you going to live, what are you going to do?” Aaron asked the question, finally putting my thoughts into words. Everyone mumbled their agreement with the question. I stepped back to look at everyone.

“Our house is open. You can come live in Isolation, Utah.” Jack and Alex offered.

“The train is comfortable. Stay as long as you need.” Quinn offered. Iren nodded at her side.

“You could be our merch girl!” Ghost cheered. They were all so kind to offer me a place to live. They all basically wanted to adopt me.

It touched my heart. I hadn’t felt like this in a while.

“Please stay with us, Kynder.” Austin begged, eyes wide and pleading. I drowned under the pools of soft brown. My brain racked up all possible options. Austin wanted me to stay with him, but he still had some things to work out. So did I.

“So what’ll you do?” Alan questioned curiously. I took a breath and nervously played with the straps on my pack.

I was finally ready to make my choice.

“You’ve all been so kind and gracious to me. I don’t know how I would’ve made it without all of you. First, I’d like to thank you for all your offers. If I could, I would want to spend all my time with each of you, but that’s not possible,” I started out. Everyone looked at me expectantly.

“Quinn, Iren, Hope, Anarchy….you’ve all been amazing people and I loved getting to know all you guys, but I can’t live on the trains. I think not getting to run would turn me insane!” I laughed. They nodded their heads, but accepted my decline. They all knew I would visit. I turned to Jack and Alex.

“You two are the funniest guys I’ve met and as much fun as living in Isolation, Utah would be, I can’t live there. I’m sorry, but I promise that I will visit. If not, you can come down to Denver.” I gave them a weak smile.

“Oli, Gerard, Frank, and Jordan will want to see you, so you better haul ass up here soon.” Jack joked, but his face was broken. I felt bad for declining, but I couldn’t stay with them.

“I will.” I murmured and turned to the boys with pale faces. It seemed like ages ago when I saw Chris for the first time and leapt up into the storage compartment.

“Boys, you guys are awesome all around and thank you for the offer, but I have to decline. I’ve got a job already, and that’s to take care of the alley runners down here. I’d love to tour with you, but Denver calls to me.” I told them sadly. Balz looked even more dejected, but Chris gave me a weak smile.

“We’ll pop on the train occasionally, so we’ll have to meet up at some time.” He told me. I nodded.

Finally, it was Austin, Alan, and Aaron’s turn. Austin looked hopeful, just for a moment. I had turned everyone else down, so he must’ve thought there was a chance for me to come with him. Alan and Aaron were both swaying anxiously for the answer.

“Austin, love, we’ve been through good and bad together. You were the first to show me that not all owners were cruel, and I love you more than anything else. You searched for me after I escaped and never gave up. You’ve saved my life and gave me hope for the good in the world. I love you, Aus.” I whispered the last sentence to him. I could tell he was anxious for the answer.

“But, I’m sorry. I can’t live with you. Not now.” I answered. It broke my heart once again, ripping it to tinier and tinier pieces. Aaron’s jaw dropped. Alan seemed to want to tear out his hair.

“I’ve got things here in Denver to clear up. There’s things to clean up, people to take care of. You’ve got things to work out with the business. I don’t want to stall that process even more, and all I’ve wanted to be is away from that black market. I promise, swear on my life, that I will visit you. Until you’ve gotten this all sorted and finished with, then we can talk about this again.” I could barely get the words out. A rumbling vibration, squealing wheels, and screaming horn announced the train pulling into the station. We gave a quick wave and farewell to those leaving until it was just us four left.

Before I could even turn and face him, Austin swept me up, kissing every inch of my face in desire and longing. When he finally reached my lips, I kissed him back just as hard. We finally had to break for air.

“I love you to, Kynder. I’m sad that I had to get into all of this and now I can’t hold the most beautiful girl in the world for another while. It was a foolish, idiotic business, but I promise I’m going to erase all of it from my life. I just want to bring you back with me and hold you in my arms, but I can be patient.” Tears were running down his cheeks now. I couldn’t believe I just destroyed his heart.

It looks like we were all shattered.

“I’ll come back, I promise. Just not now. There are too many things that would get in the way.” I swore to him. He clutched me closer to his body. I would miss this warmth, these moments in his arms.

“I know you will. I don’t want to force you to do anything. You’re free, finally. I’m not going to take that from you, and I don’t want to steal that gift away. Kynder, it’s going to be a while until I can sort it out, but I will do it just so I can get you back.” He sobbed. I started to cry with him.

“I know you will.” That’s all I could manage out through fractured breaths. When Austin Carlile made a promise, he would keep it.

“Goodbye, Austin.” I whispered. It feels like forever was crashing down on me.

“Goodbye, Kynder.” He whispered back before wiping a tear away. I reached up, linking my arms around his neck and pulling me down to meet me half way. I kissed him one last time.

It wasn’t full of lust nor hungry and passionate. It was filled with longing, grief, but was drenched in a promise to return.

When we broke, I gave Aaron and Alan one last quick hug before taking Austin’s hand in mine. The other two companions were heading towards the car. I watched as the evening sun started to sink in. This would be our last goodbye for a while.

But not forever.

“I love you.” Austin whispered.

“I love you.” I mirrored back to him. I squeezed his fingers, laced tightly in mine. As I pulled away, I let our fingers linger for a final moment, trying to take in that last moment of familiarity.

Turning around, I walked down the hill and trying not to run back to his side. I could feel Austin watch me walk down with my grey pack on my back and the black I wore a bleak landmark. Only as I heard the truck rumble to life did I turn around, raising my arm in farewell.

I could’ve sworn I saw Austin’s lips form three words, the same three words as I hopped on the train to what I thought was freedom. Even from this distance, I could still make it out.

I love you.

Notes

Okay, sorry for the super long chapter, but I couldn't just break this up and leave you guys with a cliff hanger!

Please keep commenting about the video! I already have one comment saying I should make the videos! Please comment if you would watch the video(See last chapter in Notes) and would be willing to provide feedback on it! Thanks everyone!

THIS ISN'T THE LAST CHAPTER SO BEFORE YOU PANIC THAT KYNDER AND AUSTIN DIDN'T END UP TOGETHER, KEEP READING!!!

Love you all and stay beautiful!