Shattered

When I awoke, there was a shooting pain flying through every nerve in my body. It sent tingling sensation to the tips of my fingers. Ghost’s arms were wrapped around my waist, but I wriggled out of them, struggling to get to my bag without waking anyone up.

I dropped to the floor, falling without making a sound. I opened my mouth for a soundless howl of pain, but bit my lip to make sure nothing came out. Everyone was already asleep. An electric clock on the wall dinged the song for nine in the morning. My arms trembled.

I was seriously over dealing with this pain.

With my legs like lead, I steeled my nerve and crawled to my knees, grasping the bag. My fingers burned with an intense pain. The whips lashes weren’t causing any fire anymore, but my stomach was ablaze.

There wasn’t time to get water. I unscrewed the cap and used to trembling fingers to pop pills in my mouth before the dark edges of my vision could consume me. I should’ve been more responsible and made sure to wake up early so I would be on time. I was already an hour late!
As soon as the pills were swallowed, the familiar sense of relief flood back into my system. I flopped on the floor, unable to move an inch. The bottle of pills were still in my hand as I fell back asleep.

Two hours later, I woke up groggy and on the couch. A blanket was draped over me. The pain relief was already starting to wear off. This wasn’t normal. It was supposed to last four more hours! I couldn’t take another set of pills until then and I could already feel the aches and pains come back!

“Hey, you’re up.” Ricky smiled. I nodded and blinked again. Instead of Ricky’s sweet voice, all I heard was Alan and Austin yelling that I was dying.

“You’re dying! Please let us help you!”

“Just let Ronnie heal you! Please, Kynder!” The words went through my head over and over again. My amazing days on the train were slipping away as reality set in.

I really was dying. The pain pills weren’t stopping it like I thought. No, I was continuing to perish. I had to get to Denver, and fast.

“Kynder?” A voice asked me. I looked at Ricky, raising my eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, my thoughts were elsewhere.” I apologized quietly. He patted my shoulder and knelt next to me.

“It’s fine. Are you feeling any better? We woke up and found you on the floor.” He bit his lip nervously.

“Yeah, I’m feeling better,” I lied easily to him. He seemed to believe it. “I just woke up an hour later than when I was supposed to take my pills.” The sleeping issue was the truth, just how I was feeling was a lie.

“You’re still looking a little pale, so I’ll let you rest.” He smiled to me and I nodded. My eyes glazed over as I stared at the ceiling. The words that Ronnie had spoken about my injuries replayed in my head. So it really was true. They actually hadn’t been lying.

I was dying. The wound was so deep that it had burned my stomach and that was killing me slowly. I took a shaky breath and accepted the facts. Death didn’t scare me. It never did. Ever since my parents, I would accept it with open arms.

Maybe dying this time wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Was Austin actually trying to offer me help? Yes, he was. I was just too stupid and foolhardy to accept him. I let the worst of me take over with the paranoia. He had hurt me, yes. Aus had taken what I feared most and used it to his advantage, but he had come back trying to save me after making two big mistakes. He had abused me and then sold me, but sold me to a doctor. I should’ve accepted the only finger hold of help he had given me.

I deserved to die for being so foolish! I can’t go back now.

How was I going to tell Ghost that I was dying? It’s not like I could wake up the next morning dead and not tell them! I could hurt him like that. I couldn’t leave them wondering what they could’ve done.

I must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because I woke up three hour later in screaming pain. Quinn came and knelt by my side, holding a glass of water and some crackers.

“Please, the pills!” I asked her. She shook her head. My stomach was killing me.

“No, Kyn. You still have to wait another hour before you can take them. It’ll be three o’clock soon. You have to wait until then.” She calmed me down. I nodded and gritted my teeth through the pain. These pills were losing their potency. It helped that Ghost had sewed me together last night, but there was still that insistent fire that boiled my insides.

Ghost came to my side, kneeling by the couch. His hand grasped mine. I bit my lip hard as I coughed. The simple action made my stomach turn.

“Ghost, from Moab, what is the fastest way to get to Denver?” I asked him in a gasp. He shook his head, not knowing the answer.

“Take the Cedar City-Denver #2598 rain line. From Moab, it’s a twenty mile walk down to where it crosses at an unnamed town. The small town sits right where 191 and 46 meet up. The train will arrive there on Saturday at eleven in the morning. The only stop before that is at Price. It arrives at Friday at nine in the morning.” Iren explained from the corner.

“Looks like I’ll be waiting at the town for a little while.” I smiled through the pain. My plan was set.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with long naps and nibbling on a few crackers. I took the last half of the pain pills. I only had two more, so I would have to save those for when it was completely unbearable.

When it was nine o’clock, I opened my eyes once again. Everyone was standing up with unease in their eyes. Chris and Iren talked nervously in the corner. Quinn shook her head in sadness.

“What is it?” I asked sleepily. The pain had subsided, but not gone completely. In another hour, I might just have to finish off my supply of relief.

“The train ran into some technical problems. The engineer has called the station to tell them about our scheduling issue. Until then, we’ve been stalled for another four or five hours. Depending on how serious it is, we could be here for a day.” Ghost explained unhappily. They had a concert to attend to!

My stomach tightened into knots. No, it couldn’t be that long.

“There is good news, dear.” Quinn came up to me. We all looked at her expectantly.

“The rails intersects part of the highway. It’s just about eight miles outside of Price.” Quinn patted my hand happily. We were so close to Price! I could walk there, get some pain medication, and wait until Friday morning to catch the train! It was an incredible stroke of luck.

“I have to get there.” I told her, starting to pull myself up. As much as they told me to lie down, I resisted. Once I got up, I threw my stuff in the bag I always kept with me. Balz took out his wallet.

“Let me help you out.” He offered. I shook my head.

“Balz, no. I don’t want to take from you.” I shook my head. He refused to let me go, and shoved a twenty into my bag. I gave him a thankful hug. It was time to say my goodbyes to the crew that had become close friends over the short trip.

“That’s for the pain medication.” He told me with a sigh. I smiled and nodded. I went to Ricky and then Ryan, giving them both a hug and saying if I could ever afford to see their show, I would come out and watch. They told me they would send tickets and I needed to keep in touch.

“Chris, thanks for letting me hop aboard. You’ve all been really wonderful.” I thanked him. He wrapped his long arms around me in a gentle hug. I sniffed back tears.

“Anytime you need to hitch a ride, just jump on. Keep in touch and stay safe.” He handed me a slip of paper with his number on it. I didn’t have a phone, but if I found myself with spare change, I would catch up with him.

“Iren, Quinn, thank you for helping me.” Thanked both of them. Quinn handed me something on a small silver chain. I looked at what she had given me. On the chain was a tiny key. I offered to give it back to her, but she closed my hands around it and stared me in the eyes.

“Hop aboard car number #232. It has a graffiti cross on it. Show this key to the woman named Hope. She’ll know.” She patted my hand affectionately.

“How can I get this back to you?” I asked her.

“This’ll give you an excuse to come back to the rails and ride it around for a week.” She grinned to me. I knew I would come back here. It would be my own traveling home.

“Of course.” A tear dotted my eye as I bid them farewell.

“Walk with me, Ghost?” I asked him. He nodded. We opened up the door and started heading outside. Now was as good a time as ever to tell him.

“I’m sad that you’re leaving us, Kynder.” Ghost murmured. I looked at him in the eyes sadly. The perfect world on the train was ending, but I was finally heading home to where I could get medical attention. I would live, but first, I must leave a part of myself behind.

“Ghost, I have to tell you something.” I said. We stopped walking. The pale moon watched on as we faced each other. The train was about a hundred feet back. I could see the highway only a little ways off in the distance. I could head north soon.

“What is it?” He asked me. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my dark jacket. The silver collar in my pack jingled as shifted my weight.

“I’m dying.” I responded. He stared, not even breathing. Suddenly his chest hitched and he took a step back.

“This is a cruel joke, isn’t it?” A note of panic rose in his voice. I wish it was just a cruel joke.

“No. I’m going home to Denver as quick as I can because that’s my home, and that’s where I can get medical help. If I can make it there soon, I can be fixed up. They have a program to provide cheap medical help to the homeless. If I can get back there, then I’ll be all fixed up.” I whispered to him, voice cracking. I couldn’t stand to see him so hurt. We may have only known each other for less than a day, but he’d become a great friend to me. A tear fell down my cheek. I could see a river of sadness drip through his pale face.

“They have hospitals in Moab! They must have on in Price!” He begged me. I shook my head.

“No, Devin. Wrecker, my old man back home, made me sign up for the program back in Denver. I have a card to prove it at home. I can’t afford to pay for it out here.” I told him sadly.

It was true that Wrecks made me sign up for it. He taught me a lesson a few years ago, saying that although we are strong, we can’t be too prideful to deny possible life-saving help. Apparently he had had to use it a while ago and made me join as soon as possible. The card was tucked safely in my drawer up by the couch in the abandoned house.

“Let us help you! If I tell Chris, we’ll stop in Moab and get them to fix you up!” He begged me. I shook my head.

“I can’t ask that of you to do that. Besides, it’s only a quick journey to Denver!” I told him. He let out a choked sob.

“No, no, you’re not dying. You’re too strong to be dying.” He wrapped me in his strong arms, like I would slip away from his grip.

“I am, but even the strongest can be taken down.” I whispered to him. I felt my stomach double over in pain, but I had to hold myself together!
“You can’t be dying.” He murmured again. I could see the other band member’s faces out the windows, watching our little conversation.

“I am, but I’ll be better soon. I promise.” I told him. He let me go, but hung onto my shoulders. My ghost in the moonlight sobbed again.

“I can’t let you go when you’re like this! We’ll get you to Moab. You can’t leave right now.” He stated firmly, trying to pull me back. I detached from him, backing up a step.

“Ghost, I have to. If the train gets held up a day, I’ll be out of pills and overwhelmed with the pain. I have to make it to Price so I can get more. Besides, I’ll get to Denver faster this way. I’ll call you after I get all patched up, I promise” I gave him a small smile. He tried to stop the flow of tears, but they were still streaming down his face.

“Please don’t go.” He whispered into the night. I heard a car honk on the highway, as if calling me to leave. I don’t know how long I had until pain overtook me. I pulled him into a hug, where he tightly squeezed back. I didn’t care what hurt or didn’t, right now my heart was being torn from his sadness.

I reached up, kissed him on the cheek, and backed away.

“Goodbye, Ghost.” I told him before turning around and walking towards the road.

All I heard was the wailing moans of my specter in the night as he walked back towards the train.

Notes

Sorry for the super long chapter guys, but I feel like I owed it to you because this story is on the first page of the popular stories list!!!!!

A big thanks to EVERYONE out there for reading and making this story so awesome!!!You're all so wonderful and this makes me very happy! I'll be writing more soon, but for now you get this!

Don't forget to keep being awesome and reading this story!