Shattered

Waking up terrified me. It literally scared me beyond my wits. The room was sterile and white and all I wore was a light blue gown under the sheets of the bed. The sun peering through slit shades seemed brighter than was possible. Was I dead already? I blinked back the white spots and tried to sit up, but the pain forced me back.

“Take it easy, sweetheart.” Austin’s soothing voice murmured in the quiet room. A green curtain was drawn on my right side. I heard soft voices talking to another person. It sounded like Jack.

“Austin?” I whispered, not trusting myself to speak. Would reprimand me and force me to resort back to the manners that had been beaten in to me? It seemed like I was living in constant fear of this happening.

“I’m here.” His soft voice soothed. I forced my head to turn and look at him. His brown hair, tussled and tangled, was drooped over slightly from the usual gelled position. Although he looked beaten and bruised, Aus never failed to dazzle me with the genuine grin.

“I think I bruised my knuckles throwing Miles out the window.” I murmured. My fingers did ache. Austin laughed, despite what we had just gone through. Alan’s head peeked around and gave me a broad, cheeky grin.

“You’re up.” He exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I laughed merrily. I wasn’t dead! I wasn’t dead! There were things worth living for and I had to meet them half way there!

“The others will be happy to see you getting better.” Ghost peeked around the corner at the sound of my voice. Austin held my hand gently and Ghost took my other side.

“Hey.” He murmured. Most of his makeup had been washed off. It was like he was a whole different person.

“Hey, Ghost.” I murmured back.

“I would say that I would kill whoever did this to you, but it seems that you’ve beat me to it.” Ghost gave a half grin. It then set in on me. I killed a person. I killed a person! I KILLED MILES!

“Oh, I killed someone.” I gasped, twisting my mouth into a frown. I wasn’t sure how to take this.

“Monster, not man.” Alan reminded me. I nodded and shrugged. It was Miles, after all. Ghost patted my hand softly, a forlorn look etched his face in deep though.

“Kynder….”

“Yes, Ghost?” I responded. This couldn’t be good. This COULD NOT be good!

“Amity, she…uh…she didn’t make it.” He whispered softly. I nearly sat up straight with disbelief. Austin panicked as the monitor reading my heart flat lined for a beat.

“No.” My brain couldn’t register this. What would happen to Anarchy? Like their names, they balanced each other out perfectly! Amity was the talking for Anarchy’s usual silence, so what would happen to him?! They relied on each other for everything.

“Balz kind of got attached to Amity. He’s out in the hall with him. They’re devastated.” Ghost told me. A tear traced my cheek and ran down my jawline. Austin’s had cupped my face, stroking my wet skin somberly.

“No. She can’t die. She couldn’t have. What’s going to happen to Anarchy? She was all he had!” I choked out. Tears ran down my cheek, but I couldn’t sob. My lungs hurt too much.

“Shh, don’t cry for Amity. She’s up with Mitch and Wrecks.” Austin murmured. Alan followed Ghost as he left the room. We were all alone now.

“She’s supposed to be down here with Anarchy. They were supposed to ride the train with Hope. I was going to visit them and ride the line for a week, they told me to visit!” My voice cracked badly. Austin had no response for my sadness.

“Kyn?” A voice asked. I wiped away the stray tears as Jack walked around the curtain. His arm was in a bandage, but by his side was Alex. He supported Jack as they limped over to my side.

“Hi, Jack.” I gave him a feeble smile. I was so emotionally, physically, and mentally drained that I felt like an empty sink.

“Looks like you got beat up pretty badly.” Jack observed.

“Well, I was there for three days.” I explained. He nodded slowly. We exchanged conversation about the war wounds for a few minutes before everyone finally left us alone. Austin held my hand once again as we sat in the heavy wordlessness.

“The doctor said you can get out tomorrow. He said the whip lashes weren’t bad and the burns had already been stitched up. The knife wouldn’t wasn’t too bad, just painful.” Austin told me hopefully. I couldn’t get my mind off Amity.

“Oh, that’s good.” My brain trailed off, wonder about the fate of my other friends.

“You seem distracted.” Austin murmured, lightly touching my cheek.

“Who else died?” I asked suddenly, needing to know.

“Hope was badly wounded, but no one else you would know. We had vast numbers and only lost five.” Austin explained. It seemed like we were soldiers, not typically street people.

“But Amity had to be one of them.” I let out a shaky sigh. Balz, what about him? Ghost said that he had gotten attached to her. I could almost see them together, seven years into the future. All possibilities were now erased.

“Kynder, do you want to go back home?” He asked quietly. I looked him straight through his weak defense. I could tell he wanted me back with him. There was still one restriction: He currently lived in a house that was still part of the black market.

I don’t want to be part of that anymore. All I want to do is help those that have been taken find their way home.

But if I stayed in Denver, I wouldn’t get to see Austin that much. I had the city streets to run, the homeless voices to hear. Being with my love wouldn’t allow me to hear the voices that were passed over and give voice to those who couldn’t speak.

But I knew that I loved him and Amity’s final advice was right. He came and searched for me, fought for me. He wanted to show me that he was dedicated to finding me, not desperate. Aus loved me. It was true.

“I don’t know.” I murmured back. He nodded, gears turning in his brain. A few moments later, a nurse came in and put sedatives in my IV drip. They kicked into effect immediately.

“You can decide on it tomorrow. Sleep for now.” Austin told me. I nodded sleepily. As I closed my eyes, I felt his lips brush my forehead and kissed me gently.

Notes